


A Smart Romance

by Dope1723



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, F/M, Slow Burn, anxious!christen, nerd!christen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:40:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 176,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22792636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dope1723/pseuds/Dope1723
Summary: The first year of college is stressful for anyone. But it's especially stressful to young athletes with dreams of making it into the professional league. It's going to be a very big challenge for Christen Press who has always suffered from severe anxiety and who has always had a very hard time making friends in her young life. She is now starting her first year of college where the pressure is on more than ever to perform not only in school, but also in soccer if she wants to make her dreams come true. Though she has also promised her parents she would try and have some fun at her time in college and for the first time try and let loose a bit and make some friends. Though it turns out it's going to be just as hard as she thought it would be.AKA I'm terrible at summaries.
Relationships: Tobin Heath/Christen Press
Comments: 520
Kudos: 1065





	1. Chapter one

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! So I've written quite a few things for TV character relationships in the past but this is my first time writing based off of real people and for the WOSO community. I've followed for a long time now, just never felt I was ready to give a go at a fic for them. But, I had an idea and was inspired so here it is! 
> 
> Also this is very AU. I know there is a University in Portland, but I kind of made up my own university and my own little world for them to live in here. If anything seems incorrect feel free to let me know, but I'm also just going to say straight up that I definitely changed some things to fit into my world and to take the story where I want it to go. This is my world and they are just fake living in it! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy...

Christen looks up at the tall building in front of her and swallows a lump in her throat. She glances around the University and sees a few other students milling around. Some are in groups hanging out just laughing and having a good time with each other. Some are laying out in the grass talking and enjoying the sunshine, seemingly pretty content to be here. 

They all look relaxed and like they don’t have a care in the world which is completely the opposite of how Christen is feeling right now. She can almost feel her body vibrating with nerves as she takes in her new home for the next 4 years. Or at least the place she will be living. It’s not home. Home is in LA with her family. 

“You going to help us with these boxes?” She hears her dad say from behind her. She can tell that he’s just joking with her, but snaps her back to reality and she quickly helps to pull some boxes out of the back of the car. 

“Sorry,” she mumbles. 

“Let’s start taking these inside,” her mother says gently, sensing her daughters nerves. 

Christen just nods and picks up a box as she watches her two sisters and her parents do the same. She heads for the front doors of the dorm rooms and smiles as she sees someone opening the door for them so they don’t have to set their boxes down. 

“Do you know where we are going?” Tyler asks as she follows her sister down one of the hallways and towards the elevators. 

“Not really,” Christen mumbles as her family all packs into the small elevator. She feels her heart rate pick up a little as they move up in the cramp space. She isn’t deathly afraid of closed spaces but being crammed into an elevator while she’s already pretty anxious, doesn’t help much. “I just know a general area,” she informs them. 

She had come up to Portland a few weeks back for her orientation and did a quick tour of the campus, though she didn’t have her exact room number at the time. She was just told there was a certain wing that all of the soccer team stayed in.

The door finally opens and she lets out a sigh of relief stepping out onto her floor. She glances around at the numbers to see which way she needs to start walking and heads off to the left, counting the numbers as she passes them by. 

As she gets closer to her own dorm number, she feels her nerves pick up a bit more. 

She is excited for her first semester of college, but she is also pretty nervous about it. She has always been very close to her family and this will be the first time that she will be away from them. Sure, she’s slept away for a few days at a time for soccer camps and other things, but it wasn’t anything like this. She was never going to be this far away for this long.

She has always had problems with anxiety in general, but being away for the first time is going to be a pretty difficult adjustment for her. Especially with the added stress of all her college work and also being on a college soccer team. Playing when she was younger, she always took the game seriously and even got told more than once that maybe she was a bit too serious and needed to just relax a bit more. But now she’s in another league and she has to train harder than she ever had which pretty much leaves no room for relaxing. Her dreams of making the National team and going pro after college count on it. 

The thought of it all has already brought her so much stress and she hasn’t even had her first day or classes or soccer practice. She pretty much spent her entire summer a bundle of nerves. She’d go out and practice every day until her legs pretty much gave out from under her. 

Her parents had tried to lecture her on how she was going to end up hurting herself, but Christen didn’t really listen. She had always been pretty stubborn and was going to do what she needed to do. Plus, she knows her body and she knows what she can take. 

She spots the number on the door that she had been looking for and sets her box down on the floor and searches her pocket for her room key. With a shaky breath she unlocks the door to her new home for at least the next year. 

She lets her family walk into the room with their boxes before her, and she glances across the hallway when she sees movement out of the corner of her eye. The dorm room door is open and there are two girls inside. One of them is unpacking a box and the other is leaning back in a chair, legs propped up on her desk, playing with what looks to be a Nintendo switch. 

The girl has a snap back on and looks like the epitome of chill. Like she doesn’t have any care in the world. Even though she looks pretty concentrated on the game, moving her entire body to play whatever game is so engrossed in. Christen can’t help but smile when she watches the girls tongue poke out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrates harder. 

She seems to win whatever she is playing because she shouts and gets the biggest grin on her face. Christen just smiles wider because this girl has the best smile that Christen has ever seen and she can’t not smile back. But then the girl looks up and catches Christen’s eye. She just smiles even wider and Christen quickly looks away, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. 

That’s Tobin freaking Heath. 

Tobin Heath, one of the best players on the national team is staying in the room across from her.

“Mo? You coming?” She hears her dad yell from inside the room.

Christen quickly pockets her room key and picks the box up off the ground, making her way into her own dorm room. She looks around and notices her roommates things are there and unpacked already, but the girl is nowhere to be seen. It’s a bit of a relief to her, because she wasn’t really ready for the awkward introductions. She just wants to unpack and spend some time with her family before dealing with it. 

“Christen your roommate is hot!” Tyler says with a grin. Christen looks over and sees Tyler looking at some photos that were sitting on the girl’s dresser. 

Her younger sister, Channing then joins her and looks over Tyler’s shoulder to look at the photo as well. “That’s Alex Morgan! Your roommate is Alex Morgan!” Channing shouts excitedly. 

Christen just rolls her eyes at her over eager sisters. “Yes, I know,” she says with a sigh. She had been given her roommate assignment months ago so she knew exactly who she was rooming with. The gorgeous and amazing soccer player, Alex Morgan. It was her second year of college and she had already made the national team and won a World Cup just a few months ago. It just made Christen even more anxious to be living with someone so intimidating. “Stop messing with her things,” she finally tells them, grabbing the photo out of Tyler’s hand and placing it carefully back on the dresser. 

“Haven’t you played with her before?” Channing asks as she starts to unpack one of Christen’s boxes. 

“Yeah,” Christen answers simply, unpacking a box of her own. “She’s from the same area so we played together a couple of times and in some camps,” she shrugs. She had played with the girl a few times in the past, but she’d never really talked to her outside of game tactics. The woman probably doesn’t even remember her. “She honestly never seemed to like me much,” she says with a frown on her face. 

“That’s just because you were better than her,” Tyler says with a wink. 

Christen just rolls her eyes at her sister. “Yeah sure, that’s why she is on the National team already and has a World Cup trophy,” Christen says sarcastically. 

Tyler just shrugs and keeps going through Christen’s things, helping put some stuff up on the dresser on her side of the room. However, Christen watches her just put things wherever she wants, a bit haphazardly, and it makes Christen cringe. She tries to ignore it and continue unpacking another box, because she knows that she can rearrange everything once they leave.

But she can’t help it.

“Let me do it,” She says, moving over to the dresser quickly and rearranging everything and placing them where she likes. 

Tyler just moves back over to the bed and starts unpacking another box, knowing not to say anything to her younger sister. Christen has always been pretty OCD about her things and Tyler learned a while ago to just let her do it and not make any comments about it. Especially right now when she knows how anxious Christen already is. 

“Honestly guys, I can set everything up myself. I appreciate you helping me to carry it all up here,” she says softly with a smile. 

“We’re here to help baby,” her mother tells her softly, placing an arm around her middle child, pulling her into a hug. She is already starting to tear up at the thought of leaving Christen behind, hours away from their home. Thankfully Tyler had gone to school close to home and still lives with them, and Channing was still in high school. It’ll be the first time she has to see a kid leave the nest. 

“I appreciate that, but I can organize everything later. Maybe we can just go get something to eat or tour the campus a bit?” She asks. She loves them and she knows that they are trying to help, but she likes everything put away in a certain way. And honestly watching them just haphazardly put things away was giving her more anxiety than she already had. She just wants to spend some time with her family before she has to see them go.

“Sure, we can do that,” her mother replies with a smile. She kisses her cheek and then walks over to the bed, grabbing her purse. “Look up some places in Portland to go have lunch and we can check it out. After we get some food in us we can walk around campus,” she says, setting the plan. 

Cody just nods and gives her daughter a hug as well. “We will stay with you as long as you want us today,” he says, knowing this is going to be hard on his daughter. And frankly, it’ll be just as hard for him, if not harder. 

“Thanks,” she says quietly, before pulling her phone out to look up restaurants that are near campus. 

—-

They spend most of the day, walking around Portland and then the campus, letting Christen get acquainted with it. She passes quite a few restaurants and cafes to check out during her time here and she’s pretty excited about it. She hasn’t seen much of Portland, but so far she really thinks that she is going to enjoy being there. 

It may not be LA, but she thinks she could actually enjoy living here.

Once they get back to the dorms, she walks with her family back to the car to say her goodbye’s. Honestly she knew if she took them back upstairs it would just be harder and she’d probably never get them to leave. “Thank you again for spending the day with me,” she tells them as if they had any other plans for the day. 

“Of course, Mo,” her dad says with a big smile. 

“Portland seems pretty awesome,” Channing tells her with a smile, before going in for a hug from her older sister. 

“And I noticed quite a few hotties around here,” Tyler winks, taking her turn to hug Christen. 

Christen, who just rolls her eyes and hugs her sister back. “Is that all you ever think about?” She asks with a smile. Tyler had always been the one to try and push her into dating, but she’d never really wanted to. She’d claimed that she was too focused on soccer, which was true, but also she’d been too shy and nervous to really put herself out there. It didn’t help that she didn’t have much confidence in herself, thinking nobody would really like her anyway. 

“I’m just saying,” Tyler shrugs, kissing her little sister's cheek.

It’s now her mother’s turn to hug her and she already has tears streaming down her face, which makes Christen start crying as well. “I love you so much,” her mother whispers, holding her tight. 

“I love you too,” Christen replies hugging her mom tightly. She reluctantly pulls away from the hug, tears starting to fall from her eyes.

“Please try and have some fun and make some friends,” her mom tells her, giving her a serious look. Honestly, Christen had always had a hard time making friends during grade school and high school. They knew she had always been a hard worker and super focused on school and soccer, but they also knew that it had a lot to do with her anxiety and how shy she was. “You need to work hard, but you also need to have some fun. It’s college, enjoy it,” her mom says sternly, caressing Christen’s cheek.

Christen sighs and nods her head. “I will. I promise,” she says, though nobody truly believes it, especially not herself. “Let me know when you make it home, okay?” She says, wiping the tears from her eyes, just for more to fall. 

They all go in for one more hug, before she basically forces them into the car. A part of her almost climbs into the car with them, changing her mind about this whole college thing. Or at least so far away. But honestly this is one of the best schools for education and it is definitely the best school for soccer. 

It’s where she needs to be to make her dreams come true.

She gives them one last wave as they pull out of the parking lot before she takes in a deep breath, trying to get herself together. She looks up at the school for a moment and collects herself enough to walk back into the dorm rooms. 

Making her way back to her room, she glances over at the dorm across the hall but finds the door closed. She ignores the small pang of disappointment she feels, not seeing Tobin once again, because why would she be dissapointed? She doesn’t even know this girl. 

Maybe she is just a little star struck. 

I mean it is Tobin Heath.

She walks back into her room and this time sees Alex sitting on her bed, on her phone. “Hi,” she says shyly, making her way over to her side of the room to finish unpacking all of her boxes. “I’m Christen,” she introduces, deciding to go over and offer her hand out to shake. 

Alex looks up from her phone and gives her a funny look but reaches out shaking her hand. “Alex,” the girl returns. “We’ve met before,” she says as if it were obvious. 

Christen just nods, a bit embarrassed. “Sorry, I wasn’t sure if you’d remember,” she says honestly. “I just wanted to be polite.”

Alex just nods and goes back to her phone, not saying anything else. 

Christen chews on her bottom lip debating on if she should continue talking to her but decides against it. She just goes back to her things and starts unpacking and organizing everything. 

—-

Alex walks across the hall after a few minutes of awkward silence between the two roommates. She goes into Tobin and Ashlyn’s room without knocking and just throws herself on Tobin’s bed.

Tobin just looks up from her Nintendo switch briefly, before going right back to her game, not giving Alex another look or commenting about her just barging into the room. They’ve spent enough time together now that it’s really not a big deal. Most of the girls on the team weren’t very good at privacy nor did they really expect it. They all just kind of come and go through each other’s rooms as they please. Most of the time the doors are even kept open, considering the whole team is in the same wing.

“Your new roommate is hot,” Ashlyn comments from her side of the room, where she is making up her bed. “We saw her when she first got here.”

Alex just laughs. “She is definitely pretty,” Alex agrees with a nod. “But she’s pretty awkward and super uptight,” she informs them. “We played together a few times when we were younger.” She explains. “Plus, you have a girlfriend,” she says, looking back to Ashlyn. 

Ashlyn smiles and shrugs her shoulders. “And I love Ali, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have eyes,” she says with a smirk. “Believe me, Ali would say she’s hot too,” she laughs. “And anyway, I meant for Tobin,” she explains, making said girl’s head jerk up from her game, giving them her attention. 

“What do you mean for Tobin?” She asks, raising a brow. “For one, I don’t need any help finding girls,” she says, a bit offended. “And two, she is on the soccer team and you know there is a rule about that.” She reminds them. 

Ashlyn just shrugs. “Me and Ali are on the team.” 

“Yeah well, you guys have been together since before you were born,” Tobin exaggerates. “It’s different. And I have no intention on being in a relationship so just hooking up with another teammate is probably not smart. It just sounds like drama.” 

Alex nods her head, agreeing. “Yes, please do not start any drama with girls on the team or break their hearts,” she says, knowing that Tobin has a bad reputation of that. “Plus, she is my roommate and I don’t need the stress of another heartbroken girl at the hands of Tobin Heath,” she adds. 

Tobin glares at her, but doesn’t comment. Even she, knows she sort of has a reputation. Not that she has ever intentionally broken a girl’s heart. She has always been pretty upfront about what she wants. The girls just don’t seem to take it well in the end.

“Is she pretty good? At soccer?” Ashlyn asks curiously, wanting to know about one of their new teammates. There are quite a few of them that had already been on the team together for at least a year and some who were in their junior and senior year. It was always interesting to see the newbies joining the team. 

“Yeah, she is really good actually,” Alex admits. “I’m pretty sure it’s only a matter of time before she is on the national team. Though, she was always pretty hard on herself and it could affect the way she played sometimes. She was wound pretty tight,” she says, thinking back to the times they had played together. “Honestly, I was watching her unpack and she was lining everything up perfectly, like moving things around even half a centimeter. She just needs to relax a bit,” She adds with a small groan. She’s worried that her roommates OCD behavior may bring her a bit of stress this semester. 

“Yeah well, it’s better than living with a slob,” Ashlyn says, throwing one of Tobin’s shirts across the room that had somehow ended up on her side. 

“I am not a slob,” Tobin retorts, offended, as she catches the T-shirt before it can hit her face. 

Alex just laughs. “Toby, I’ve roomed with you during camps, you are a bit messy,” she informs her. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes and slouches down into her chair, “Don’t call me Toby,” she grumbles, returning to her game, even though she knows it’s pointless. 

A minute later there is a knock on the door and Ali walks in with a smile on her face. “Hey!” She greets them cheerfully. She walks over to Ashlyn and gives her a kiss before lying on Ashlyn’s newly made bed. The blonde frowns at her, but doesn’t comment, just letting her girlfriend wrinkle her fresh sheets. 

“How is your roommate?” Ashlyn asks, nudging the girl to scoot over so she can lie next to her.

“She’s great! Her name is Julie and she seems super nice,” Ali informs them. “Her boyfriend plays for the football team and apparently is supposed to be the team's new star or something,” she says offhandedly, not really following American football. “But he was in the room with her and they were pretty cute together. They look like your typical prom queen and king,” she says with a small laugh. 

“Can we go get some lunch?” Tobin asks from across the room, placing her Nintendo down on her desk “I’m starving from all this moving,” she comments. 

The girls just smirk at her. “You haven’t even unpacked anything,” Alex points out, eying the boxes untouched on Tobin’s side. 

Tobin just shrugs. “It’s not like I have much,” she mumbles, fixing the SnapBack on her head and standing up. “Let’s go to the cafe in the student union.” She offers, knowing they aren’t going to want to go too far being late, and they still have things to unpack. 

“Alex, maybe you should invite Christen?” Ashlyn offers as they all gather their things to leave. 

Alex glances across the hall where their door is still open and sees Christen meticulously placing things on her desk. “She seems busy,” Alex shrugs, not really wanting to go and invite her. 

The girls frown at her, but don’t push her into it. They all look across the hallway and see Christen looking pretty focused on what she is doing and agree not to interrupt her.

And maybe Tobin stares at her a little too long, watching as she cutely lines up everything on her desk so perfectly. Concentration evident on her face as she does so. She does seem a bit OCD, but somehow Christen makes it look endearing. 

She gets pulled from her thoughts when she hears Ashlyn calling for her and notices they are already halfway down the hallway. She quickly averts her eyes away from Christen and follows behind them.

—-

Christen lets out a small content sigh as she takes a look around her room, satisfied with her work. She’d managed to get everything unpacked and placed where and how she likes it. It’s a bit of a small space and she’s not really sure how sharing the space with another person is going to go, but she knows she doesn’t have much of a choice. She just hopes her and Alex can at least get along enough to live together for the next year. 

She looks back to her desk and spots a photo of her and her family, including her dogs and lets out another sigh, this time one that is a little sad. 

It’s only been a few hours since she’d been away from home and a couple of hours since she’d seen her family but she honestly already feels herself missing them. Her family had always been really close. Her sisters are her best friends, and even her parents are as well. They’d always been able to talk about everything and be completely open with each other, without fear of them getting mad or judging her for anything. It’s the only thing that has gotten her through the difficult years of middle school and high school.

Being away from them is going to be a very big adjustment. 

She glances down at her phone and sees that her mother had text her a bit ago, letting her know that they had made it home. She sends a quick text back telling her she loves everyone and then places her phone back down on her desk. 

She decides she should probably go and grab something to eat before the cafe or the cafeteria on campus close and she’s stuck eating just her protein bars for dinner. She grabs her bag and her phone and makes her way out, locking the door behind her and hoping that Alex had taken her key with her, wherever she had gone. 

When she reaches the cafe she spots Alex at a table with Tobin and some other girls that she is sure are on the team with them. She makes her way up to the counter and grabs a quick deli sandwich and some fruit, paying before turning around and looking around the cafe again.

Her eyes fall on her teammates and she debates on sitting with them, but her anxiety gets the best of her and she doesn’t really want to go and intrude on them. They obviously all know each other already and seem to be in some sort of conversation and she doesn’t want to interrupt and make a bunch of awkward introductions. They probably don’t care to sit with the new girl on the team anyway. 

She finds an unoccupied table and sits down, before carefully unwrapping her sandwich and taking a small bite. It’s definitely not the best sandwich she’d ever had, but it’ll do. Plus it was cheap and easily accessible on campus. 

She pulls a book out of her bag and starts to read as she quietly munches on her sandwich, content to eat her dinner alone. Honestly, she was pretty used to eating alone. She had always done it in high school, or she sat with her one friend Fran, but even she would sit with some other girls she knew most of the time. But Christen had preferred to sit alone. Being around a bunch of other people always made her anxiety go up. 

Across the way, Tobin notices when Christen walks into the cafe, looking a bit timid. She lets her eyes follow the girl as she moves through the line and then goes to sit down at a table by herself. She had half expected her to come and sit with them, but maybe she just preferred to be alone. 

“It’s your hot roommate!” Ashlyn shouts, pointing over at the girl who, thankfully doesn’t hear her. Or at least she gives no indication that she had.

Ali gives her girlfriend a glare and Ashlyn just gives her an innocent smile before leaning over and kissing Ali’s cheek. “Should we invite her over here?” Ali asks, glancing up at the girl. “She looks so lonely.” She points out. 

“I don’t know, she didn’t seem very talkative earlier,” Alex shrugs. “Maybe she would just prefer to sit and read. She could have come over here if she wanted to,” she points out. 

Tobin looks back over at the girl just as Christen looks up from her book, making eye contact with her. Christen quickly looks back down, seeming a bit flustered and it makes Tobin grin.

“I don’t know, maybe we should just leave her alone,” Megan speaks up from her spot next to Tobin. “She is definitely hot though,” she smirks, grinning at Ashlyn who smiles back at her, nodding her head.

Ali and Alex both roll their eyes at their friends and Tobin smirks, agreeing with them, but choosing not to comment on it. She doesn’t need to add any fuel to the fire when it comes to her friends and her romantic life. Or at least her sex life, since there isn’t much romance involved in it.

“How about both of you guys just stick to staring at your own hot girlfriends,” Alex tells them with a stern look. 

“Sue would say she’s hot too,” Pinoe smirks. “We all have eyes,” she says, repeating Ashlyn’s same words from earlier. 

“She is pretty hot,” Ali finally says, making everyone laugh. Ashlyn even gives her girlfriend a little fist bump. “Tobin, maybe you should go and talk to her,” she then adds, looking at the girl who had been pretty quiet through the whole conversation. 

Tobin shakes her head and gives them an exasperated look. “I am not hooking up with a teammate,” she says, and they all raise a brow at her. “Again,” she mumbles, looking down at her slice of pizza and taking a bite of it, making the others laugh. 

“That is probably a good idea. That did not turn out well,” Ali agrees with a nod, taking back her previous comment.

“Didn’t she transfer schools or something?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

“Yes, but that was not because of me,” Tobin says rolling her eyes. 

“Sure,” Pinoe says, nudging Tobin. She’s clearly just messing with her, but it still slightly annoys her.

They thankfully change the subject pretty quickly, being easily distracted and Tobin is happy to have the conversation off of her. She glances back over at Christen who is again looking at her. Tobin sends her a smirk, raising a brow at the curly haired girl. Christen’s eyes widen and she quickly looks away once again, looking even more flustered than the first time. 

Tobin just chuckles to herself, looking away from her adorable new teammate and trying to focus on what her friends are talking about. Though it’s kind of hard to keep track, with all of them talking at once and over each other. It always gets like this when they are in a group, most of them being pretty outspoken and loud. Tobin normally just sits back and lets them do most of the talking.

Though the conversation gets interrupted when they hear a bit of yelling and a crashing sound. They all look over at the commotion and see some guys from the football team that had been throwing a ball around. One of them had crashed into the table that Christen was sitting at, making her juice tumble over all over her sandwich. 

The guys are just laughing and casually offering to help her, though they don’t seem to care too much because they can’t keep from laughing at each other. 

Christen on the other hand looks like she is almost in tears as she quickly tries to clean up the mess with the small paper towels that she had. The guys are trying to talk to her, but Christen is trying really hard to ignore them, looking more and more uncomfortable by the second.

Without even thinking, Tobin hops up out of her seat and walks over to them. “Get out of here,” she just about growls at them, and gives them a glare.

One of the guys at least manages to look a bit apologetic before being pulled away by one of his football buddies. 

Tobin grabs a few more napkins and makes her way back over to Christen. “You okay?” She asks, putting the napkins down and attempting to help wipe up the mess. Though Christen subtly pushes her hand away and continues to clean it up herself. “Those guys are assholes,” Tobin comments, “You know football players,” she says rolling her eyes and trying to get a smile out of the girl, but she still doesn’t look up. 

Tobin sits down across from her and watches her clean up, and notices that she can feel the nerves and the frustration radiating off of the other girl. It makes her feel bad for her and honestly she just wants to wrap her up in a big hug. But touching her would probably just make things worse right now. 

“Here, I’ll toss these,” Tobin offers, reaching out to take the soaked napkins. 

“Thanks,” Christen finally says so softly that Tobin almost misses it. She looks up at Tobin for the first time and Tobin is a bit caught off guard at how green and how pretty her eyes are. It flusters her for a moment, but she quickly recovers and gives her a big grin, hoping to make her feel better. It helps a little because Christen offers her a small smile in return, but she still looks like she could burst into tears at any moment. 

“You can come sit with us if you want,” Tobin offers, still smiling at the girl. 

Christen glances back at the table full of girls who are watching them pretty intently and it just makes her more nervous and she quickly looks away from them. “I’m just going to go back to my room,” she says quietly, putting her book back in her bag. 

“Well, can I get you another sandwich or something?” Tobin offers with a frown, realizing that Christen hadn’t even gotten to eat half of it before it was soaked in the green juice that Christen was drinking. 

“No, thanks,” Christen says before getting up and quickly making her way out of the cafe without even another glance at Tobin. 

“I’m Tobin by the way,” Tobin shouts after her, before sighing to herself. She gets up and heads back over to her table to see the girls all smirking at her. 

“Way to be her knight and shining armor,” Pinoe comments with a grin. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes and takes a swig of her water. “I hate football players,” she mumbles, still mad at the whole situation. She feels bad for Christen who had seemed pretty shaken over the whole ordeal. 

“Should we go and check on her?” Ali asks, always being the caretaker of the group. 

“I offered her to come and sit with us but she said she just wanted to go to the room, and she didn’t seem like she really wanted my help,” Tobin shrugs. “I doubt she wants us all to go and bother her.” 

“She’s a big girl,” Alex adds. “I’m sure she is fine.”

Ali frowns at her friends and almost considers going to check on her anyway, but decides they are probably right. She looks over at Tobin who is now just staring down at her pizza, picking at the toppings and can tell she still seems to be thinking about the ordeal as well. 

However, she doesn’t comment on it and just turns back to her girlfriend who is in a pretty heated argument with Pinoe over some stupid shoes.

—-

Later that night, Tobin is walking back to her room, her whistling echoing through the empty hallway. She notices Christen and Alex’s door open so she casually peaks inside. She sees no sign that Alex had returned and just spots Christen curled up on her bed reading the book she had with her in the cafe. 

She bites down on her lip, contemplating if she should speak to her or just leave her alone and go to her room. For some reason she feels a pull towards Christen and can’t just leave things alone. So she knocks on the opened door softly making Christen’s head pop up. 

When their eyes meet, Tobin gives her a smile and steps inside the room just a few steps. “Hey, I was coming back to my room and I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Tobin rambles, scratching the back of her neck, suddenly feeling a bit awkward and kind of nervous. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea. 

Christen just kind of stares at her and it makes Tobin even more awkward. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you or anything, I-

“I’m okay,” Christen finally says softly, interrupting Tobin before she can continue to ramble. “Thanks for helping me,” she adds, giving her a small smile. 

Tobin just shrugs and takes a few more steps into the room. “It’s no big,” she says casually. “Is that your dinner?” She asks pointing to a granola bar laying next to Christen on the bed. 

Christen just nods her head slowly. “I had a pretty big lunch with my family earlier so I wasn’t that hungry anyway,” she shrugs, even though it’s a bit of a lie. She had honestly just wanted to get out of there, feeling too embarrassed and anxious to wait in line for some more food. 

Tobin nods and sits down on the foot of Christen’s bed. “I’m Tobin, by the way,” she introduces. 

Christen puts her book down beside her and smiles at the girl. “I know,” she says and Tobin looks a bit caught off guard by the answer. “Sorry, I uh... I follow the national team and you’re... you’re really good,” she says, feeling a bit embarrassed now. 

“Thank you,” Tobin says with a soft chuckle and a small blush. She’s still not really used to people complimenting her or knowing who she is from soccer. She’s never really looked at herself as some big star or anything. 

“I’m Christen Press,” she finally says, sitting up a bit straighter. She extends her hand out in front of her to shake Tobin’s hand.

Tobin looks amused and reaches out shaking her hand. “Nice to meet you, Christen Press,” she grins. “So, I hear from Alex that you are really good. I can’t wait to see what you can do,” she says and pulls her hand away from Christen, realizing she had been holding her hand for a bit too long.

Christen blushes and looks away from Tobin, shrugging her shoulders. “I’m okay,” she says modestly. “I mean, I haven’t won a World Cup or anything,” she then adds, looking back up at the girl. 

Tobin just laughs and nods her head. “Yeah, well I’m sure you will before you know it.” 

“You haven’t even seen me play.” Christen points out.

Tobin shrugs a shoulder. “If Alex is admitting to someone else being good, then they probably are,” she says with a smirk. “Alex hates admitting when someone may be better than her,” she adds. 

“Oh, I’m not better than Alex,” Christen says quickly, shaking her head. 

“I guess we will see,” Tobin says, standing up off the bed. “A couple of the girls are going to come over and watch a movie, you want to join?” Tobin offers, a bit hopefully. 

Christen considers it for a moment because she told her parents that she would make an effort to make some friends while she was away. But honestly, she’s had a long and stressful day and hanging out with a bunch of girls she doesn’t know doesn’t sound that appealing. “Thank you, but I’m just going to read some more and get to bed,” she says quietly. 

Tobin frowns at the answer, but decides not to be too pushy. “Okay, well if you want to join you are more than welcome,” she tells her, heading for the door. “See you around, Christen Press,” she smiles before heading back to her own room. 

—-

Alex comes back into the room a few minutes after Tobin leaves and glances over at her roommate who is curled up in bed with her book. She leaves her be for the moment and changes into some more comfortable clothes to go and hang out with her friends.

Just as she is about to head out, she feels a bit guilty for just leaving Christen, especially after what went down in the cafe. “Hey, I’m going across the hall for a movie night, you want to join?” She asks politely. 

Christen looks up, a bit shocked that Alex was inviting her to hang out with them. “Oh, Tobin invited me as well, but I’m just going to finish this chapter and get to bed,” she replies, giving the girl a polite smile in return. 

“What are you reading?” Alex asks curiously. 

“It’s just a book on the reading list for class, it’s not very good,” Christen admits. 

Alex lets out a laugh and raises a brow, “Classes don’t even start for another week,” she states. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders, getting a bit uncomfortable. “I know.” She says quietly. “I just like to be ahead,” she shrugs, just waiting on Alex to make fun of her. This was one of the reasons she never really had any friends in grade school. Everyone just bullied her and called her a nerd. 

But Alex just nods her head. “Okay. Well, if you change your mind, you know where we will be,” she says simply before heading out the door. 

Christen watches her walk out and chews on her bottom lip. She sighs to herself and sets her book down beside her, not really in the mood to read anymore. She honestly wishes that she could just get up and go over to Tobin’s room and hang out with the other teammates and not be so anxious about it. She wishes she could be more outgoing and care free and just have fun. It’s just not the way she is wired. She overthinks everything, constantly. 

She picks up her phone and decides to call her parents, hoping they can make her feel a little bit better. 

And she’s right, because as soon as she sees her mom’s smiling face, she can’t help but smile as well. “Hi, mom,” she greets happily. 

“You can’t already miss us this much,” she hears her Dad’s voice say before he appears in the frame next to her mom. 

Christen just laughs. “I don’t. I miss my babies,” she says with a giggle. 

Her dad chuckles and rolls his eyes but takes the phone, turning it so their two dogs are on the screen. “Look who it is, girls!” He shouts, making them look up at him, tilting their heads to the side. 

Christen just smiles widely and lets out a little squeal. “Oh you girls are so cute. I miss you so much,” she says in the little baby voice she uses when she talks to them. 

But after a moment her mom steals the phone back and looks at Christen with a smile. “Are you okay? Are you making friends, yet? How is your roommate?” She starts firing off questions before Christen can even get a chance to answer. 

“I’m fine mom,” she says with a sigh. 

“Have you done anything fun yet?” She asks, though she knows that Christen has only been there for a few hours on her own. She’s just so excited for Christen to be off at college and excited for the possibility of her making some friends and finally letting loose a bit. 

“Umm,” Christen starts nervously but gets interrupted by loud laughing from across the hall. She glances up at the door and sees a few girls in Tobin and Ashlyn’s room all laughing together and having a good time. She makes eye contact with Tobin who had been laughing at something and is now just smiling at Christen. Christen can’t help but smile back at her, before remembering she was talking to her mom and quickly looks back down at her phone. “Um yeah, actually,” she says, nodding her head. “Some girls from the team invited me over for a movie night.” She informs her. 

“Oh, that is so great!” Her mom replies happily. “Look at you already making friends!”

Christen just smiles at her glad to see her mother so happy. “Yeah so, I should probably get going. I just wanted to say hi and see my girls.” She tells her. 

Both of her parents say their goodbyes to her and let her see the dogs one more time, before hanging up. 

Tossing her phone on her bed, Christen looks back up at the girls across the hallway that still seem to be laughing and having a good time. She chews on her lip as she watches them for a moment debating on what to do. 

She gets up from her bed and heads for the door. She spots Tobin looking over at her again, and waving at her, obviously looking excited that she is going to join them. But, Christen just gives her a soft smile and a small wave in return, before shutting the door quietly and blocking out the noise.

Maybe eventually she won’t have to lie to her mom about doing things with her teammates and possibly making friends. But tonight is not that night. 

—-

Tobin tries to ignore the pang of dissapoinment she feels when she sees Christen shutting the door to her room and not coming over with them. She had turned down the invitation so Tobin should have known she wasn’t going to come over, but Tobin couldn’t help but get her hopes up a bit.

Which, she doesn’t even know why because she doesn’t know this girl and she has plenty of her friends there with her. There is just something about the green eyed girl that drew Tobin in. And she couldn’t lie and say her friends were wrong about her being hot. But it is more than that. She obviously is pretty shy and prefers to keep to herself. Tobin wasn’t used to that. Normally girls seem to take to Tobin pretty quickly. She isn’t one to brag, but girls seem to always want some of Tobin’s attention. But not this girl. 

And maybe that’s what this was. It was like a challenge. And Tobin has always enjoyed a good challenge. 

Tobin gets pulled out of the rabbit hole she was dragging herself down when some more girls walk into their room. It’s Ali and some blonde girl following behind her, who Tobin assumes is her roommate Julie. And Ali had been right, this girl looked like your typical prom queen stereotype. She was gorgeous. 

“Guys, this is Julie,” Ali introduces, confirming Tobin’s suspicions. 

Kelley comes in not too much later and throws herself on Tobin’s bed making the girl bounce a bit. She just glares at her friend, who in return smiles innocently at her, making Tobin just roll her eyes and smile back. This girl was a bit chaotic, but honestly Tobin loves her to death. 

“Where is your new roommate, Alex? I hear she’s hot,” Kelley says with a shit eating grin, wiggling her eyebrows. 

Tobin rolls her eyes at her friend, shaking her head, but can’t help smile. “She is hot,” Tobin confirms. “I invited her over, but she said no,” she shrugs, acting a lot more chill about the rejection than she actually feels. 

“She started reading a book for class, even though it doesn’t start for almost another week.” Alex says. “Apparently she wants to get an early start,” she shrugs. 

Kelley makes a face. “Nerd,” she says jokingly. “Maybe we should go and drag her out of her room and make her hang out with us,” she suggests. 

“Or we could just leave her alone,” Tobin suggests. 

“No fun,” Kelley says, giving her a thumbs down. “I want to meet her! I can’t believe you guys didn’t invite me to dinner,” she says glaring at her friends. “I want to see if she’s as hot as everyone says.” She says, grinning again. 

“Keep it in your pants,” Alex says what Tobin had been thinking. “She’s probably straight, for one,” she says, and this makes Tobin frown.

Not that she cares if Christen is straight or not. Because she doesn’t. 

“And anyway we have a rule, Kelley. No teammates,” she reminds the over eager girl. 

“She also seems like she scares easy so she probably wouldn’t like you anyway,” Pinoe says with a smile, making the others laugh. 

Kelley just laughs sarcastically and shoves Tobin, since she is the only friend she can reach. “I can still look, can’t I?” She asks innocently. 

“Can we just start this movie?” Tobin asks, trying to gain everyone’s attention once again and get them to stop talking about the girl across the room that she can’t seem to stop thinking about. 

“Fine, mom,” Kelley says with a groan. “But, I say we need to plan a get together and have all the teammates come so we can meet all the newbies. Plus, I might have missed some of you guys during the summer break.” She says. 

Everyone just lets out a bunch of cooing sounds and dog piles on top of Kelley as she tries but fails to push them away from her. 

“I take it all back. I hate all of you,” she groans from underneath the pile.

“You love us,” Pinoe points out as none of them make any attempt to get off of each other.

—-


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you so much for the comments! I'm glad that you are enjoying the start of this story! I was pretty nervous to get this posted so I'm happy that I had some positive feedback. 
> 
> Also I reread this a second time and made some minor changes and then realized before I posted it that google docs didn't save all the changes.. SO, do feel free to tell me if there are any horrible mistakes. I really didn't want to read through it a third time. Call me lazy lol
> 
> Anyway, enjoy...

They have their first team practice and Christen is a bundle of nerves heading into it. Of course she knows that she is good at soccer, or at least she has to have some skill to be able to make this team and get into this program. Plus she has won all kinds of trophies and medals in the past decade and is constantly getting told how great she is. 

She knows in her head that she is good because there is proof of that, but her anxiety just takes over all of her thoughts and constantly tells her that she isn’t good enough. That she shouldn’t be here.

And today she is stepping on the pitch with some of America’s greatest players at her age. She was practically vibrating with nerves throughout the walk to the locker room, changing into her gear and getting out to the field. Most of the other girls were chatting about how excited they were for the new season and dancing around to music as they got ready. However, Christen just sat in front of her locker quietly, trying to pump herself up and force the nerves out of her system. Gripping tightly onto the mala beads around her neck trying to conjure up some good vibes.

It hadn’t done much as she was still shaking as they walked out onto the pitch, everyone getting the introductions out of the way and the coaches giving them some speeches on the new season and then telling them what they were going to be doing at practice today. She tries her best to force out the anxiety and focus on what her coaches were telling them, but she just can’t seem to shake it. It’s like she almost blacks out, barely even hearing what the coaches were saying to them or their speeches about the upcoming season. 

However, as soon as she stepped onto that pitch, it was as if the nerves just floated out of her body. Soccer has always been her passion and being on the pitch had always had a calming effect on her without even having to try. Everything else just disappeared as soon as she felt that ball connect with her foot. It’s the only time that she has ever felt truly relaxed and not just taken over by anxiety.

But everything hit her all at once again as soon as she got back into the locker room after practice. She did well, her coaches and teammates telling her as much, but she still didn’t feel as though she proved herself as well as she had wanted to. She could feel that seed of doubt seeping into her brain once again, telling her she wasn’t enough and that she wasn’t good enough to play on this team, with these amazing players.

She frowns, trying to push the thoughts out of her head and tries to keep the tears at bay not wanting to cry in front of her new teammates. It was something that happened since she was young. Even after playing an amazing game she’d go home and cry her eyes out, criticizing herself on everything she did wrong and everything she needed to improve on. 

She starts to slowly and meticulously take her shoes and everything off, placing them neatly next to her. She’s trying hard to block out all the chatter and loud music coming from her fellow teammates as they all joke around and dance. She just focuses on her breathing and getting changed so she can go back to her room. 

Tobin is across the room drinking her shake and just laughing at her fellow teammates. Kelley, Emily, Mal and Lindsey were trying to recreate some video that they had seen online and honestly they were not doing a very good job at it. But it was pretty hilarious watching them. 

Kelley was always up to something and it seems like some of the new teammates were going to be exactly like her. It makes Tobin smile because she’s glad that Kelley has some girls to let loose with but good god, now there are 4 of them. At least team get together’s will never be boring.

She glances over at Christen who has been very quiet all afternoon. She hadn’t really spoken to anyone outside of game tactics during their practice. Tobin knows that most of the girls on the team can be a lot to handle sometimes and she feels a little bad for the obviously timid girl. 

But right now Christen has a big frown on her face and looks like something is bothering her. She almost looks like she’s about to start crying which confuses Tobin. She’d seemed so happy out on the field just a few minutes prior. 

Without thinking, Tobin gets up and sits down next to her, watching for a moment as she neatly folds her socks and stacks them with her shin guards and places everything in order. 

“You were wrong,” Tobin says simply. 

Christen jumps a bit, having been so in her head that she hadn’t even noticed Tobin sit down next to her. She glances over at the girl, just frowning deeper. “About what?” She asks confused. Tobin just leans back, looking more relaxed than ever and it makes Christen a bit jealous. She looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world, and Christen wonders what that is like.

“You are definitely good enough to make the national team,” she informs her with a smile. “You may even be better than Alex,” she winks, nudging the girl with her arm. “But, don’t tell her I said that,” she adds, still smiling. 

Christen doesn’t smile though, still being too hard on herself to really believe what Tobin is telling her. “It was one practice, there is no way that you could come to that conclusion,” she tells her honestly. 

Tobin shrugs her shoulders, not letting Christen deter her. “Are you questioning my judgement?” She asks, with a dramatic gasp, acting offended, still just trying to make Christen smile. 

Christen shakes her head. “Sorry,” she says simply. “It’s just not true.” 

Tobin just watches her, her smile turning into a frown as Christen still seems pretty upset and like she really doesn’t want Tobin talking to her. “Are you okay?” Tobin finally asks, sensing that she wasn’t going to change Christen’s mood with light banter.

“I’m fine,” Christen replies quietly, but Tobin doesn’t believe it. 

“Okay...” Tobin trails off, not really wanting to push the subject and upset Christen even more. “Well, you really did do amazing out there. I’m excited to play with you,” she says honestly. 

“Thank you,” Christen says softly, a small smile finally appearing on her face. 

Tobin takes it as a win. 

“Missed you at movie night last night,” Tobin then says, deciding to change the subject. 

Christen looks up at her, her brows wrinkled in confusion at the comment and it makes Tobin feel a little dumb. Why would she miss her? She doesn’t even know Christen. Yeah, that was definitely weird to say. 

“I mean... a lot of the team was there and it was cool to meet some of the new players and get to know each other a bit,” Tobin adds, rambling at bit and hoping to make it seem a little less weird. God, she’s never been this nervous around a girl before. She’s never second guessed herself. 

“Sorry, I just really wanted to get a head start on some school work,” Christen informs her with a small shrug as she starts gathering her clean clothes to change into, not paying Tobin any attention. 

Tobin is a bit put off by the fact that Christen barely seems to acknowledge her presence and normally Tobin wouldn’t give a girl the time of day if she treated her this way. However, Tobin keeps talking to Christen. She can’t seem to stop. “It’s okay.” Tobin tells her with a soft smile. “But, Kelley is making everyone go out tonight and the whole team is supposed to be coming so you should definitely come with us,” Tobin informs her. “It’s some bar just down the street from campus. Apparently they don’t really ID anyone,” Tobin shrugs. 

“I don’t drink,” Christen answers simply. 

“Well not everyone drinks,” Tobin answers. “It’s just a good way for some team bonding and all of that. It’ll be fun,” she says, sounding a bit hopeful, but Christen still doesn’t look very interested. She just pulls a small notebook out of her bag and looks at her Apple Watch before writing some notes down.

Tobin knows she should take the hint and leave Christen alone, but she can’t do that for some reason. Again, she just keeps talking. 

“Kelley is going to come and drag you out of your room if you don’t agree to come,” she says with a small chuckle. “You should just do it voluntarily.” She says, knowing exactly what Kelley is going to end up doing.

Christen shifts a bit uncomfortably at the information. She really doesn’t like the idea of going to some bar with lots of drunk people. And she doesn’t like the idea of being forced to go either. Though she knows that she probably should spend some time with the team. “I’ll see how much work I get done when I get back,” she says with a frown. 

“Okay,” Tobin nods, taking the answer, figuring it’s the best she is going to get. “I was joking about Kelley dragging you out. Though, she will definitely come and bother you for a bit if you don’t agree,” she says, realizing Christen had looked a little freaked at her words. 

Just as Christen is going to answer her, Kelley stands up on the bench and makes an announcement about the whole team going out and how everyone has to come. Christen glances over at Tobin who just smirks at her as they listen to Kelley tell everyone it is not an option and she will personally drag anyone out of their room who doesn’t come.

“Told you,” Tobin says with a grin. 

“I’ll think about it,” Christen says, still not agreeing to go and Tobin isn’t going to try and force her. She places her notebook into her bag and then stands up off the bench. “I’m going to shower,” She says before grabbing her things out of her locker and heading off to the showers, not giving Tobin another glance.

Tobin just watches her leave feeling a bit unsettled over the whole interaction. She wants to talk to her again and try and make her feel better or even just figure out what seemed to be bothering her so much and how she can help. She doesn’t even know this girl but she already knows that seeing her upset is one of the worst feelings she has ever had. 

She just wants to see her smiling again. 

—

Tobin is walking alongside Kelley and Allie as they head back down to their dorm rooms. Kelley is just as hyper as ever as she talks animatedly to them about how excited she is to be going out with everyone tonight. Honestly even Tobin is pretty excited to be going out. She’s not a huge partier but she does like to go out with her friends and have a good time and it’s been a long time since they had all been together. 

“I’m just saying, if I can’t hook up with anyone on the team, then I have to go out and find someone,” Tobin hears Kelley say, pulling her from her thoughts. She smirks over at Allie who rolls her eyes. “Tonight is the perfect opportunity. Do you know how many hot new girls are probably going to be out? It’s a whole new year!” She exclaims.

Tobin just chuckles at her. “Because you already went through the whole school last year?” She asks sarcastically. 

“That would be you, Tobs,” Allie corrects with a smirk. 

Kelley looks between them and pouts. “I can get just as many girls as Tobin can,” she comments, folding her arms over her chest. 

Tobin smiles at her and doesn’t say anything but Allie just about falls over laughing at the comment, making Kelley shove her. 

“Sure you can,” Tobin finally says, patting Kelley on the head like she’s talking to a child. Kelley pouts even harder, glaring at her two friends as they just start cracking up.

When they get to their rooms, they notice Christen and Alex’s door open and Tobin sees the wide grin on Kelley’s face at the apparent invitation that means she can go into the room. Tobin almost stops her but doesn’t because she’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to see Christen again. She watches Kelley at last knock on the open door before stepping in. 

Christen looks up at the girls a little alarmed and Tobin gives her an apologetic look. 

“Pretty Pressi!” Kelley calls her, making Christen blush at the nickname. “You are coming out with us tonight, right?” She asks with excitement. 

Christen closes the notebook that she had been writing in and gives them a frown. “I don’t think so,” she says honestly. “I don’t really like clubs or bars or anything like that,” she shrugs.

Kelley frowns and walks deeper into the room with Allie and Tobin following behind her. “You have to come! It’ll be so much fun and we all want to get to know you!” She says, bouncing onto the foot of Christen’s bed 

Christen looks a bit uncomfortable at Kelley just making herself at home in her room, but she doesn’t comment on it. “Maybe,” she says, giving them just a little bit of hope. I still have some reading to do.” She says, pointing to the book lying next to her. 

“Come on, classes don’t start for almost a week! You need to have some fun and relax before the real stress hits,” Kelley tries to reason with her.

“She’s not going to give up,” Allie tells Christen, a small smirk on her face. 

“Guys, she said maybe,” Tobin finally says, stepping more into the room, next to Kelley. She gives Christen a reassuring smile, trying to ease her anxiety a bit. “Come on, leave her alone,” she adds, pulling on Kelley to get off of her bed. Kelley just pouts and then opens her mouth to say something else, but Tobin stops her. “If you let her work now, she will get everything done quicker so she can come out,” Tobin tries to reason, though she knows that Christen may still not come out with them. She’s just trying to get Kelley off her back. 

“Okay fine,” Kelley concedes with a sigh. “We are leaving around 9 so be ready!” she exclaims before turning to Tobin. “I’m going to rally the rest of the troops,” she tells her before walking out of the dorm room dragging Allie along with her.

Christen looks back at Tobin when the other girls leave, and sees her awkwardly hanging back in the doorway. “I’m sorry about her,” she apologizes, rearranging the snap back on her head. Christen honestly doesn’t know how someone looks so good in one of those things.

“It’s okay,” Christen says honestly. And even if she was upset by the whole ordeal it’s not like it’s Tobin’s fault. Tobin just nods her head, looking a bit awkward and then starts to slowly turn around to go back to her room. Though, somehow Christen finds it in her to call out to the girl. “Tobin, I’m sorry about earlier,” she says, making Tobin turn back around to face her and give her a confused look. 

Christen just sighs and chews on her bottom lip, contemplating on how much to tell Tobin. She really didn’t want to unload all of her anxiety and problems on this girl that she barely knows, but she does feel bad about how short she had been with her earlier. 

“I was just in my head because I didn’t do my best at practice,” she tells her. “I didn’t mean to be rude,” she apologizes. 

Tobin gives her a smile and shrugs her shoulders. “It’s okay,” she says simply, not really feeling like Christen needed to apologize to her. She’d clearly been upset about something and Tobin just kept bugging her. “I really do hope that you come hang out with us tonight,” Tobin says softly, giving Christen a smile. 

Christen can’t help but smile back at her before biting down on her bottom lip, turning a bit shy. “I’ll really think about it, okay?” She asks hoping that it’s enough for now and they won’t keep bothering her. 

Tobin nods her head, taking the answer. “Okay, well I’ll let you get back to studying or whatever you were doing,” she says before giving Christen one last smile and walking across the hall to her own room. 

Christen lets her shoulders relax once the girls are all out of her room and she lets out a breath. Maybe she really should start actually closing her door. Though, the space is so small and it makes her feel a little claustrophobic. But she’s learning these girls really don’t have many rules on privacy.

She opens up her planner and looks at her schedule for the night which is filled with something every 15 minutes. It all just involves reading and getting a head start on some of the course work in the text books she has been given so she can go into class with a bit of knowledge before they even start. She’s pretty sure college is going to be a lot more difficult than high school was and she wants to go in a little prepared. 

She really hates messing with her planned out day, but she also knows that she could maybe afford to take a few hours off tonight and go hang out with the team. They are right when they say that the real stress hasn’t even started yet, and maybe this is the time for her to have some fun. Plus, maybe if she goes out with them tonight they will lay off of her for at least a few days. 

Sighing, she grabs her phone and decides to call her older sister, Tyler to try and ease some of her anxiety. She also just already misses home so much and knows talking to her sister will help her. 

“Chris!” Her sister shouts with a grin as soon as she answers the FaceTime call. “I miss your face!” 

Christen giggles at her sister, giving her a grin, “I miss you too, Ty,” she says affectionately. “How are my girls doing?” She asks, finding that she almost misses her dogs more than she misses her parents and her sisters. Or maybe she does actually miss them more.

“I’m doing great, thank you for asking,” Tyler replies sarcastically. 

Tyler puts the camera on the two dogs that were lying on the couch with her and Christen uses her baby voice to talk to them, holding an actual conversation like they can actually understand what she is saying. And by the way that their tails are wagging and they are tilting their heads looking at the screen, they may just understand her. It just makes Tyler laugh at her, though she finds herself talking to them as well. 

“How are you liking the university and Portland so far?” Tyler asks, turning the camera back over to her, giving her an excited grin. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders. “It’s fine,” she answers honestly. “I mean it’s only been a couple of days so I haven’t really done much.”

“Well mom says you hung out with some teammates last night! How was it?” She asks, wanting to hear all of the details. “Oh my god I can’t believe you are on the same team with Alex Morgan, Megan Rapinoe and Tobin Heath! Oh, what is Tobin like? I bet she is so cool,” She starts shooting off questions, just making Christen’s head spin a bit. 

She can’t help but smile at the thought of Tobin tough. “Tobin is cool,” she agrees simply, trying not to show just how excited she is to be playing with Tobin as well. It’s still a little surreal to be with all of these girls that she had been following on the national team.

“Give me more than that! I’m trying to live vicariously through you!” Tyler says with a chuckle, “How was movie night last night?” 

Christen bites down on her lip, debating on if she should tell Tyler she didn’t actually hang out with them. “It was good,” she lies. Her family had been so adamant on her making friends in college and she doesn’t want to disappoint them. She can see how happy it is making them think that she’s actually making some friends for the first time. “The girls are all really nice so far,” she adds, which isn’t a lie. 

“Hey Mo!” She hears her dad’s voice and then watches as Tyler turns the camera to her smiling father. 

It makes her smile as well, but she can’t ignore the pang of disappointment she feels watching them all together at home, without her. She’s honestly a bit jealous of her older sister for getting to go to school so close to home that she didn't have to move out. She knows that she would have to move out eventually and she also knows that this is where she needs to be. But honestly a part of her just wants to be home with her family. 

Being here is going to make her dreams come true, though. Hopefully. She just has to keep her eye on the prize.

“So what are your plans for tonight?” Tyler asks putting the camera back on herself. 

Christen glances across the room, biting on her lip and then looks back at Tyler. “I don’t know, some of the girls are going to hang out for a team bonding thing or something,” she shrugs. 

“Oh! That is so exciting! I’m so jealous,” Tyler says with a wistful sigh. 

Christen just smiles at her even though she is really the jealous one. She wishes she could be more outgoing like her sister. Tyler would absolutely love it here and she would probably fit in a lot more with the team than herself. “I don’t know if I want to go,” she says honestly. “They are going to a club,” she informs her.

Tyler gives her a knowing look, because of course she knows her sister and knows she doesn’t really like going out and hanging out with a bunch of people. She would always get pretty bad anxiety and even panic attacks if too many people were around. “Go, Chris!” She tells her almost sternly. “You need to make friends,” she adds, but looks at her little sister with a softer look.

“You sound like mom,” Christen rolls her eyes. “I’m here for school and soccer, not to make friends and go party,” she says with a sigh.

“Mom isn't wrong,” Tyler says simply. “You can do well in school and soccer and still make some friends and have some fun once in awhile,” she informs her, like it was new information. “Besides, making friends with your teammates will help you guys on the field,” she adds, and Christen knows that she has a point. Having a bond with teammates off the field definitely does help with performance on the field as well. She knows that Tyler is right, but she hadn’t really thought about it like that. 

“Maybe,” Christen frowns, just as Alex walks back into their room, Allie and Kelley following behind her. Christen feels her anxiety spike at the sight of them, but she gives them a small smile before looking back at her sister getting ready to tell her bye. The last thing she needs is Tyler getting into a conversation with her teammates.

But before she can do that, Kelley comes around and looks at the screen. “Who are you talking to, Pretty Pressi?” She asks, and once again Christen blushes at the nickname. 

Tyler just smiles widely and waves at Kelley. “Tyler, the prettier Press,” she answers, making Christen shake her head, a small smile on her lips. 

“You are definitely very pretty,” Kelley winks. “Damn, the Press family has some good genes,” she comments, making Tyler laugh loudly. 

“I’ll talk to you later, Tyler,” Christen tells her, before her older sister can protest. She turns the camera so that Kelley isn’t on the screen anymore. “Bye, I love you.”

“Okay, I love you and go have fun tonight,” Tyler says before ending the call.

Christen cringes and glances up at her teammates knowing that they probably heard her sister. And by the huge grin on Kelley’s face, she knows that she had. “You are coming with us?” Kelley asks, clapping her hands in excitement. 

“I really don’t drink or dance or anything,” she says with a frown. “I don’t really like the crowds and stuff,” she explains, still not fully convinced that she wants to go out, though she knows it wouldn’t hurt her and maybe it would actually be good for her. It’s not that she doesn’t want to make any friends or go and have some fun. It’s just never come easy for her.

“Not everyone drinks,” Allie tells her, repeating Tobin’s words from earlier. “And it does have a dance floor but there is a space with couches and tables and it’s pretty chill. It’s not like a raging nightclub or anything,” Allie tries to reason making her feel better. 

“Most of the students aren’t even on campus yet,” Alex adds. “So hopefully it won’t be too crowded anyway.” She says, and Kelley enthusiastically nods her head, hoping that they are convincing Christen to go with them. 

Christen sighs but looks at their hopeful faces and can’t find it in herself to say no. She really doesn’t want her new teammates to already be mad at her or not like her. That would make for an even more stressful year. “Okay, fine,” she says quietly.

She winces when Kelley shrieks and jumps onto her bed in excitement. 

She’s already regretting this a little. But the happiness on Kelley’s face is just enough to not make her take back her answer. 

—-

Christen walks into the bathroom that she shares with her suit mates, that she had still yet to see. She knows that she has met them because she met everyone on the team at practice, but she’s not really sure which two girls live in the room next to her. Thankfully, she hasn’t run into them in the bathroom yet. Sharing a bathroom with 3 other people was definitely going to be an adjustment but so far she hasn’t had any problems with it. 

This time however, there is a blonde girl standing at the counter, straightening her hair. “Oh hey Christen,” she greets with a smile. 

“Hi...Julie?” She questions a bit unsure, and feeling a little guilty, since this girl had remembered her name. 

“Yes,” she answers, relieving Christen a bit. “I’ll be done in like two minutes,” she comments and Christen just nods. 

She walks up to the counter as well and starts pulling some makeup out of her bag, having plenty of room for two. They get ready together in silence for a few minutes and it’s a nice change from the very outspoken and loud teammates she had interacted with so far. 

A couple of minutes later, Julie unplugs her straightener and looks herself over in the mirror, admiring her work. “I’m guessing that you are coming out with us tonight?” Julie asks, looking at her through the mirror. 

“Yeah,” Christen says quietly as she puts some mascara on. “I guess I didn’t have much of a choice,” she says with a small laugh. 

Julie laughs as well, nodding her head. “Yeah, I picked up on that hostile invite as well,” she smirks. “But, I’m sure it’ll be fun. So far all of the girls seem pretty great. I don’t really know anyone here except my boyfriend so it’ll be nice to get to know everyone and make some friends.” She says. 

Christen just nods, though she doesn’t feel the same need for making friends. She’s never really had them before and she doesn’t see the point now. Though in retrospect it does sound kind of nice to maybe have some friends and have some people to talk to and hang out with. 

“I’ll see you in a bit,” Julie tells her before walking back into her room. 

Christen just smiles after her, nodding her head. She turns back to the mirror and continues putting her makeup on, before deciding she should go ahead and change her clothes while she has the bathroom to herself.

A few moments later, she walks back into her dorm room, dressed in some skinny jeans and a white lace crop top, her naturally curly hair, laying against her shoulders. 

Kelley lets out a whistle and it startles Christen, not realizing that Kelley was still in her room. She looks up to see her, Alex and Allie all sitting on Alex’s bed, hanging out, dressed and ready to go. “You look smokin’” Kelley comments with a wink. 

Christen blushes and ducks her head, walking over to her dresser to grab her hoop earrings and puts them in her ears. “Thanks,” she says shyly, though she doesn’t really believe her. Christen had never had anyone think she was hot before. She got made fun of a lot in high school for her disproportionate body and her wild curly hair. Her upper body doesn’t match the bottom half and she has always had a bit of a hunch. She got reminded about it constantly. 

She turns around to grab her bag and sees Tobin standing in the doorway wearing some black jeans and a simple white T-shirt, with of course a stupid snap back on her head. Christen is a little annoyed at how good this girl can look in something so casual. But she also finds herself admiring how good Tobin looks. 

“Whoa,” Tobin lets slip out, her eyes looking Christen up and down. It makes Christen shift uncomfortably and feel a bit self conscious under the girl’s gaze.

“She looks hot, right?” Kelley asks, standing up from the bed and walking over to Tobin, both of them looking at Christen appreciatively. Though when Christen’s eyes meet Tobin’s, she quickly looks away and Christen swears she looks a bit flushed. 

“Yeah, you look amazing,” Tobin finally says, gathering her composure a bit, and smiling at Christen. 

Christen feels butterflies in her stomach and smiles back. God, her smile is amazing. “Thank you,” Christen says, the blush returning to her cheeks. Somehow she believes it just a tad bit more when Tobin says it. “So do you,” she replies, a bit awkwardly, though meaning it. 

“Thanks,” Tobin grins, her confidence back as she winks at Christen.

“Let’s go bitches!” They hear a voice yell and then see Ashlyn and Ali appear at the doorway. “Some of the others are already headed that way,” she explains. 

“Everyone ready?” Alex asks, grabbing her purse and heading for the door. They all walk out and Christen watches as Alex locks the door and she mentally checks to make sure she has her own key and everything else she needs, before following the others down the hallway. 

—-

They walk into the bar and thankfully Alex had been right when she said that it probably wouldn’t be too crowded. The only people that were really on campus right now were athletes and a few students who just chose to move in early. 

There is music playing and a few people on the dance floor but it is definitely not as crowded or as loud as Christen had been expecting, which eases her anxiety a bit. Though, she’s not really sure what to do now. She’s never been to a bar before. She watches as some of the girls go up to the bar to get drinks and a couple of others head out to the dance floor, already starting to dance and have a good time.

She starts panicking and glances around nervously, feeling really out of place, when she feels a hand on her back. She jumps slightly and turns to see Julie standing next to her with a soft smile on her face. “Me and Ali are going to go and find a table, you want to come with us?” She asks. 

Christen nods gratefully and follows the two to a corner that had few couches and other tables and seats around, and it was even more quiet than the rest of the bar had been. She takes a seat on one of the couches and looks next to her where Julie and Ali sit down. She’s grateful for the two of them, because they seem to be a lot more calm than the rest of the group and even though she doesn’t know them yet, just being in their presence is giving her a calm feeling.

“This place is pretty awesome,” Julie comments, looking around with a wide grin. “I love Portland so far,” she adds, looking back to her two teammates. “There are so many cool restaurants and bars. And the vibe is just awesome,” she gushes. 

“Portland is great. Just wait until the season starts. It’s such a soccer community and so many people show up to the games. It’s unreal,” Ali nods, having already been at this school for a couple of years now. “All the girls on the team are pretty great usually, too. We’ve had a few players in the past that didn’t fit in as well, but normally we are such a tight group. It definitely helps on the field.” 

“I love everyone so far,” Julie nods, the smile still on her face. “It’s so nice to be playing with people at the same level and people who care about the sport just as much,” she exclaims. Being in high school sports were different because not everyone took it as serious as others. Not everyone wanted to play in college or go pro. It made things a bit difficult for a super competitive person. Or someone who wanted to make it a career. 

“How are you settling in Christen?” Ali asks politely. 

Christen, who had just been sitting quietly, listening, looks over at her and gives her a small smile. “It’s good, I like it so far,” she nods. “I miss my family a lot,” she admits a bit sadly. 

“Are you really close to your family?” Julie asks, and Christen nods her head. “Where are they?” She asks curiously. 

“LA,” she responds simply. “It’s not too far, but it’s the first time I’ve been away from home for this long and honestly my sisters and even my parents are my best friends. It’s hard,” she exclaims, feeling a bit embarrassed. She knows that maybe she is a little too dependent on them, but it’s just how they have always been. She hadn’t had friends when she was younger and it had been her family that got her through everything. 

“That’s really nice,” Ali says, not making fun of her for being so attached to her family. “I love my family but we were never that close. I mean, me and my brother are close, but not my parents,” she exclaims. “My brother is crazy, but he’s my best friend too,” she nods. 

It makes Christen feel a bit better, knowing that someone else’s siblings were their best friends as well. 

“I honestly, couldn’t wait to get away from home and start fresh. It’s exciting,” Julie explains. “Except I did bring my boyfriend with me,” she says with a smile. “I couldn’t leave him behind,” she adds with a giggle. 

“You and Zach are adorable,” Ali comments. “And I hear he’s great at football,” she adds and Julie nods proudly. 

“He is. Our dream is to both make it professionally. It’s nice dating someone that understands how hard it is to be an athlete and how time consuming it can be,” she explains. 

“I agree,” Ali nods just as Ashlyn walks over to them. She hands Ali a bottle of sparkling water and sits down next to her as she sips on a beer. She slings her arm around Ali, who kisses her cheek, and Christen quickly decides that they are a couple. 

“How long have you guys been together?” Julie asks curiously. 

“Just over two years, but we’ve known each other for a long time,” Ashlyn answers. “We met at a soccer camp when we were younger,” she explains with a smile. “I couldn’t resist her adorable smile and that cute little bun on her head when we were 13 and I still can’t,” she says, leaning in to kiss a blushing Ali. 

Julie just grins at them. “You guys are too cute,” she smiles, and Christen can’t help but agree. 

Christen looks around the bar and she watches as Kelley and some of the other teammates are dancing and having fun on the dance floor. It makes her a bit jealous at how happy and carefree they seem. They aren’t even good at dancing, or at least it doesn’t seem so with the way they are all jumping around, but they don’t even mind. They are just having the time of their lives and she wishes she knew what that felt like.

Christen sighs and looks over towards the bar where she spots Tobin talking very closely to another woman. Christen feels something inside of her that she’s not really sure what it is, but it’s unsettling. Tobin leans in whispering something in the woman’s ear and she just grins in return, leaning in even closer to Tobin. 

“We have been here 5 minutes and Tobin has already had a woman buy her a drink,” Pinoe says, pulling Christen from her thoughts. She looks up to see the pixie haired girl, sitting down on the couch next to Ashlyn and Ali.

“Are you surprised?” Ali asks with a smirk. “We can’t take Tobin anywhere without her getting hit on,” she says and the others nod in agreement. 

Christen feels some sort of relief in her finding out that Tobin likes girls, though she doesn’t understand why she cares about that knowledge. It’s not like she is into Tobin. Okay, maybe she’s had a small crush on her since she watched her play in her first cap, but she always chalked that up to being attracted to her skills. Not just her. And even if she were into Tobin, it’s not like Tobin would like her. She is nowhere comparable to the girl that Tobin is currently talking to. 

She can’t help herself from looking back over at Tobin to see her with her arm around the girl’s waist, still talking closely with her. Christen just frowns, feeling more unsettled and forces herself to look away and focus back on her teammates. 

They are currently wrapped up in a conversation about American football, Julie proudly talking about her boyfriend and Ashlyn fangirling a bit. But honestly Christen has never really liked American football and she has no idea what they are talking about. So she just sits back, fiddling with her phone in her lap, wondering when an acceptable time to leave will be. 

Hanging out with them definitely wasn’t as bad as she thought it would be, but the bar is getting a bit more full the later it gets and she’s starting to feel her anxiety spike. 

A few moments later, Tobin plops herself down on the couch next to Pinoe, sipping on a beer, catching Christen’s attention. She finds herself not being able to look away from the woman as she puts a hand behind her head, getting comfortable on the couch. 

“What happened to the girl you were talking to?” Pinoe asks with a smirk. 

Tobin just casually shrugs her shoulders. “I wanted to come and hang out with my friends,” she smiles, putting her arm around Megan. “But, I did get her number and she told me to find her before I leave,” she says, wiggling her brows, making Pinoe and the others chuckle at her. 

“What about you, Christen? Are you dating anyone?” Ashlyn asks and they all turn their attention over to her. She just nervously starts picking at her phone case, not liking to be in the spotlight. Nobody had been talking to her and she was totally okay to fade in to the background. It’s what she preferred. 

“Ooo yeah, are you single?” She hears Kelley ask out of nowhere, making her look up to see the group of girls that had been dancing now joining them and sitting in various chairs around the tables. 

“Oh um...yeah I’m single,” she finally nods, feeling her throat start to tighten a bit. There’s so many girls around and so many eyes on her right now and she feels like she is about to have a panic attack. 

“Do you like girls, guys? Both?” Kelley wonders, just making her even more nervous. She clears her throat and can’t help but notice Tobin is staring at her as well looking a bit curious. But she takes her eyes off of Tobin, the girl just making her even more nervous under her gaze. She really just wants them to go back to their own conversation and let her disappear back into the background.

“Guys, leave her alone,” Ali says, sensing how uncomfortable the girl is. “Quit questioning her.” 

Kelley sighs and rolls her eyes but listens to Ali and moves over to sit in between Emily and Lindsey, starting up a conversation with them. 

Christen sends Ali a thankful smile and Ali just winks at her, smiling back as well. Her eyes then find Tobin who is still staring at her, seemingly lost in thought. But when she notices that Christen is looking at her she quickly gives her a smile. 

Christen again, can’t help but smile back. Honestly that smile is going to be the death of her.

—-

Somehow half an hour later, Christen gets roped into playing pool on Kelley’s team. She’s loud and a little abrasive, but honestly Christen is finding herself slowly starting to like Kelley. She may give her a bit of anxiety because of how crazy she is, but she’s nice and she makes Christen laugh. Sometimes her craziness distracts Christen from just how anxious she is. And honestly, Kelley never seems bothered by how awkward Christen can be and just talks to her like she does everyone else.

And also they are playing against Tobin and Pinoe and maybe Christen wanted to spend some more time with Tobin. 

“Alright, Pressi,” Kelley starts, placing a hand on Christen’s shoulder. “These games can get a bit competitive,” she says, looking over and eyeing their opponents. “But don’t worry, I’ll carry the team for us,” she says confidently. 

Christen just nods and can’t help but smile a little at the girl’s behavior. She sits back and watches as Tobin breaks the balls without anything going in and she raises a brow at the girl. For some reason she had assumed that Tobin would be really good at pool. But maybe it was just a bad start. 

Turns out, it wasn’t a bad start and Tobin is actually pretty terrible at pool. They all are to be honest. Pinoe is the best at it, but even she is barely hitting anything in. 

And surprisingly, Christen is actually really good at pool. 

“Damn, Pressi,” Kelley smiles as she watches her teammate sink another ball in. “Why didn’t you say that you are good at pool!” She explains. “I am so glad that I picked you!” She says, giving Christen a high five. 

“It’s pretty easy,” Christen shrugs. “It’s like geometry,” she adds and the other girls just scoff at her, smiles on their faces. 

“Sure, Chris, just make us all look bad,” Pinoe says jokingly.

Christen just giggles and sits back down to watch Tobin take her turn. She smiles as the girl leans down looking super concentrated on the balls in front of her, her tongue poking out as she lines up the shot just perfectly. She takes way longer than she should to make the shot and she can see Kelley bouncing her knee, starting to get a bit anxious at the buildup. 

But it was all for nothing and yet again, Tobin completely misses the ball. Christen laughs out loud and it not only surprises herself, but Tobin who looks over at her with a raised brow. 

“Sorry,” Christen mumbles, a bit apologetic, though she is still smiling. 

Tobin tries to look annoyed, but she can’t help smile at the girl as well. “I’m better with my feet,” she mumbles, clearly embarrassed at how bad she is. 

Pinoe and Kelley burst out laughing and Kelley gives her a smirk. “So you aren’t good with your hands? How unfortunate for all those girls you’ve slept with,” she says, making Pinoe laugh loudly. 

“I’m plenty good at that,” Tobin huffs. “Ask any of the many girls on that list,” she replies. “Maybe we can ask some of the girls you have hooked up with about your skills?” She says with a smirk of her own. “Oh wait, there aren’t any,” she adds with a challenging look. 

“Damn,” Pinoe says simply an amused smile on her face. 

Kelley crosses her arms over her chest and lets out a huff. “I hook up with plenty of girls,” Kelley argues and even Pinoe who had chosen to stay out of the conversation, gives Kelley a look. “I do!” She exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. 

Christen just watches with a small amused smile of her own, watching her teammates banter with each other. Though, she doesn’t like all this talk about all the women that Tobin apparently sleeps with. But, she shouldn’t be surprised. Tobin is hot and she just seems so cool. Of course women would like her.

“I bet you can’t find anyone to take home tonight,” Tobin challenges. 

Kelley stands up a bit straighter and steps towards Tobin. “Challenge accepted,” she says, reaching out to shake Tobin’s hand. “Now, Pressi, finishes these bitches off,” she says, glaring at the two women. 

Christen just giggles and takes the pool stick from Kelley, doing as she says. 

—-

A bit after their game of pool, Tobin notices Christen up at the bar, trying to get the bartender's attention and some guy standing next to her trying to get Christen’s attention. Christen doesn’t seem to be paying any mind to the guy next to her though. She just keeps trying to wave down the bartender who seems to be ignoring her for the blondes in the low cut tops, leaning over the bar. 

Tobin walks up behind her and quickly shouts at the bartender, getting his attention for her. It works and the guy comes over so Tobin just looks down at Christen, asking her what she would like. 

“Just a club soda,” Christen says a bit shyly. The bartender rolls his eyes, acting annoyed that he’d been interrupted from talking to the women for just a club soda, and Christen just takes the drink from him, feeling awkward. “Thank you,” she says, turning to look up at Tobin. 

“Sure,” Tobin shrugs before grabbing herself another beer. “I’ll let you get back to your friend,” she says glancing at the guys sitting next to Christen that had been talking to her. 

Christen looks alarmed at the mention of the guy and she subtly shakes her head at Tobin. 

Tobin gets the message loud and clear and she places her hand on the small of Christen’s back, guiding her off the stool. “Sorry bro, I’m stealing her away,” she tells the guy, who looks like he wants to protest. But Tobin leads Christen away from him before he can even get words out. “Want to go sit?” She asks Christen nodding back over to the corner where they had been previously. 

Christen nods her head gratefully and follows Tobin back to the tables, where it’s just Crystal, Julie and Ali talking amongst themselves. She’s about to join them, but Tobin pulls her over to a table next to theirs so they can sit by themselves. 

Christen is thankful to get some peace, but she’s a little anxious to be alone with Tobin.

“So do you play pool a lot?” Tobin asks curiously, taking a sip of her beer as she leans back, making herself comfortable on the couch.

Christen shakes her head. “No, we have a table at home but I never use it,” she says honestly. “I can probably count on one hand how many times that I have actually played,” she says, which surprises Tobin. “I mean, when I was little I played with my dad a lot, but that was before I knew any of the rules. I’d mostly just push them in with my hands,” she says with a giggle. 

Tobin grins at her, happy to hear Christen say more than just a few words. And she can’t help but notice the way she lights up when she talks about her dad. 

“My dad would always just let me win and play however I wanted,” she continues, the smile still on her face. “At the time, I thought I was so good and I was always so proud of myself for beating my dad. He would get so happy and pick me up on his shoulders calling me the champion.” She says, relaxing a bit as she relives the happy moment from her childhood. 

“That’s adorable,” Tobin comments, making Christen blush at her. 

“Anyway, by the time I got old enough to actually play by the rules, I wasn’t that interested anymore.” She says with a shrug.

“What other hidden talents do you have?” Tobin asks with a smirk. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip of her club soda. “Nothing,” She answers simply. 

Tobin hums in response, figuring there is probably a lot more to this girl than she lets on and Tobin finds herself wanting to know more. She glances back over at Christen and catches the girl’s eyes trailing up her body, clearly checking her out. It just makes Tobin smirk and she gives Christen a wink as soon as their eyes finally meet. 

Christen flushes, her cheeks turning bright red as she shifts in her seat, taking another sip of her soda, feeling completely mortified. 

Tobin can’t stop herself from giggling as she watches the embarrassed girl sink into the couch and avoid eye contact with her. She then lets herself get a good look at Christen, her eyes trailing up and down her body as well. Honestly, Christen is one of the most beautiful girls that she has ever met. She’s finding it a bit hard to remember this whole, ‘no teammates’ rule.

But maybe it was this stupid rule that was making Tobin so crazy. She's never been like this around a girl, but she’s also never been told she couldn’t have a girl. She’s used to getting what she wants. It doesn’t help that Christen doesn’t seem to want anything to do with her most of the time. She’s used to girls falling all over her.

Before anything else is said between the two, Kelley comes and throws herself on the couch next to Tobin. Lindsey and Emily following behind her and sitting down in the chairs. 

“There aren’t any girls here that I want to hook up with anyway,” Kelley says with a small pout, folding her arms across her chest. 

Tobin just laughs at her because she knows that Kelley has been walking around hitting on numerous girls just for them to turn her down. She feels a little bad for the girl, but honestly she had been joking when she made the comment to Kelley. She knows that she is pretty great herself and can find a girl if she really wants to as well. 

“You just need to relax a bit,” Tobin tells her. “You come on a little too strong sometimes.” She adds, before taking another sip of beer. 

Kelley rolls her eyes and sits up next to Tobin. “Not all of us can be as cool as you, Toby,” Kelley says, flicking at the brim of Tobin’s SnapBack. 

Tobin grumbles at the nickname and just adjusts her hat. 

“Toby is cute,” Christen smiles with a giggle.

Tobin tries to glare at her, but it doesn’t work and she finds herself smiling back at Christen. Somehow it doesn’t bother her as much coming from her lips. And she will honestly let her call her anything if she keeps smiling like that.

“Hey, Tobin,” a voice says, making them all look up to see a pretty brunette standing next to their group. “Come dance with me?” She asks with a hopeful smile. 

Tobin gives her a polite smile in return, but shakes her head. “I’m just hanging out with my friends right now.” She declines. 

The woman frowns a bit, but doesn’t look too put off, as she quickly smiles again, giving Tobin a seductive look. “Okay, well come and find me later,” she says with a wink before strutting off. 

Christen doesn’t miss how Tobin’s eyes follow after the girl and it makes that same uneasy feeling settle in her stomach. 

“You have got to be kidding me,” Kelley groans, rolling her eyes. 

Tobin just laughs and reaches over, patting Kelley on the head. 

—-

They end up chatting for another half hour or so and Christen finds herself feeling a bit more relaxed. She’s still not joining the conversation much, but she’s finding herself having a good time just listening to the others banter with each other. It’s definitely not as difficult being here as she had worked herself up to think. Though, she still has the thought of going home and studying lingering in the back of her mind. She has a pretty strict schedule and it makes her uneasy if she doesn’t follow it. 

She gets pulled out of the negative thoughts trying to arise again when she sees Allie come and sit down next to Tobin, Alex sitting down with them as well. 

“Harry!” The blonde shouts, hugging Tobin. Christen gives Tobin a confused look at the name but Tobin shakes her head with a smile and turns back to Allie. She laughs at her friend and hugs her back before looking over at Alex. “How much did you let her drink?”

Alex just shrugs, a smile on her face. “She had two beers and then Servando bought us a couple of shots,” she says with a shrug. “She obviously can’t hold her alcohol,” she adds, chuckling. 

“I want another shot,” Allie mumbles into Tobin’s neck. 

“I think it’s probably time to get home,” Tobin tells her with a smile. 

Alex nods in agreement and moves over to help Allie up. “I can get her back,” Alex tells them. “Serv drove here so I’ll just have him drop her off at the dorms,” she explains. 

Tobin just nods her head and turns to the rest of the group. “It’s been fun ladies,” she says with a grin. “But, I think I am going to go and find the pretty brunette from earlier,” she says with a wink. 

Christen watches her walk off, a frown on her face. She’s not really sure what she expected or why she is so put off by the fact that Tobin is going to go and probably hook up with some random girl. It’s not really her business and she shouldn’t care what Tobin does. 

“Christen, you want to come with us? We’re going back to the dorms,” She hears Ali ask as she and Ashlyn gather up all of their things. 

Christen quickly nods her head and says bye to the rest of the group as she follows Ashlyn and Ali, thankful to be going back to the dorms. She spots Tobin as they are leaving, the brunette from earlier hugging her and kissing her neck. Christen just looks away and quickly follows behind Ali and Ashlyn out of the bar.

“So, Chris, did you have fun?” Ashlyn asks as they start the short walk down the sidewalk back to their dorm. 

“Yeah,” Christen says simply, and the other two girls don’t seem very convinced. “I just don’t really like crowds and a lot of noise,” she adds, noticing the looks on their faces. “But it was nice getting to know some of you guys a little better.” She says honestly. Because she actually did find herself enjoying that part. 

“I noticed quite a few guys trying to talk to you,” Ashlyn states and Christen doesn’t miss the look that Ali gives her, obviously telling her not to bring that up. 

Christen shrugs, because she hadn’t really paid much attention. There were a couple that tried to talk to her while she was at the bar, but she had pretty quickly declined the offer of a drink or their company. And then of course, Tobin had saved her from one persistent guy. “I wasn’t really interested,” she says simply. “I want to focus on school and soccer. I’m not really trying to date anyone,” she tells them. 

“Smart,” Ali nods, giving Christen a smile. Christen is a little surprised they aren’t going to try and pressure her into it just like her family has been doing. And everyone else all of her life. Apparently there is something wrong with her for not wanting to date. 

“Well, if anyone ever bothers you just let me know and I’ll kick some ass,” Ashlyn tells her with a grin. 

Christen smiles at her and watches as Ali gives her a cute smile too and kisses her girlfriends cheek. “Thanks, Ashlyn,” she says quietly, but appreciatively. She hasn’t spent much time with the two of them, but she thinks she may really like having their friendship. 

They get back to the rooms and Ashlyn looks over at Ali, wiggling her brows. “Can we take advantage of the fact that Tobin is gone tonight?” She asks, pulling her girlfriend into a hug. 

Ali laughs and swats Ashlyn away from her, but gives her a big grin before turning to Christen. “We should totally get coffee or something a little less chaotic soon, yeah?” She asks, pulling Christen into a hug. 

Christen is a bit surprised by the contact, but hugs Ali back, only a bit awkwardly. “Yeah, that sounds great,” she says, and this time she’s actually not lying. 

“Have a good night,” Ashlyn tells her before unlocking her dorm room door and guiding Ali inside. 

“You too,” Christen says watching them close the door behind them. Christen just smiles a bit to herself as she opens the door to her own room, feeling pretty proud of herself. 

She may not have been the most open and social person tonight, but she’d at least gone. She’s put herself in a situation she normally wouldn’t and she’d ended up having a pretty good time. 

Maybe making some friends wasn’t going to be as hard as she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Leave some comments for me and let me know what you are thinking! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you again for all of the comments that were left! I appreciate it all! I am so happy that people are starting to like this story and are excited to see where it goes! 
> 
> Enjoy...

Christen wakes up bright and early the following morning, after going out with her teammates. She has a smile on her face, still feeling pretty proud of herself for actually going with them in the first place. And on top of just going, she even tried participating with them and even having a good time. Sure, her anxiety had flared up a few times and she felt a bit uncomfortable, but she had gotten through it without running away and she felt more proud of herself than ever. One of her goals outside of doing well in school and on the soccer team is to try and force herself out of her comfort zone and do more things that she wouldn’t have in the past.

She glances over at Alex’s bed and notices that she still wasn’t home which wasn’t that surprising considering the sun had barely even risen yet and she had clearly gone somewhere else after the bar. 

Christen wasn’t exactly a morning person, but she did try and make herself get up early on most days. She normally tries to get in a good yoga session before starting her day because it helps her relax and though it doesn't completely make her anxiety go away, it helps. And she definitely has to drink some coffee before going out and having to interact with people. If she wants to get all of that done she normally finds herself getting up before the sun even rises. 

She stretches out her body, listening to the satisfying sound of her bones cracking in relief. She then gets up and changes her clothes into some yoga pants and her sports bra, deciding to take advantage of the fact that Alex isn’t in the room. She hasn’t gotten to do yoga much since she’s moved here because she hasn’t wanted to bother her roommate. It’s been a bit unsettling having to change up her morning routine, but she knew it was going to happen. Living with another person in such close quarters, she’s had to make some adjustments, whether she liked it or not.

She’s not exactly sure how long Alex will be gone so she quickly pulls her mat out, lying it in the small space between their beds. She takes in a deep relaxing breath before letting it out and starting her morning yoga, already feeling more relaxed just at the thought of finally getting to do it. 

It’s only a few minutes later when she hears the door open, startling her a bit. She was a bit surprised to see Alex back so early. Not that it mattered because it was her dorm room as well and she could come back whenever she feels like it. Though, Christen is a bit disappointed that she hadn’t gotten to finish her yoga session. 

Alex seems a bit surprised to see her awake so early as well and just gives her a small smile as she walks into the room. 

Christen quickly gets up and starts folding her mat up. “Sorry,” she mumbles, not wanting to be in the girl’s way. There wasn’t much space in the dorm to begin with and she didn’t want to make Alex have to try and navigate around her.

“I don’t mind,” Alex says simply, taking off her jewelry and setting it down on the dresser. She’s still dressed in what she had been wearing last night, clearly just going home with her boyfriend after the bar last night. “You know there is a space in the student gym for people to do yoga,” she informs her. 

Christen just nods her head. “I’ll check it out, thanks,” she says with a small smile. Doing her yoga in a room with a bunch of other people doesn’t sound like it’ll be that relaxing for her, but she is definitely going to remember to check it out. Maybe if she goes early enough, nobody else will be there.

“Did you have fun last night?” Alex asks, sitting down on her bed. 

Christen is a bit surprised because it’s the first time that Alex has really tried to start up a conversation with her. “Yeah, I did,” she says but she’s no more convincing than she had been when she was talking to Ashlyn and Ali last night. 

“Some of the girls can be a lot sometimes,” Alex says, already sensing Christen’s reservations. “But they are harmless,” she adds. “They’re all pretty cool and honestly, they are super loyal. We would all do pretty much anything for any of the girl’s on this team. It’s a good group,” she says, and Christen nods because she was already starting to sense that about the team. 

“Everyone seems really nice,” she agrees. “How was your night?” Christen asks politely, deciding to try and keep the conversation with Alex going. She’s not great at small talk, but if Alex is trying then she should as well, right?

“Good,” Alex nods. “Me and Serv came and dropped Allie’s drunk ass off at her dorm,” she says, rolling her eyes but a fond smile on her lips. “Then we went back to his place,” she says, confirming Christen’s suspicions. “He lives off campus in an apartment with some other guys,” she tells her. “And yes, it’s sort of like a frat house over there, but it’s better than these cramp dorms,” she adds with a chuckle. 

Christen just laughs and nods her head. Honestly she’s glad that he has a place so maybe that won’t mean he will be over here too often. Not that she minds, because it’s Alex’s room too and she is sure that her boyfriend is nice enough. But she knows it’ll be a little awkward with how small the space is, if her boyfriend is over. 

They both look up when they hear footsteps coming down the hallway accompanied by whistling. “Tobin,” Alex says knowingly, a smirk on her face. 

Christen looks at her curiously but then a second later they see Tobin appear across the hallway, dressed in the same thing she had been wearing last night. Christen smiles when she sees her but then quickly frowns, remembering exactly where she is coming home from.

However, as soon as Tobin opens her door, she closes it back and quickly walks into Christen and Alex’s room. “Ali is still over. And they are not decent,” she says with wide eyes. 

Alex laughs loudly at her friends dismay. “You can hang with us,” she tells her and Tobin lets out a relieved sigh. “How was your night?” Alex asks, wiggling her brows over in her friend's direction. 

Tobin sits down on the foot of Alex’s bed and just shrugs her shoulders. “Fine,” she comments pretty simply. She makes eye contact with Christen and Christen swears that she sees some sort of guilt in her eyes, though she’s not entirely sure why. 

“Are you going to call this one?” Alex asks, nudging Tobin with her foot. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and gives Alex a knowing look. It’s all the answer that both her and Christen need. 

“You know, you should try actually dating a girl sometime. Being in a loving relationship is pretty awesome,” Alex tells her, raising a brow. 

Tobin just gags herself. “No thank you,” she brushes off quickly. 

Christen frowns at the answer. She had gathered that Tobin slept around a lot, but she didn’t realize Tobin was just completely against relationships in general. Not that it matters either way, because she definitely doesn’t like Tobin and Tobin can do as she pleases.

“Can we go get some breakfast?” Alex asks, sitting up and getting off of her bed. She goes over to her dresser and starts changing her clothes in front of both of them without a care in the world. 

It honestly shouldn’t be a big deal because they all change in front of each other in the locker room, but it makes Christen feel a bit uncomfortable. She looks away pretty quickly, but she can’t help but notice Tobin just openly appreciates Alex’s body. 

“Serv doesn’t feed you breakfast after?” Tobin jokes. 

Alex rolls her eyes and shoves Tobin, making her fall onto the bed. “He had an early workout,” she informs her friend. “Christen, you want to come?” Alex asks, surprising Christen. 

She looks up at Alex and then over to Tobin who is nodding her head with a smile. “Uh...sure,” she agrees. She hadn’t eaten anything yet nor has she had any coffee and she could definitely use some. She’s not really used to interacting with people this early without her coffee. 

“Awesome,” Tobin smiles. “Give me some clothes,” she then says going up behind Alex. She nudges her out of the way and starts digging through the girl’s drawers for a T-shirt and shorts. 

“You don’t want to go back in your room and get your own clothes?” Alex asks with a smirk, knowing she definitely doesn’t want to walk in on Ashlyn and Ali again. 

Tobin just ignores the blue eyed girl and starts changing right in the middle of the room as well. 

Once again, Christen looks away a bit awkwardly but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t get a good peak of Tobin’s perfect abs. 

—

Just a block away from campus they walk into a little coffee shop and cafe that apparently both Tobin and Alex love and say that all the girls on the team hang out there pretty often. It’s a cute little place and looks very warm and welcoming, plus it smells like a mix of coffee and fresh baked goods that make Christen’s mouth start watering. 

They walk up to the counter and Tobin orders herself 3 bagels with cream cheese and a large cup of coffee. Christen on the other hand is pleased to see that they make açaí bowls and gets herself one of those. Tobin makes a face at the order and then just rolls her eyes when Alex gets the same thing. 

“Those things do not look appealing,” Tobin comments with a frown. She reaches for her wallet and pays for everyone’s orders before they get a chance to do it themselves or put up a protest. 

“You didn’t have to do that,” Christen states, frowning at the girl. 

Tobin just shrugs and waves her hand, brushing her off. “Thank you, Toby,” Alex says, leaning in and kissing her cheek. “Who needs Serv when I have you to buy me things,” she says with a grin. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and follows the girls over to a table while they wait for their orders to be ready. “You had your chance, Morgan,” Tobin tells her in a sing song voice. 

Alex scoffs at her as she sits down next to Tobin. “Yeah right, all you wanted from me was sex and I’m pretty sure you would not have offered me breakfast after,” she says matter of fact. 

Tobin doesn’t even try to look offended as she just smiles. “I might have offered you one of my protein bars,” she grins.

Christen just fiddles with her phone in her lap, feeling a bit awkward with their flirting. She knows that Alex has a boyfriend and Tobin very clearly doesn’t want a relationship, but it still makes her feel a bit awkward and like she is intruding on their relationship by being there. She also tries to ignore that same unsettling feeling in her gut at the thought of Alex and Tobin together. 

Thankfully, their name gets called and she quickly gets up to grab her coffee and açaí bowl, the others doing the same. 

Tobin just grimaces as she watches Christen start to eat the gooey substance. “They are delicious and they’re good for you,” Christen states, matter of fact when she notices the look that Tobin is giving her. 

Alex just laughs. “Tobin doesn’t like anything that is healthy.” 

“I do too,” Tobin argues with a frown. “But, I also like to treat myself,” she replies with a shrug. “Besides, I do enough cardio a day to be able to eat whatever I want,” she tells them as she takes a big bite of her bagel. 

They eat in silence for a few moments until Tobin is looking at Christen again. She feels the gaze on her and starts to get a bit uncomfortable by the blatant staring. It feels like she’s almost appraising her and Christen isn’t really sure why. Either way, she doesn’t look up at Tobin, she just keeps on eating, trying to ignore her. 

“So, what is your deal?” Tobin finally asks curiously, still looking at Christen. She winces a bit at the way her words came out, but honestly this girl is driving her crazy and she wants to know more about her. Maybe then she can figure out why Christen has such an effect on her.

Christen looks up confused, her brows furrowing at the question. “What do you mean?” 

Tobin just shrugs back at her in response, taking another bite. “I don’t know, I just mean that you don’t talk much. I hardly know anything about you.” She states, her mouth full of her bagel. The only real conversation they’d had was when Christen was telling her about playing pool when she was younger. She seems to be a bit of a closed book and it drives Tobin insane. She’s never really had to work this hard to get a girl to talk to her.

“Oh. ell...” Christen starts a bit awkwardly, not really sure what to say. She never likes talking about herself. She honestly doesn’t think she is interesting enough and doesn’t want to bore them. “I’m a communications major,” she finally says, that being the first thing that she could think of. 

“Me too,” Tobin smiles. “Maybe we will have some classes together.” She says a bit hopefully. 

“Maybe,” Christen says. “But, you are a sophomore and I’m a freshman so probably not,” she adds. 

“True,” Tobin says simply going back to her bagel, seemingly content with the little information that Christen gave her. 

But Christen decides that maybe she should actually keep the conversation going. Tobin apparently is interested in knowing her and her life, so she should make an effort, even if it makes her a bit uncomfortable. “What do you plan to do with your major?” She asks Tobin curiously. 

Tobin gives her a funny look over the rim of her coffee mug. “I don’t really plan on doing anything with it. I want to play soccer professionally. I just had to choose a major and take classes to be able to play on a college team,” she answers as though it should be obvious. 

“Well, sure,” Christen agrees. “But I mean you have a back up plan, right? In case you don’t make it?” Christen asks, a little surprised that Tobin didn’t seem to have any plans other than being a professional soccer player. 

“Have you seen me play?” Tobin asks with a smirk. Christen still just frowns at her, not really happy with the answer, and Tobin picks up on it. “Well, what are you going to do?” Tobin then asks, turning the question on her. 

Christen clears her throat getting a bit nervous again. “Well, I want to play professionally as well,” Christen agrees with her. “But, I don’t know. If that doesn’t happen for me then I want to have a plan. I haven’t fully decided yet, but I’d like to do something to help people or at least something for a good cause. There is a lot you can do with a communications major,” she explains. 

But Tobin only takes one thing from the entire conversation, “See, you don’t have a plan either. You are counting on being a professional footballer as well,” She points out with a smug look on her face. 

It makes Christen a little frustrated and she lets out a sigh. “Well that’s the dream, sure,” she agrees. “And I’m only a freshman,” she states, her jaw clenching. She doesn’t like the smug look that Tobin is giving her and it seems like the girl isn’t listening to what she is saying at all. “But, I definitely want to have a plan before I graduate, just in case. I’m trying to get good grades and do well because you never know what will happen,” she says, feeling her anxiety spiking. 

“And you don’t think that I am trying to do well in school?” Tobin ass a bit offended. 

Christen just lets out an exasperated sigh, trying to reign her frustration and anxiety in. She feels like Tobin is getting upset with her and she’s not really sure why. She is obviously taking everything that Christen says, wrong. “That’s not what I meant,” she says, clenching her fists at her side as she feels her heart rate pick up. She’s not explaining herself well and Tobin isn’t really listening to what she is saying and it’s just making her more and more anxious. 

“Hey Tobs, lay off,” Alex finally says, after watching the two of them go back and forth. She can see Christen getting upset with herself and can see how tense she's getting and it makes her feel a little bad for the girl. She knows that Tobin isn’t actually trying to upset her but her careless attitude sometimes affects people in a negative way and she doesn’t even realize. 

Tobin looks a bit caught off guard and gives Alex a confused look. She then looks back over at Christen and it’s like for the first time notices how upset Christen looks and she instantly feels bad. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles looking down at the table, suddenly feeling guilty. 

“It’s fine,” Christen breathes out, trying to relax her body. She knows it wasn’t even that big of a deal and she shouldn’t feel so worked up over the conversation, but she does. Sometimes when her anxiety gets that bad, she just has a hard time communicating her thoughts and people take her the wrong way which gets her even more worked up. It’s like she almost blacks out with anxiety and can’t even process her own thoughts.

An awkward silence falls over them for a few moments and they sip their coffee and continue eating their breakfast.

Christen almost gets up and runs out of the coffee shop, not really wanting to be in this awkward situation anymore. She’d already been a bit on edge, just hanging out with these girls that she barely knows, but now things just seem tense and awkward, to make things worse. This is one of the many reasons she doesn’t like to try and be social. She always screws it up somehow. 

But thankfully Alex speaks up, before she gets up to leave, trying to break the tension. “So Christen, we are from the same area,” she starts and Christen slowly looks up at her, still feeling anxious. “Do you remember playing together when we were younger?” She asks with a smile. 

Christen lets out another breath and nods her head, a small smile forming on her face. She hadn’t thought that Alex would remember her. “I do,” she nods. “I’m surprised you remember,” she says honestly. 

“How could I forget? You were my main completion,” she tells her with a smirk. 

Christen feels herself blushing because she never thought for a moment that she would be any competition for Alex Morgan. She’s always been so good and Christen didn’t think she had ever been on the same level. 

“That’s cute,” Tobin finally says, a smile on her face and the whole conversation from earlier seemingly forgotten. “I can picture a little Alex running around kicking a soccer ball,” she says giggling at her friend. “Did she still look like a baby horse galloping around back then too?” Tobin questions with a teasing smile. 

Christen looks confused at the question and Alex reaches over hitting her friend. “Shut up,” she tells her sternly, but has a smile on her face as well, obviously not too upset by the teasing. 

“I wish I grew up where you guys did,” Tobin says with a wistful sigh. “I’ve gone over to Alex’s a few times after national team camps and games,” she explains. “Me and Kelley usually go there to go surfing and it’s amazing,” Tobin gushes. 

Christen just nods her head and smiles. “Yeah, it’s beautiful,” she agrees, knowing that she was lucky to grow up where she had. 

“Do you surf?” Tobin asks curiously. 

Christen shakes her head and Tobin almost looks offended by her answer. “How did you grow up right on the beach and never learn to surf?” She asks, like it’s the craziest thing that she has ever heard. 

Christen chuckles at her clear outrage and just shrugs her shoulders. “I was always so busy with soccer and I also played tennis for a bit when I was little until I started focusing solely on soccer.” She explains not really thinking that it was a big deal. 

“Madness,” Tobin sighs, making both Alex and Christen laugh at her behavior. 

“The beach was always just more of a relaxing place for me.” She adds as an afterthought. “I prefer to just lay out and read or take my dogs for a walk,” she explains. 

“Oh! You have dogs!” Alex busts in excitedly before Tobin can say anymore about her lack of surfing skills. 

Christen nods her head with a bright smile on her face. “Two, Morena and Khaleesi,” she says, before pulling her phone out of her pocket to proudly show them pictures of her two girls. 

Tobin is still trying to process why anyone would live on the beach and not learn how to surf, but she seems to forget about it pretty quickly as she watches Christen. It’s the biggest smile that she has seen on the girl’s face in the few days that she has known her. She looks so happy talking about her dogs with Alex, that Tobin can’t not smile at her. She looks like a proud mom as she rambles about them, showing Alex videos and pictures.

She’s too freaking adorable. 

Tobin kind of hates it because she doesn’t know what to do with all of these new feelings she has towards Christen. It’s new territory for her. Sure she loves her friends and she likes to see them happy and sure she’s been attracted to women, but she’s never felt anything like this. It’s different than just wanting to sleep with someone and different than the feelings she has for her best friends. 

She doesn’t really care though as she continues to just watch the giddy girl in front of her gushing over her dogs, a smile planted on her face.

She will deal with the feelings if she can see Christen smile like this all the time.  
—-

They get back to the room and thankfully Tobin sees the door open to her room which means that Ashlyn and Ali were finally decent and she could go into her room again. However, now she’s had some coffee and she doesn’t feel like just sitting around in the room. 

“Hey you guys want to go and play?” She asks, reaching inside of her room for the ball that was lying next to the door. She starts to juggle it, giving Christen and Alex a hopeful look. 

Christen bites down on her lip and almost says yes, because she pretty much always wants to play soccer. And she wouldn’t mind spending some more time with Tobin. They may have had a small rough patch during breakfast this morning but it seemed to blow over and the rest of the morning had gone over smoothly. She found herself actually enjoying Tobin’s company, which was strange to her. She’d never really had the urge to spend time with people or get to know them more, outside of her family.

However, she knows that she needs to do some more reading considering she didn’t get anything done last night, choosing to go out with them. And as important as soccer is to her, she knows that she can’t let herself fall behind in school. 

“I’m going to get some more reading done,” Christen says, making Tobin frown at her. 

“I’m down,” Alex says, which makes Tobin smile, though she’s still a bit disappointed that Christen had turned down the offer. 

“Cool,” Tobin says before turning her attention back to Christen, still perfectly juggling the ball. “Can’t you study later?” She just about whines, making Christen crack a grin at her. She’s acting like a toddler who just got told no and Christen should find it annoying, but she thinks Tobin looks adorable. It’s almost enough for her to change her mind.

But, Christen holds firm and shakes her head. “No, I went out with you guys last night instead of studying. I need to do it now,” she responds in a firm tone, letting Tobin know not to argue with her. 

“Fine,” Tobin relents, but gives Christen a pout. She then turns to Alex who was just smiling at the two’s interactions. “I’m going to go and see if anyone else wants to come out for a game,” she says before juggling the ball down the hallway, knocking on all the other girl’s doors. 

“You sure you don’t want to come and play with us? It’s pretty fun when we are out there just having fun with no coaches and no pressure,” Alex says as she follows Christen back into their dorm room. “Though, it still gets pretty competitive and rough out there,” she adds with a chuckle. 

Christen smiles because she’s only known these girls for a short amount of time, but she can picture how competitive they get with each other. She sees it all the time in even just the small things. They turn everything into a challenge or a competition. 

“I’m sure,” Christen tells her. “Maybe next time just give me a heads up and I can plan around it,” she adds, sitting down on her bed and pulling out her planner to make some adjustments. She’d been at breakfast with the two of them a little longer than she had planned out her breakfast and now she is going to have to make some changes. 

“Well we don’t plan it often. We kind of just go randomly when we are bored or just feel like it,” Alex shrugs. “But we can try and make some sort of a plan one day,” she shrugs. 

Christen knows that she should probably let loose a bit more and not always stick so strictly to her schedule. She’s just always been a planner. She never really just does anything in the moment or just because she wants to. It also helps with her anxiety. She always feels so out of control of most things around her and having some structure in her life and something that she can control makes her feel better.

And in her planner she has a couple of hours tonight blocked out to go to the field and take some shots, getting her practice in. And as much fun as it may be to play a pick up game with her teammates, she honestly prefers to go out there alone. It’s sort of like therapy to her. Just her and the ball, alone in peace without feeling all the pressure and judgment of everyone around her. 

“I’ll see you later,” Alex says, pulling her from her thoughts. Christen just nods and watches Alex grab her sneakers and head out the door, calling for Tobin down the hallway. 

—-

It’s only a few hours later when Christen hears loud chatter and shouting from the hallway. She looks up to see a bunch of the girl’s from the team passing her door, all talking at once and over each other. She can barely make out who is saying what but they seem to be arguing over who won and a couple of tackles that should have been fouls. 

Christen just laughs at them, because they honestly were crazy competitive. 

Alex walks back into their room with Tobin and Kelley following behind her. Tobin has a scowl on her face and Kelley is practically jumping on Tobin’s back with a wide smile on her face, clearly excited about something.

“Pressi!” She shouts happily. “I megged the nutmeg queen!” She shouts, pointing at the still scowling Tobin. 

Tobin looks over at Christen and rolls her eyes before turning back to Kelley. “I was getting a drink of water when you did it. It doesn’t even count,” she frowns with an exasperated sigh. 

Kelley smirks and shrugs her shoulders, still obviously satisfied with her work. 

“Try actually doing it when we are playing,” Tobin challenges. “Also how many times did I meg you today?” She asks with a grin. 

Kelley rolls her eyes and groans, throwing herself on Alex’s bed, clearly not wanting to answer Tobin’s question.

“Ew, get off of my bed with your sweaty ass,” Alex shrieks, swatting at the girl. 

Christen just laughs at their banter and small part of her wishes that she could be included in it. They all seem so close and like they have so much fun together. Christen has never really known what that felt like. And she knows that she could have it if she’d just put herself out there and hang out with them more. It’s just a lot harder than it seems. Plus, they probably wouldn’t like her enough anyway. She’s not really fun like they all seem to be. She’s always been called boring, and she always told herself that it didn’t bother her. She is who she is and she likes who she is for the most part. But people's words still hurt her sometimes. She would love to be more carefree and fun, it’s just hard for her.

“I definitely need a shower,” Tobin says, looking down at her own sweaty body. “But, I’m pretty sure I just saw Ali and Ashlyn going in to ours, together,” she says with a grimace. 

Alex laughs at her, shaking her head. “It’s going to be a long semester for you, bud,” she comments, patting Tobin’s shoulder. 

“Ugh, I know,” Tobin groans, sitting down in Christen’s desk chair, not really thinking about it. 

Christen bites her lip, looking at her, but decides not to comment on it. She’s just sitting in her chair, it’s not like she is bothering anything. 

“What are you guys doing for dinner?” Tobin then asks, looking over at her two friends, that are both sitting on Alex’s bed. Alex had given up trying to shoo Kelley off of it. 

“I’m having dinner with Serv,” Alex comments, pulling her shoes off. “I’m going to take a shower,” she then says going into their bathroom. 

“Well, I am definitely down for some food,” Kelley comments, getting off of Alex’s bed as well. “I’m going to go and shower before any of the others try and steal it,” she says headed for the door. “Let me know when you are ready,” she says glancing at Tobin before leaving the dorm room. 

Christen watches her walk out and then looks over at Tobin who is spinning side to side in her chair, staring at her. “What?” Christen asks, suddenly very aware that she and Tobin are alone. 

“Don’t make me go to dinner alone with Kelley,” she says with a small smirk. 

Christen pulls her planner out and starts looking at it, biting down on her lip. “Okay, but I can’t be out too long,” she decides, closing the planner once again. She of course had blocked out a time for dinner so it shouldn’t hurt anything to have dinner with them instead of alone with herself. 

Tobin raises a brow at her, but decides not to say anything about the color coded planner and just nods her head. “Great.” She says simply as she starts to spin around in circles in Christen’s chair. 

Christen starts to feel a bit awkward because she’s not really sure if she should try and keep talking to Tobin or not. She’s not really sure what to say to her anyway. She hasn’t been alone with Tobin but only the one time and even then it didn’t last very long before the other girls were joining them. And admittedly, Tobin makes her a bit more nervous than the other girls do. She’s just so pretty and so cool and Christen has no idea how to act around her without embarrassing herself. 

She opens up her book and just decides to start reading, leaving Tobin be as she seems pretty preoccupied just spinning around and playing on her phone. 

But Christen can’t help but keep glancing up at the girl, just watching her. She has stopped spinning, though she’s still swinging casually from side to side as she looks pretty focused on her phone. She seems to be playing a game again, because it’s turned to the side and she’s moving the whole phone around like it’s going to help with whatever game she is trying to play. She has her brows furrowed in concentration and Christen thinks she looks adorable. 

She goes back to her book, knowing that she shouldn’t be openly staring at Tobin, but it only lasts a few more minutes before she finds herself glancing back over at the girl. But this time she looks up and sees Tobin has ditched her phone and she’s picking up a little elephant from Christen’s desk and fiddling with it. It makes Christen anxious, but once again she chooses to not say anything, because she’s still not really harming anything. 

Tobin then puts the elephant down in the wrong spot and picks up a photo from Christen’s desk looking at it for a moment then placing it back down. She starts to look at everything on Christen’s desk, picking things up to inspect them and not putting them back in the spot she got them from. Christen tries really hard to ignore it, but she can’t.

She finally can’t take it anymore and lets out a long sigh, placing her book down on her bed. “Can you please not touch my things?” She asks anxiously. She gets up from her bed and starts placing the items back perfectly on her desk where they had been originally. Just where she likes them. 

Tobin watches her with an amused look on her face, but doesn’t say anything. She just gets up out of Christen’s desk chair and moves over to Alex’s bed, lying down. “Don’t tell her,” Tobin grins, knowing that Alex won’t want Tobin’s sweaty body all over her bed. 

Christen doesn’t say anything and just moves back to her own bed when she gets the desk reorganized the way she likes it. She opens up her planner once again and starts moving some more things around to try and fit dinner in with them. 

Tobin watches her with a curious gaze as she highlights things with different color markers. Tobin can see how full the planner is and how carefully organized it seems to be with little notes all over the pages. “You are way too organized,” Tobin says with a laugh, not meaning for it to be offensive. 

But Christen frowns at the comment, shrugging her shoulders a bit uncomfortably. “I like to have a plan and know what I am doing. That way I don’t miss anything and I can make sure I get everything done that I need to get done.” She explains, as though it were normal behavior. Which for most people it is, even if she is a little more anal about it then most.

“I normally just write things down on my arm,” Tobin says honestly and the thought alone gives Christen anxiety. That is such an unreliable way to try and remember things. “Or I just wait until someone reminds me I need to be doing something, or you know they call me asking where I am,” she laughs. 

“I could never do that,” Christen says honestly. She doesn’t understand how anyone could live that way. She has to always know what is going on and what she is supposed to be doing. She goes over to her planner multiple times a day just out of fear that she is going to forget something. 

“It’s worked out for me, for the most part,” she says with a smirk. Sure, she’s forgotten a few things, but so far she hasn’t forgotten anything too important. And if she does, she’s pretty good at apologizing. She’s noticed that most people have a pretty hard time being mad at her, and she uses it to her advantage. 

Christen is a bit jealous of how chill and carefree Tobin is. She could stand to be a little bit more that way. Though, she’d never want to be quite as carefree as Tobin is. She needs more structure in her life than that.

A moment later they see Ali exiting Tobin and Ashlyn’s room and walking back to her own, making Tobin get up off the bed. “Finally,” she sighs, heading for the door. “I’ll come and grab you in about half an hour, sound good?” She asks, looking back over in Christen’s direction. 

Christen starts doing the math in her head, trying to plan out her shower and everything, making sure she has enough time to get ready and meet Tobin in said amount of time. “That sounds good,” she finally nods. 

“Cool,” Tobin answers simply before heading over to her own room. 

—-

Christen smiles at Tobin when she hears the girl knocking lightly on her open door. “Hey,” she greets, picking up her purse and making sure she has everything that she needs.

“Hey,” Tobin returns, looking back at Christen. “You look great,” she smiles. 

Christen blushes and looks down at herself. “Oh, thanks,” she says quietly. She was just wearing some jeans and a tight sleeveless plain army green shirt with her favorite black boots. She was wearing more than sweats, but she hadn’t really gotten dressed up or anything. 

“I love your hair,” Tobin comments with a smile, reaching out and gently pulling at one of Christen’s curls. 

Christen is a bit caught off guard at the close contact with Tobin and she feels her cheeks turning hot. “It’s kind of a mess,” Christen says honestly, knowing how unruly her curly hair can get. She straightened it most of her life in high school after getting bullied for so long about her natural hair. But honestly now she doesn’t feel the need to waste all the time on doing that. She doesn’t really care anymore if people make comments about it. Or so she tries to tell herself.

“Well, I really love it,” Tobin comments, still twirling a piece. 

Christen looks up and flushes, seeing the look in Tobin’s eyes. She can tell that Tobin truly means it and she’s not quite sure how to react. She’s never been used to taking compliments because honestly she’s not used to receiving them in the first place. Not from people outside of her family and that doesn’t count because she feels like they are biased and have to be nice to her. But coming from someone like Tobin, makes her feel really good.

Tobin just smiles at her and then lets her hand drop back to her side. She starts to feel a bit awkward at the almost intimate moment between the two of them, and she takes a step back, putting some space between them and clears her throat. “Are you ready?” She asks, rubbing the back of her neck. 

“Yeah,” Christen whispers, nodding her head, still feeling a little bit in a fog from her close proximity with Tobin. She can’t wipe the grin off of her face as she follows Tobin out into the hallway. 

They’re met with Kelley, Lindsey, Mal, Emily and Allie all waiting for them out in the hall. It pulls Christen out of her little bubble with Tobin, and crashing back down to reality pretty abruptly. She hadn’t realized they were all going with them as well. 

“Kelley invited a few others,” Tobin says simply with a shrug. 

Christen just nods and tries to ignore the anxiety rising within her as she follows the girls down the hallway. It’s not that she doesn’t like these girls, because she does. But she’d just been expecting a simple dinner with Tobin and Kelley. She hadn’t realized there were going to be so many people joining them. It was just something she needed to wrap her mind around and prepare for.

They walk a few blocks to a restaurant that Kelley had recommended and grab a table that fits all of them, getting situated pretty quickly. Unfortunately Christen had ended up at the end of the table next to Kelley, with Tobin on the other side of the table a few seats down. 

However, the dinner doesn’t go as bad as Christen had thought it would. She mostly just sat back in her chair, watching the chaos around her. These girls together were loud and almost disastrous but Christen finds them pretty hilarious. She’d been content to just sit back and enjoy her meal while watching the entertainment. 

Her eyes keep finding Tobin who is pretty quiet around them as well, though she seems a lot more comfortable than Christen does. She’s just watching them with a smile on her face, only joining in to make fun of them or make a sarcastic remark here and there. 

One of the times Christen finds herself staring at Tobin, Tobin looks back at her, catching Christen’s eyes. Tobin just sends her a wink, making Christen blush and look back down at her plate, moving her fork around mindlessly, feeling embarrassed by being caught staring.

“I’m going to pee,” Kelley stands up and drags Emily with her, but not before Mal gets up saying she has to go as well. 

Tobin just shakes her head laughing at them as they go and she looks back over to Christen who is once again looking at her. She gets up from the table and moves around, sitting down in the seat that Kelley had been occupying. “How’s the salmon?” She asks, nodding down to Christen’s plate. 

“Good,” Christen nods, and honestly it was one of the best salmon dishes she has had. “How was your burger?” She asks with a smirk, choosing to not comment on Tobin’s eating habits. 

“Good,” Tobin grins and then reaches across the table for her club soda. “I feel like I am going to explode though,” Tobin says letting out a heavy but content sigh and leaning back in the chair. “You’ve been quiet,” Tobin comments. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders a bit awkwardly. “I don’t really know anyone or know what so say,” she says quietly. 

Tobin nods her head but doesn’t push Christen any further. She’s not used to being around such a shy person, being so used to most of the teammates being wild and very outspoken. They were always talking over each other and fighting to get the last word in. It was kind of refreshing to see someone so calm. Though, she’s not sure how to talk to someone so reserved. She doesn’t want to cross any lines, like she’d already found herself doing a couple of times with Christen. 

They spot the there’s coming back from the bathroom, giggling and shoving each other as they walk back over to the table. Tobin just shakes her head at them. “They’re wild,” she laughs. 

Christen nods in agreement, watching them as well. “They’re funny.” 

Tobin nods and catches Kelley looking at her confused, because she was in her chair. Tobin just nods over to the one she had been sitting in previously and Kelley sits in it with a shrug, not seeming too bothered as she goes back to talking to her friends. 

Tobin looks back over at Christen with a smile. “They are definitely entertaining,” she laughs. “Last year it was just Kelley and Allie with the pranks and hijinx, but now there are 5 of them,” she says, her eyes wide at the thought of it. 

Christen just giggles and Tobin looks at her endearingly, loving the sound of her laugh. She doesn’t get to hear it too often. Christen always seems so nervous and timid when she is around them. 

Christen watches her teammates with a fond smile and wishes that she could join in on all the laughter and joke around with them. But the thought of acting like that not only in a public place but even just with the girls, makes her feel anxious. She doesn’t like the attention to be on her. She just prefers to sit in the background and watch. 

“Toby, pass me my drink,” Kelley says, making grabby hands across the table. 

Tobin just laughs and passes the girl’s club soda over to her.

“So, how is living with Alex?” Tobin then asks, turning attention back over to Christen and ignoring her unruly friends. She really just wants to get to know Christen. It’s not like she had planned on this being a one on one dinner or anything, but she had been a little disappointed when a lot of the other girls decided to join in on the dinner.

“It’s good so far,” Christen shrugs. It’s only been a few days so it’s hard to tell, but so far she doesn’t think that living with Alex is going to be that hard. “We pretty much just keep to ourselves,” Christen answers. 

“You guys are pretty similar,” Tobin comments, which confuses Christen. She doesn’t think she is anything like Alex. Not that it would be a bad thing because there is nothing wrong with the girl and honestly Christen doesn’t even know Alex that well. She’s just never really tried to compare herself to the gorgeous woman. 

“You don’t even know me,” Christen says honestly. 

Tobin once again gives her a casual shrug and takes a sip of her club soda. “Maybe not yet,” she says, giving Christen another wink, and making her blush again. “But you are both from the same area, you are both really smart, you guys both are a little uptight,” she says, making Christen frown at her. “Sorry,” Tobin quickly apologizes. “It’s not necessarily a bad thing,” she then adds. 

“It seems like it,” Christen mumbles. 

“It’s who you are and if scheduling your whole day out, and over organizing your things is what makes you happy then that is okay,” Tobin says, and Christen still isn’t really sure if she should be offended or not. Though she knows it’s all true. “I do think you could use a bit more fun in your life though,” she says honestly. “I mean, Alex has loosened up a lot after being around us for so long and of course now that she has a boyfriend, but she used to be pretty bad as well.” Tobin informs her. 

Christen just shifts a bit uncomfortably. “I’m sorry,” she mumbles, not really knowing what else to say. 

“Hey,” Tobin says, reaching out to play with a strand of Christen’s hair. “Don’t ever apologize for being you,” she tells her, making eye contact with the green eyed girl. “I like who you are,” she tells her honestly. 

Christen can’t help but smile at her. “I guess I could probably have some more fun,” she finds herself admitting. “It’s just not easy for me. I just want to succeed and sometimes I get a little lost in that.” 

“I get it,” Tobin nods. Even though she’s never really been that hard on herself. She definitely knows what it is like to want to be the best. She’s always been that way about soccer. And she has always worked very hard at it, but thankfully it had come pretty easy to her. She just loves it so much, it had never felt like she was working. “But, I’m here when you want to have that fun,” she says with a smile. 

Christen isn’t really sure what to say so she reaches out for her club soda and takes a drink, just needing to do something with her hands. She feels anxious under Tobin’s intense gaze. “So did you and Alex used to date?” Christen finds herself asking. Though she’s not really sure why. It’s not really her business, but she kind of can't stop thinking about it.

She’d been pretty curious about it after watching the two interact with each other for the past few days. She knows that Alex has a boyfriend now and Tobin seemingly doesn’t want a relationship, but she can’t help but pick up on some vibes between the two. They just seem to know each other so well. 

Tobin finds it funny though and laughs at the question. “No, we did not ever date,” she informs her. “I maybe tried to sleep with her when we first met, but I didn’t want anything more than that,” she says. “I just thought she was hot,” she shrugs. 

It makes Christen feel a bit better, but she also doesn’t like to think about Tobin wanting to sleep with Alex. It brings back that weird unsettling feeling in her stomach. 

“Besides, she is totally straight,” Tobin comments, putting her arm around Christen’s chair and leaning in a bit closer to her. “What about you? Are you straight?” Tobin then asks boldly. 

Christen is a bit caught off guard and just about chokes on her drink. She places it back down on the table and shifts a bit uncomfortably. “Uh...no,” she says truthfully and doesn’t miss the way Tobin’s eyes light up. 

“Are you dating anyone?” She asks and Christen starts to get nervous again. She is also very aware of how close Tobin is to her.

“No,” she says simply. Honestly she has never dated anyone. Nobody in school ever liked her like that. Not that she ever made the time for anyone anyway. “I’m just focusing on school and soccer. I don’t really want the distraction,” she shrugs, subtly leaning back a bit, to try and put some space between the two of them. She can’t seem to think straight with Tobin so close.

Tobin nods her head and just continues staring at Christen. She lets her eyes trail up and down the girl, biting down on her bottom lip. Christen swallows a bit nervously under the girl’s intense gaze, not really sure what to do. 

Before anything else can be said, the server comes back around, handing everyone their checks. 

Tobin curses under her breath and Christen happily takes the check from the woman, happy for the interruption. Things were getting a bit too intense between the two of them and she wasn’t really sure how to handle it. She’d never had anyone look at her the way Tobin was looking at her. It made her feel good, but also scared as hell. 

Before she can hand her card over to the server, Tobin grabs the check out of her hand and tries to pay for it herself. But Christen is quicker this time and grabs her check back, also grabbing Tobin’s and handing it over to the server. 

“Hey,” Tobin frowns, but there isn’t much she can do about it now. 

“What? You bought me breakfast,” she tells her matter of fact. 

Tobin just pouts and starts fiddling with her glass on the table. “Yeah well, that was super cheap. It was just coffee and some gross yogurt stuff,” she grumbles. 

Christen just smiles at her, looking like a toddler pouting about something. “Why do you always like to pay for everything?” Christen asks curiously. 

Tobin just shrugs and looks back over at Christen. “I have the money so I like to spend it on the people that I care about,” she says honestly. 

Christen feels a little flutter in her stomach at the words Tobin uses and the thought of being someone that Tobin cares about. “Well you can pay next time,” she says with a smile. 

Tobin grins widely at her and nods her head. “Deal,” she says satisfied with the answer because it means this won’t be the last time they get to hang out together. 

The girls start to get restless as soon as they pay their bills and decide that it’s time to go. Christen and Tobin hang back, casually walking down the sidewalk, letting the others run and jump ahead of them. Tobin smirks because she honestly feels like she’s their parent and she’s letting them run off some energy so they can sleep later that night. 

Honestly, a lot of times she finds herself running around with them as well, but right now she just wants to walk with Christen. She glances over at the girl and notices her walking with her arms tightly across her chest, shaking slightly. 

“Are you cold?” Tobin asks curiously, feeling a bit warm herself. 

Christen just nods her head and Tobin smirks at her. 

“Such a Cali girl,” she rolls her eyes, but has a fond smile on her face. She takes her coat off of her own body and puts it around Christen’s shoulders. “You’re in Oregon now, Press,” She adds as she helps Christen to put the jacket on properly. 

Christen lets out a huff but smiles appreciatively at Tobin. “Where are you from?” She asks curiously. 

“New Jersey,” she responds. “I’m used to the cold,” she adds, not being bothered without a coat on as they walk towards the dorms. 

When they get upstairs they watch as the other girls all make their way to their own room, some of them joining each other to continue the night. Tobin just shakes her head at her crazy friends before turning back to Christen. She can’t help but appreciate how good the girl looks in her coat.

“Thank you for the coat,” Christen smiles, taking it off and handing it back over to Tobin. A part of her had wanted to keep it because it was so warm and cozy and it even smelt like Tobin which was even more comforting. But that would be weird right? 

“Sure,” Tobin shrugs, taking the coat back and then stuffing her hands in her pockets, standing there a bit awkwardly, not really wanting to go into her room yet. “Have a good night,” she finally says with a smile, not really sure what else to say to her. 

“You too,” Christen nods, but neither of them make any effort to move or go into their own rooms. 

Finally Tobin lets out a small chuckle, rolling her eyes at herself and pulls Christen into a hug. She’s never been this awkward around a girl in her life. She feels like she’s going crazy.

Christen tenses for a brief moment, not really expecting the hug. But then she practically melts into Tobin’s embrace. She’s never really been a fan of physical contact except from her family, but she absolutely loves the feeling of being in Tobin’s strong arms. She’s so warm that it makes Christen nuzzle her nose into the girl’s neck, holding her closer. 

“I’m glad you came to dinner with us,” Tobin mumbles into Christen’s hair. 

“Me too,” Christen answers truthfully. 

They both enjoy the blissfulness of the hug for probably a moment too long, when Tobin finally pulls away. She laughs awkwardly and gives Christen a smile through her embarrassment. “I’ll see you later, Press,” she tells her before opening the door to her dorm and walking inside. 

“Bye, Tobin,” Christen smiles as she watches her disappear through the door. 

She lets out a blissful sigh and turns to walk into her own dorm room, not being able to wipe the smile from her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! Leave some comments on your thoughts or if you have any questions! 
> 
> Feel free to talk to me on tumblr as well! I'll probably start posting some previews and of course answering any questions that you guys have as we get more into the story! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys again for all of the comments you have left! I appreciate all of them. 
> 
> This chapter is a bit longer than the last few because I know this story is moving a bit slow and I feel you deserve a bit more! I promise it'll start picking up from here! 
> 
> Enjoy..

It’s been over a week now since Christen has been at the University of Portland and it’s not nearly as bad as she thought it would be. The classes are definitely harder than in high school, but so far they aren’t proving to be anything that she can’t handle. 

As far as her social life goes, it’s changed drastically since she was in high school. Sure, she doesn’t go out with the girls as often as they hang out with each other, but she has been hanging out a lot more than she ever did in high school. Even if it’s just small conversations in the dorm room or the hallway. She’s starting to think that for the first time in her life she could have a chance of making some friends. 

She had coffee with Ali a couple of days ago and she’d really enjoyed herself. Ali was a nice change from some of the other girl’s she’d found herself hanging around with. Not that she didn’t like them as well, but Ali had a calming nature to her that Christen enjoyed. They’d had some good conversations and it was more than just the other girls being loud and a little nosy. 

Ali was also probably one of the sweetest girls that she had met so far and could tell that Ali was doing everything she could to make Christen comfortable. She was asking her questions about her life, but she knew when to back off and when to just let them sit in a comfortable silence. She hadn’t told Ali about her anxiety or anything but it was like Ali just knew. 

And then there was Tobin. She hadn’t gotten to spend much more time with her since they all had dinner together a few nights ago. She’d seen her at practice of course and ran into her in the hallway but she hasn’t really gotten to spend much time alone with her. Anytime they are all in a group she just sort of fades into the background and doesn't really get to have a word in.

She doesn’t really mind though, she has still been enjoying just being around the girls. And honestly, the thought of spending more alone time with Tobin makes her a bit nervous. Things had been pretty intense the last time they were together and she was starting to feel things she wasn’t used to. And honestly, she doesn’t need any distractions right now. She just needs to focus on school and soccer and not how happy Tobin makes her feel. And how she finds herself always wanting to be around the girl.

Even if she and Tobin were completely different people, she just felt herself gravitating towards the woman for some reason. Christen is a bit uptight, as it has been pointed out by Tobin. And Tobin is a carefree spirit, not wanting any rules or structure in her life. Sometimes her attitude drives Christen a bit crazy, but at the same time, she just loves being around her and surprisingly finds herself enjoying her carefree nature. Even if it does make her anxiety go up sometimes, she also feels herself wanting to let loose a bit more when she is around Tobin. 

She gets pulled from her thoughts when she feels someone breeze past her, almost knocking her over in the process. She clutches onto the straps of her backpack and takes in a deep anxious breath. “Sorry,” she mumbles, though it hadn’t even been her fault. 

She looks over at the person and just sees Tobin standing on a longboard smiling at her. “Totally my fault,” Tobin tells her, the grin still firmly on her face. “I saw you over here and I was trying to catch up to you. I guess I got going a little too fast,” she says, chuckling at herself. 

Christen just smiles back at her, feeling more relaxed now knowing that it was just Tobin and she wasn’t about to get into it with some stranger for being in their way. “Well, you caught up to me,” she smiles. 

Tobin just nods and then feels a bit awkward. She’d been so excited to see Christen that she hadn’t really even thought about it before rushing over to her. Now she doesn’t really know what to say. “Are you headed to practice?” She asks though she already knows the answer, considering they have practice in just 10 minutes. It’s where she is headed as well. 

“Yeah,” Christen smiles. 

“Want a ride?” Tobin offers, pointing down to the longboard. 

Christen raises a brow at her. “Seriously?” She can’t help but laugh. “No way,” she then says, realizing Tobin was actually offering. 

Tobin just laughs and shrugs her shoulders. She starts riding slowly, so that she can still be next to Christen as the girl starts walking down the sidewalk again. “Are you ready for our first game tomorrow?” She asks excitedly. 

Christen nods and chews on her lip. “I am, but I’m a bit nervous too,” she admits quietly. “Though, I doubt I’ll even get any playing time,” she shrugs as an afterthought. 

Tobin kicks the ground, making herself keep rolling next to Christen as she tries to awkwardly keep herself balanced at such a slow pace. “I don’t know, you may get subbed in,” she tells her honestly. “I mean it’s not a great team we are playing against and it’s still preseason so they may give you a chance. Coach likes to see what everyone can do.” She says, trying to make Christen feel a bit better about the game. 

“Maybe,” Christen says with a frown, still not very convinced. “Which is more nerve wracking because if I do get put in, I’ll really need to prove myself.” 

“Christen, you are seriously amazing. You really shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” she says with a small sigh. “If you don’t believe me then just know that you made this team and they don’t choose just anyone,” she adds confidently. “I don’t know if you have noticed but our team is the best and we only accept the best,” she winks. 

Christen just laughs at her, grateful that Tobin is trying to lighten the mood and make her feel better. It may not have made her any less nervous for the game, but she is just enjoying her time with Tobin and appreciative of how caring the girl is. 

They finally get into the locker room and see most of the girls already there, playing some loud music and dancing around just like they always are. Kelley and Emily are in the middle of the room doing some dance as Mal records them, not being able to stop laughing. 

Tobin glances over at Christen and just shakes her head, neither of them being able to stop themselves from laughing at their teammates. Emily actually is a really good dancer, but Kelley just looks ridiculous trying to keep up with her. 

“Kelley are you having a hard time keeping up with the kids?” Tobin asks jokingly as she walks across the room, blocking their shot. 

Kelley huffs and shoves Tobin out of the way. “Do you even know what Tik Tok is, Toby?” She asks accusingly. 

Tobin raises a brow at her friend with a smirk. “No,” she says, not caring at all that she doesn’t know. Nor does she care. 

Christen just giggles to herself, watching the friends interact with each other. It’s always pretty entertaining when they are all together. But now it’s time for practice and it’s the day before their first game so she needs to get into her zone. She tries to block out all the chatter as she walks over to her locker to start getting ready and pumping herself up. 

—-

Christen takes a long shower after practice and then decides that she should go to the cafe to pick up a quick dinner. She plans on spending the next few hours focusing on her homework and doesn’t really want to take the time to actually go out to dinner somewhere and waste a part of her night. Plus, they had a game tomorrow and she really just wants to have a relaxing night on her own and not have to worry about her anxiety and being around a lot of people.

When she gets there she sees some of the other girls had the same idea because Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin and Megan are all sitting at a table together. 

She grabs a quick salad and glances over at her teammates who haven’t seemed to notice her presence. She considers walking over to them, but decides she should just go up to her room. She doesn’t really want to disturb them, plus she just wants to be alone tonight. 

However, she hears her name being called before she can reach the door. 

She turns back to her teammates and sees Ashlyn waving her over. She bites her lip and then gives them a small smile before walking over, figuring that she should at least tell them hi. Honestly she still feels a bit awkward and like she isn’t completely a part of their group yet. Not enough to just walk over and join them without some sort of invite. 

“Hey Pressi,” Ashlyn greets with a smile. “Come and sit with us,” she invites. 

“Yeah, we saw you trying to sneak out of here,” Pinoe says with a smirk, just messing with her.

But, Christen blushes and looks away nervously. “Oh, I was just going to head back to my room and study. I wasn’t trying to sneak away,” she explains to them, even though she’s pretty sure they were just joking with her. 

“Boo, come hang out with us,” Ashlyn replies. 

Christen just smiles at her and then turns towards Tobin who pats the seat next to her, inviting Christen to sit down. Christen takes a few steps towards Tobin but she doesn’t sit down.

“I’m just going to eat my room, sorry guys,” she apologizes. She really does need to study. Even if she does feel a bit compelled to sit down next to Tobin and join them. 

“Do you ever eat anything that isn’t healthy?” Tobin comments, noticing the salad in Christen’s hand as she takes a bite of her fried chicken sandwich. 

Christen just rolls her eyes, giving Tobin a smile. “Well, I can eat my weight in French fries,” she informs them and then blushes, a bit embarrassed at the random fact she’d just told them. 

Tobin starts laughing and holds her plate up, offering Christen some of her French fries. 

Christen bites her lip and shyly takes a fry from Tobin’s plate. “Thanks,” she says softly, taking a bite. She has a hard time turning down French fries. They’re her favorite.

“Take more than that,” Tobin says, raising her plate higher for Christen to grab a few more. 

Christen just grins wider and grabs a few more of the fries. “Thanks,” she says again, munching on the delicious potato. “But, I really am just going to go back to the room,” she says softly, hoping they won’t be too upset with her. She still doesn’t feel like she’s friends with them and the last thing she wants to do is make them not like her. 

“It’s fine,” Ali says giving Christen a comforting smile. “We are just about done anyway,” she tells her. “Have a good night, alright?” She adds, before any of the others can protest. 

Christen nods and gives them all another glance. When her eyes land on Tobin again, she can’t help but smile at the girl. “You guys have a good night, too,” she says to all of them, though she doesn’t take her eyes off the lanky brunette. 

Tobin smiles back at her and offers her one more French fry before Christen goes back to her dorm room. 

But when she gets back to her dorm room she sees Alex sitting on her bed with a guy laying next to her. She assumes it’s Alex’s boyfriend, but she’s not really sure because she actually hasn’t even met him yet. He’d been at the bar a when they went last week, but she’d never really gotten introduced to him and it had been pretty dark in there.

“Hey, Christen,” Alex greets with a smile. “This is Servando, my boyfriend,” she informs her with a wide grin on her face. 

“Oh, hi,” Christen mumbles, feeling a bit awkward. She places her bags down on her bed as well as her salad and then smiles at the boy. “I’m Christen,” she says, even though Alex had just said her name. She reaches her hand out for the boy to shake and he gives her a funny look. The same one that both Tobin and Alex had given her when she introduced herself. 

“She does that,” Alex shrugs. Christen is a bit confused because she never really thought it was weird shaking someone’s hand. That’s what people do when they meet, right?

Servando just smiles widely at her and shakes Christen’s hand in return. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you,” he says politely before lying back on the bed with Alex. “Alex tells me you are coming for her spot on the national team,” he says with a wink. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she shakes her head furiously. “Oh, no, I’m not trying to take anyone’s spot,” she assures them quickly. Though if she does want to make the team, she supposes she will be taking a spot away from someone. It’s just how it works. 

“He’s joking,” Alex says, giving him a small shove.

Christen just nods her head, still a bit uneasy. She turns away from them and starts unloading her backpack with the textbooks and notebooks that she is going to need to start studying and doing her homework. 

She picks up her salad and moves over to her desk to start working and glances over at the couple across the room. They don’t seem to be paying her any mind as they continue watching whatever they had been watching on Alex’s laptop. 

But, Christen still feels a bit awkward. They definitely don’t say anything about wanting privacy or make Christen feel like she should leave. But Christen kind of feels that way anyway. And she knows that it’s just in her head but it doesn’t make it any less real for her. 

She takes a few bites of her salad, trying to ignore them and push out the awkwardness that she is feeling. She stares down at her textbook while she eats, but she’s not really absorbing anything that is on the page. She’s just feeling to anxious to really be able to focus. With a sigh, she pushes her textbook away from her and just continues eating, hearing the chatter from whatever movie is playing on Alex’s laptop, the rest of the room quiet. 

Once she finishes eating, she throws all of her trash away and then sits back down at her desk, deciding that she should really study now. Though, she’s still having a hard time focusing. 

She chews on her bottom lip contemplating what to do. She knows that she needs to do some homework because it’s what she has planned for this time of day in her planner. And no, she doesn’t have homework due the next day or a big test or anything, but that doesn’t mean she needs to start slacking off or risk getting behind. Though, she knows she won’t be able to concentrate with them in the room. She just feels too awkward and like she is intruding on their time. Which is crazy, because it’s her room too. 

With a sigh, she closes her text book and glances back over at the couple who are just cuddling, happily watching their movie. She gets up from her chair and walks over to her dresser grabbing a change of clothes. She had planned on studying for awhile and then going out to practice, but she supposes she can just switch the two around and it won’t cause her too much stress.

She heads into the bathroom, thankful that nobody is in there and quickly changes into some leggings and a T-shirt, but then throws a hoodie over herself, knowing that it’s pretty chilly out. 

And figuring it’ll probably just get colder as the sun sets, she grabs another jacket and her gloves before grabbing a pair of sneakers. “I’m going to go to the fields,” she tells the couple, though she’s not too sure if they really care. 

“You don’t have to leave, Christen,” Alex tells her with a frown. 

“It’s okay. I was planning on going anyway,” she shrugs, not wanting Alex to feel bad or like her boyfriend needs to leave or something. “I’ll be back later,” she tells them before grabbing her bag and heading out the door. 

When she gets to the fields she flashes her ID at the security guard who lets her in with no problem. Thankfully the members of the team had the privilege to come and go as they pleased and also had access to most of the training equipment. The coaches definitely encourage extra practice then what they call for. 

She walks onto the field, pushing a rack of balls with her and is surprised to see a figure already there. She frowns a bit, but as she gets closer she sees the familiar lanky form juggling a ball with her feet. 

Christen smiles when Tobin looks up and sees her, losing the ball in the process. “Sorry,” Christen says, clearly startling the girl. 

Tobin just shrugs and chases after the ball. “It’s okay,” she says, turning back and dribbling the ball towards Christen. “I see you were prepared today,” Tobin says with a grin, nodding at the gloves and extra jacket that Christen has. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders as she notices Tobin just wearing shorts and a thin hoodie. “It’s cold,” she grumbles, putting the gloves on her hands. 

Tobin smiles and shakes her head. “Such a Cali girl,” she grins. 

Christen rolls her eyes at Tobin but smiles, walking past her. She walks further on the field and starts lining the balls up perfectly for her to shoot into the goal. She can feel Tobin watching her, but she doesn’t comment on it. She just continues as she normally does. 

After a few shots, she glances over her shoulder and sees Tobin in the midfield doing some dribbling exercises with orange cones. She pauses briefly, watching the woman because damn she was skilled with the ball. Christen knew that already from watching her on the national team, and seeing her at practice but watching her in her zone without all the other chaos around is a whole other thing. She’s so focused on what she is doing and Christen can’t seem to look away from her.

After a moment, she takes in a breath and tries to stop herself from being distracted by muscular calf muscles and goes back to taking her shots. 

“Hey, do you want to play with me?” Tobin asks after a moment and Christen can hear that she has gotten closer to her. 

Christen takes another shot before turning to see that Tobin is standing right on the end of her lined up balls. “I need to finish this first,” Christen tells her, taking another shot, and then another. 

Tobin just watches as she takes shot after shot until she’s used all the balls that she had lined up. She then watches her run around the field gathering them all up and lining them back up perfectly again. She almost volunteers to help the girl out, but Christen doesn’t seem to need any help. Plus, the way she is so meticulously lining the balls up, Tobin assumes she’d just do it wrong if she tried to help. She’d started picking up on the girl’s OCD tendencies and she didn’t want to upset her.

“How many of those do you do?” Tobin asks curiously. 

“200. Every day,” she answers simply, starting up again. 

Tobin widens her eyes and lets out a whistle. “Damn,” she says with a nod, impressed. “Well then I guess I’ll leave you alone,” she says and then dribbles her ball back into the midfield to continue her exercises. Though she can’t help but feel distracted, just watching as Christen perfectly shoots all of her balls letting them curl perfectly into the net, no matter from where she is shooting. Christen is honestly so good and Tobin knows for sure that she’s going to be on the national team with her before long. 

After a moment, Tobin doesn’t even pretend to be practicing anymore and is just sitting down on a ball, watching Christen. She’s now put some of the mannequins out in front of the goal to give herself more of a challenge. And she’s still curling them perfectly past them and into the back of the net.

Christen doesn’t even notice Tobin, being too focused on what she is doing. That is until she stops briefly to take a drink of water from her water bottle. She meets Tobin’s eyes and suddenly feels a bit shy, realizing Tobin had been watching her. She’s never really liked having a spotlight on her or having people just watch her so intensely. Of course, people watch her during games, but the rest of the team is out on the field with her as well as the opponents and it doesn’t feel quite the same. 

“You are really such a good striker,” Tobin tells her, standing up and walking closer to her. “I love watching you,” she admits, not even caring that she had been caught staring. “It’s nice to see someone else that seems to care as much as I do. I mean, I know that everyone on this team cares and everyone wants to do well, but I’ve always just breathed soccer and I’m always wanting to be out here and improving. It seems like you are the same,” she explains to her. “I get told sometimes that I care about soccer more than anything else. Or even anyone else,” she says with a small frown. 

Christen nods her head, understanding exactly what Tobin is talking about. “I have too,” she agrees. “I always chose soccer over everything and I still do,” she informs her. “I love it.” 

Tobin gives her a smile, nodding her head and the two just stand in silence for a moment as Christen drinks some more of her water. “I’m about to head back to the dorms, do you want me to wait on you?” Tobin asks, picking her ball up from the ground. 

Christen almost wants to take the offer just so she can talk to Tobin longer, but she knows that she needs to finish. “I’m going to finish my shots. I’m only at 100,” she tells her, placing her water bottle back down. 

“Okay,” Tobin nods and watches as Christen starts to gather up the balls again to line up. Tobin almost waits on her to just watch her finish up, but she decides that she should probably just leave the girl be. She’s pretty focused and she doesn’t really seem like she wants the distraction. And Tobin respects that. “I’ll see you later,” she calls after her, before exiting the field. 

—-

Another hour later, Christen finally drags herself off the field once her legs felt like they were about to give out beneath her. When she gets up to her room she sees Tobin and Ashlyn’s door open like it normally is. She glances into the doorway, trying not to look too obvious that she’s looking inside. 

She sees Ashlyn laying on her bed talking with Megan and Tobin lying on her own bed, wrapped up into the conversation with them as well. But Tobin glances up, as if she had sensed Christen standing there and she instantly smiles at her. She’s changed out of her work out clothes and had clearly just gotten out of the shower because her hair was still wet, laying against her shoulders.

“Press! I’m surprised you can still walk,” Tobin shouts with a grin, making the other two girls turn their head, just now noticing Christen there. “She takes 200 shots everyday,” Tobin informs Ashlyn and Pinoe who look just as impressed as she had been. 

“Don’t wear yourself out,” Pinoe tells her with a smile. “We may need you tomorrow,” she comments. 

“Yeah, this old lady can’t play a full 90 minutes anymore,” Ashlyn jokes, pointing over to Pinoe. 

Megan shoves her, looking offended. “I am not old,” she says matter of fact. “I’m just saying that Press here is obviously here to take all of our spots,” she says with a wink, and Christen looks a bit alarmed at the second person who had told her that today. She definitely wasn’t trying to do that. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you get to play tomorrow.” 

Christen blushes, feeling embarrassed at the praise and ducks her head. She looks up bashfully and catches Tobin’s eye, the girl smiling widely at her. She looks so proud and it just makes Christen feel even more shy. Something about the way Tobin is looking at her, makes her stomach flutter with butterflies. 

“You want to come hang out with us? I’m about to kick their ass at mario kart,” Tobin asks her with a smirk, ignoring the protests coming from her two friends. She just waves her hand at them, brushing them off as they continue to argue that she definitely won’t kick their ass. She keeps her focus on Christen, giving her a hopeful look. 

Christen giggles at the clear competitiveness between the friends but shakes her head. “I’m going to shower and get some studying done,” she mumbles at them, still feeling a bit shy. “I went to the fields after I saw you guys in the cafe and still haven’t gotten started,” she tells them with a small shrug. 

“So really you just ditched us to go and play soccer? You could have just invited us!” Ashlyn says with a playful look, though she’s trying to sound offended. 

“I was with her,” Tobin says almost smugly. 

Christen glances at her, giving her a smile and then back to the other two girls. “I was going to study but Servando was in the room with Alex so I just wanted to give them some privacy,” she explains. “And I normally just go out by myself and practice some shots,” she shrugs, hoping they weren’t actually upset that she hadn’t invited them to go with her. 

“Well, Servando left a bit ago so you should be safe,” Tobin informs her. 

Christen nods and lets out a small relieved sigh at the information. “Thanks,” she says quietly. “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Okay well we will be here if you change your mind and feel like getting your ass kicked at Mario Kart,” Tobin tells her with a grin. “Or you know, if you just want some entertainment and want to watch me kick their asses,” she adds. 

Christen smiles as the three of them get into another argument over the game and she shakes her head. She decides to take it as her cue and she slowly walks back into the hallway and into her own dorm room before they can even notice that she was gone. 

She is happy to see that Servando is in fact gone and it’s just Alex laying on her bed with a text book. She gives Christen a small smile, acknowledging her presence before returning to her studying again, not saying anything.

Christen smiles back, a little wider than she normally would, feeling pretty relaxed and happy in the moment. Going out on the field always helped to ease her anxiety and she wouldn’t lie and say that seeing Tobin didn’t have something to do with that smile either. 

—-

The next morning Christen had actually gotten up and gone down to the student gym to check out the small room that was used mostly for people to do yoga. Thankfully, there hadn’t been anyone in the room and she was pretty sure it didn’t get used very often, which was a good thing for her. She’d finally gotten to finish an entire session and was feeling pretty relaxed. 

Though it didn’t take long for the anxiety to start seeping back into her brain as it got closer and closer to game night. It’s almost as if the yoga and the meditation was pointless. Though it had made her feel better at the time and honestly she’s pretty sure she’d be even more anxious if she hadn’t gotten up and done it. 

She makes her way back to her dorm room and sees Ashlyn and Ali standing in the hallway talking. She smiles at the couple and gives them a wave as she approaches them. 

“Morning, Christen,” Ali greets her with a bright smile. “Were you working out?” She asks, taking notice of the yoga pants and sports bra Christen was wearing with just a light jacket that is unzipped. 

“I did some yoga and meditation,” she informs them with a nod. “Helps me relax.”

“We’re about to get some coffee, you want to join us?” Ashlyn asks her with a smile. 

Christen nods, her eyes lighting up at the sound of caffeine. She’d planned on putting her things away and just getting some crappy coffee from the cafe downstairs but going to a coffee shop definitely sounds better. “Sure, let me put my stuff away,” she tells them with a nod. 

She walks into her dorm and puts her bag and mat behind her bed. She had planned on inviting Alex to be nice, but the girl wasn’t in the room anymore. She looks down at herself and decides not to make her teammates wait on her so she just zips the jacket up and grabs her wallet. 

When she walks back into the hallway she sees them still standing there waiting on her and she gives them a smile. “Is Tobin coming?” She asks, glancing into their dorm room to try and catch a glimpse of the girl. 

Ashlyn shrugs her shoulders. “We tried but she’s being lame” she says, raising her voice so that Tobin could hear her from inside their dorm. Christen laughs and fully looks into the room to see Tobin just lounging on her bed, playing with her Nintendo switch. “Tobs, Christen is asking if you are coming with us,” Ashlyn then says, peaking into the room as well. 

At the mention of Christen, her head jerks up. “Hi,” she says with a wide smile, seeing Christen standing in the doorway. 

“Hey,” Christen greets back, a smile just as wide as Tobin’s. 

“It’s her hard chill day,” Ashlyn says, rolling her eyes. 

Christen gives her a confused look. “What is that?” 

Tobin lets out a chuckle and places her hand behind her head, looking more relaxed than ever. “I like to hard chill on game days. I try not to get my heart rate above like 20,” she says with a shrug. 

Christen’s brows furrow. “That would be dangerous,” she states as though it were obvious. 

Tobin just laughs at her. “I was exaggerating,” she informs her, “But really, I don’t do anything.” 

“Oh okay,” Christen says, a bit disappointed that Tobin didn’t want to hang out with them. Though, she can do what she wants and Christen definitely understands having a routine on game day. She respects that and decides that she shouldn’t argue with her. 

“We will be at the usual spot if you decide to get up today,” Ashlyn tells her before leading the others down the hallway. 

—-

They get settled at a table, coffee’s in hand and also a fresh pressed juice. Christen feels a bit like a third wheel with the couple, though they don’t seem to be excluding her from anything. They aren’t overly touchy or anything either so she knows that it is just in her head. They’ve both been very nice to her and she knows she has no need to be anxious. She’s even hung out with Ali before and had a great time, she’s just never really spent much time with Ashlyn. 

“So you meditate?” Ali asks curiously, taking a sip of her latte. 

Christen nods her head in response, a smile forming on her face. “I do,” she confirms. “I’m still just kind of getting started in it though. My little sister is the one that got me into it. She’s been reading all kinds of books and things on it and she’s taken a bunch of classes. She wants to go to India to study it more when she graduates high school,” she explains to them. “It’s pretty cool and it is really helpful when I need to relax.” 

Ali just nods her head. “I’ve always wanted to try it, but I haven’t. Also yoga,” she comments. 

Ashlyn smirks at her and then looks over at Christen. “I would not be opposed to you teaching my girl some yoga moves,” she says with a wink. 

Christen blushes slightly and looks down at her coffee, but she can see Ali slapping her shoulder. “You are such a perv,” she hears Ali mumble quietly, though she can hear the amusement in Ali’s voice.

“Toby!” Christen then hears Ashlyn shout, which confuses her. She looks up at Ashlyn and then follows her gaze over to the door where they see Tobin casually strolling in. She’s in some shorts, a hoodie and her usual SnapBack. Christen feels her heart pounding a bit faster at the sight of her. “Look who decided to get her heart rate past 20,” Ashlyn says with a smirk as the girl approaches them. 

Tobin rolls her eyes at her friend, but smiles. “You are lucky. I don’t get out of bed on game day for just anyone,” she tells her and then her eyes fall on Christen. 

Christen blushes slightly. She’s pretty sure that the comment hadn’t been meant for her, but she still feels her heart fluttering. 

“I need some coffee,” Tobin mumbles. 

“Coffee will raise your heart rate above 20,” Christen comments with a smirk. 

Tobin raises a brow at her unexpected sarcastic remark, and the other two women at the table burst out into laughter, obviously amused. 

“Shut up,” is all Tobin grumbles, a playful smile on her face before she heads over to the counter to get her own cup of coffee. 

“So, Christen, do you have anyone coming to the game tonight?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

Christen nods her head, smiling. “My parents and both of my sisters, actually,” she tells them happily. “They all live in LA so it’s not terribly far. They’ve always just been really supportive of me and soccer. My dad has traveled all over with me for soccer camps,” she informs them. “He is always so excited to watch me play,” she adds with a fond smile. 

“That’s really cute,” Ali tells her with a grin.

Christen just turns a bit shy and shrugs her shoulders, fiddling with her coffee cup. “It’s not like I’ll probably get any minutes,” she says with a frown. “I told them they shouldn’t worry about traveling up here,” she adds. 

“I don’t know if that is true,” Ashlyn comments. “I bet you’ll get some. Maybe not a whole half or anything, but I’m sure they’ll sub you in at some point.” 

“Yeah, you’re really good. I can’t wait to see what you can do tonight,” Ali tells her with a smile. Of course she has seen her at practice but actually performing in a game is a whole other level. 

“I tried to tell her that,” Tobin comments, joining them at the table. She sits down next to Christen and gives her a smile. “She won’t listen though,” she tells them with a small sigh. 

“I guess we will find out tonight,” Ashlyn tells her with a shrug, figuring there is no point to keep telling Christen the same thing over and over again. She probably won’t believe them anyway. “Also the whole team goes out after the game, it’s sort of a tradition. Your family is more than welcome to come. Some of the other girls have family and friends join us as well,” Ashlyn informs her. 

Christen bites down on her lip. “Maybe,” she says with a slight frown. “We had planned on just going to dinner afterwards. I kind of just want to hang out with my family,” she says with a shrug. “I miss them,” she adds softly. 

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Ali assures her. 

“What? No way! It’s a tradition! It’s our first game, we have to celebrate!” Ashlyn protests. 

“I’ll see what my family wants to do,” Christen responds, still not fully convinced that she wants to go. Though, her family will be in town for a couple of days so she knows that she will still get to have some alone time with them. And she’d hate for her teammates to be upset with her for not doing something that is traditional. And she is pretty sure that both of her sisters are going to want to go out with the team and celebrate. They’ll probably convince her to go if they hear about it. 

“We will accept that answer,” Ali says, giving Ashlyn a look, telling her not to argue anymore. 

Ashlyn looks like she wants to say more, but she relents and nods her head. “Sorry,” she says, actually sounding sincere. “We’d love to have you guys there, but of course you don’t have to,” she says with a comforting smile. 

Christen just smiles back appreciatively. “So do you guys have family coming or anything?” She then asks, wanting to change the subject and get most of the attention off of herself. 

“Not mine,” Tobin comments, next to her. “They are on the other side of the country,” she informs her. “They normally come to the more important games though.” 

“Same here,” Ashlyn agrees. 

“My brother is coming, but my parents are far away as well.” Ali answers. 

Christen just nods and feels a bit bad for them, not that they seem to be too upset about it. She realizes that most people’s families don’t come to all games in their college career, especially if they are so far away. Most people have jobs and their own lives to attend to and can’t just drop everything. 

“I’m glad that my family are close enough,” she says honestly. 

“It’s great how close you seem to be with your family,” Ali tells her with a smile. “Sometimes I wish I were that close with mine,” she says a bit wistfully. 

Ashlyn just scoffs and turns to her girlfriend. “Please, you and your brother are so close that it’s sometimes weird. If he lived around here you guys would be inseparable,” she says, though she has a fond smile on her face, letting Ali know that it’s not actually a problem. 

Ali just nudges her and rolls her eyes back at her. “Kind of true,” she smirks. “But you love Kyle,” she adds, narrowing her eyes at Ashlyn. “You guys talk almost as much as him and I do,” she points out. 

Ashlyn just shrugs her shoulders and smiles. “He is pretty great,” she agrees. 

“I want another bagel,” Tobin randomly comments, ending the conversation about their families. 

Christen just smirks and glances over at the girl who had already eaten two since they’ve been sitting there. “You really need to start eating better,” she tells her with a sigh but a smile on her face. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “I do, sometimes,” she grumbles with a pout on her face. “Besides, like I keep telling you, I work out everyday and run a lot,” she shrugs, trying to make it seem better. 

“It’s not just about calories. It’s about nutrients and the things you are putting into your body,” she tries to tell her though she knows that she probably isn’t going to change Tobin’s eating habits. “You have to be good to your body,” she adds. 

Tobin smirks at her, but then just sighs. “Fine,” she pouts again, folding her arms across her chest and sinking down into the chair. 

Ashlyn and Ali glance at one another, a bit curious at the interaction between their two teammates, but they don’t comment on it. They just laugh at the face Tobin is giving Christen, finding it pretty amusing. She’s never really been one to let anyone tell her what to do or stop her from doing what she wants. 

“Can I at least get one of those chocolate protein bars? I’m still hungry,” she says, the pout still planted firmly on her face. 

Christen just laughs at her and raises a brow. “You can get whatever you want, Tobin,” she tells her as if it were news. “Get your bagel, if you want,” she adds with a small shrug. She hadn’t been trying to tell Tobin what to do, she was just giving an opinion. 

Tobin looks at her for a minute, trying to read her expression and see if this was a trick or not. Finally she smiles and sits back up in her chair. “I’m getting a bagel,” she says simply before getting up and walking back over to the counter. 

Christen shakes her head, an amused smile on her face as she watches the girl walk away. After a moment, she turns back to Ashlyn and Ali who are looking at her with looks on their faces that she can’t entirely read. “What?” She asks confused. 

They just glance at each other once again before shrugging. “Nothing,” Ali says simply. 

Christen furrows her brows, not really sure what was going on with the two of them, but she chooses not to question it. And even if she had wanted to, Tobin walks back over, distracting her from asking them any more questions. 

Christen can’t help but grin when she sees Tobin sit down with a protein bar in her hand instead of a bagel. 

“Shut up,” Tobin grumbles, taking a bite. “This is so not as good as a bagel,” she sighs, making Christen giggle at her. 

—-

They start walking back down the street after coffee and Tobin drapes herself over Ashlyn’s back. “Carry me!” She tells her, trying to climb onto her back. 

“No!” Ashlyn laughs, swatting at Tobin and trying to get her off of her. “Get off of me!” She says, but barely gets it out because she is laughing so hard. 

“Come on! I’m supposed to be hard chilling today! I’ve done too much walking,” she tells her with a pout, still trying to get onto Ashlyn’s back. 

Christen just laughs at the girls behavior shaking her head. She glances over at Ali who is laughing at the couple as well. “They get like this,” Ali tells her informs her with a giggle. “They’re very mature,” she jokes, raising her voice a little to make sure the two girls hear her. 

“Hey, I’m not doing anything!” Ashlyn shouts, successfully shoving Tobin away from her. 

Tobin just lets out an exaggerated sigh, slouching over as they keep walking, acting like it’s the hardest thing she has ever done. “It’s going to be your fault when I’m too tired to play tonight,” Tobin says, sending Ashlyn a glare. 

“Come on, Tobs, I know you have got to have more stamina then that,” Ashlyn says with a smirk. 

Tobin cracks a grin, even though she’s trying hard to continue glaring at her friend. “I have plenty of stamina,” she says, and then looks at Christen sending her a wink. 

Christen’s eyes widen a bit and she feels her face flush. 

“You two are children,” Ali says, noticing Christen’s embarrassment and pulling the attention away from her. “Get inside,” she instructs them as they reach the front door of the dorms. She opens it up and shoos them in, smiling when Christen walks through the door after them. 

“Thanks,” Christen says politely, following the other two women. She turns back, waiting a second for Ali to come inside and she walks with the girl to the elevator, both just laughing at Ashlyn and Tobin who are shoving each other down the hallway. 

They get upstairs to their rooms and the three girls walk inside Ashlyn and Tobin’s dorm. Christen hangs back a bit awkwardly in the doorway, not really sure what to do next. 

Tobin throws herself on her bed and then notices Christen still standing at the edge of their room. “Come and hang out with us. I’ll show you how to hard chill,” she says with a grin. 

Christen smiles back at her, but shakes her head. “I kind of just want to be myself. I want to meditate some more and try and get in my zone for the game,” she explains. 

“You know for someone who meditates you are pretty uptight,” Tobin comments offhandedly as she pulls out her Nintendo switch. 

Christen frowns, though she knows already that Tobin thinks she is uptight. They’d had the conversation the other night at the restaurant. But, she still doesn’t really like hearing it. She just chews on her lip and looks down at the ground for a moment, feeling anxious all of a sudden and not really sure what to say next. 

“Sorry,” Tobin says with a wince. Sometimes her mouth said things before her brain could really register it. “I just mean you should try and have some fun and relax,” she shrugs. “You are always hulled up in your room alone, studying and stuff,” she adds, though she realizes she’s not really making it any better and she should probably just stop talking now. 

“Meditating is relaxing for me,” Christen answers back stiffly, still looking down at her feet. “I prefer alone time,” she adds with a nervous shrug. Being alone has always been a lot easier than being around other people. And maybe she’s starting to realize that she can have some friends and enjoy spending time with them, but she does still need her alone time. 

“Ignore her,” Ali says, giving Tobin a glare. She walks over to Christen and puts a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Enjoy your time, okay?” She says, ducking her head and trying to get Christen to make eye contact with her. “We will see you in a few hours,” she adds with a smile. 

Christen looks up and meets her eyes, giving her a smile back, though it doesn’t fully reach her eyes. “Okay,” she nods. “See you guys later,” she says quietly, giving them all another glance before walking across the room into her own dorm. 

—-

Tobin strolls into the locker room a few hours later and sees Christen already sitting in front of her locker, putting her cleats on. She bites down on her lip and debates on if she should just leave the girl alone or go and talk to her. She really wants to apologize to her because she feels bad about earlier, though she’s not sure if she’ll just end up making things worse or not. Maybe she’s just better off leaving Christen alone. 

Though, she finds that she can’t help herself and she starts walking towards Christen. She barely knows her so she’s not sure why she cares so much about if Christen likes her or if she is upset with her. Sure, Tobin has always been a caring person and she’s never been one to hurt anyone’s feelings on purpose, but she feels a stronger need to make sure Christen is okay than she has with most people in her life. Especially people she barely even knows. 

“Hey,” she says quietly sitting down next to Christen. 

Christen startles a bit, not noticing the girl had sat down next to her. She sits up from tying her cleats and looks over at the girl. “Hi,” she responds with a smile, but it’s not the same grin she normally gives Tobin. It almost seems forced and it makes Tobin’s heart hurt. 

“I’m really sorry about earlier,” Tobin says sincerely. “I know that I was rude, but I wasn’t trying to be. I’m just not always good with my words,” she says with a frown.

Christen looks at her for a moment, before just shrugging her shoulders and looking back down to her shoes. “I know that I’m uptight,” she states, leaning down to adjust her socks and shin guards. “We’ve already talked about this,” she says as though it were obvious. 

“Right,” Tobin nods, remembering their conversation. “And I told you that it was okay, and that I like you how you are,” she reminds her. “I still mean that,” she says, hoping that Christen believes her. “I’m sorry, we’re just so different and I guess I have a hard time understanding how other people are feeling. Especially when it comes to stuff like that, that I don’t understand. I’ve just always been so chill and go with the flow or whatever. It’s hard to imagine being so serious all the time,” she tries explaining, but she feels like she is digging herself into a deeper hole. “I’m not saying it’s bad, I’m just saying we are different and I’m sorry I’m not more empathetic or whatever,” she says with a sigh. She’s about to just get up and walk away before she makes it even worse, but thankfully, Christen looks up at her again, making her stay. 

“I can’t help it,” she says with a frown. 

She looks so sad that Tobin just wants to reach out and give her a hug, but she doesn’t because she is pretty sure that would make things worse right now. She just continues to look at Christen, an encouraging smile on her face, letting her continue to talk. 

“I’ve always been this way. I have really bad anxiety and no matter what I do, it’s just always there,” she says sighing. “I try and relax and to tell myself to loosen up and that not everything is such a big deal, but my mind and my body just refuse to listen,” she tells her. 

Tobin nods, because she knows what anxiety is and she’s heard a few people in her life talk about it, but she’s never really experienced it herself. Not on this level anyway. “I’m sorry,” Tobin says, not really sure what else to say. “I honestly don’t know what that feels like. I’ve never really stressed about stuff too much,” she says truthfully. “Which, I’ve been told is a problem too,” she adds, hoping that maybe it’ll make Christen feel a bit better. 

“I do wish that I could be more like you,” Christen admits. “It’s just not that simple,” she shrugs and then goes back to tying her shoes. 

Tobin bites down on her lip as she watches the girl, still not really sure what to say. She feels like maybe Christen has accepted her apology but she still feels a bit uneasy about the whole thing. She also just wants to help Christen feel better, but she knows there probably isn’t much she can do. She also doesn’t know too much about anxiety. 

She watches as Christen sits back up and takes a deep breath in, closing her eyes and holding it for a moment before letting it back out. She also notices her clutching onto the beads around her neck and Tobin realizes that it’s not the first time that she had seen Christen do it. 

“What are those beads that you wear?” She asks curiously, her voice soft because she feels like she is going to disturb her.

“Mala beads,” she responds, opening her eyes once again and letting out another breath. “They’re Buddhist prayer beads and they are used for mediation,” she further explains. “I’m still learning about all of the meditation stuff, but it’s really been helping me to relax. And the beads are supposed to bring you good vibes. My younger sister made these for me,” she tells her, looking up from the beads and back over to Tobin.

“That’s really cool,” Tobin smiles at the new information. “Maybe I should get some.”

Christen smiles at her, this time a full smile, the one that Tobin had already missed seeing even though it had just been a few hours. “I don’t think you need much help,” she grins. “I mean, have you seen you play?” She adds, mimicking what Tobin had said at the coffee shop a few days ago.

Tobin just chuckles and shakes her head at Christen. “Well, I don’t think you need them either,” she says honestly. 

“I don’t know. Maybe I’m at the level that I am because of them. Maybe if I didn’t wear them I’d be worse,” she shrugs. 

Tobin shakes her head at the comment and catches Christen’s eye. “You really need to stop doubting your talent,” she tells her seriously. “You are good because you love the game and you work hard at it,” she adds, giving her a comforting smile. 

“Thanks,” Christen says softly, averting her gaze as she feels her cheeks turn a bit pink. 

“I’m going to get changed. I’ll see you out there, okay? We’re going to kick ass,” Tobin tells her, raising her hand to give Christen a high five. 

Christen just giggles at her and high fives her. “Yeah we are,” she says softly before Tobin walks over to her own locker. She just shakes her head and takes in another deep breath before continuing to get ready. She feels a lot better than she had just a few moments ago. Honestly it gives her a bit of whiplash how Tobin can make her mood change so drastically without even really trying. 

—-

They ended up winning their first game 4-1. Tobin had been right when she’d said that they weren’t the strongest team. She had also been right when she’d said that Christen was going to get subbed in, because she had. It was only for the last 15 minutes of the game, but of course she’d take what she could. Christen had even managed to score a goal in the 88th minute of the game. 

Tobin had been the first person to reach her, scooping her up into a big hug and spinning her around in a circle. Christen had just giggled and held onto her tightly, soaking in the praise and cheers all throughout the stadium. 

“Told you,” Tobin mumbled into her neck, letting her drop back to the ground. And Christen just giggled cutely at her before being crushed into a group hug from the rest of her team. 

It had been one of the best moments in Christen’s life. She’d been so nervous for their first game and so nervous that she wasn’t going to do well or prove herself. A part of her still doesn’t think that she deserves to be on this team so getting goal in her first game had meant the world to her. 

And getting to celebrate her first goal with Tobin had mad it even better. Tobin had looked so proud of her.

After the game she runs over to the wall as soon as she can, to greet her family who were all cheering for her with big proud smiles on their faces. She swears she even sees a tear in her father’s eye. 

“You did so good baby,” he tells her, reaching out and giving her the best hug that he can with the wall in between them. 

“We are so proud,” her mother says, taking her turn to hug her as well, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

Tyler and Channing take their turns hugging her as well, grinning just as proudly as her parents. Christen feels tears in her eyes and she honestly can’t remember the last time she had felt this happy and this loved.

“We are taking you out to dinner tonight, wherever you want to go baby girl,” her dad says, reaching out and grabbing her hand. 

Christen just grins widely and nods her head. She hasn’t seen her family in a couple of weeks and it’s the longest that she has been away from them. She can’t wait to be able to hang out with them again. She knew that she had missed them, but seeing them now and getting to hug them, she realizes just how much she actually had missed them. 

Kelley and Tobin walk behind her and Tobin gives her a little pat on her head, sending her another proud smile, making Christen beam. “Pressi! We are all going out tonight! We have to celebrate!” Kelley yells, taking her turn to hug Christen. “Hi!” She then says with a grin, turning to wave enthusiastically at Christen’s family. “You guys are of course invited.”

The two girls give her another smile before going into the tunnel, leaving Christen with her family. 

“We definitely have to go celebrate with everyone!” Tyler says excitedly. And Christen already knew that was coming. 

“I just want to hang out with you guys,” Christen tells her, looking back up at her parents. 

Stacey nods her head and reaches out for Christen’s hand. “We can do whatever you want, baby,” she tells her warmly. “But we aren’t leaving until tomorrow afternoon so you have plenty of time with us. If you want to go hang out with your teammates and celebrate with everyone then we can definitely do that,” she tells her. 

“Yes! Come on! We have to go with everyone! You can’t miss your first team celebration!” Tyler says, trying to convince her little sister. 

“Okay, we can go,” Christen decides, nodding her head. Tyler and Channing both give her excited looks and Christen knows that she had made the right choice. She knows that they really want to go out and she also knows that her family wants her to be able to go and hang out with her teammates. They want her to make friends with them and experience being a part of a group and not just sticking to herself all the time. 

And honestly, it’s not like Christen doesn’t want to. She’s come to really enjoy being around the other girls. And she’s still feeling on such a high from the game, that she feels like she can do anything. Even going to a crowded bar and being around everyone. 

“We can’t wait to meet all of your friends!” Her mom tells her with a grin. “I love you,” she says, giving her hand one last squeeze. 

Christen smiles widely up at them again. Still just so happy. “I’ll meet you guys after I shower and everything,” she tells them before following the rest of her teammates into the locker room. 

—-

Christen is sitting down on of the couches in the bar with her little sister Channing. She looks around the room, happily watching her teammates mingle around, all clearly still on a high from their first win. She’s still feeling a bit anxious being out in this environment, but she feels like it’s manageable. Maybe it’s because she is still floating from their win as well. But she knows that it also has a lot to do with her family being there with her. 

She looks over to see both of her parents talking to Ashlyn and Ali. She gets a little nervous about the girls talking to her mom and dad, but she decides that Ashlyn and Ali are two of her best bets. At least it’s not Kelley. 

“I love all of your teammates,” Tyler says, plopping down on the couch next to Christen, the drink in her hand spilling over a bit. 

Christen just chuckles at her, shaking her head. She knew that Tyler would fit in with everyone. Honestly, she feels like Tyler would be a much better fit here with everyone. And all the girls would probably end up liking her outgoing older sister a lot more than her. 

“They’re pretty great,” Christen agrees. She’s still not super close with most of them, but so far there hasn’t been anyone that she doesn’t like. They all seem really nice and they try and include her in most things that they do. It’s just Christen who has her reservations and declines the invites and the opportunity to get to know them more. 

A few minutes later, Tobin sits down in the chair next to the couch, a beer in her hand. 

She wasn’t exactly sure how her parents would feel coming to a bar, knowing that a lot of the girls aren’t yet 21. Though the bar is 18 and up and they all have a right to be there. Her parents have also never been against alcohol. Sure, they don’t want her going out and getting hammered and putting herself in danger, but they have offered her wine before. They’d even bought her some champagne on her high school graduation night. They just want her to be smart and safe with it. 

They are also not dumb enough to believe that most kids wait until they are 21 to actually drink. 

It’s just Christen that doesn’t really want to drink. The thought of not being in control of her actions, just terrifies her. 

“Tobin!” Tyler shouts, sitting up next to Christen and grinning widely at the girl.

Christen groans internally because she has a bad feeling that Tyler is going to completely embarrass her. 

“Hi” Tobin greets back with an amused grin. “I was going to introduce myself, but I guess I don’t have to do that,” she says with a slightly awkward chuckle. She’s still not really used to people just knowing who she is. 

“Of course not! You are Tobin freaking Heath!” Tyler shouts excitedly. 

“I am,” she laughs with a nod. 

“This is Tyler, my older sister,” Christen introduces. “And this is Channing my younger sister,” she then introduces the more quiet Press. She’s almost more shy than Christen is, she’s just not as uptight and nervous. She’s honestly the more carefree Press, just a bit calmer. 

“Oh! You made Christen the Mala bead, things,” Tobin says, glancing at Christen to make sure she got the word right and Christen nods at her, beaming. “They’re pretty cool,” she comments, giving Channing a smile. “Though, I told her she doesn’t actually need them. I mean, did you see her goal tonight? It was beautiful,” she says with a happy sigh. 

Christen just giggles because she can tell that Tobin is a little tipsy. She’s not drunk, but she is definitely feeling it a bit and enjoying her night.

“Tobin, did you know that you are Christen’s favorite player?” Tyler asks, and Christen can also tell that her older sister is starting to feel the alcohol as well. She just groans, because this is exactly what she was worried about. She nudges Tyler as subtle as possible and gives her a glare. 

“No, I didn’t know that,” Tobin says, giving the sister an amused look. 

“You totally are. We used to watch the national team play all the time and she couldn’t stop talking about how great you were,” Tyler informs her, just making Tobin laugh. 

Christen on the other hand is completely mortified, turning beat red. 

“Well, Christen is pretty amazing herself,” Tobin comments reaching over to nudge Christen’s knee. “I’m a pretty big fan of hers too,” she says with a sweet smile, just making Christen turn even more red. 

“My sister is the best,” Tyler agrees, throwing her arm around her younger sister, looking proud. “That goal tonight really was beautiful,” Tyler says.

“Yeah well I wouldn’t have been able to do it without that great assist from this one,” she finds herself saying, giving Tobin a smile. 

Tobin blushes this time, but she is going to blame it on the alcohol in her system. Tobin Heath, does not blush. 

“You guys have great chemistry on the field,” Channing speaks up. “You guys were connecting a lot of great passes,” she comments and Tyler nods her head, agreeing.

Tobin and Christen smile at each other, both feeling a bit bashful at the comments. 

Tobin then notices that Christen has her arms folded across her chest tightly, the thin jacket that she is wearing obviously not doing much from the cold night air that is flowing through the garage doors of the open patio of the bar. 

Tobin smirks and rolls her eyes with a sigh. “You really need to invest in a bigger coat,” she tells her, and Christen looks up at her a big caught off guard. She had been trying to play off how cold she actually was, but of course Tobin had noticed. “You aren’t in Cali anymore,” she adds, giving her a wink. 

Christen just grumbles and folds her arms tighter across her chest knowing that Tobin was right. She has a really big coat at home that she’d used for a couple of ski trips they’d gone on but she really didn’t have many. It never got cold enough in LA for the need of a large coat.

“Here,” Tobin says, taking her coat off and once again putting it over Christen’s shoulders. She’s wearing a hoodie underneath the coat and honestly she’s always run pretty hot and doesn’t get cold too easy so she doesn’t really feel the need for it right now. And even if she were cold, she’d rather Christen have it. 

“Thanks,” Christen says with a smile, putting her arms into the familiar coat and wrapping herself up in it. 

Tyler looks between the two of them with narrowed eyes, the gears turning in her head. But even with the alcohol in her system she knows better than to call them out on anything right now. She knows how shy her little sister is and much it would probably upset her. But she’s definitely going to keep an eye on them and bring it up with Christen later. 

A few moments later, Kelley comes over to the table, a tray of shots in her hand, a bunch of the other girls following behind her. Most of the girls pick one up, but Christen declines the offer, deciding to just stick with her club soda. She doesn’t really want to drink in general, but especially not while her parents are here. Even though she knows they wouldn’t really care. It’s a celebration and they know that she is safe. 

They all hold up their shots, a couple of the girls just sticking with club soda like Christen and cheers to their win and to the start of an amazing season.

Most of the girls go to dance after that and Tyler even pulls Channing up, convincing her to go and dance with them. Tobin takes the opportunity to move over onto the couch, taking Tyler's seat next to Christen. “I like your sisters,” she comments laying back and putting her legs up on the table in front of them. “They’re so different than you are. At least Tyler is,” she says thoughtfully. 

Christen just nods her head with a small frown. She loves her older sister, but everyone always ended up liking her more than Christen. And of course her new teammates would be no different.

“Yeah, Tyler is always the life of the party,” she tells her with a nod. “Everyone always loves her. And Channing is a bit more quiet like I am, but she’s not really anxious or anything. She’s actually pretty carefree like you are, she’s just not loud and assertive like Tyler,” she explains. “I am the only one that got blessed with crippling anxiety and control problems,” she says with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a bit and not make the statement seem so sad. 

“Well, you are still my favorite Press,” Tobin tells her honestly. 

Christen blushes at her and hugs Tobin’s jacket a bit closer to her body, smelling the familiar scent of her. It’s warm and comforting and it makes the butterflies in her stomach flutter. “You probably wouldn’t say that if you hung out with them for more than a few minutes,” Christen says honestly. 

“I know that my opinion won’t change,” she says confidently. “I think you are amazing, Chris,” she says seriously, looking over and meeting Christen’s eyes. 

They look at each other for a few moments and Christen can feel her heart pounding in her chest. She’s not really sure what to say or do, but she can’t find it in herself to look away from Tobin. The eye contact is intense, but surprisingly it’s not making her uncomfortable like it normally does. Tobin’s eyes are soft and inviting and it makes Christen feel so good. 

But after a moment, Tobin breaks it with a small chuckle, her cheeks flushing again as she looks away. “Apparently, you think I am pretty great too,” Tobin says with a wink, trying to break the intimate moment the two were having. 

“Oh my god,” Christen blushes, hiding her face in her hands. “I can’t believe she told you that,” she groans, and Tobin just grins widely at her. “But, she’s probably telling the others the same thing,” Christen tries, even though she knows it’s probably not true. 

“Sure,” Tobin just says with a grin, obviously not believing her.

Christen just pokes her bottom lip out, and grumbles a bit. She can’t really say anything because she doesn’t have a good argument. Tobin was definitely her favorite player and nothing that Tyler was saying had been a lie. 

“You’re cute when you pout,” Tobin says with a giggle, making Christen flush. 

Christen clears her throat, looking away awkwardly. “I’m going to go and find my parents.” She tells her, getting up from the couch. “I don’t know how long I should let them talk to the other girls,” she says with a chuckle. 

Tobin nods and laughs as well. “At least they aren’t talking to Kelley,” Tobin smirks. 

Christen groans and then looks over to the dance floor where she sees her sisters dancing with Kelley, Mal, Emily and Lindsey. “Looks like she got to my sisters,” she laughs. 

Tobin just chuckles and stands up as well. “Okay, well I’m going to get another beer. I’ll see you later,” she says, before walking up to the bar. 

Christen walks over to her parents who are still talking to Ashlyn, Ali and now Pinoe. She gives them a smile and her dad pulls her into a big hug. “I’m so proud of you honey,” he tells her for the hundredth time tonight and it still makes her smile just as widely. 

“Your daughter is very talented,” Pinoe says, giving them a warm smile. “I better watch my back,” she says, sending Christen a wink. 

Cody chuckles, pulling away from his daughter. “I like you and all, but I’d be okay with that,” he says and Megan just laughs back at him, knowing that he is joking, mostly. Of course he’d be happy with his daughter taking out anyone that she has to for her to succeed and Pinoe gets that. He’s a supportive and proud dad. 

“Come on, let's leave them alone. I want to dance,” Ali says, pulling her girlfriend away from the family, dragging Pinoe with them as well. 

Stacey turns to her daughter and gives her a big grin. “Your friends are great,” she tells her. “I’m so happy to see you doing so well and making so many friends. They had nothing but good things to say about you,” she informs her, and Christen is a bit surprised at that. 

She knows that the girls had been nice to her, but she didn’t really think they would sit there and talk to her parents for so long about her. She wasn’t even sure if she could consider them friends yet. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe, they really are thinking of her as an actual friend already. 

Even better though, she’s happy to see how proud her parents are looking at her. All they have wanted for her is to get out of her shell and make some friends and have some fun in college. And now they are believing that she actually is. And maybe she’s not being as social as she has led them to believe, but she is really trying. 

“Yeah, they’re pretty great,” she tells them with a nod, feeling a bit relieved at the knowledge that they actually may think of her as a friend and not just their new teammate. 

She glances back over to where they had been sitting and sees that Tobin has returned and she’s now just talking with Channing. It makes her a bit anxious but out of everyone Channing was probably the family member she had to worry the least about revealing some embarrassing information. 

“You guys want to go and sit?” She asks, nodding over to the couches where Tobin and Channing are. 

They nod and follow behind her, sitting in the chairs across from the tables. Christen sits back down next to Tobin on the couch giving her a warm smile. Tobin leans in a bit closer to Christen smiling back at her. “Channing is telling me embarrassing stories about you,” she reveals with a mischievous look. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she glances over at Channing who shakes her head, letting her now she wouldn’t do that. Christen just looks back at Tobin and rolls her eyes. “I have nothing to hide,” she tells her confidently. Though, she knows that it is totally not true. She’d be mortified if they were to actually start telling some of her embarrassing childhood stories. She just knows that right now that hasn’t happened. 

“So Tobin, where are you from?” Her mother asks the girl politely. 

“Jersey,” Tobin replies easily. 

“You are pretty far away from home,” her mother comments. 

“Mom, leave her alone,” Christen says, before Tobin has a chance to respond. She doesn’t really want her parents bugging Tobin and asking her a million questions. 

Tobin just smiles though. “It’s okay,” she assures Christen, placing a hand on her knee without thinking about it. The alcohol is definitely making her feel a bit more bold around the Press’. 

Christen however, can’t take her eyes off of Tobin’s hand that is still resting casually on her leg as she converses with her family. She glances around at her family to see if anyone else had noticed, but they all seem too focused on Tobin and what she is saying to notice. 

Christen bites down on her lip, still not being able to focus on the words that Tobin is saying. She can just hear her voice in the background, her eyes super focused on the hand on her leg, wondering if Tobin has even realized it’s still there. 

And normally she’d feel a bit uncomfortable at the contact, but honestly it makes her feel a bit giddy. She’s starting to get a feel for what it is like to touch Tobin and to have her arms around her body and she finds herself seeking more contact with her. 

A few moments later, Kelley walks back over, breaking Christen out of her trance. She jumps slightly like she’d been caught doing something wrong, making Tobin’s hand fall off of her leg. She looks over at Tobin who is just giving her a concerned look and places her hand back in her own lap. 

“We’re going to get tacos,” Kelley informs them with an excited grin. 

Tobin just laughs at her friend and nods her head. “I’m definitely down for some tacos,” she says and then turns towards Christen. 

“Honey, you can go with your friends if you’d like,” Stacey tells her, giving her an encouraging smile, letting her know it’s okay to leave. 

But Christen shakes her head. As much as she has enjoyed hanging out with her teammates and possibly her new friends, she has missed her family terribly. She’s also exhausted from the long day. “I just want to go with you guys,” she tells them honestly. 

“Okay, whatever you want,” Cody says with a smile, reaching out and patting Christen’s knee.

Tobin looks a bit disappointed that Christen isn’t going to come with them, but she gets it. She knows how close Christen is with her family and she has seen how happy and how much more relaxed she has been tonight, getting to spend some time with them. And Tobin just wants her to be happy. 

“Let’s go!” Kelley shouts, coming around the table to tug on Tobin’s arm, getting impatient. 

Tobin just laughs and shoves Kelley away, though she does get up. “It was really nice meeting you guys,” she says, smiling politely at Christen’s family. “I’ll see you later?” She then asks, turning her attention back to Christen. 

Christen nods her head and stands up, starting to take Tobin’s coat off, but Tobin shakes her head. 

“You can hang on to it,” she tells her, giving her a warm smile. “Besides, I think you need it more than me, Cali girl,” she smirks.

Christen just grins widely at her, not even caring about the nickname and the light teasing tone. “Thank you,” she says sincerely, hugging the jacket close to her body. 

Tobin gives her one last smile and then gives her family a wave before following Kelley and a few of the other girls out of the bar. 

Christen just watches her go with a smile on her face and then turns back to her family, including Tyler who had at some point joined them. She sees them all staring at her with looks that she can’t quite read. The same looks that Ashlyn and Ali had been giving her earlier. “What?” She asks, confused. 

They just smile and shake their heads. “Let’s go,” Stacey says, putting an arm around her daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know how you guys are feeling and if you are still enjoying the story!
> 
> Find me on tumblr for any questions or just to talk! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for the great comments! They always inspire me to keep writing! 
> 
> Enjoy...

Christen walks down the hallway of the dorms and sees a sleepy looking Tobin waiting at the elevator. She stands next to her and gives her a smile, thinking she looks totally adorable like this. She’s dressed in just some sweats and a hoodie, her hair in a half bun, missing the normal hat that is always on her head. Christen assumes that she just rolled out of bed. 

“Morning,” Tobin greets giving her a sleepy smile and rubbing eyes. 

“Morning,” Christen smiles back, stepping into the elevator with her. They ride down to the first floor in a comfortable silence and Christen knows that it’s because Tobin is still half asleep. She’s realized that Tobin is not very talkative first thing in the morning and before her coffee. She’d run into her a few times early before classes. 

“You’re wearing my coat,” Tobin finally says just before they step off the elevator, looking Christen up and down.

“Oh,” Christen says, looking down at herself. “Sorry, you can have it back if you want,” she says, starting to take it off. 

“No,” Tobin shakes her head with a smile. “It looks good on you,” she says honestly, making Christen’s cheeks flush. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, putting it back snuggly around her. “Did you have a good night last night?” She asks as they head for the lobby of the dorm rooms. 

Tobin nods. “Yeah, we went and got some tacos and I made sure everyone’s drunk asses got back okay,” she says with a small smirk. 

Christen laughs and then eyes Tobin. “You seemed pretty drunk yourself,” she says, remembering how close Tobin had been sitting next to her and how she’d casually just let her hand rest on Christen’s leg like it was normal. 

Tobin shrugs her shoulders, the sleepy smile still on her face. “I was tipsy but not drunk,” she corrects. “Going out and getting some tacos helped to sober me up. Plus, you know, having to babysit the other girls,” she adds with a smirk.

“Mo!” They both hear, turning their heads to the door where the whole Press pack is waiting for her. Tyler reaches out and pulls her into a tight hug. 

“Hey,” Christen greets, hugging her sister back. 

“Tobin, we are going to get some breakfast, would you like to join us?” Stacey asks, turning her attention to her daughter's friend. 

“Mom, I’m sure Tobin has plans,” Christen says with a small eye roll, not wanting Tobin to feel pressured into going with them. 

Tobin just shrugs, giving the family a smile. “I was just going to get some coffee from the cafe, but waffles sound great,” she replies. “Thank you,” she then says, grateful for the offer. 

Christen is happy to be spending some time with both Tobin and her family, though she’s a little nervous to have them hanging out together. She’s barely even gotten time to hang with Tobin herself, and she knows that her family comes on a little too strong sometimes. She doesn’t want to scare Tobin away before they can really even become friends. 

“Let’s get going then,” Stacey says, pleased that Tobin will be joining them. 

—-

They all get settled into a booth at a breakfast and brunch restaurant not too far from campus. Tobin had actually recommended it and says that they have the best breakfast in Portland. 

They get their coffee ordered before they even start looking at the menu, everyone needing a bit of a pick me up for the morning. Tobin grabs a couple of organic sugar packets and the coconut milk, over the regular milk the waitress had left on the table for them and passes it over to Christen. Not even needing to ask her what she needed.

Christen smiles, touched that Tobin had already remembered how she likes her coffee, considering they’ve only gone together a couple of times. “Thank you,” she says softly, mixing it in to her coffee.

Her family doesn’t miss the interaction and just gives each other knowing glances again, but doesn’t dare say anything to the oblivious girls. They’d been picking up on things between them, but it’s obvious that the two girls don’t even realize it themselves yet.

They also didn’t miss the fact that Christen is still wearing Tobin’s jacket. 

The server comes over a few minutes later to take their orders. Christen orders a veggie omelette with some hash browns and Tobin just scoffs at her because of course she wouldn’t stray too far from her healthy diet. Even when they are out treating themselves with her parents. 

Tobin on the other hand orders a stack of waffles, a side of bacon and a side of hash browns. But then Christen gives her a look and Tobin sighs, letting her shoulders slump in defeat. She pokes her bottom lip out at Christen who just smiles at her, rolling her eyes a bit.

And Tobin knows that Christen doesn’t actually care what she orders, but she had told Christen she’d try and start eating a bit healthier. “Fine,” she relents, looking back up at the server. “Just give me a side of fruit instead of the hashbrowns and some eggs instead of the bacon,” she says with a small pout. “I’m keeping the waffles,” she then says, giving Christen a look before passing her menu over to the server. 

“Okay,” Christen tells her, feeling proud that she was starting to listen to her. 

She looks back over at her parents who are looking at them with amused looks on their faces. She shifts a bit uncomfortably and starts fiddling with the coffee cup in front of her, not really knowing why they are looking at her like that. “Tobin doesn’t have the best eating habits,” she mumbles, feeling the need to explain their interaction. 

Tobin huffs in response, but doesn’t argue with her.

“Christen has always been super strict on her diet,” Tyler informs her, from her seat capping the end of one side of the booth. 

“I don’t know why wanting to at healthy is a bad thing,” Christen grumbles. 

Tobin just laughs, and places her hand back on Christen’s knee, the same place it had been last night, and Christen is still surprised at the action. “It’s not,” Tobin assures her. “You are right, I need to eat better,” she shrugs, taking Christen’s side, which makes the girl feel a bit better. 

Tobin pulls her hand away from Christen and takes a sip of her coffee and then looks up at Christen’s parents on the other side of the booth. “So tell me something about baby Christen,” she says with a grin. She looks over at Christen who has wide eyes and is shaking head no. Tobin just laughs and then looks back at her parents hopefully. 

Cody’s eyes light up and he grins at Tobin, clearly about to ignore his daughter’s protests. “Mo was an adorable kid,” he starts and Tobin can feel just how much he really loves his daughter. “I remember when I first took her outside and tried to teach her how to play soccer,” he starts, and Tobin sits up a bit straighter, very interested in hearing this story. 

Christen just sits back in the booth with a sigh, knowing there is nothing she can say to stop him. 

“She didn’t really know the rules at this point, obviously,” he says with a smile. “So I showed her how to kick the ball and explained that she had to try and get it in the goal. So I’d go stand in front of the little goal we had in the backyard to try and block her shots. I let her get a couple in just to get her excited about it and then I actually started blocking them. She’d get so mad,” he says, not being able to stop himself from laughing. “She’d storm over to me and pick up the ball with a little scowl on her face and just point at me shouting, ‘No daddy!’” He says, trying to mimic the same scowl that her daughter had on her face as well as her little voice. 

It makes Tobin giggle and she glances over at the embarrassed girl next to her, giving her a comforting smile. She then looks back over at Cody as he continues to tell the story. 

“So anyway, I kept blocking her shots just because I found it hilarious at this point and she was just getting so angry. She just kept yelling no at me and snatching the ball up storming back over to take another shot. I tried to explain to her that this is how soccer worked and there would be someone in the goal to block her shots. But she got so upset and just started crying telling me that I was just being mean to her,” he says smiling fondly over at his daughter. “She just threw herself onto the ground, her arms folded across her chest and refused to play with me anymore because I was just mean and she told me that she didn’t like me anymore.” He chuckles.

“Oh my god,” Christen mumbles, covering her face with her hands. 

Tobin can’t help but laugh at the adorable story along with the rest of her family, which just fuels Christen’s embarrassment. 

“It took forever to get her to play again,” he admits. “I thought I had ruined it,” he says, an affectionate smile still on his face.

“You could have ruined everything,” Christen says with a pout, though she can’t help but crack a grin at him, knowing that wasn’t true. 

“Nah,” Tobin brushes off. “You are too good and you love it too much. You were made for soccer,” she tells her. 

The comment had been so casual but it makes Christen feel a burst of emotion towards the girl. “Thanks,” she says quietly, feeling her cheeks flush.

Cody grins at the two girls and nods his head. “I agree. And maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean,” he says, using the same word that baby Christen had used, and sends her a smirk. “But, you should have seen the adorable little scowl on her face,” he comments, trying to make the same face. 

Tobin laughs loudly at him and nods her head. “She still has the same scowl,” she replies. “I've been on the receiving end of it a few times,” she says with a giggle and Christen gasps at her. “It’s still adorable,” she adds looking over at Christen. She then looks down and blushes herself, realizing that she’d just called Christen adorable in front of her parents. 

Christen turns bright red and wants the booth to just swallow her whole. But she can’t help herself from smiling shyly at Tobin for the comment. 

“I believe it,” Cody agrees, none of them saying anything more about the compliment, not wanting to further embarrass the girls. “She gets it from her mother and I get it all the time too,” he says, sending Tobin a wink. 

Both girls feel themselves blushing again, nobody mentioning the fact that he was comparing them as a married couple to the two girls who weren’t even dating. 

“Honestly, I’m still surprised that she fell in love with soccer,” Stacey pipes up. “Even her first year on an actual team, she spent all of the games picking flowers. She wouldn’t even go towards the ball,” she says with a laugh. “We honestly didn’t feel like she was that interested in it.” 

Tobin looks a bit surprised at the information, but finds it adorable all the same. It’s a totally different story than her own. She’d been obsessed with soccer since she first touched a soccer ball.

“There were so many kids all just running after the ball with no strategy at all. It was complete chaos,” Christen defends even now, looking a bit overwhelmed at the thought. “I just wanted the ball for myself,” she shrugs. 

“Luckily we put her in it the next year and somehow the ball found her feet and she made her first goal. After that it was like something just clicked. She fell in love with it and she was always going for it. She had the most goals out of all the other 5 year olds,” Stacey says proudly. 

“Now that sounds familiar,” Tobin smirks. “She loves making goals and she is so good at it,” Tobin compliments. “Seriously, she’s one of the best strikers that I’ve seen. She’s going to be on the national team with me in no time,” she tells them. 

Her parents just smile proudly and give her daughter an approving look. Obviously they just love Tobin. Which, Christen isn’t surprised. She doesn’t know anyone that wouldn’t like Tobin. 

—-

After breakfast they’re walking back up the sidewalk from the parking lot to the dorms. Tobin is ahead of them talking animatedly with Cody, her mom walking next to them with a smile. And Christen is a few steps back with her sisters. She can’t help just admire Tobin from behind, letting her eyes trail up and down her body. She seriously has the best body that Christen has ever seen. But she’s not only looking at Tobin’s body. She’s watching the girl interact with her father like she has known them forever and like they’re best friends. 

It’s crazy how perfectly Tobin had fit in with her family. It was just so easy and there was not one awkward moment during the whole breakfast. Not other than her family telling embarrassing stories about herself. But there was never in any awkward silences and Tobin never looked like she was bored or didn’t want to be there. 

“What is going on with you two?” Tyler asks, pulling Christen from her thoughts. She tears her eyes away from Tobin and glances between both of her sisters who are looking at her with smug looks on their faces. 

“What do you mean?” Christen asks confused, her brows furrowing. 

Tyler rolls her eyes at the answer and raises a brow at her younger sister. “You two act like a couple,” she says as though it were obvious. “Why didn’t you tell me you are dating Tobin Heath!” She shouts. 

Christen shushes her quickly, glancing up at Tobin to make sure she hadn’t heard the comment, and thankfully it doesn’t seem like she had because she is wrapped up in a conversation with her dad. “We are not dating,” Christen says, still giving them a confused look. 

“It does seem like you are,” Channing speaks up and it’s a little surprising that even Channing is getting in on Tyler’s crazy thoughts. “Or at least you guys are into each other,” she adds with a shrug.

“You are wearing her jacket!” Tyler says, tugging on said material. 

“I didn’t have a coat,” Christen defends. And maybe she shouldn’t have kept it as long as she has, but it still doesn’t mean anything. “She was just being nice.”

“And the way that you guys interact and look at each other. It’s so obvious,” Tyler says with a sigh, not really sure why Christen is trying to deny it. 

“Seriously, we are just friends,” she tells them again. “I barely even know her,” she adds with a small frown. “She’s just being nice,” she tries to say again, though even she knows that sounds a bit crazy. 

Tyler laughs and shakes her head. “She came to breakfast to hang out with your family,” Tyler says like that should mean something to Christen. “She obviously likes you. I mean, look at her talking up mom and dad. No just friend does that.” 

Channing nods her head, making Christen look over at her younger sister to see that she obviously agrees. “We are just friends,” Christen repeats for what she feels like is the millionth time, but this time more firm so that her sisters will leave it alone. 

She is thankful when they finally reach the dorms and she can escape this conversation. She knows that her sisters are crazy and that there is no way that someone like Tobin would like her.

But she can’t stop herself from thinking about the possibility. Though, it’s not like she needs to date anyone right now anyway. She definitely doesn’t need that distraction and it’s not like she is even sure that she likes Tobin like that anyway. 

But when she catches Tobin’s eye as the girl opens the door for her family, she sends Christen a wink. And it makes the butterflies start fluttering around in Christen’s stomach again. 

And okay, she may definitely have a crush on Tobin. The same Tobin that is her teammate and the same Tobin that apparently hates relationships. 

She’s completely screwed.

—-

Christen spends the rest of the day with her family, and thankfully Tobin had declined to go with them, deciding that Christen should just spend some alone time with her family. Plus, she’d already told Ashlyn and Pinoe that she’d hang out with them today. 

And it wasn’t that Christen didn’t want Tobin to hang out with them, because she truly did. It’s just that she had come to this realization all of a sudden and some space from the girl is probably what she needs. She needs to try and collect her thoughts and she also has to figure out how to get rid of this crush. 

She also didn’t want her sister watching them and analyzing every little thing that they do. 

They end up going shopping and Christen buys herself a bigger coat, knowing it’s only going to get colder in Portland. A part of her just wishes she could wear Tobin’s forever, but she also knows that she has to give it back to her at some point. 

After shopping they have dinner together before dropping Christen back off at the dorms before they have to head back to L.A. 

The day had been absolutely perfect and Christen felt herself happier than she had been in awhile, getting to spend time with them again. But now, standing at their car in the parking lot, reality comes crashing back down on her and she realizes that she has to say goodbye to them again. 

She sniffles a bit, trying to control her tears as her mother pulls her into a tight hug. “I love you sweetie,” she whispers in her ear. 

Christen squeezes her eyes shut and holds her mother tightly, not wanting to let go. She then moves onto her dad, giving him just as tight of a hug and she laughs when he pulls her back in after she’d attempted to let him go. Obviously saying goodbye is just as hard for them. 

She gives her sisters hugs as well and then stands back watching them all pile into their car. She resists the urge once again from climbing in with them just going back to L.A. 

But she knows she has to stay here and honestly it’s not as scary as it had been the first time. She’s starting to make friends here and she’s doing well in her classes and on the soccer team. Things are working out for her, she just misses them so much. 

She just gives them a wave, a sad smile on her face as she watches them drive away. 

Taking in a deep breath she heads back towards the dorms where she sees Ali, Julie, Ashlyn and Tobin all sitting outside at one of the picnic tables right out front. She gives them a smile and plans on just walking past them and going straight to her room, but Ali jumps up, stopping her. 

“Hey,” she says with concern written all over her face. They could all see the look on Christen’s face and how she looked like she was going to burst into tears at any moment. “Are you okay?” She asks softly and then sees Tobin getting up as well, anxiously hanging back right behind Ali. 

“I’m okay,” Christen lies. 

But her face gives her away as it cracks and a tear escapes her eye. “Oh come here,” Ali says, pulling Christen into a hug. She hugs Ali back tightly and after a moment opens her eyes to see Tobin still awkwardly standing right next to them. 

She wants to be the one hugging Christen, but she’s not really sure how to go about it. She can’t exactly just steal her away from Ali without it looking weird. Plus, she’s never been great around crying girls. She never exactly knows how to comfort them. Either way, she wants to do something. She hates seeing Christen upset. 

Christen finally pulls away from Ali and Tobin gives her a small smile, stepping closer. She puts a gentle hand on Christen’s arm and Christen all but falls into her arms. But Tobin catches her and hugs her tightly. “I’m sorry, Chris,” she whispers. “I know how much you miss them,” she says softly. 

Christen sniffles and buries her head in Tobin’s neck, finding comfort in her warmth. And Tobin is all too happy to continue holding her close. 

Hugging her like this is definitely not going to help make her crush go away, but she can’t help it. She’s upset and being close to Tobin eases some of it.

“We were about to take a walk,” Julie says from her spot at the picnic table. “Maybe we can get some ice cream or something,” she suggests, trying to make Christen feel better.

“I don’t know if miss healthy eater will eat ice cream,” Tobin says with a smile, trying to lighten the mood a bit. 

And it works because Christen lets out a chuckle as she pulls away from Tobin, wiping at her eyes. “I could use some ice cream,” she nods, sniffling a bit. 

“Let’s go then,” Tobin says with excitement. 

Luckily there is an ice cream place just a couple of blocks from the University so they decide to walk it. They were only a short distance from downtown and luckily there were lots of places to eat and hang out within walking distance, since not very many of them actually have cars. 

They get into the shop and look over the menu with at least 30 different ice cream flavors to choose from and Christen feels a little overwhelmed. She ends up just deciding on mint chocolate chip which was her favorite and a good go to. She wasn’t really up for trying anything new right now.

Tobin of course grimaces at her choice and Christen just rolls her eyes. “Well what are you getting?” She asks with a grin. 

“Vanilla,” Tobin says simply.

Christen and the other girls burst out laughing at her choice and Tobin glares at them but shrugs her shoulders. 

“Out of all these flavors you just get plain vanilla?” Ashlyn complains. 

“I’m easily pleased.” Tobin says simply.

Ali smirks at her and looks like she is about to say something, but Tobin glares at her and cuts her off. 

“You hang out with Ashlyn too much,” she rolls her eyes, a fond smile on her lips, though. 

Ali just laughs and Ashlyn puts an arm around her giving her a proud smile. 

They grab a table in the little ice cream shop and happily start eating, mostly just engaging in mindless small talk. Tobin makes sure she sits next to Christen, still feeling the need to be close to her knowing that she is still upset. 

“Your family seems really great, Christen,” Julie says with a smile, looking over at the girl. Ashlyn and Ali nod in agreement because they had spent quite a bit of time last night talking to her parents and they seemed like great people. 

But Tobin gives Julie a glare, because she really didn’t want any of them to bring up her family and make her start to feel upset again. She feels herself shifting closer to Christen, ready to comfort her if she needs it.

However, Christen doesn’t seem to mind and gives them a small smile in return. “They really are,” she agrees with a nod. “I’m glad that you guys got to meet them,” she says happily.

“Thank them again for breakfast this morning,” Tobin then says, realizing that it’s okay to talk about them. “They really didn’t have to pay for me,” she says with a slight frown. She’d of course put up an argument with them, but Cody told her not to even think about trying to pay. 

Christen grins widely at her. “They of course don’t mind. They loved you,” she assures her. “But I’ll tell them thank you again,” she confirms. Tobin had already told them thank you at least 10 times in the small amount of time from leaving the restaurant until they were back at the dorms. “I’m sorry if you didn’t have a good time though,” Christen frowns, figuring Tobin had a lot more fun things to do then get roped into having breakfast with strangers. 

“I really did,” Tobin assures her. “Your family is awesome. Plus, I got to hear super cute stories of little baby Christen,” she grins. “Win,” she says with a little fist pump, making Christen giggle.

Ashlyn and Ali share a look with each other before looking back over at Tobin. “You had breakfast with Christen’s family?” Ashlyn asks raising a brow at her.

Tobin shifts a big uncomfortably, realizing she’d probably said too much. It wasn’t like it was that big of a deal, but to some it may seem that way. She barely knew them and had already had a family meal with them. “I ran into them as they were leaving and they invited me,” she says casually, hoping they won’t make it a big deal. “You know that I can’t turn down food,” she then says with a smirk. 

They thankfully change the subject pretty quickly, knowing better than to bring anything up with Tobin about the two of them. She’s never really dated anyone and if they are right about her starting to possibly like Christen, they aren’t going to scare her away from it. 

Plus they don’t want to upset Christen any more than she already is with her family leaving. 

“Thank you guys for taking me out,” Christen says after a few minutes. “I really needed it,” she smiles. 

“Anytime,” Ali says and the others nod in agreement. 

“I have a test coming up though, so I should really go study. I’ve been pretty distracted all weekend,” she informs them, standing up from her chair. She throws her cup away in the trash can and walks back over to them where she finds Tobin standing up as well, her cone finished off. 

“I’ll walk you back,” she insists. 

Christen smiles widely at her and nods her head. “Okay,” she says simply. She turns her attention back to the rest of the group who are just smiling at them. “I’ll see you guys later,” she says giving them a wave and then following Tobin out the door. 

When they get back to the dorm rooms, they stand awkwardly in between their own rooms just smiling at each other, not really wanting to say goodbye.

“Oh! I bought a coat today,” Christen grins. She then frowns slightly, figuring that meant she should probably give Tobin’s back. She starts to take it off and catches Tobin frowning slightly as well, but she covers it quickly with a smile. 

“Smart,” Tobin comments, taking the coat back. She can’t lie and say that she loved seeing Christen in her coat though. 

“Thanks for letting me wear yours,” Christen tells her softly. 

“Sure,” Tobin grins. “Can’t have my Cali girl getting cold,” she winks, and then feels herself blush when she realizes she’d called Christen hers.

Christen is blushing herself, looking down bashfully at her shoes. “Well, I really should study. It was nice hanging out with you today,” she smiles, looking back up at Tobin with a cute grin. 

“I had fun too,” Tobin says with a nod. She reaches out and pulls Christen into her, wrapping her up in a hug. 

It’s something that Christen is starting to get more familiar with. It doesn’t completely catch her off guard anymore, but it still does make her stomach do flips. She wraps her arms tightly around Tobin’s neck, holding her close for a few moments. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says, finally pulling away from Tobin. 

Tobin just nods and gives her another smile as she watches Christen walk into her own dorm room. 

—

The next day Tobin is walking down the dorm room hallway from her last class, her whistling echoing off the walls. She approaches her room and notices Christen and Alex’s door open so she glances inside, hoping to catch a glimpse of Christen. 

She smiles when she sees her sitting at her desk, hunched over a textbook, her head in her hands. Tobin knocks softly on the door and walks inside without waiting on a response. When she notices Christen doesn’t even turn around, she frowns slightly. “Hey,” she tries, stepping closer to the girl. “Chris?” She asks, still getting no response. She kneels down next to Christen and places a gentle hand on her back. 

Christen slowly turns her head, meeting Tobin’s eyes, and it’s then that Tobin realizes she’s crying. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tobin asks, moving closer and wrapping an arm around the curly haired girl. 

Christen just lets out a sob and falls into Tobin’s arms. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin says soothingly, running her fingers through Christen’s hair. “I’ve got you,” she whispers, as she feels Christen bury her face into her neck. She just holds her tighter in response. 

After a few minutes, Tobin can tell that Christen has seemed to relax some and she doesn’t seem to be crying nearly as hard. She pulls away just enough to be able to see Christen’s face again. “Are you okay?” She asks concerned. She doesn’t need Christen to tell her what is wrong if she doesn’t want to, but Tobin at least needs to know she’s not hurt or anything. 

“I’m okay,” Christen says softly with a sniffle. 

Tobin nods and reaches up, brushing a strand of hair behind Christen’s ear. “What’s going on?” She asks softly, trying to find Christen’s eyes. 

Christen sighs and pulls away from Tobin leaning back in her chair and rubbing her hands over her face, trying to collect herself. “I have a really big test tomorrow and I’m just...I’m so unprepared,” she says, her bottom lip trembling. “I’m going to fail,” she says, her eyes widening as the panic starts up again. 

“Hey,” Tobin says, reaching out for her hand. “You are one of the smartest people that I know. You are definitely not going to fail,” she informs her, but Christen frowns at her. 

“You can’t possibly know that. You don’t even know what subject this is, how much I know about it or- 

“True,” Tobin says, stopping the girl from her spiraling. “But you are always studying and you try way harder than anyone else I know. You are just stressing yourself out,” she says knowingly. She doesn’t know Christen all that well yet, but she does know about Christen’s anxiety and how worked up she can get, even when there is no need for it. “Come on,” Tobin says, standing up from where she had been kneeling on the floor. 

“What? Where?” Christen asks, clearly confused. 

“I want to take you somewhere,” Tobin says as if it were obvious. “Put some shoes on. And make sure they are comfy. It’s a lot of walking,” she informs her. 

Christen frowns and shakes her head. “Have you not been listening?” She asks, her frustration growing. “I need to study, I can’t go anywhere.” 

“I think what you need is a break,” Tobin says knowingly. “Just come with me for a bit. Some space and a clear head may help you to study better,” she says, trying to convince the girl. 

But, Christen is still frowning. “Tobin-

“I’m not taking no for an answer. Now get up,” Tobin says firmly. 

Christen opens her mouth to protest, but catches the glare on Tobin’s face, letting her know that there was no room for argument. She pouts a bit, but sighs, standing up from her chair. “Fine,” she relents, making Tobin grin happily. “But we really can’t be gone for more than like an hour,” she says, and Tobin just nods her head enthusiastically, grabbing some tennis shoes for Christen to put on. 

—-

Tobin ends up taking her on a hiking trail through one of Portland's many parks. Christen has honestly been wanting to explore the nature of Portland because she’s seen many photos and she knew how pretty the area was. And finally seeing it in person was a whole other story. It was even better than she’d thought.

“This is so beautiful,” Christen says in awe as they stand at the top of a mountain, looking down at the city below them. 

Tobin smiles, nodding in agreement, taking in the view herself. 

But she doesn’t look for very long because she can’t stop herself from looking more at Christen than the scenery in front of them. Just half an hour ago she’d been stiff with anxiety, tears streaming down her face and now she just looks so happy and so carefree. Tobin loves to see it and she thinks that Christen looks even more beautiful than this view does. 

She almost tells her so, but is able to keep the thoughts in her head. 

“Can I take a photo of you?” Tobin asks, grabbing the camera around her neck. 

Christen whips her head around to look at Tobin with wide eyes. “Uh...I don’t...I don’t really take good photos,” she says nervously. She’s never really liked being in front of a camera. 

“That can’t possibly be true,” Tobin says, looking at Christen like she’d just said the craziest thing possible. “You are gorgeous,” she says in a softer tone. “And you look so good right now in this light and on this mountain. I just want to capture it,” she explains with a small shrug. 

Christen blushes bright red, turning shy because she’s never had anyone compliment her so highly before. “I-uh... I guess so,” she finds herself saying. She’s still a bit nervous to have someone photographing her, but Tobin just seems so excited and she trusts her. 

Tobin beams and brings the camera up to her eyes, taking a few shots of Christen. After a few moments she starts looking through the photos on the camera screen, grinning widely. “You look so good,” she comments, stepping closer to Christen to show her the photos. 

Christen can’t deny that the photos look really good. Though, she still finds herself criticizing herself. The way that Tobin had shot them was beautiful though. “You are really good,” she says, looking up to meet Tobin’s eyes. 

This time it’s Tobin who is blushing, though she tries to cover it, pulling her face down like she’s looking at the photos more closely. “I’ve always liked taking photos,” she says with a small shrug. “I just love art in general,” she adds. 

“Maybe that can be your backup,” she says with a smile, going back to the conversation they’d had in the coffee shop about plans if soccer didn’t work out for them. 

Tobin shrugs again but smiles at Christen. “It’s not exactly easy to make money as an artist,” she says matter of fact. “But, I will continue doing it either way,” she adds. “Let me take a picture of both of us,” she says, letting her camera hang loosely around her neck again as she pulls out her phone. 

Christen just bites her lip and nods as Tobin steps closer to her, putting an arm around her shoulder. Christen glances over at Tobin who is smiling widely at her phone camera and Christen can’t help but smile as well as she looks back at the camera too. 

Tobin takes a couple of photos of the two of them before she is satisfied with her work. She grins down at it and then looks up at Christen. “Can I post it to my instagram?” She asks eagerly. 

Christen can’t help but giggle at how excited Tobin seems to be and just nods her head. “Sure,” she shrugs. She’s never really been one to post photos of herself or really use social media, but she can’t say no to Tobin’s smiling face. 

“Great,” Tobin replies, posting it before pocketing her phone and grinning back over at Christen. “Want to sit?” She asks, nodding over to a large rock just on the edge of the mountain, giving them a great view. 

Christen nods and follows Tobin onto the rock, settling next to her. She still can’t believe just how pretty the view is. She goes hiking in LA a lot and they have some pretty good views as well, but it’s different. It’s a completely different foliage here and it’s just so pretty. 

“You know, I didn’t really think you liked me for the longest time,” Tobin admits after a few moments of silence. 

Christen looks over at her with furrowed brows. “Really?” She asks a bit confused by that. She hadn’t thought she’d done anything to make Tobin think she didn’t like her, because she definitely wasn’t trying to. She honestly figured that Tobin hadn’t liked her much. Tobin is just so chill and carefree and Christen is the complete opposite of that. 

“You never seemed like you wanted to talk to me and you were always turning down my offers to hang out,” she says with a small smile, trying to play off the fact that she had felt a bit rejected by this girl she barely knew. 

Christen nods, because now she gets it. “I’m sorry,” she frowns. “It wasn’t you,” she says, hoping to make her feel better. “I told you a little about my anxiety the other day,” she says and Tobin nods, remembering the conversation. “I just have a hard time talking to people and going out places. I just get really anxious and sometimes I even get panic attacks,” she admits, a bit embarrassed by the confession. She’s always felt pretty ashamed of her anxiety. It’s not like hanging out with people should be so hard and so scary. She just doesn’t know why it is for her. She’s always thought something was wrong with her. “It prevents me from doing a lot of things that I would like to do.” 

Tobin nods, taking in the information. She doesn’t exactly get it, because she has no idea what Christen feels. She’s never suffered from anxiety like that. “I can’t imagine what that is like,” she admits softly. “I’m sorry if I ever made you anxious or made you do something that you weren’t comfortable with,” she apologizes, looking over at the girl. 

“You haven’t,” Christen assures her, meeting Tobin’s eyes. “Honestly, I really want to go out and try new things. I want to try and push myself out of my comfort zone. It’s just so hard,” she says, taking in a shaky breath. “But, you always seem to make things a little less scary,” she admits softly, a shy smile on her face. 

Tobin beams at her and places her arm around Christen. “I’m always here for you, Chris. Whatever you need,” she assures her, pulling the girl closer to her. Christen just smiles in response and rests her head on Tobin’s shoulder.

The two sit in a comfortable silence for the next 20 minutes or so, just enjoying the view and each other’s company. But finally, Tobin knows that they should get back so she pulls away from Christen and stands up. 

“I should probably get you back so you can study some more,” she says, knowing that Christen hadn’t wanted to be gone too long. She doesn’t want to make her even more anxious and stressed out. 

Christen nods, and takes Tobin’s hand as she helps her up and off the rock. “Thank you for bringing me here,” Christen says, giving Tobin a soft smile. “I really needed this.” 

“Anytime,” Tobin says, smiling back at her. 

They head back down the mountain in mostly silence and a little bit of small talk. Tobin occasionally makes them stop so she can take photos of some of the scenery and of course more photos of Christen, which Christen is finding herself getting more comfortable with. 

She still feels herself getting a bit shy though, especially when she sees the fond smile Tobin has on her face as she looks at the photos she’s taken of her. “You’re a great subject,” Tobin smiles at her. 

Christen just blushes and shoves Tobin a bit, feeling a little embarrassed as she makes her keep walking. “Maybe I should take some photos of you,” Christen says, raising a brow at the girl. 

“No way,” Tobin shakes her head, continuing down the trail. 

“What? That’s not fair!” Christen whines in protest. 

Tobin just laughs, still not giving in, even as Christen makes cute little grabby hands for her camera. Tobin just starts running, trying to get away from Christen as she chases after her. “You are way prettier than I am,” Tobin says, turning around and taking another photo of Christen as she continues to jog backwards. 

Christen is reaching out trying to block the camera, but Tobin grins, maneuvering around her, taking photo after photo of her. “Watch where you are going,” Christen says through a fit of giggles as she watches Tobin shuffle backwards trying to get away from her, but still taking photos.

Before Tobin can even get a cocky remark out, she trips over a stray branch, tumbling backwards and landing on her ass. “Shit,” she grumbles looking around like she’s confused as to how she ended up on the ground. 

Christen laughs and pulls her phone out taking a picture of Tobin on the ground, a pout on her face. 

“Hey!” Tobin protests, realizing what Christen had done. 

Christen giggles and runs past Tobin easily getting away from her.

Tobin quickly stands back up and starts running after the girl she can still hear giggling. She’s running full force and barely notices that Christen had come to a halt, almost running into her. Tobin realizes that Christen is frowning down at a pretty steep part of the hill, covered in big rocks. It hadn’t been too hard getting up, but it looks a bit more difficult getting down. 

Tobin pretty easily climbs down the rocks and then turns back to Christen who is still standing at the top with a pout. 

“Help me,” she says cutely, reaching out for Tobin. 

Tobin grins at her, shaking her head at how cute she looks. “Come on,” she says reaching up and grabbing Christen’s hands. She helps her steadily climb down the rocks, her hands coming around to grasp at Christen’s waist as she almost slips down them. “I got you,” Tobin assures her.

They make it down without any more problems and Christen just smiles over at Tobin. “Thank you again for taking me up there,” she says sincerely. “I think you were right. I needed a break and some fresh air,” she says, feeling more relaxed than she has in awhile. 

“I’m always right,” Tobin says with a wink. 

Christen just shoves her playfully as they start heading back to the dorms. 

—-

Christen finally manages to get quite a bit of studying done without breaking into a panic attack every 5 minutes. Getting out of the room and hanging out with Tobin had definitely helped to relax her, which had made it a lot easier to try and focus and study. 

She decides to take a break, being pretty happy with her progress and moves over to her bed, lying down. She pulls her phone out and opens Instagram, scrolling through her feed. She smiles when she sees that Tyler had posted a photo of her and their dogs a couple of hours ago and feels her heart aching slightly. 

She furrows her brows when she looks at her notifications and sees hundreds of them. It’s weird considering she has less than 50 followers and rarely ever actually posts anything on the page.

She clicks on them and sees that they are all from a photo that Tobin tagged her in. It was the photo she had taken on top of the mountain of the two of them. She realizes that it has thousands of likes and hundreds of comments, a lot of them tagging herself. She furrows her brows and reads through a few of them realizing that a bunch of people were questioning if Tobin and her were a couple. Some of them had already come up with a hashtag for them. Some of them don’t seem too happy about the news. 

She quickly shuts her phone off and gets up, going across the hall to Tobin and Ashlyn’s room. The two of them are both lying on their own beds and Ali is cuddled up with Ashlyn on hers. 

They smile when they see her walking into the room, Tobin grinning the widest. “Hey, how’s the studying going?” Tobin asks, sitting up on her bed. 

“Fine,” Christen mumbles with a frown. 

“What’s wrong?” Tobin asks concerned. 

“Have you seen this?” Christen asks, pulling up the photo again and showing it to Tobin. 

“The photo that I took? I have,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen rolls her eyes at her casual attitude and the sarcastic remark. “No, the comments,” she frowns, sitting on the edge of Tobin’s bed. 

Tobin grabs the phone out of Christen’s hand and starts scrolling through them, a frown forming on her face as well. “Shit,” she mumbles. “I’m so sorry,” she says, looking up at Christen with wide apologetic eyes. 

“What’s going on?” Ali asks, her and Ashlyn both sitting up, looking at the girls with concern. 

Tobin bites her lip, looking a bit guilty. “I posted a photo of the two of us,” she says simply and that’s all it took for the realization to hit them. “People are going crazy thinking she is my girlfriend and asking a bunch of questions,” she sighs. “I’m such an idiot,” she mumbles. 

“Your fans can get kind of crazy,” Ashlyn says with a nod. “I’ve gotten some death threats before after Tobin posted a photo of us together,” Ashlyn says with a hint of amusement. 

Christen’s eyes widen at the thought. 

“They’re great, don’t get me wrong,” Tobin feels the need to say. “But yeah, I forget that I can’t just post pictures like this without all of this happening. They get pretty invasive with my personal life sometimes,” she frowns and then turns back to Christen. “I’m sorry for dragging you into this. I can take the photo down,” she offers. 

“That may just make it worse and look more suspicious,” Ashlyn says, offering her opinion. “I think the best thing to do is just ignore it,” she says, knowing it’s not exactly what either of them want to hear. 

Tobin groans and lies back on her bed. “Fuck, Chris, I’m sorry,” she says once again. 

Christen is still uncomfortable over the whole situation, but she sighs, shaking her head. “It’s not your fault Tobin. You are on the national team and you are in the spotlight. You have fans, it’s going to happen,” she says, knowing that it’s true. 

“I know, but I should have thought before I posted a picture of us together. I should have known it would happen and I should have never subjected you to all of this,” she sighs, feeling terrible. She knows that Christen already has problems with anxiety and she’s very reserved and shy. She doesn’t want to make it worse or make Christen uncomfortable. 

“I told you, you could post it. It’s fine,” Christen tries to assure her. Sure, she still hates it, but she doesn’t want Tobin to feel bad about it. It’s not her fault that her fans get this way. And honestly, she feels it’s a bit unfair for Tobin to have to worry about what she’s posting constantly. “I’m sorry that you have to deal with this all the time. I couldn’t imagine.” 

Tobin sighs but then sits back up looking over at Christen, giving her a small smile. “It’s fine. Comes with it, I guess,” she shrugs. “Besides, you should probably start getting used to it now,” Tobin says, which confuses Christen. “You’ll be playing on the national team before you know it and you’ll have your own crazy fans to deal with,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen frowns at the thought. She’s always dreamt of playing on the national team and becoming a professional soccer player, but she had never really thought about this part of it. She knows that she can’t keep herself from the spotlight if she continues down this path and that makes her a bit anxious. 

“This is a super cute photo, though,” Ashlyn says, making the girls look over at her, to see her and Ali looking at it on her own phone, obviously looking at the photo on instagram. 

“You guys are adorable,” Ali comments with a smile.

Christen blushes, and she swears she even sees Tobin blush at the comment too, but she lays back down, burying her face in her pillow before anyone can really notice. “I can’t believe this is happening,” Tobin groans. “I won’t post anymore and maybe they’ll just forget about it,” she says hopefully. 

Christen smiles and shrugs her shoulders, because she’s not really sure. 

“No way they are going to forget Tobin Heath’s hot girlfriend,” Ashlyn says, wiggling her eyebrows at the two. 

“I’m not her girlfriend,” Christen mumbles, embarrassed. Though the thought of being called Tobin’s girlfriend, sends those familiar butterflies flying around in her stomach. 

“According to her fans you are,” Ashlyn winks. 

Tobin just groans into her pillow again. “It’s okay,” Christen tells her again with a smile, feeling a little better about the whole situation. Though she still has some reservations over it all. She knows there isn’t much that can be done. And maybe they will just forget about it eventually. “Really, it is,” she confirms when Tobin gives her a skeptical look. “We just have to live our lives right?” 

Tobin bites down on her lip, not really sure if Christen is completely okay, but she nods her head anyway. 

“Where did you take this anyway?” Ali asks curiously. 

“Christen was stressed out about studying so we went on a hike. Get some fresh air and all that,” she shrugs, not really wanting them to make it a big deal, like she has a feeling they want to. 

Ali and Ashlyn just nod their heads, giving each other a secret smile. Thankfully they don’t say anything though.

“It was really pretty,” Christen comments with a smile. “I had fun. I also got a great photo of Tobin,” she says, pulling her phone back out and opening the photo she had taken when Tobin fell on the ground. 

“Chris!” Tobin shouts, trying to take the phone out of Christen’s hand. 

But Christen jumps off her bed and onto Ashlyn’s with a giggle. She sits next to the couple, showing off the photo proudly. “She tripped and fell,” Christen feels the need to inform them, making Tobin groan in embarrassment. 

“Look at that pout!” Ali squeals, pointing to the phone in excitement. 

All three of them just laugh at the photo, clearly very entertained by it as Tobin just sits on the bed opposite them, pouting. “That branch jumped out of nowhere,” Tobin grumbles. 

“Sure, Toby,” Christen says with a cute giggle. 

Tobin flushes at the nickname, and can’t find it in her to get mad at Christen for it. For some reason it doesn’t sound so bad when she says it. Especially with that cute little grin on her face. 

—-

They have their first away game a few days later and Christen walks onto the bus, looking around. Half the girls are already there, most of them sitting quietly with headphones in their ears, which is surprising. She doesn’t think that she has ever seen the team so quiet and calm. 

She walks down the rows and doesn’t really know where to sit so she just decides to sit towards the back by herself. However, she’s not alone for long because Tobin plops down next to her, a big smile on her face. “Do you have a bus buddy yet?” She asks excitedly. 

Christen furrows her brows, “What?” She asks confused. 

“Everyone has a bus buddy. We sit with them every away game,” she explains. “It’s tradition and you can’t move spots once you choose,” she says seriously. 

Christen cracks a grin, but then realizes that Tobin is being serious so she frowns and shakes her head. “Well, no, I guess I don’t have one then,” she shrugs, not really sure how she feels about this superstition. She’s never really been one for believing in them. 

“Great! I’ll be yours then,” she says with finality, sitting back in the seat next to Christen. 

“Don’t you already have one?” She asks curiously, knowing that Tobin has been here for a year already. 

“Well, Alex was mine last year, but I’m sure she won’t mind,” she says and then glances up at Alex who is glaring at her. “Whoops,” she giggles, knowing how seriously Alex takes this superstition. But, she doesn’t really care, she wants to sit with Christen. 

Christen glances over at Alex too and notices the look on her face. “Maybe you should just go and sit with her,” Christen suggests, not wanting anyone to be upset with her, especially not her roommate. 

“She will be fine,” Tobin says loud enough for Alex to hear her, waving her hand at her. “New year, new bus buddy!” She announces.

Christen just giggles and sits back in her seat, realizing it’s pointless to argue with Tobin. “Okay, but I kind of just want to listen to my music and meditate,” she says softly. “I don’t really want to talk,” she says hoping that Tobin won’t mind. 

“Oh yeah, for sure,” Tobin agrees, pulling out her own headphones. She puts them in her ears and sends Christen a wink, making herself comfortable in the seat and closing her eyes. 

Christen just watches her with a smile, before doing the same. 

—-

They won their game, but Christen didn’t get any minutes this time. She’s a bit disappointed, but she knows that she shouldn’t be. She’s a freshman and she knows that she isn’t going to get to play in every game. She’s just happy to be here and be there for whatever her team needs from her, even if it’s just support.

Kelley sits down next to her on the bus as they all start to trickle in and she looks at her curiously. “Great game,” Kelley says with a grin. 

Christen just laughs and shakes her head. “I didn’t even play,” she points out. 

“Yeah, but you looked good on that bench,” she says with an exaggerated wink, making Christen blush. 

“Well you had a great game,” she then compliments. “Except for that yellow card,” she smirks. 

“Ah that ref was an idiot,” she waves off, though they know it wasn’t true. It had been a fair call and it was a dirty tackle from Kelley. She’s known to get pretty intense on the field and everyone knows it. 

“You can’t steal my bus buddy,” Tobin frowns, walking up the aisle and standing next to them. 

Kelley just gives her a mischievous look, making Tobin frown even harder. “I don’t want your bus buddy,” she says with an exaggerated sigh. “I was just saying hi,” she rolls her eyes. She gets up and lets Tobin have the seat, walking over to her own seat next to Emily. 

Tobin settles into her seat and smiles over at Christen. “Great game,” she says and Christen just rolls her eyes with a smile, having just had the same conversation. 

“You did great,” Christen smiles at her.

“Eh,” Tobin shrugs. “Not my best game,” she admits. 

Christen looks at her incredulously because she had done amazing. “You had two assists,” she points out. “And you made their defense look like fools,” she giggles. 

Tobin chuckles and smiles proudly. “Wasn’t hard to do,” she smirks. “I always forget you are a big fan,” Tobin says with a cocky grin. 

Christen just groans and shakes her head. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” She questions with a chuckle. 

Tobin just shakes her head, smiling widely. “Never,” she confirms. 

“Your head is too big,” Christen jokes with her, nudging her with her elbow.

Tobin laughs and shrugs her shoulders, “You just keep making it bigger,” she retorts.

Christen shakes her head, “I’ll never compliment you again,” she assures her with a smile. 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to help yourself,” Tobin smirks, just making Christen scoff. 

Megan pokes her head up over the seat before Christen can respond to her, giving both the girls a smile. “We are all going out again tonight,” she informs them. “Obviously you have to come,” she says, not really leaving much room to argue. 

“I’m down,” Tobin quickly agrees. Christen just gives her a smile, and Pinoe accepts the answer, turning back around in her seat.

But Christen frowns as Tobin turns to look at her, shaking her head. “I think I’m just going to hang out in my dorm,” she admits. She hadn’t wanted to tell Pinoe that because she knew that it would just spark an argument. And right now when she is trapped on a moving bus, she doesn’t really want to submit herself to that. 

“No! You have to come!” Tobin whines, giving her best puppy dog eyes. 

Christen smiles at her, but still shakes her head. “I just don’t really feel like being in a crowded place and around a lot of people right now. I just want some quiet time,” she admits. Some days are better than others with her anxiety but tonight she just really wasn’t in the mood to deal with all of it. It had been a long day and she just wants to go to her room. 

“Well, we could just hang out together. Watch a movie or something?” Tobin suggests. 

Christen is a little surprised at the offer, not figuring Tobin would want to skip out on going out with the team to just hang out with her. “No that’s okay,” Christen says softly, giving Tobin a small smile. “Go out with team,” she encourages her, not wanting to hold her back. 

Tobin frowns in response. “I don’t mind just hanging out with you,” she tells her. 

“That’s sweet, but really it’s okay.” She assures her. “Go have fun. I just want to have some alone time. Maybe do some reading.”

Tobin looks like she’s thinking it over for a few minutes before she finally nods, still frowning a bit. “Okay.” 

—-

Before Tobin goes out with the girls, she stops by Christen’s room, finding her on her bed reading a book, just like she’d said she wanted to do. She’s wearing glasses and Tobin has never seen them on her before, and she looks a mixture between sexy and just completely adorable. Tobin’s not really sure how she can be both, but she definitely is. 

When Christen spots her, she puts her book aside and smiles up at the girl. “Hi,” she greets happily.

“Hey,” Tobin says back, smiling just as widely. She walks into the room and sits down on the foot of Christen’s bed. “You look adorable in those,” Tobin comments, pointing at her glasses. 

Christen looks down shyly, picking at the comforter. “Thanks,” she says quietly, still not really used to getting compliments. Though, Tobin has been giving her a lot. 

“I’m about to head out. You sure you don’t want to come with us?” She asks, a bit hopefully. 

“I already tried,” Tobin hears Alex’s voice. It startles her a bit, because honestly she hadn’t even realized that Alex was in the room. She’d just been so focused on Christen. “She’s pretty adamant on just hanging out alone on a Friday night,” Alex says with a sigh.

“Hey, Alex,” Tobin says, turning to look at the girl, feeling a bit embarrassed. She hopes that Alex hadn’t just witnessed that whole exchange or noticed that Tobin had completely missed her. If she had, she doesn’t say anything about it. 

Christen shifts next to her, a bit uncomfortably, feeling judged. “I enjoy being alone,” she shrugs. “I’d rather just read than go out,” she says honestly. 

“Lame,” Alex says, but not in a rude way. 

“Please, it took us months to get you to start hanging out with us,” Tobin reminds the girl.

Alex narrows her eyes, but then shrugs her shoulders, knowing that it was true. “Well I’m trying to keep her from my mistakes,” she shrugs, before continuing to get ready, putting her jewelry on. 

“I want you to come, but of course it’s okay if you’d just rather stay here,” Tobin says, trying to make her feel better. “Or you know, the offer still stands for me to just hang out here with you?” She asks once again. 

“No way!” Alex says from across the room. “You can’t both bail,” she frowns. 

Tobin sighs and turns away from Alex, focusing back on Christen and giving her an encouraging smile. “No, it’s okay, Christen says again. “Go have fun, okay?” She tells her, giving her a smile of her own. 

“Okay,” Tobin sighs. “I’ll see you later,” she says, giving Christen’s leg a gentle squeeze. “Let’s go baby horse,” she says, getting up off of Christen’s bed and heading for the door.

“I’m coming,” Alex whines, rushing to get her heels on her feet. “Bye, Christen!” She yells before grabbing her bag and being pulled out the door by Tobin. 

Christen smiles at them, a part of her kind of wanting to go hang out with them. Or at least tell Tobin to come back and hang out with her. But, she knows that she can’t hold Tobin back like that when the girl really wants to go out with her friends. She’s not going to make her trade in a night of fun for a boring night alone with her in their dorm. 

So, Christen just turns her attention back to her book, planning on having a nice quiet night in. 

——

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! As always, please leave me some comments and tell me what you are thinking! I love the reassurance that you guys are enjoying this and that I should keep going!
> 
> Find me on tumblr for any questions or just to talk! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	6. Chapter Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for all of the feedback as always! I'm sorry that I never got around to replying to some of you! I've been pretty busy and honestly had to force this chapter a bit... hopefully you guys still enjoy it!

Christen is leaving her class planning on heading back to her dorm room to start studying. But she spots a familiar SnapBack across the courtyard, making her smile. It still surprises her a little, how happy she gets just by seeing Tobin. She’s squatting down on the ground, leaning over something and out of curiosity, Christen walks over to her. 

As she gets closer, she realizes that Tobin is painting. She has a canvas on the ground that she is using, but there is probably more paint on Tobin’s hands and clothes than there is on the actual canvas which makes her chuckle. Honestly the mess would stress her out, but she can’t help but think it’s totally Tobin.

Tobin looks up at the sound of Christn’s laugh and instantly smiles when she sees her. “Hey,” she greets her. Christen giggles again when she sees paint on Tobin’s cheek as well.

“Hi,” Christen smiles back, stepping closer and admiring Tobin’s work. “The grass looks great,” she jokes, noticing all of the paint covering the blades.

Tobin gives her a glare, but then smiles. “It’ll wash off in the rain,” she shrugs. “It’s not harmful.”

Christen just nods her head, figuring that Tobin is right. “But really, your painting looks really cool,” Christen compliments her, jokes aside. “You’re really talented,” Christen says, amazed. She’s great at soccer, photography and now painting. She wants to know what other talents Tobin has.

“I didn’t really have an idea. I just kind of started painting randomly,” she shrugs, frowning down at it, clearly not as impressed with it as Christen is.

“Well, I like it,” she says with a smile. “And it’s mostly pink, which is my favorite color,” she informs her. 

Tobin laughs and looks up at Christen. “Pink would be your favorite color,” she smirks, shaking her head. She looks back down and continues her painting, drawing random shapes onto it.

Christen frowns at her and nudges Tobin’s leg with her foot. “What’s wrong with pink?” She asks, offended. 

Tobin looks back up at her with a grin. “Nothing,” she shakes her head. “Mine’s orange,” she tells her, pointing to the orange that she’s about to add to the painting as well.

Christen chuckles at that. “Of course,” she says, and now it’s Tobin’s turn to look offended. “Orange is the color they put on traffic cones and danger warnings so that people see it coming from far away,” she informs her. 

“Yeah well, I should probably come with a warning,” she says with a smirk, making Christen giggle. 

“Can I watch you?” Christen asks with a shy smile. 

Tobin just shrugs and nods her head. “Sure, but I don’t know how entertaining I’ll be,” she admits. 

Christen sits down against a tree a foot away from Tobin and leans back against it. “That’s okay. I like watching you,” she says and then blushes at the words, knowing they could be taken another way. Tobin smirks at her, but thankfully doesn’t say anything else. 

And Christen really does enjoy watching her. Tobin looks so concentrated, biting down on her bottom lip, her eyes furrowed in concentration. She looks adorable and sexy all at the same time and Christen doesn’t really know what to do with herself. It’s not the first time that she has noticed Tobin’s hands and how strong they look and how good they feel when she touches her. But watching those same hands delicately hold the brush, carefully stroking over the canvas is another thing. She loves Tobin’s hands, she realizes. 

And she’s really not doing a great job at getting over this crush. It’s just getting worse. 

After a few minutes, Christen decides that she really needs to stop staring at Tobin and those beautiful hands that are making her feel things that she doesn’t need to be feeling. She pulls a book out of her bag and decides to start reading, feeling pretty relaxed by the decent weather they are finally having in Portland. It’s mostly overcast so she’s happy for a sunny day. It reminds her of home. Even if it is still colder than LA.

“I thought you were going to watch me,” Tobin chirps, noticing Christen reading. “Did I bore you already?” She asks, in a teasing tone. 

Christen shakes her head and smiles, a small blush forming on her cheeks, “No, it’s just a nice day. I like reading outside when it’s nice,” she informs her. Obviously she’s not going to tell Tobin what she’s feeling and why she really needs to stop watching her. She’s not sure what she would do if she continued, honestly. 

Tobin just hums and goes back to her painting, the two of them sitting in silence doing their own thing, but together. Christen tries to focus on her book, but finds herself glancing up and watching Tobin still, every few minutes. She really can’t seem to look away. 

Half an hour later, Kelley, Lindsey and Emily walk past them and immediately stop, excited to see them. “What are you guys up to?” Kelley asks and they all gather around to look at Tobin’s work. “That looks like a 5 year old did it,” Kelley says teasingly, making Tobin frown, though she hides it quickly just scowling at Kelley and swatting her away. 

“I think it looks cool,” Christen defends. 

“I do too,” Lindsey says with a kind smile, leaning down to admire the work closer. 

“At least some people have some taste,” Tobin says, shooting Kelley a glare, who just smiles, clearly not bothered. She’d mostly just been teasing Tobin anyway. 

“Tobs, we’re all talking about hanging out before you, Alex and Pinoe leave,” Kelley informs them. “You guys get to pick what we do,” she says, clapping her hands excitedly. “But it better be good,” she adds, narrowing her eyes. 

Christen just looks confused. “Where are you going?” 

“There are a couple of friendlies coming up with the national team and our girls are the stars!” Kelley says proudly. 

Christen frowns, because she doesn’t know how she had missed that. But then she smiles over at Tobin, not wanting her to think that she wasn’t happy for her. “That’s really exciting,” she says honestly. She’s a little jealous, but of course she is happy for her teammates. She just hopes that one day, she will be with them. 

“Yeah,” Tobin smiles. “We have two games in Texas, we’ll be gone for a week,” she informs her. “I just can’t wait until you are going with me,” she says, sending Christen a wink. 

“Hey,” Kelley complains. “What about me?” She asks, shoving Tobin and making her fall over onto the grass. 

Tobin just laughs and reaches out swatting at Kelley’s leg. “Sure, I guess I want that to happen too,” she says with an exaggerated sigh, rolling her eyes. Though, they all know that she is kidding. Tobin loves all of her teammates and would love for all of them to be on the team with her. 

“Well, I don’t know if that will happen for me,” Christen says honestly, not really trying to be down on herself, but speaking the truth. She’s trying not to get her hopes up too much, just to be let down. 

“I know it will,” Tobin says confidently. 

“It’s going to happen for all of us,” Emily says with just as much confidence. “We’re baddass’,” she says with a grin. 

“Truth!” Kelley shouts, high fiving the other girls. 

She reaches over Tobin a bit ungracefully to high five Christen as well. Christen just giggles as she high fives her back. 

“We’ll leave you two, to all of this crazy fun you were getting up to,” she says sarcastically but with a grin. “We’re going to the gym to go swimming,” she says with an excited grin. 

Christen just smiles as she watches the three hyperactive girls leave and then turns back to Tobin. “So when are you leaving?” She asks curiously. She knows that it’s strange, but the thought of Tobin being gone for a week is a bit unsettling. 

“Two days,” Tobin replies simply. 

“Oh,” Christen frowns. “I can’t believe I didn’t realize,” she admits, feeling a bit embarrassed. “I usually keep up with the national team better than that,” she states. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin shrugs. “You have a lot going on right now with school and soccer and all that. Your first semester can be hard,” she tries to reason, not really thinking that it should be a big deal. 

“Still,” Christen presses. 

Tobin sends her a mischievous smile. “I forget you are my number one fan,” she says with a smirk. “How dare you not know,” she says teasingly. 

“Oh shut up,” Christen groans, reaching out to kick Tobin, knocking her off balance from where she was squatting and sending her to the ground again. 

“Why do people keep doing that?” Tobin grumbles, getting back up again and this time just sitting in the grass, criss crossed. 

Christen just smiles at her and scoots closer, sitting criss crossed across from her. “I’m going to miss you,” she finds herself saying, boldly and then blushes at her statement. “I mean, we will miss you...for the game we have this week,” she tries to cover, but Tobin smiles at her, knowing the real meaning. “But, I know that you are too good for this little old college team,” she says with a dramatic sigh.

Tobin smirks, shaking her head because she knows that isn’t the case. She loves this team and she loves playing with them almost more than she does the national team. “I’ll miss you too,” Tobin tells her seriously, ignoring how Christen had tried to deflect the comment. 

Christen bites down on her lip, keeping the steady eye contact with Tobin, which makes her face heat up. They smile at each other for a few moments, just looking into each other’s eyes, seemingly lost in them. Christen bites down on her lip and she can’t help but notice how Tobin’s eyes drop down to her lips. But before anything else can be done, Tobin breaks the eye contact, clearing her throat a bit awkwardly and looking down at her painting. 

“Anyway, I’m sure they’re going to want to hang out tonight,” Tobin says, looking back up at Christen, and rubbing the back of her neck. “Will you come?” She asks hopefully, knowing that Christen doesn’t always like to hang out in big groups or go out with them. 

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Christen confirms with a grin. 

—-

They end up going to the fields to play a scrimmage match, because that’s what Tobin had voted for and the others were pretty quick to agree. They’re playing soccer almost constantly but not one of them had protested to getting to play a game for fun with each other. They all basically breathed soccer and wanted to play all the time. They especially love playing against each other.

Christen is pleased because she was going to hang out with them no matter what, but this way she didn’t have to worry about going out to a crowded bar or something that she was pretty sure they were going to suggest. And honestly, being on the field playing soccer with them hardly gave her any anxiety at all. It was quite the opposite really. 

She still feels a bit of pressure to be playing with them, because they are all so good, but mostly she’s just having fun with them. There are no coaches and no real opponents. She wasn’t being judged and it wasn’t the end of the world if she didn’t score a goal every chance she got. 

She felt free. And it showed. 

When she makes the first goal for her team, Tobin is of course the first one to run over to her, picking her up and spinning her around, just like they had done at her first cap. But this time, Tobin keeps spinning her around, making her giggle. “Tobin!” She squeals, hanging on tight. 

Tobin grins and finally sets her back down on the ground, but doesn’t pull away from her. “I love seeing you like this,” she whispers. “So carefree. You look so happy,” she says, pulling away and smiling widely at Christen. 

Christen just beams in response before the others come up, tackling her into a hug.

The game ends and Tobin’s team wins of course and Christen had been the first teammate that she had chosen as a captain. Tobin slings her arm around Christen’s shoulders as they start to walk off the field, headed towards all of their things and their water. “You did so great,” Tobin tells her with a grin. “I’ve never seen you smile so much,” she says with a grin. 

Christen can’t help herself from smiling once again. She really does feel so happy right now. “You did great too,” Christen replies, leaning into Tobin. 

“Seriously though, you looked so happy out there. You were smiling the whole match,” Tobin says, happy that Christen seems so happy. And it wasn’t like she looked miserable during their real games, but she had definitely noticed a difference. She knows that it’s mostly due to Christen’s anxiety and the pressure she feels during their real games. She just wishes she could let loose a little more during those games as well. She wishes that she’d stop being so hard on herself and criticizing everything that she does. 

“This was fun. It was nice to not feel so much pressure,” Christen admits. “Sometimes I forget how fun soccer is and how much I really just love the game. I get so caught up in doing well and winning,” she says with a small frown.

“Well, I’m always happy to help you remember your love for the game,” Tobin tells her warmly, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze, her arm still around her.

“I demand a rematch,” Kelley complains, folding her arms across her chest as she approaches the two. 

“You lost, get over it,” Tobin smirks. She lets go of Christen and picks her water bottle up, squirting some water at Kelley with a laugh. 

Kelley’s eyes widen and she grabs her own bottle squirting some back at Tobin who takes off running. 

Christen just watches, shaking her head at their antics as they chase each other around, trying to squirt each other. 

“Great game,” Ashlyn says, coming up and putting her arm around Christen. “Those goals were gorgeous,” she says with a wide smile. 

“And you had some great saves,” Christen says back, with a smile just as wide. 

“Oh get a room,” Ali says teasingly coming up to the two girls. 

Ashlyn sends her a wink and then pulls her arm from around Christen. “You’re just mad because you lost,” Ashlyn tells her, moving to put her arm around Ali now. But Ali pushes her away, rolling her eyes, a small smile evident on her face though. Ashlyn gasps at the rejection and bear hugs her girlfriend, forcing her into a hug, which makes Ali giggle. 

Christen watches them with a grin and then turns to find Tobin, who is walking towards her, a smile on her face. 

“You guys play so well together,” Ali comments, looking between Tobin and Christen. “Your chemistry on the field is amazing,” she adds, making the two girls blush. “It’s like you guys just always knew where the other was. You didn’t even have to look.”

“Eh, it’s all Chris,” Tobin says, brushing the compliment off. 

Christen blushes even harder and looks down shyly. “Please, I wouldn’t be able to do anything without your great crosses,” she tells her, giving her a soft smile. The two girls just grin at each other until Ashlyn interrupts them with a gag. 

“Maybe you guys should get a room,” she comments with a smirk, and Ali nudges her side giving her a look.

Christen’s eyes widen and she almost chokes on the water she’d been drinking. 

“Shut up,” Tobin grumbles, sending her friend a glare, but none of them miss the blush on her face no matter how hard she tries to hide it.

“Come on let's go get changed and showered. I think we need to end the night with a movie or something,” Ali suggests, looking over to Tobin and Christen. 

Tobin nods her head, “I’m down. I definitely don’t feel like going out. I’m exhausted,” she says truthfully, aware that Kelley and the others are probably going to want to go out afterwards. She looks over at Christen with a hopeful smile. 

“Sure,” Christen nods, surprising Tobin a bit. She knew that Christen had already taken so much of her day out to hang out with them, she figured she’d just want to call it a night after this. “I’m going to walk around first,” she says, taking her shoes and socks off. 

Tobin watches her curiously as the others all head back into the locker rooms. “What are you doing?” Tobin asks softly, noticing that Christen has her eyes closed, wiggling her toes in the grass.

“Earthing,” Christen responds simply, not opening her eyes. 

“What is that?” Tobin asks and then winces because she feels like she’s being annoying and Christen probably wants some quiet. She looks so relaxed.

Christen opens her eyes and gives Tobin a smile though, not annoyed at her in the slightest. “When you walk barefoot in the grass or the dirt or anything that helps you connect to the Earth and the Earth’s electrons.” She explains and Tobin just nods in response. Honestly, she’s always walked around barefoot, but she never knew there was a term for it or an actual reason to do it. She just hates wearing shoes. “It has a bunch of health benefits, but it also helps with my anxiety. It’s really relaxing,” she informs her. 

“Can I do it with you?” Tobin asks with a shy smile. 

Christen smiles and nods her head. “Of course.” 

Tobin grins and quickly takes her shoes and socks off, feeling the grass beneath her feet. She walks next to Christen and the two walk the entire length of the field in back in a comfortable silence. Christen was right, it was pretty relaxing and it definitely made her feel more connected. To the Earth, as well as to Christen.

—-

Ashlyn, Ali, Tobin and Christen all end up settling in for a movie night. There had been a lot of harassment and nagging to go out with all the others, but they’d managed to get everyone off their back and force them out of the dorm eventually. They’d of course offered for the others to just join them for a quiet night in, but they’d refused the offer saying they all needed to go out and have fun together. 

Christen was happy that some of the girls just wanted to hang out in the dorm and watch a movie. She probably would have gone out with everyone if that’s what Tobin had wanted to do, but she was much more comfortable just staying in. And tonight was Tobin’s night. She had told her that she’d hang out with her and she was going to do whatever Tobin wanted to do. 

Honestly, even though they’ve only known each other for a few weeks and don’t know each other all that well yet, Christen is really going to miss her. She’s really the first friend that Christen feels like she has made in awhile. She wants to spend as much time with her as she can before she leaves. 

She sits down on the foot of Tobin’s bed, a bit awkwardly, not really knowing where she should sit. Tobin is sitting up against her headboard and of course Ali and Ashlyn are already cuddling on Ashlyn’s bed before the movie had really even gotten started. 

It was some romcom they’d found on Netflix and Christen really has no idea what it is about. She hardly ever watches TV or movies, but she’s pretty much down to watch anything that they want to watch. 

“Come sit next to me,” Tobin says, patting the spot on the bed next to her. “I won’t bite,” she says with a wink. 

Christen blushes but moves up, settling next to Tobin. She bites down on her lip, feeling their arms and legs brushing together. Her skin feels hot all of a sudden and she’s more focused on their touching body parts than she is the actual movie. 

She glances over at Tobin and sees that her eyes are focused on the movie. Christen can’t help but let her eyes linger, taking in Tobin’s strong jawline and her gorgeous features. Yeah, she definitely has a crush on this girl and she’s not really sure what to do with this information because it’s getting harder and harder to ignore. Earlier she hadn’t been able to stop staring at Tobin’s hands and now she can’t stop staring at her face, that strong gorgeous jawline. But she knows that she has to get a grip on this and figure something out. 

Obviously, Tobin has stated that she doesn’t want a relationship, plus they aren’t really supposed to date other team members. Not that it’s an actual rule. It’s just frowned upon. 

Either way, she knows that it’s not going to happen. And that it doesn’t need to happen. She needs to focus on school, and Tobin doesn’t even want to date her in the first place. So it really doesn’t matter. 

Tobin looks over at her after a few moments and Christen curses at herself for staring so long. But, Tobin just grins at her, obviously not feeling too put off by it. Christen smiles back at her for a moment and then decides she should probably actually try and watch this movie and stop being creepy. 

Though she’s a lot more tired than she had realized because 15 minutes later she feels herself yawning and slumping back against the bed a bit, her eyes feeling heavy.

“Tired?” Tobin whispers, leaning closer to Christen and Christen can feel her breath on her cheek. It makes her shiver and she just nods her head in response, letting out another yawn. 

Tobin chuckles quietly. “Me too,” she admits in a soft voice. ”Kicking your teammates ass takes a lot out of you,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen just giggles in response and nods her head. 

“Keep it down!” Ashlyn complains, throwing a pillow in their direction. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and gives Christen a smile, not responding to the couple on the other bed. She puts her arm around Christen and pulls the girl closer to her.

Christen is a bit surprised at the action, but she doesn’t complain. It’s not the first time that Tobin has put her arm around her, it’s actually becoming a normal thing for the two of them. Though, it’s never been in a dark room or on her bed. It feels a bit different. But at the same time, it’s familiar and Christen just snuggles into her warmth, laying her head on Tobin’s shoulder. 

She ends up falling asleep sometime during the movie. She’s not really sure how long she’d been asleep, but she’s woken up by the sound of giggling. She furrows her brows and starts to stir, feeling a warm body next to her and a weight on top of her head. 

She opens her eyes and remembers that she had fallen asleep laying on Tobin and she’s still in that position. Tobin’s head is laying on top of her as well. She smiles and, still half asleep just cuddles closer to Tobin, feeling relaxed and warm. But then she remembers the giggles and opens her eyes again, looking around. 

She notices Ali and Ashlyn standing next to the bed, Ashlyn taking pictures of them. Her brows furrow as she tries to wake herself up and get her bearings together. “What are you doing?” She asks confused, carefully picking her head up off of Tobin’s shoulder, which wakes the other girl up as well. 

Ashlyn turns her phone around and shows them the pictures of the two of them cuddled up, asleep. “You guys looked too cute. I couldn’t help it,” she admits with a shrug. 

“You are such a creep,” Tobin complains. “Delete that,” she says, sending a glare Ashlyn’s way. 

Tobin pulls away from Christen quickly, putting a decent amount of space between them. She looks pretty upset and it makes Christen frown. 

“No way,” Ashlyn responds, sitting back down on the bed next to Ali. “I thought you guys would appreciate it,” she says with a smile, but only gets a harder glare from Tobin. “Or you know, it’s great blackmail material for later,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen just shifts a bit uncomfortably. She’s not really mad about the photo because she knows that Ashlyn would never actually use it against them or post it or anything. She’s just a little anxious about how angry Tobin seems to be about it. Tobin had been the one to initiate the cuddling and now she seems like she doesn’t even want to touch Christen. 

“Sorry,” Christen mumbles, not really sure what she is apologizing for, but feeling the need to anyway. It’s a bad habit of hers.

Tobin sighs and looks over at Christen feeling a bit guilty. She knows that she may have overreacted a bit. She’s just not used to being affectionate with girls like this and she definitely doesn’t like her teammates catching her in the act. They’re always on her back about stuff like this and she knows they’re never going to let it go. “No,” Tobin tells her. “I’m sorry. You know I’m grumpy when I first wake up,” she admits with another sigh.

“The photos are deleted,” Ali says, grabbing Ashlyn’s phone out of her hands, much to the blonde’s protests. 

“Thanks,” Tobin sighs, giving Christen a side glance. The girl still has a frown on her face and looks pretty anxious. It makes Tobin feel like shit. 

“I’m going to head to bed,” Christen finally says, standing up off of Tobin’s bed. “I had fun, thanks for having me over,” she says softly, giving Ashlyn and Ali a smile, but she doesn’t look back at Tobin. 

They both give her a small smile in return, feeling bad for her as well. They can see that she looks upset and they feel a little bad. Especially Ashlyn. She should have known not to mess with Tobin like this, though she didn’t think she’d react as badly as she did. 

“Night, Chris,” Tobin says, giving Christen a smile, trying to ease the tension. 

Christen turns back to glance at Tobin and gives her a small smile that doesn’t fully reach her eyes. “Night,” she says before she walks out of their dorm and across the hall. 

“You guys suck,” Tobin mumbles, laying back on her bed. 

“I really didn’t think you were going to react that badly,” Ashlyn frowns. 

Tobin huffs and turns her head to look at them. “You were creeping on us while we slept,” she glares.

Ashlyn just raises a brow at her. “Please, we are always taking videos and photos of each other when we fall asleep. You are lucky that I didn’t draw on your face,” she says with a smirk. 

“It’s different,” Tobin huffs. 

“Why? Because you were cuddling Press?” Ashlyn asks with a pointed look.

“Don’t,” Tobin says bitterly, not wanting to talk about it. She knows that she is probably never going to hear the end of it from them. She really needs to get a better grip on whatever this is with Christen. It’s almost like she is starting to have feelings for her, and Tobin doesn’t do feelings or relationships. 

Sure, she can admit that she is attracted to Christen. How could she not be? Christen is one of the most naturally gorgeous women that she has ever met. But feelings? No, that definitely wasn’t happening. 

She gets even more annoyed at herself though, because she can’t help but feel the need for Christen to come back and cuddle with her again. She already misses her warmth and closeness. 

“I’m going to bed,” she grumbles, getting under her covers and turning her back towards the couple. 

—-

Christen is coming back to her dorm room after her early morning yoga session and catches Tobin walking out of her own dorm. They make eye contact and it feels a bit awkward, which makes Christen anxious. She’d gotten to where she feels so comfortable around Tobin and just seeing her would ease all of her worries. But now it seems like they are back at the beginning. Maybe even worse.

Tobin considers going back to her room, not really wanting to face Christen, but decides against it. “Hey,” she mumbles softly as the girl approaches her. 

“Hi,” Christen replies quietly. 

It’s awkward and Tobin hates it. “Did you uh.. do some yoga?” She asks, noticing the mat in Christen’s hands and her outfit. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods simply. 

They just look at each other for a few tense moments, until Tobin sighs, her body deflating. “I’m really sorry about last night,” she says, rubbing the back of her neck. “It really wasn’t a big deal,” she shrugs. “I was just being grumpy and I definitely didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” she apologizes. 

“It’s okay,” Christen says with a small smile. She’s not really sure what to say either, because she’s not completely sure what is going on and why things had gotten so weird. 

“Can we just act like it never happened? I hate how weird things are now,” Tobin asks softly. 

Christen wants to ask more because she’s still kind of confused. She wants to know why Tobin had been so upset. She’d been the one to initiate the cuddling, even with Ashlyn and Ali next to them. But then she’d seemed so ashamed to be caught doing it and almost acted like she was mad at Christen for it. 

But Christen also hates how weird things are and she really just wants to go back to how things were before. If she starts asking questions it may just upset Tobin more. “Sure,” she replies with a nod. “I don’t like it either,” she agrees.

“Okay, good.” Tobin smiles with a sigh of relief. “I’m going to get some coffee, you want to come?” She asks hopefully. 

“I already got some,” Christen responds. “I met up with Ali and Julie.” 

“Oh,” Tobin replies with a frown. “Okay, well I’ll see you later?” 

“Yeah,” Christen nods. She gives Tobin another smile and just walks back into her dorm room, not saying anymore. 

Tobin can’t help but frown because even though they said things were forgotten, she can’t help but feel they aren’t. Things still seem weird, and she’s not really sure what to do about it. 

But, she doesn’t push Christen anymore to hang out with her. Because she also decides that maybe a small break from Christen won’t be the worst idea. She’s still trying to process her thoughts and all of her feelings. She has to get some sort of control over all of this before she can really be around her again.

—-

When Christen walks into her dorm she shuts the door behind her and then hears a groan from the other side of the room. She turns and sees Alex in bed, wincing. “Do you have to be so loud?” She asks with another groan. 

“Sorry,” Christen just mumbles, walking across the room. She puts her mat and everything away before pulling out her planner to look over her day again. 

“I drank way too much last night,” Alex mumbles.

“Me too,” Kelley says, making Christen jump around, confused by the third voice in the room. 

“Kelley?” She asks confused, noticing the girl in Alex’s bed for the first time. “Were you here all night?” She asks confused. She’d heard Alex come in late that night, or really just early in the morning. But she hadn’t paid much attention and just went back to sleep. She hadn’t even noticed Kelley coming in with her. 

“I guess so,” Kelley shrugs with a smirk. “I don’t remember much,” she says and then looks at Alex. “We didn’t have sex did we?” She asks with wide eyes. 

Alex rolls her eyes and shoves Kelley. “No,” she says with an annoyed sigh. “You just wanted to cuddle and refused to go back to your own bed,” she informs her with a smile, even though she’s still trying to look annoyed. 

Kelley just laughs in response, clearly amused with her drunk self. “Damn, I was hoping I got lucky,” she says, wiggling her brows, making Alex shove her again. 

“I have a boyfriend,” she reminds her. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Kelley sighs, and then sits up in the bed. “Pretty Pressi, how was your night?” She questions, looking at the girl, still just sitting at her desk. 

Christen bites her lip and just shrugs. It had been great up until the end. “It was fine,” she decides to say simply. “We just watched a movie and then I came to bed,” she tells them. 

“Lame,” Kelley frowns. “I can’t believe Tobin didn’t come out with us!” She whines. “She’s always my wingman.” She says, making Christen frown. She knows that Tobin still probably sleeps with other girls, but she really doesn’t like to hear about it. Especially now, when her feelings are growing. But she knows she is going to have to get over that. “Maybe, I could have actually gotten lucky,” she smirks. 

Alex just laughs at her. “Please, not even Tobin can help you,” Alex replies teasingly. 

Kelley gasps, feigning offense. “Hey, I got into your bed, didn’t I?” She asks proudly. 

“Whatever, I just agreed so you’d go to bed and leave me alone,” she tells her. 

“Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself,” Kelley replies with a wink. “Pressi, go get Toby and let’s all go out for breakfast. I need some pancakes,” Kelley tells her. 

Christen just frowns, and furrows her brows not really sure why she’s the one being nominated to go and get Tobin. “I already ate,” she says. And it’s not a full lie. She’d grabbed a protein bar and some fruit from the cafe when she got her coffee with Ali and Julie. Maybe it’s not a full meal but it’s enough for now. Plus, she doesn’t really feel like hanging out with Tobin right now. She still feels a bit weird about everything and pretty anxious. She kind of just wants to be alone for the day. 

“Boo,” Kelley says with a thumbs down. “It’s our last day with these beautiful ladies,” she says, wrapping her arms around Alex, who only mildly grimaces at the contact. 

“I thought that’s what last night was for?” Christen asks. “You are acting like you are never going to see them again,” Christen says with a slight grin.

Alex just raises a brow at her. “You aren’t going to miss me, Press?” 

Christen’s eyes widen and she shakes her head, “Oh, no that’s not what I-

“I’m joking,” Alex tells her, shaking her head with a smile. “But really, I’m down for some breakfast. I’ll go get Tobin and see who else wants to come,” she says, climbing out of her bed. “Go get changed. You smell like tequila,” she says, pulling the blankets off of Kelley. 

Kelley whines and tries pulling the blankets back around her. 

Alex ignores her and grabs some clothes before walking into the bathroom. 

Kelley lays in silence for a few minutes and Christen thinks that maybe she’s fallen back asleep. She just turns back to her planner and goes through it, making sure she has her day properly planned out and that she is not missing anything. 

“Pretty Pressi,” Kelley mumbles a few minutes later. 

Christen turns back to her, slightly amused. “Why do you call me that?” She asks curiously. 

“Because you are pretty,” Kelley shrugs, like it’s obvious.

Christen blushes bright red and looks back down at her planner, “Thanks,” she mumbles softly, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

“Mhmm,” Kelley mumbles into the pillow. 

“Did you need something?” Christen asks, confused as to why Kelley had called out to her. 

Kelley just shrugs and turns onto her back. “I just like saying Pretty Pressi,” she grins, and Christen blushes once again. “I’m going to get ready,” She then says, pulling herself off the bed. “You sure you don’t want to join us? Waffles or whatever you want, on me!” She grins. 

“No, I’m okay.” Christen says, shaking her head. “I’m going to get some studying done,” she replies, knowing that Kelley isn’t going to like that answer. 

“So studious,” Kelley says with a grin. “Fine, stay here and be boring, but I’m not bringing you any pancakes to go,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen just giggles. “I think I’ll survive.” 

“I’m not so sure,” Kelley responds, before leaving the room.

Christen just shakes her head, laughing at the girl’s antics. She turns back to her desk and starts to pull out one of her text books when she hears a knock on their door. She turns her head just as the door opens, revealing Tobin. 

“Hey,” Tobin says, walking into the room. “Where is Alex?” She asks, looking around. 

“Bathroom,” Christen responds simply. 

Tobin just nods and lingers by the door for a few awkward moments. “She text me and told me that we’re going to breakfast,” Tobin feels the need to explain, holding her phone up. “Though, I guess now it’s more of a lunch,” she says with a small laugh, noticing the time.

Christen just nods. “Yeah, Kelley went to change and I think Alex is doing the same,” she says with a small shrug, not really sure what their full plan is.

Tobin nods and slowly walks into the room, sitting on Alex’s bed. “Are you coming with us?” She asks a bit hopefully. 

“No, I’m just going to do some studying. I ate earlier,” she answers, and doesn’t miss the frown on Tobin’s face. 

“Oh, okay. Cool,” she nods, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “I’ll try and eat something healthy, just for you,” she finds herself saying with a grin. “But, I can’t promise you that I won’t eat some waffles or maybe some bacon, oh hash browns sound great.”

Christen can’t help but laugh as Tobin rambles about food, obviously hungry. “Eat whatever you’d like, Tobin,” she says pointedly. She knows that she gets on Tobin sometimes about her eating habits, but she’s never tried to control her or anything. And it’s not like she’s in any position to nag her. It’s not like she’s her girlfriend or anything. 

Girlfriend. 

She definitely needs to stop thinking about being Tobin’s girlfriend. Even in hypothetical situations. That’s never going to happen. That much is obvious. If she hadn’t thought it before, she definitely does now, after seeing how badly Tobin had reacted just at their friends catching them cuddling. 

She gets pulled from her spiraling thoughts as Alex comes out of the bathroom, freshly showered and changed. 

“Finally,” Tobin sighs. Christen can’t help but think she’s grateful to not be alone in the room with her any longer. She knows that it’s probably all in her head and things between her and Tobin aren’t as bad as she thinks, but she’s not really sure. It’s hard for her to know what she’s conjuring up in her anxiety riddled brain and what is real. 

“Christen, you sure you don’t want to come?” Alex asks, giving her a smile as she grabs her coat. 

Christen just pulls herself out of her thoughts again and looks over at Alex. “No, I’m good. Thank you though,” she replies kindly. 

“See you later,” Alex says, headed for the door. 

Tobin looks back to Christen and offers her a smile. “I’ll see you later?” She asks, with a bit of hopefulness in her voice. 

“Yeah,” Christen just nods, giving her a small smile. 

Tobin smiles back, lingering a bit at the door, before Alex grabs her hand and pulls her down the hallway.

And she doesn’t see Tobin again the rest of the day.

—-

Christen wakes up early the next morning knowing that today was the day that Tobin was going to be leaving. They haven't spoken since the awkward encounter they had yesterday morning and she definitely doesn’t want that to be the last interaction they have before Tobin leaves for a week. 

She’d been pretty anxious yesterday and admittedly was avoiding Tobin. But she’s had some time to process things, spending most of the day alone. And she’s feeling a little better about it all. Maybe not much, but she also finds that she’s missing Tobin. And she knows this will be the last time she sees her for a week.

She goes down to the cafe and buys two coffee’s, making hers the way she likes and leaving Tobin’s just black like she knows Tobin likes. She heads back up to the dorm rooms and knocks softly on Tobin and Ashlyn’s door. She figures that Ashlyn would be awake as well, with Tobin moving around the room getting ready, but she still doesn’t want to pound on it, just in case. 

But she gets no response, so she knocks once again, frowning. It’s only 7 am and she’s pretty sure she hasn’t missed Tobin yet, but she starts to get a bit worried. She was supposed to be leaving by 8.

Trying the door, she finds it unlocked and slowly opens it, just a crack, peeking inside of the room. She’s surprised when she finds both Ashlyn and Tobin still sleeping soundly. 

She’s not really sure if she should walk into the room, considering it’s not hers and the girls are sleeping. But, she’s realized that none of them really have any boundaries on privacy and she’s pretty sure they won’t mind. Plus, she’s worried that maybe Tobin forgot to set her alarm. It wouldn’t be surprising, knowing her. 

She walks into the room as quietly as possible and sits both coffee’s down on Tobin’s nightstand. She leans down in front of her bed and reaches out gently nudging the girl’s shoulder. “Tobin?” She questions softly. “Tobin,” She says a bit louder, though still not loud enough to wake Ashlyn up. 

Tobin finally starts stirring, her brows furrowed in confusion. “What?” She mumbles, burying her face into the pillow. 

Christen can’t stop herself from smiling at how cute the girl looks. She’s seen her when she’s just rolled out of bed, leaving her room, looking all sleepy. But watching her first wake up in the morning is even more adorable. “Tobin, you need to wake up,” Christen tells her gently. 

“What time is it?” Tobin asks, still refusing to open her eyes. 

“A little after 7,” Christen informs her, glancing at the clock. 

Tobin sighs and rolls over onto her back. “Chris?” She asks, just now realizing that it’s been Christen talking to her. She cracks an eye open, looking up at the girl. “What are you doing here?” She asks softly, a sleepy smile appearing on her face. 

Christen smiles back at her and reaches out to brush some hair behind Tobin’s ear. “I brought you some coffee,” she tells her. “I wanted to see you before you leave.” 

Tobin sighs again, still trying to wake up. She opens her eyes and slowly sits up in her bed, looking over at Christen and blinking a few times. “It’s too early,” she says with a pout. 

Christen just shakes her head with a smile. “Tobin you have to leave in less than an hour,” she reminds her. 

Tobin just shrugs, still not too worried at the time. Christen now isn’t so convinced that Tobin forgot an alarm. 

“You should probably get up and get ready to go,” Christen then tells her. 

Tobin shrugs again, leaning back against her headboard. “I normally just kind of roll out of bed and go,” she replies and it’s such a Tobin answer. Christen couldn’t imagine doing that. She has to wake up a few hours before she goes somewhere to get ready and make sure she has everything that she needs. Just the thought of just rolling out of bed and rushing to be somewhere, stresses her out. 

“I can let you go back to sleep if you want,” Christen says, not wanting to force her up. “I’m sorry, I woke you. I thought you’d be up already,” she says with a frown. 

Tobin rubs at her eyes, shaking her head. She gives Christen another smile, “No, it’s okay,” she says honestly. “I’m glad you’re here,” she says sincerely. “Now, what is this, I hear about coffee?” She asks, starting to wake up a bit, but she still needs some coffee. 

Christen giggles in return and grabs the black coffee off of the nightstand and hands it over to Tobin. 

Tobin scoots over on the bed and pats the spot next to her, motioning for Christen to sit with her. 

Christen grabs her own coffee and happily crawls on the bed, settling next to Tobin just as she had the night they all watched the movie together. 

Tobin takes a long swig of it, sighing happily. “Thank you,” she says, smiling at Christen again. “I really am glad you’re here,” she says again. “I was worried you were mad or upset with me,” she frowns. 

Christen just shakes her head. “I’m not. We’re okay, Tobin,” she assures her with a smile. Maybe she’s still a little confused about it all, but honestly she just wants to get back to how they were. It had only been a day of awkwardness and them not really spending time together and Christen had already missed her badly. 

Tobin just grins back, her body relaxing as she enjoys her coffee, and Christen’s presence. She really was worried that she had ruined everything.

“You have everything you need, ready?” Christen asks, hoping that Tobin was at least a bit prepared. 

Tobin just nods and points to a suitcase in the corner of the room. It was still lying open but at least had some clothes in it. Though, they are all just stuffed in it and not folded properly. Just the sight gives Christen anxiety. She almost wants to go over and repack it for Tobin, but she restrains herself. 

“Thankfully, someone else keeps track of my boots and everything I’ll need for the games,” Tobin informs her. “I just have to bring things to wear when we aren’t training or playing.” 

“Okay,” Christen says relieved. She wouldn’t put it past Tobin to forget her jersey or something she will actually need for the game. “They have someone just picking you guys up here and taking you to the airport, right?” 

“Well, Servando is dropping us off,” she replies, speaking of Alex’s boyfriend. “They’re going to be here at 8. The flight isn’t until 1, but Alex gets really stressed out and always makes us get there super early,” she explains. 

Christen nods her head, thankful that at least one of them will be prepared and can make sure Tobin gets on the right flight. Though, she knows that she shouldn’t be too worried. Tobin has traveled all over with the national team and she’s clearly managed up to this point. She’s an adult and maybe her carefree attitude worries Christen a bit, but she knows she can actually take care of herself. 

“I have something for you,” Christen says after a moment of silence, the two of them just sipping on their coffee. 

Tobin looks over at her curiously. “What is it?” She asks, getting a bit excited. 

Christen laughs at her excitement and then pulls something out of her hoodie pocket. She’d been holding onto it for a few days now, feeling a bit shy to give it to Tobin. But she decides it’s now or never.

“Your mala beads?” Tobin asks, furrowing her brows and taking the beads out of Christen’s hands. “I can’t take these,” she tells her, trying to give them back. 

Christen smiles at her and shakes her head, pushing Tobin’s hand away. “No, I had Channing make some more,” she says, suddenly feeling a bit shy. 

Was this too much? Maybe, Tobin would think it was weird that she’d asked her sister to make her some. They barely even know each other. 

“They’re yours,'' she says quietly, feeling more embarrassed by the second. This was definitely too much. “I mean, you said a few weeks ago that you needed some, and you definitely don’t need them, but I thought....I don’t know...If you don’t like them then that is totally okay.” she starts to ramble, swallowing hard. “You don’t have to wear them-

“Chris, I love them,” Tobin interrupts before Christen can spiral anymore. She grins at her, the widest smile that Christen has seen, as she puts them over her head. “Thank you. Seriously, this means a lot,” she says sincerely. “Now, we definitely won’t lose,” she winks.

Christen lets out a relieved breath and smiles bashfully, “You’re welcome.” 

“Do you want to walk me downstairs? I’m going to change really quickly and then start heading down.” 

Christen nods happily. “Of course.”

—-

It’s only 3 days later and Christen already misses Tobin like crazy, which she knows is weird. They honestly didn’t hang out much besides practice and a few group hangouts to get coffee or dinner. But she misses seeing a sleepy Tobin at the elevators in the morning, or hearing her whistling echoing through the hallways in the afternoon when she was coming back to her room. She misses everything about her. 

Thankfully, Tobin texts her some while she’s gone, but she knows that the girl is busy. Plus, Tobin had never really been much of a texter. But Christen will take what she can get. 

And even though they didn’t see each other a whole lot during the weekdays, just the thought of Tobin not being across the hallway is unsettling. 

Most of the teammates all agree to get together in the movie room they have in the student union building to watch the first friendly match together. And Christen had happily agreed. She’s always enjoyed watching the games, but now she’s even more excited to watch them. It’s a lot different when you know a few people on the team. 

And she can’t wait to see Tobin’s face, even just for a few minutes on the television. 

She’s sitting on one of the couches with Ashlyn and Ali next to her, Kelley is sitting on the ground, leaning against Christen’s legs. And normally she’d feel a little uncomfortable being this close to so many people, but she finds that she doesn’t mind. She’s starting to feel more and more comfortable around these girls. Plus, she’s just so excited that she can’t even really think about it. 

“Stop hogging all of the chips,” Kelley complains, snatching a bag of salt and vinegar baked lays out of Ashlyn’s hands. Ashlyn just lets Kelley grab a few before she snatches the bag back, much to Kelley’s dismay. 

“Are these your beads?” Julie asks, looking up from her phone and over to Christen. She shows her a short video that the official uswnt instagram had just posted. It was the girls walking off the bus and into the stadium, all looking fierce and ready to go. 

Tobin was wearing the beads that Christen had given her and she feels herself grinning. “No, I had my sister make her some of her own,” she shrugs. 

The girls all look at her with raised brows and it makes Christen feel a bit uncomfortable. 

“She liked mine and said she needed some,” she starts to explain, feeling a little embarrassed. “My sister loves to make them. It wasn’t really a big deal,” she shrugs. 

“That was really sweet,” Ali smiles, before any of the others can say anything. 

Christen just gives them all a small smile and sinks into the couch, feeling bashful. She hadn’t really thought about it when she’d asked Channing to make them. She’d just been excited to do something nice for Tobin and she’d been excited that Tobin had seemed interested in something that she cares about so much. She really didn’t think about how it may look to other people. She also didn’t think about Tobin wearing them and it getting posted to a site that millions would see. But it also makes her feel really good.

Thankfully the game starts up just a couple of minutes later, and they all turn their attention to the TV, leaving Christen alone. They all become too focused to really care about much else at the moment. 

Tobin ends up getting two assists and she almost scores a goal, but it gets called offsides. Christen thinks the ref is an idiot and apparently all of the other girls agree, because they’re all yelling at the TV. Kelley even throws a few chips at the screen as if it will do something. 

Christen just laughs at her, enjoying watching the game with them. She’d always just watched them alone or with her family and sure, they’d get a little rowdy sometimes, but watching it with her teammates was a whole other experience. They were just so into it and so vocal about everything. It was exhilarating and it made it even more enjoyable. 

Alex and Pinoe end up getting a goal of their own, Alex’s being one of the goals assisted by Tobin. The girls are cheering for all of the team, but they of course cheer a bit louder for their own teammates. 

When the game ends, they show a shot of Tobin and Alex hugging on the field and a bunch of the other girls jumping on them in a group celebration. Christen has never felt more proud. She just smiles widely and wants to pause the TV and just stare at Tobin’s excited grin all day. 

She’s pretty sure just keeping a screenshot of that smile will hold her over the next few days that Tobin is gone.

—-

A couple of days later they end up winning their own game. It had been a lot closer than the other games they’ve played so far this season. They were definitely missing the three girls that were currently away and it showed. But they pulled it out thankfully. Christen had even gotten to play almost an entire half, scoring a goal only minutes after being subbed in. 

Kelley had jumped onto her back in celebration and it made Christen grin widely. She was happy and proud of herself, but she couldn’t deny that she missed being able to celebrate with Tobin. Playing without her just made things feel off. 

Surprisingly, they end up talking Christen into hanging out with them after the game though. She’s still a bit uneasy about it and she hates to admit that it’s even harder knowing that Tobin isn’t there with her. Tobin had become a comforting presence for her and made her feel at ease in situations like these. 

But, she’s still trying to branch out and do things outside of her comfort zone. She also knows that she doesn’t need to be so dependent on one person. She’d always been like that with her family and now it seems like she’s starting to have that with Tobin. She wants to be able to go out with the girls and just have a good time, whether Tobin is there or not. Though, she definitely prefers when Tobin is there.

Plus, it’s a good distraction from her just sitting in her room thinking about how much she misses Tobin. 

Tobin had been one of the few that was able to pull her out of her room and do things. And since she’d been gone, Christen has been pretty much hulled up in her dorm, other than practice and class. She’s used to just hanging out most nights on her own, but she finds herself itching to get out and have some fun. Maybe it’s because she’d been doing it some and she had gotten a taste of what it felt like to have friends and go out. She’s realizing that she kind of enjoys it. Which is surprising, because she never really thought she needed friends. But maybe it was just because she’d never really had them.

They go out to the same bar that the girls had started frequenting. Christen has only been the two times, but it’s getting easier each time. Though, it’s a lot more crowded tonight than it had been the last couple of times. Thankfully, they find a booth in the back corner, and Christen scoots in, sitting next to Julie, Ashlyn, Ali and Allie across from them. Kelley, Emily, Lindsey and Mal of course make their way to the dance floor as soon as they walk in. 

Kelley had tried to get Christen to join them, but she was definitely not comfortable enough for that yet. 

“Great goal tonight, Pressi. You are definitely proving yourself well with the minutes you are being given,” Ashlyn tells her, holding out her beer bottle to cheer her, before she takes a sip. “Pinoe may not have a spot when she gets back,” Ashlyn winks.

Christen blushes at the praise and just takes a sip of her club soda. “Thank you,” she says softly, but she knows they are just joking. Megan is obviously better than she is and she’s just a freshman so the older girl has nothing to worry about. “You guys all did great as well. Pretty sure we would have lost if it wasn’t for a couple of your saves.” She says honestly. There had been a lot of close calls, unfortunately. 

“Tonight was definitely not our best game,” Julie frowns. 

“We’re missing a part of our family,” Ali says with a sigh. “Everyone felt it,” she adds. “But we all still did really well, and we still won!’’ She says, smiling. “Who needs those national teamers,” she jokes. 

“Undefeated,” Ashlyn says, holding up her beer again. 

Everyone else cheer’s with her and they sit back, feeling proud of themselves. They were down their 3 best players tonight against a team that was really good, and they still won. It was definitely a night worth celebrating. 

A few minutes later a server comes by the table with a drink and hands it over to Christen. She looks down at it with a frown and then back up at the server. “What is this?” She questions confused. 

“That guy at the bar,” she says pointing behind her. All the girls turn to see a guy standing at the bar, smiling over at Christen.

Christen blushes and then tries to hand the drink back. “Oh um... I don’t want it, but tell him thanks anyway,” she says, feeling anxious. For one, she doesn’t want to drink any alcohol and two, she is definitely not interested in the guy who is still staring over at her. 

“Pressi! He’s cute!” Allie says with a wide grin. 

The other girls who had been dancing are now walking over, wondering what all the commotion had been about. They’re now all grinning widely at Christen and trying to encourage her to accept the drink. 

“I don’t drink,” she frowns. 

“You should still go and talk to him,” Mal encourages her with a smile, glancing back over at the cute guy at the bar. “He’s hot,” she says with a smirk, looking back at Christen. 

“He told me he wouldn’t take no for an answer,” the server says with a smile, giving Christen a wink, obviously thinking that was an okay thing to say. But Christen just frowns deeper.

“I’m not interested,” Christen replies quietly, looking down at her feet, starting to feel more uncomfortable by the second. 

“She doesn’t want it,” Ashlyn tells the server, taking the drink from Christen and handing it back to the woman, giving her a warning look, and making her walk away. She then looks over at the guy who seems to be walking their way. She gives him a good glare as well. He smiles for a moment longer and keeps walking. But then realizes how angry Ashlyn looks and quickly turns away from the group, walking back to the bar with his tail tucked between his legs, realizing that he didn’t have a chance.

“Poor guy,” Kelley smirks, sitting down next to Christen. 

Ali gives Ashlyn a grateful smile, feeling proud of her girlfriend standing up for Christen. They may not know Christen well, but they both feel a bit protective of her. Christen is just always so sweet and shy, they just worry about her sometimes and don’t want anyone hurting her or taking advantage of her. 

Ali scoots a bit closer to Christen, “You okay?” She asks softly, placing a comforting hand on Christen’s knee. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods, giving Ali a soft smile. “Thanks,” she says quietly, still feeling a bit embarrassed and anxious over the whole situation. She’s just thankful that Ashlyn had picked up on how uncomfortable she was and had put an end to everyone pressuring her to talk to him. 

“I’m going to dance again,” Kelley says standing back up. “Come on, Pressi!” She says, trying to grab Christen’s hand. 

Christen frowns and shakes her head. She definitely doesn’t want to get up and dance now, not that she had wanted to in the first place. 

“I’m going to get you to dance with me one day,” she says confidently, but leaves her alone. She just heads back to the dance floor, most of the girls following behind her, except for Ashlyn and Ali. 

“Dude looks like a creep,” Ashlyn mumbles, still eyeing the guy across the room. He’s looking back over at Christen, but quickly looks away again when he notices Ashlyn glaring at him again.

Ali smirks and gives Christen’s leg a squeeze when she sees the girl smile at her girlfriend’s comment. Honestly, Christen feels so loved for how protective the two girls seem to be over her. She’s never really had anyone back her up like this.

“Do you want to leave?” Ali asks, just trying to make sure that Christen is okay. 

Christen chews on her lip and almost says yes, because she kind of does. She’s just feeling really anxious now and not really in the mood to be around a bunch of people. But, they haven’t been here long and she knows the other girls want to celebrate. She doesn’t want to ruin it for them by making them take her back to the room. Because she also knows that they’d never let her walk back alone. 

“No, I’m okay,” Christen ends up saying. She knows if she just sits back with them and relaxes, she’ll probably calm down. If not, she’ll just tell them she wants to leave later. She’s going to try and stick it out though. 

“Okay,” Ali nods, still not convinced. She can see how tense Christen looks and she just wants her to be comfortable. “Hey you know what we should do?” She asks with a smile. Ashlyn and Christen both look at her curiously and Ashlyn looks a bit worried, which makes Christen giggle. “We should FaceTime Tobs. She’s probably just hanging out in the hotel room, bored,” she says with a shrug. Truthfully, she just has a feeling that talking to Tobin will make Christen feel better. She still hasn’t said anything to either of them about whatever it is that is going on with them, but she’s not blind to it.

Neither is Ashlyn, though she hasn’t been quite as subtle about it.

“True that. She needs to congratulate us,” Ashlyn says with a smirk. 

Christen just grins at the idea. She doesn’t want to bother Tobin, but she’s definitely not going to protest. She misses her and she really wants to talk to her, especially right now.

Ali takes it as a yes, and she pulls her phone out, calling the girl. 

“Yo,” Tobin answers after only a few rings. And she looks like she is laying in her hotel room bed, just like Ali had said. 

“Hey!” Ali greets cheerfully. 

Ashlyn clears her throat and grabs the phone out of Ali’s hand. “Um I’m waiting on my congratulations,” she says, narrowing her eyes at Tobin. 

Tobin just laughs and grins widely at them. “Congrats guys,” she says proudly. “Seriously, I watched part of it on my phone. You guys were amazing.” 

“I don’t know about amazing, but we did alright,” Ali says with a smirk. “Nothing like you guys! Congrats to you as well!” She says with a proud smile of her own. She pulls the phone out a little so that all three of them are on the screen and Tobin can see them. 

Tobin’s eyes automatically find Christen, a smile on her face. But her smile quickly changes into a frown, when she sees her. “What’s wrong?” She asks suddenly concerned. She can see even through the phone that Christen seems upset. She sits up on the bed, waiting anxiously for someone to answer her. 

“I’m okay,” Christen says, giving her a small smile. She’s half just trying to convince Tobin that she is okay, but she’s also partly smiling at the fact that Tobin seems so concerned for her. 

Tobin doesn’t look convinced and just glances over at Ashlyn and Ali. 

“Some creep tried to buy Christen a drink,” Ashlyn answers and both Christen and Ali frown at her, for telling Tobin. They both just don’t want her getting worked up for no reason, because they have a feeling that she will. “What?” Ashlyn asks, clearly not getting why it was a big deal to tell her. She also knows that Tobin would want to know. “Don’t worry, I took care of it,” Ashlyn tells her with a proud smile. “He won’t bother her again.”

Tobin chews on her bottom lip, a frown on her face and she looks back over at Christen. “You okay?” She asks her softly, knowing that there isn’t much she can do, being halfway across the country. 

“Yes, Tobin,” Christen says with a small eye roll, thinking that the girls are being a bit dramatic. But she has also never felt more cared for. “It really wasn’t that big of a deal,” she mumbles, though she knows that she had actually been pretty upset over it. It’s not like he had come up to her or touched her or anything. She just still felt pretty anxious over it all. And especially by all the pressure of the girls trying to get her to go and talk to him. 

“You should have punched him,” Tobin mumbles, looking back over at Ashlyn, who grins. 

“Don’t worry, anyone lays a hand on her and I won’t hesitate,” Ashlyn responds, seriously. 

It makes Tobin feel good to know that her friends are looking out for Christen when she can’t be there for her. She’s honestly surprised that they had managed to get Christen out of the room and at a bar with them. But she also feels a bit proud that she seems to be doing okay, given the circumstances. “Good,” Tobin nods, satisfied. 

Ali can’t help but grin at her girlfriend and Tobin’s protective nature. They may be a bit dramatic, but she knows it’s just because they care so much. 

“Seriously, he just tried to buy me a drink. He didn’t really do anything wrong,” Christen says, feeling like they were being a little harsh on the guy. Sure it had made her uncomfortable, but he had no way of really knowing any of that. It probably would have worked on another girl. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Tobin answers instantly. 

Christen feels so overwhelmed with emotion that she can’t help herself, “I miss you,” she blurts out and then blushes. She turns beat red and just wants to disappear into the booth. She’s also a little afraid that Tobin was going to be upset with her for saying something like that with Ashlyn and Ali right next to her. Especially because of the way she’d reacted last week. 

But, Tobin doesn’t seem bothered, if anything it’s the opposite, “I miss you too,” Tobin responds softly with a warm smile. 

Ali bites her lip, trying to contain her grin. She knows better than to make any comments to the two of them, but really she is about to burst at the seams with happiness. She’s never seen Tobin this way with anyone and she’s a little nervous that it’s not going to end well for Christen, but they’re adorable and a part of her is rooting for them. 

“Will you call me when you get back to the room?” Tobin asks her a bit hopefully.

Christen bites her lip, and nods. “Yeah,” she says with a shy smile.

Ali puts the phone back on herself, having had it held just in front of Christen for their little moment. “We love you, Tobs,” she says with a fond smile. 

“Love you guys,” Tobin responds before ending the call. 

Ali puts her phone away and then looks over at Christen who is still smiling. She’s glad to see it because this is what she was hoping for when she made the suggestion to call Tobin in the first place. She’s glad that it worked. “Do you want to head back to the dorms?” Ali asks, trying to act casual, but there is a knowing tone to her voice. 

Christen clears her throat and just shrugs, trying to act casual. “We can go whenever you guys are ready. I’m okay,” she tells them. She really does just want to go back to the room and call Tobin, but she doesn’t want to seem too desperate or obvious. 

“I’m getting pretty tired,” Ali comments and then looks over at Ashlyn. 

“I’m not,” Ashlyn frowns and then winces when Ali elbows her.

“Come on, we only have your room to ourselves for a few more days,” she says, wiggling her brows at her girlfriend. She’s happy to go and spend some alone time with her girlfriend, but she’s also doing it for Christen’s sake. 

“Let’s go then,” Ashlyn responds instantly, practically jumping off the couch. 

Christen just giggles at the excited girl and makes no protests to leaving. She’s honestly never walked quicker in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! But really, I am not super happy with this chapter so some feedback would be awesome! Maybe it's in my head, I'm not sure! 
> 
> As always, find me on tumblr! Feel free to ask me questions or even give me some ideas or things you guys would like to see! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! i'm going to go and reply to some of the comments that had questions and things in them as soon as I post this! Thank you to everyone who commented! I'm for some reason not liking the last couple of chapters so the nice comments are always very very encouraging! Thank you again!   
> I was almost ready to give up on it to be honest and then I got so many nice messages! 
> 
> Just a warning for this chapter, it is the start of some angst... 
> 
> Enjoy..

Christen sits at her desk, waiting anxiously, her knee bouncing up and down. She’s attempting to get some studying done but she can’t find herself being able to focus on anything in her text book. She just keeps glancing down at the road outside of her window. 

Today is the day that Tobin is coming home and Christen couldn’t be more excited. She’d missed her way more than she had planned on missing her. It was a weird feeling for her, because she’s never felt this way for anyone before. She’s never been so close to someone that she’d missed them after just a few days of not seeing them. She’s not sure how she feels about being so dependent on someone like this, other than her family. But she also doesn’t know how to stop the feelings. Or if she really wants to stop the feelings. As scary as it is, it’s kind of nice to have this closeness with someone for once in her life.

And now she practically feels herself vibrating with excitement just waiting to see Tobin again. They’d texted fairly often and they’d talked on the phone a couple of times after the whole ordeal in the bar, but it was nothing like actually being with Tobin in person.

She finally sees Servando’s car pull up on the curb out front and she grins widely, standing up from her seat to get a better view. She watches happily as Tobin casually climbs out of the car, a SnapBack on her head and sunglasses on her face, looking just as cool as Christen remembers her. She watches as Tobin goes around back to grab her suitcase as the others do the same and says her goodbyes to Servando. 

Christen almost wants to run outside and greet her, but she restrains herself. She doesn’t want to just bombard Tobin like that and she also doesn’t want to seem creepy or like she’s been watching and waiting for her. 

Even though she has been. But, not all day or anything. Tobin had texted her when they left the airport so she knew about what time to expect her.

She sees Tobin entering the building and she sits back down in her chair, her leg impatiently bouncing again, just waiting on Tobin to get up to their floor. She’s not really sure if she should go and talk to her now or just wait for Tobin to come to her. She’s sure that Tobin is exhausted and maybe she just wants to be alone and get some rest. 

However, when she hears the familiar sound of Tobin’s whistling in the hallway, she just about jumps out of her chair, making the decision without even thinking about it. She walks over to the door and shyly pokes her head out into the hallway, still not wanting to seem too eager. 

Tobin has a frown on her face and she looks completely exhausted as she’s basically dragging herself down the hallway. It almost makes Christen turn back and just leave her alone for now. However, when Tobin sees her, her entire face lights up and she gives Christen a wide grin. She practically runs the rest of the way down the hall, making Christen giggle and step fully out of her room. 

When she reaches Christen she pulls her into a big hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Christen’s waist and buries her face into the girl’s neck. 

Christen grins just as widely, wrapping her arms around Tobin tightly, holding her close. And just like that, she feels whole again. She’d just felt off in a way that she couldn’t describe the entire week that Tobin had been gone. And now everything feels right again. Like she can fully breathe.

“I missed you,” Tobin mumbles against Christen’s skin.

Christen just grins even wider at her words, squeezing her eyes closed tightly, savoring the moment. “I missed you too,” she says softly, still holding Tobin close to her. 

“Can anyone else get a hug around here?” They hear Pinoe’s voice, making them break apart. 

They both blush and smile shyly at each other as they pull apart and look over at Megan. Megan just grins widely at the two of them, not missing their embarrassed faces. 

“It’s like Tobin was the only one that was gone,” Alex says, from her place next to Pinoe, giving Christen a smirk. Ashlyn, Ali and a few of the other girls are all walking out of their dorms now, hearing the others returning. 

Everyone greets the three girls, excited to have them back and also congratulating them on both of their wins. Christen gives Pinoe and Alex a short and slightly awkward hug. She’s not as close to them as she is Tobin and they’ve never really had much physical contact outside of group hugs during games, but after her greeting with Tobin, she feels a bit obligated to give them hugs as well. Plus, even though they weren’t super close, she is grateful to see them again as well.

Her eyes never leave Tobin though, as she hugs some of the other girls as well. Tobin is still smiling widely and she looks so happy to see everyone. But, Christen can’t help but notice that none of their hugs seem as long or as intimate as the one between her and Tobin. It makes her feel a little giddy. Like her and Tobin have something different. 

And she knows they do. She may not be too experienced with friends and especially not with dating, but she knows that something is there. She’s just not exactly sure if anything will happen with it or what to do with that information. She’s not really sure if Tobin has realized it either.

As soon as all the greetings are over with Tobin finds Christen’s side again, giving her a smile.

“We have to go do something tonight!” Kelley says with excitement. And Christen definitely wasn’t surprised by the suggestion. She had figured they would all want to go out and do something when the girls returned. She’d kind of been preparing herself for it. It’s still not her favorite thing to do, but she missed Tobin and she really wants to hang out with her. If that means going to the crowded bar then she will do it. 

“I’m down, but I’m exhausted. I need a shower and a nap,” Alex says with a heavy sigh. 

“Me too,” Pinoe agrees. 

“Let’s all meet up around 9?” Allie asks and everyone nods in agreement before starting to go their own way. 

After a couple of minutes it’s just Tobin and Christen left in the hallway, the two smiling a bit shyly at each other, clearly not wanting to go their separate ways yet. “You look tired too,” Christen tells her softly. 

Tobin lets out a deep sigh, and gives Christen a sleepy smile. “Yeah, I am,” she admits. “I slept a little on the plane, but it was super uncomfortable and there was of course a crying baby on our plane,” she says, rolling her eyes. 

Christen just giggles but gives Tobin a sympathetic smile. “Well go and take a nap. I’ll see you tonight,” Christen tells her. 

“You’re going to come out with us?” Tobin says with excitement but also a little bit of surprise. She knows that Christen doesn’t really like going out and after hearing about her experience the last time she wasn’t so sure Christen would be up for it. Though she will definitely make sure nothing like that happens to her again tonight.

“Yeah,” Christen says with a nod. “I missed you, I want to hang out with you,” she admits with a smile. 

Tobin just beams at her and puts her arm around Christen. “I’m glad. I really missed you too,” she says again. She pulls Christen into another hug, just holding her close for a few moments, enjoying being with her again.

Christen finally pulls away from her after a few minutes, giving her another smile. “Okay, go and get some rest,” she tells her, but Tobin frowns, clearly not really wanting to leave even though she is exhausted. “I need to finish up some studying before we go out anyway,” she tells her, hoping it’ll make Tobin feel a little better about going their separate ways.

Tobin lets out a dramatic sigh, making Christen roll her eyes playfully at her. “Okay, fine,” she finally says. “Don’t study too hard,” she says with a grin before grabbing her bags and heading into her dorm room. 

—-

Tobin’s jaw just about drops when she sees Christen walk out of her room dressed in some skinny jeans and a tight black sleeveless shirt that shows a bit of her midsection. She has her normal black boots on that Tobin has seen a few times and her hair is down, her natural curls all over the place. Tobin should really be used to how hot Christen is, but it stuns her every time.

“You always look so good,” Tobin mumbles pulling Christen into a hug. 

Christen blushes as she hugs Tobin back. “Thank you,” she says softly. “You look good too,” she comments on Tobin’s jeans and button up shirt, unbuttoned pretty far down, showing her chest. Her hair is down with no hat on which is a rare sight and Christen thinks she looks beautiful. 

“Are you bringing a jacket?” Tobin asks, knowingly pulling away from Christen. 

“Oh, right,” Christen says, feeling a bit embarrassed. She’d been so excited to get out and see Tobin that she’d forgotten to grab her coat. She slips back into her dorm, grabbing it and then heads back into the hallway where she finds Tobin just smiling, waiting patiently for her. “Thanks,” she mumbles, blushing slightly. 

“Sure,” Tobin says simply. “I mean you can wear mine anytime you want,” she adds with a shrug. “But sometimes I get cold too,” she jokes. 

Christen just smirks at her. “Oh yeah? I thought it was just us Cali girls?” She questions with a grin. 

Tobin grins at her, rolling her eyes playfully. 

“Yo! Let’s go!” Kelley shouts, coming out of her room, banging on all the other girl’s doors, getting them to come out as well. 

Tobin just shakes her head, smiling at Christen. “Come on,” she says, extending her arm out, for Christen to hook hers around. 

Christen grins and walks with Tobin down the hallway, the other girls following behind. 

—-

Christen is sitting in one of the back booths as usual. She didn’t even have to go up to the bar to get her club soda because Tobin had gotten it for her when she got herself a beer. Extra lime and all, which made her smile as Tobin sat down next to her.

And tonight, all the girls are gathered around the tables sitting together. They’d had to push some tables together to fit them all, but they managed to make it work. There isn’t really any dancing tonight because they’ve turned most of it into a small stage where they’re doing karaoke for the night. 

Some of the girls had been disappointed when they saw the dance floor gone, but had been overjoyed to find out they were getting to do karaoke. They all start chattering about what song they were going to sing and who was singing with who. Though most of them had decided that they definitely needed a couple of drinks in them before getting up on stage.

Except Kelley, Emily and Mal who are currently on stage butchering a spice girls song. Christen can’t help but laugh as she watches them dance around on stage having the time of their lives. They’re trying to pull off a dance number as well, but none of them are in sync and it’s just a mess. A hilarious mess though.

All the other girls around the table are singing and dancing along with them and Allie is of course capturing everything on video. Christen even catches Tobin singing along and she finds it amusing that Tobin would know every word to a spice girls song.

The whole group stands up, cheering for their friends as the song ends and the three of them give big dramatic bows on stage before they come down to join them. 

“Who’s next?” Mal asks, looking around the table. 

Everyone just shakes their heads, taking sips of their drinks, avoiding eye contact with the three of them. “You guys are lame!” Emily shouts. “I’m signing up for a solo!” She announces before walking over to the MC. 

“Pretty Pressi, I’m getting you on stage with me,” Kelley says as she practically throws herself into the booth next to Christen, leaning on her.

Christen’s eyes widen and she shakes her head furiously. “No way.” She can’t help but laugh and shove Kelley off of her. 

Kelley pouts at her and sighs dramatically. “Come on,” she whines, giving Christen her best puppy dog eyes, but Christen just shakes her head, clearly not changing her mind. “Toby, you come up there with me,” she says, turning her attention now to Tobin who is on the other side of Christen. 

Tobin smiles at her and considers it for a moment, but shakes her head. “I need more of these,” she says, holding her beer up. 

Kelley grins and stands back up out of the booth. “I can make that happen,” she says before happily skipping off to the bar. 

Christen shakes her head, grinning at their friend before turning her attention over to Tobin. “Are you really going to go up there?” She asks curiously. She knows that Tobin isn’t exactly shy, but karaoke doesn’t really seem like her thing. Though, she still doesn’t know Tobin as well as she would like to. She finds herself still learning things about her every day.

Tobin just shrugs and takes another sip of her beer. “Maybe,” she decides. “If I drink enough,” she adds with a laugh. “She’s gotten me up there before,” she admits.

“Oh how could we forget? It was the best rendition of Madonna's ‘Like a Prayer’ that I have ever heard,” Ashlyn says, laughing. “I have a video, don’t worry,” she says, giving Christen a wink.

Christen chuckles and raises a brow, turning to look at Tobin who just blushes. “I was hammered,” she says, sinking into the booth a bit.

Christen just grins and leans in a little closer to Tobin. “I’ll cheer for you if you go up there,” she tells her happily.

“You’ll be like my groupie?” Tobin asks with a wide grin, making Christen giggle. 

“Number one fan,” Christen confirms with a firm nod. 

Tobin grins back at her. “You already are my number one fan, remember?” She asks teasingly. 

Christen just rolls her eyes and shoves Tobin playfully. “I really am though,” she then says with a smile, but there is a serious note to her tone as she meets Tobin’s eyes. Tobin bites her lips and smiles back at Christen a bit shyly.

“Alright, Tobs, I got you all fixed up,” Kelley says, as she comes back to the table, breaking them from their moment. She sits another beer down in front of Tobin as well as a shot of tequila.

Tobin just laughs and picks up the shot, throwing it back without any issue. 

—-

It only takes another 30 minutes and a few more beers before Ashlyn and Ali decide that it’s their turn. Ali had to be convinced a little, but she is smiling widely and looks happy to be up there singing with her girlfriend. 

They sing Summer Nights from grease and it's sweet and entertaining to watch them perform together, clearly having great chemistry and truly enjoying just being in each other’s company. Though they don’t sound much better than the previous three girls had. Ashlyn is purposely bringing her voice down low as she sings Danny’s parts, which makes them all laugh. 

Ali just smiles sweetly at her as she sings her own parts, doing better than all of them had done so far. But not much.

They get a standing ovation as well when they’re done. Ashlyn takes Ali’s hand, helping her off stage and guiding her back over to the tables. 

“Tobin we’re up,” Kelley shouts with excitement as she hears the MC call their names up.

Tobin’s eyes widen and she just about chokes on her beer. She’s had quite a few now and even another shot, but she still wasn’t expecting it to be this quick. “I didn’t even know you signed us up,” she frowns. 

Kelley just smiles innocently at her. “Yeah well, now you don’t have an option. Let’s go! Don’t keep the people waiting!” She shouts, tugging on Tobin’s hand. 

Tobin downs the rest of the beer and stands up, swaying slightly as she does so. Yeah, she’s definitely starting to feel it. 

Christen holds her hand out to make sure that Tobin wasn’t going to fall and then grins at her. “You’re going to kill it!” She says, giggling. 

Tobin sends her a wink and follows Kelley up onto the stage.

They sing Love on the Brain by Rihanna and Christen is heavily amused by the show. Tobin is swaying slightly as she belts out the lyrics as loud as she can. Kelley is next to her, but she’s honestly just kind of letting Tobin steal the show, knowing the girl wouldn’t have gotten up there on her own. It had been her plan all along.

Tobin sounds absolutely terrible, but she looks so happy as she sings and even dances a little while doing so. She’s definitely not a good dancer either, but Christen can’t take her eyes off of her, a huge grin on her face. 

God, she really missed this goofball. 

Tobin points over to Christen a couple of times during the song with a wink, making Christen blush. Her face turns even redder when she notices Ali giving her a knowing look from across the table and a shit eating grin as she watches the show.

When Tobin finally stumbles off of the stage, she high fives all of the girls who of course give her a standing ovation. Kelley also doesn’t forget to yell into the mic that she just won a tournament for team USA. Some people cheer and others don’t have a clue to what she is talking about. 

Christen just giggles and waits for Tobin to plop back down in the seat next to her. 

“How’d I do?” Tobin asks with a cute grin, scooting as close as she can to Christen.

They hear something about Emily dragging Lindsey on stage with her but they’re too wrapped up in each other to pay attention to karaoke anymore.

“You were the best of the night, for sure,” Christen assures her with a wide grin.

Tobin grins back at her and then lies her head on Christen’s shoulder, scooting even closer to her. “I’m glad that my number one fan liked it,” she says, and even though Christen can’t she her face, she knows that there is a big smirk there.

“You’re drunk,” Christen laughs, laying her head against the top of Tobin’s head. 

Tobin lets out a giggle and wraps her arms around one of Christen’s arms, holding her bicep tightly. “Maybe,” she admits, burying her face into Christen’s neck. “Just a little though,” she adds, her breath tickling Christen’s neck. 

Christen feels her heart start beating a little faster at how close she and Tobin are right now, especially in front of their friends and in a crowded bar. She glances around at the others and sees a few of them giving them curious looks, but nobody really seems too bothered or too caught off guard by the affection. Most of the girls are just as drunk as Tobin is though and are probably not fully processing it. And some of them aren’t even paying them any attention, too excited over karaoke. 

She meets Ali’s eyes though, and the girl raises a brow at her making Christen flush. She looks away from Ali starting to feel a bit of anxiety. She’s pretty sure that the wheels are starting to turn in Ali’s head and she’s starting to catch onto whatever this is between her and Tobin. Or that she’s probably already figured it out by now.

But, Christen really can’t talk to her about it, because she doesn’t even know what to say. She has no idea what this is or what it’s not and she really doesn’t want to be questioned by any of the girls when she doesn’t even have answers herself. She’s hoping that they will just chalk it up to Tobin being drunk. 

Either way, Christen can’t help but enjoy the closeness with Tobin for now. She relaxes and leans back in the booth and Tobin shifts, wrapping her arms around her waist. Christen just holds Tobin’s arm close to her, leaving her head rested against the top of Tobin’s. 

They stay like that for awhile as they watch some of their friends get up on stage as well as some strangers. Christen is surprised that Tobin has stayed still this long. A part of her almost thinks the girl has fallen asleep, but then she will feel her moving slightly or hear her shouting out cheers to their friends on stage.

“Pressi are you sure you don’t want to come and sing with me?” Kelley asks as she sits down on the other side of Christen. She lies her head on Christen’s other shoulder and Christen just smiles. 

“No, Kelley,” she says, trying to sound stern, but she can’t help laugh at the girl who is also cuddling up to her now, wrapping her own arms around Christen. Obviously they both get a little affectionate when they're drinking.

Christen is pretty surprised that she’s not uncomfortable by all of this physical contact. Especially being sandwiched between two people. Normally it would make her feel claustrophobic and anxious But she’s finding that she enjoys their affection. She feels loved and protected.

“Get off of her,” Tobin mumbles, pulling her head off of Christen’s shoulder. She reaches over and pushes Kelley’s arm off of Christen and tries to shove her away as best she can from the other side of her. “She’s mine,” Tobin says with a pout.

Christen’s eyes widen a bit at the statement and she feels her heart rate pick up again. 

She’s hers. 

She knows that she shouldn’t feel this good hearing that. But she does.

“You can’t hog Pretty Pressi,” Kelley argues, putting her arm back around Christen. 

And Christen is just still too shocked by Tobin’s statement to really do much. She’s just frozen as the two argue over her. 

“Go away,” Tobin says with a huff, pushing Kelley off of her again. 

Kelley sighs dramatically but decides it’s not worth it and gets out of the booth. She walks over to Emily and LInsdey, squeezing herself in between them and draping herself onto Emily. 

Tobin smiles smugly and just wraps herself back around Christen. 

Christen just swallows hard and lets herself relax into Tobin’s arms again. She bites down on her lip, trying to contain how happy she’s feeling right now. She looks around at the others, but they don’t seem to be paying them any attention which Christen is happy about. She doesn’t want to have to worry about their curious gazes or questions. She just wants to enjoy this moment.

—-

After another hour, Christen decides that it is getting pretty late and honestly she needs to head back to the room. She’s having a good time with everyone, but she’s starting to feel her eyes get heavy. And she likes to get up early, even on the weekends, keeping up a steady routine. Keeping a regular sleep schedule and getting up in the mornings to do yoga and meditation helps a lot with her anxiety. If she wakes up late or misses doing one of those, it tends to throw her whole day off, which leads to making her pretty anxious. 

“I’m going to head back to the room,” she states, and doesn’t miss how Tobin’s arms wrap tighter around her. It makes her giggle and she pats Tobin’s arm trying to get her to let go. “I’m tired,” she says with a small sigh, a smile on her face though. 

Tobin lets out a huff and picks her head up looking at Christen, her chin resting on her shoulder. “Stay,” she whines, giving Christen some pretty good puppy dog eyes. 

Christen smiles at her but shakes her head. “I’ve got to go,” she insists, moving Tobin’s arms from around her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? We can hang out if you want to,” she suggests, in a hopeful tone. 

“I want to,” Tobin immediately says. 

“Okay,” Christen nods. She stands up, giggling as she fights Tobin’s grabby hands off of her. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow,” she says, addressing the rest of the group. A few of them protest as well, but she holds strong and shakes her head. 

“I’ll go with you,” Julie says, standing up from her seat. “I’m exhausted and I’m meeting Zach for an early workout,” she says, making some of the girl’s immaturely ‘oh’ at her. “An actual workout. In a gym,” she rolls her eyes, a smile on her face. 

“Bye guys,” Christen says with a wave before walking with Julie out of the bar. 

“That was fun,” Julie smiles as soon as they get out of the loud bar and start walking down the sidewalk. 

Christen nods, pulling her jacket tightly around her. It was definitely cold out tonight and she’s glad that Tobin had reminded her to bring it. “Yeah, it was,” she agrees. “The girls are crazy,” she says with a giggle, thinking back to all of their karaoke performances. 

“They are,” Julie agrees with a chuckle. “I always have fun with them,” she says. 

“You did great at karaoke yourself,” Christen smiles at her. Kelley had gotten Julie on stage with her and they did Don’t Stop Believing by Journey which had been hilarious. 

“It was fun,” Julie giggles. “Though, I was missing my real karaoke partner. He loves it.” she says with a small frown, missing her boyfriend. She’d almost invited him to come out with them tonight, but it was really just a girls night and a team bonding night. Nobody else had really brought their boyfriends or any other friends. Plus, she does just enjoy having some girls nights. She hangs out with Zach pretty often. 

“You and Zach are pretty cute,” Christen tells her with a grin. 

“Yeah, we are,” Julie says confidentially and then laughs. “You and Tobin were looking pretty close tonight,” she says casually. 

Christen stops walking for a brief second, not really expecting Julie to bring that up. Though, she’s not surprised. Tobin had been pretty affectionate most of the night and she’s not dumb enough to believe that it had gone unnoticed by her teammates. 

“What’s going on there?” Julie asks curiously. 

“Nothing,” Christen answers a bit too quickly, which makes Julie raise a brow at her. “We’ve become pretty good friends,” she adds. “I think that Tobin just gets kind of cuddly when she’s drunk,” she says with an affectionate smile, just trying to brush off her behavior. She believes that to be true, but she also knows that wasn’t the only reason. Especially considering it was only her that Tobin had been so affectionate with. She’d given everyone hugs and was a little more touchy than she normally is, but it was nowhere near how she was with Christen. 

Julie just hums in response. She doesn’t really believe that, but she’s not going to push anything. Especially since she doesn’t know Christen very well and the girl was obviously pretty reserved. She doesn’t want to stir anything up or get her upset. “Tobin’s hot,” she ends up saying, nudging Christen with a wink. 

Christen blushes a deep shade of red and looks down at her feet as they keep walking. “Yeah,” she says, figuring there was no use in trying to deny that fact. It wasn’t like everyone couldn’t see that Tobin is hot. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t get pushed any further and the rest of the walk up to their dorm rooms is just spent talking about soccer and some opinions on game tactics for their upcoming match. 

She gives Julie a quick hug and the two of them agree they should make an effort to hang out more. Which Christen is definitely down for. Julie seems sweet and she’s definitely not nearly as crazy as some of the other girls. She could see herself becoming pretty good friends with the blonde. 

—-

Back at the bar, Tobin is slumped back in her seat, already missing Christen’s closeness and how warm her body felt up against her. She just sips on her beer watching as Pinoe sings a song, she’s not really familiar with. She kills it though and Tobin can’t help but laugh as she watches her. None of them had proven to be very good singers, but they were all having a blast.

“So Harry, are you going to tell us what is going on with you and Press?” Allie asks, her brow raised at her friend. 

Tobin looks confused and she just shakes her head. “Nothing,” she informs them. 

Most of the girls roll their eyes at her, because it obviously wasn’t nothing. “You were cuddling with her almost the entire night,” Alex points out. She’d been picking up on some things between her friend and her roommate for awhile now, she just hadn’t wanted to bring it up. She’s not exactly close with Christen and she knows better than to bring it up with Tobin, knowing she’d probably just get mad and overreact. But it’s getting harder to ignore. 

Tobin just shrugs, taking a sip of her beer and trying to hide how uncomfortable she is getting all of a sudden. She knows that she probably shouldn’t have been all over Christen like that, but the alcohol coursing through her veins made her throw reason out the window and she didn’t really care. She’d just been thinking about being close to Christen and not the prying eyes around her. 

Which was her first mistake, but definitely not her only one of the night. 

“I’m affectionate with everyone when I’ve been drinking,” she tries to brush off. 

“Sure, but not nearly as much as you were with her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you act like that. You were all over her. You wouldn’t leave her side for a second,” Pinoe points out. “You don’t even do that with the girls you are trying to sleep with.”

Tobin huffs and takes another swig of beer, starting to get annoyed and a little angry with her friends. Or maybe at herself, but she’s just going to say it’s at her friends. It’s easier to blame them. “There isn’t anything going on.” Tobin insists. “I mean, she’s hot as hell, sure,” she says with a shrug. “Would I sleep with her? Hell yes,” she then adds with a smirk. 

Ali just scoffs and rolls her eyes at the girl. “Tobin,” she says in a disapproving tone. 

“But,” Tobin says loudly, giving Ali a glare. “I’m not going to,” she says, sending Ali a pointed look. “I think it’s safe to say that Christen isn’t a one night stand kind of girl,” she says with a small shrug. “And we all know that I’m not a relationship type,” she then adds, before finishing off her beer. 

Ali and even Ashlyn are still looking at Tobin a bit disapprovingly, and Tobin admittedly feels a little bad. She knows she’s kind of being a jerk. She just can’t help it. She doesn’t like being put in a corner like this. 

“Tobin, I love you but I swear to god if you hurt her-

“I’m not going to hurt her,” Tobin cuts Ashlyn off before she can finish. Honestly, she’s a bit surprised at how protective Ashlyn seems to be of Christen, but she gets it. “Christen is...” she says, but then sighs not really knowing what to say. “Christen is just so good and so nice and...” she says, her brows furrowing as she trails off again. “She definitely deserves better than me anyway,” she finishes. “But, I would never hurt her,” she says, a little offended that they would think so. The last thing she wants is for anyone to hurt Christen, especially herself. 

“We know you wouldn't do it on purpose,” Ali says, her tone a lot softer now. “But, I think she does like you so you need to be careful,” Ali informs her, her voice still gentle, but with a firmness to it. 

Tobin just scoffs at that. “She wouldn’t like someone like me,” she says, confused. Christen is way too good for her. Or so she believes. And maybe she has started to realize that there are some sort of feelings there for Christen, but there is no way that Christen would feel that for her as well. 

“She definitely likes you,” Alex tells her knowingly, but Tobin still doesn’t believe her. “I live with her. I see what she’s like normally and then I see what she is like when she’s with you. She’s always so quiet and tense when you aren’t around. But then you come in and it’s like she just completely relaxes and she looks so happy.” Alex says, making Tobin blush slightly. She’s happy to hear that she brings Christen happiness, though she still doesn’t want to acknowledge these feelings.

She clears her throat, trying to will the blush away, not wanting her friends to see it. “Guys drop this, please. Nothing is happening between me and Press and nothing is going to happen,” she says firmly. “Besides, you guys don’t even know if she likes girls,” Tobin shrugs, though even she isn’t that stupid. Her and Christen haven’t exactly talked about her sexuality, but Tobin has noticed the tension between them. And she has noticed Christen checking her out a couple of times. She never really thought more about it than her being attracted to her though. Girls check her out all the time. It doesn’t mean they want a relationship with her or that they’re in love with her or something. 

“Tobin!” Kelley yells, running up to the table from where she was at the bar with Mal and Emily. “I need your help,” she says frantically. 

Tobin looks up at her, thankful for the distraction. She was starting to get angry with her friends and honestly she just wants to relax and have a good night tonight. It had been such a good night up until now. “What’s up, Kelley?” 

Kelley stands behind Tobin and puts her hands on the girl’s shoulders. “There are these super hot girls over there and I need you to come with me to talk to them,” she informs her. “They’ve been staring at you all night and I need my wingman,” she says, shaking Tobin slightly. 

Tobin looks up at said girls and sees them smiling over at the two of them. She bites down on her lip, debating on if she wants to or not. She hadn’t really planned on hooking up with anyone tonight, or really even thought about it at all. But now she kind of wants to, especially after the conversation she’d just had with her friends.

She glances back over at her other friends and smirks, “Duty calls,” she says, getting up to walk over to the girls with Kelley. She doesn’t miss the disapproving looks from her friends. But she doesn’t care. Or at least she tells herself that she doesn’t. 

She’s more worried about proving her point. 

Nothing is happening between her and Christen. Nor does she want it to. 

And maybe she’s also trying to prove that to herself as well.

—-

Christen wakes up hearing noises from outside her door. She glances over at the clock and realizes it’s just after 2 a.m and she has just barely gotten to sleep. She sits up and looks over at Alex’s bed, noticing that the girl still hasn’t come home. Not that she’s sure she even will come home. She will probably stay with Servando since she hadn’t seen him in a week. 

She gets up and heads for the door to see what the sound is. She’s thinking that it could be Tobin and when she left her at the bar she’d been pretty drunk. She just wants to make sure she manages to get home and inside her dorm safely. She’s pretty sure that Ali who hadn’t been drinking either will make sure she gets in safely but she wants to see for herself. 

When she opens the door, she pokes her head out and sees Tobin, confirming her suspicions. But she’s not alone. There is some random girl that Christen has never seen with her. And she’s kissing Tobin’s neck as Tobin fumbles with her keys trying to get inside the dorm. 

Christen feels like someone had just punched her in the gut at the sight of them. She doesn’t know what to do and she finds herself frozen in place just watching as Tobin gets the door open and pulls the girl inside with her, neither of them even noticing Christen standing there.

She feels like she wants to cry and scream all at th same time, but she knows that is stupid. She and Tobin aren’t dating and she doesn’t really have a right to be mad or upset. But it still hurts. 

A lot. And all of a sudden, she feels like she can’t breathe.

She kept telling herself that Tobin didn’t like her and that nothing was going to happen between them. She knows that Tobin doesn’t do relationships and she knows that Tobin sleeps around a lot. But a part of her still had some hope, no matter how hard she tried to convince herself that it wasn’t going to happen. 

They’d been spending so much time together and Tobin had been so sweet and caring. She’d gone out with her family and she’d mad an effort to get to know her more. She’d even taken her out on that hike to try and calm her down when she was close to having an anxiety attack. And she’d gotten so much more affectionate with her lately. She’d really started to feel like something was happening between them. 

But maybe it was all just in her head. Maybe it was just her with the feelings and she was projecting that onto Tobin and their whole relationship. Maybe she had read everything wrong. 

Obviously, Tobin doesn’t feel the same. And she feels like an idiot.

“Hey Christen, I didn’t think you’d still be up,” she hears Ali’s voice. She looks down the hallway and sees Ashlyn and Ali walking towards her. 

Christen can’t even conjure up words and just looks back at Tobin’s door with a frown on her face, trying to will herself not to cry.

“You alright?” Ali asks, placing a gentle hand on Christen’s arm, looking at her with concern. 

Christen finally snaps out of her stupor and looks up at the two girls that are now looking at her in concern. “Oh yeah,” she lies, shaking her head, trying to get her emotions under control. “I’m fine. I was sleeping and I heard you guys out here. I’m still half asleep,” she says, forcing out a laugh and trying to play off why she’s so out of it. “I just wanted to make sure everyone is okay,” she concludes, which isn’t a lie. 

They both nod at her though they don’t look entirely convinced. “I think everyone made it back,” Ali tells her with a nod. “Night, Christen,” she then smiles. 

Ashlyn goes to unlock her door, but Christen stops her. “I wouldn’t go in there,” she says with a frown. 

Ashlyn looks at her confused but stops opening the door. 

“Tobin just went in with a girl,” Christen says, trying to sound as casual as possible. 

She doesn’t miss the look between Ashlyn and Ali before they both look back over at her. She hates the pitty she sees in their eyes and it just makes her want to cry a little bit more. Had she really been that obvious?

“Damn it, Tobin,” she hears Ali mumble under her breath and she’s a little confused by the statement, but she’s not in the mood to questions it. “Are you okay?” Ali asks again, this time more gentle rubbing her hand up and down Christen’s arm. 

Christen sighs and tries to put on a brave face, nodding her head. “Yeah why wouldn’t I be?” She asks, trying her best not to break. She knows that they can probably see right through her, but she’s really hoping they won’t bring it up. There was nothing even going on between her and Tobin so there is really no point in having this conversation. And no reason for them to feel bad for her. Tobin can do whatever she likes. 

Ali really wants to say something and she studies Christen’s face for a few moments, deciding if she should or not. “Okay,” Ali finally says with a small sigh, deciding to let it go. She turns back to Ashlyn, grabbing her hand. “Come and stay with me,” she says, pulling Ashlyn closer to her. 

Ashlyn of course doesn’t protest and just nods her head. “Night, Pressi,” Ashlyn says, giving her a sympathetic smile. 

“Goodnight,” she says, giving them her best smile before she goes back into her dorm room. 

She throws herself back on her bed and curls up into a ball. She can’t hold it in any longer and lets out a small sob, thankful that Alex wasn’t in the room tonight. She hugs her pillow close to her, trying her best to not think about what is going on in the room across the hall from her.

—-

Christen, Kelley, Ashlyn, Ali and Pinoe all go into their usual coffee shop the next morning. Christen had woken still feeling sorry for herself, but she’d forced herself out of bed and went to the gym to do her yoga and meditation. It had helped her a little, but she still couldn’t get over how much her heart ached. And more than that, she’s just mad at herself for being so stupid. For believing that someone like Tobin would actually be into her and for believing that something could actually ever happen between them. 

She’s also mad at herself for getting the feelings in the first place. She’d done so well in the past keeping herself at a distance from people and just focusing on school and soccer. But, for some reason she just hadn’t been able to stay away from Tobin. And this is the result. This is one of the reasons she likes to keep to herself. It’s safer.

She’d run into the girls on her way back to the dorm and they had invited her out to coffee. She wanted to say no and just curl back up in bed, but she’d decided that she should probably get out of the room. Hulling herself up in her room and crying wasn’t going to make her feel any better. Though she’s not sure what would make her feel better right now. Being with her friends seems to be helping slightly. 

“I feel like we’re on Friends,” Kelley says with a smirk as she sits down at the table. “We have our own little Central Perk,” she adds with a smile. “I mean, we’re always here.” 

Pinoe laughs at her, shaking her head. “Yeah that’s because none of us can function without coffee,” she says, making the others nod in agreement. “I’d hate to be around some of you without some caffeine in you,” she adds with a chuckle. 

“You’re just as bad,” Ashlyn reminds her with a pointed look.

Christen just sits back quietly listening to their banter. Honestly, she’s one of those said people and she doesn’t really like talking to anyone before she has some caffeine in her. Not that she’s very talkative even after it. And today, she’s just feeling extra non-talkative.

“I bet Pretty Pressi is still an angel before her coffee,” Kelley smirks looking over at the girl who had kind of zoned out. She shakes her head, pulling herself out of her thoughts and looks at them a bit confused. She hadn’t really been listening to much of the conversation to be honest. She’d been too caught up in her own thoughts. 

“Pretty Pressi is grumpy before coffee too,” a new voice says. 

Christen tenses up at the sound of Tobin’s voice and looks up to see her approaching the table with a smirk. “I am not,” Christen defends with a frown.

Tobin hums and sits down next to her. “I don’t know, I’ve run into you quite a few times in the morning before class,” she tries to argue. 

Christen just shakes her head. “You are grumpy,” she says matter of fact, giving Tobin a pointed look. “I’m just not very talkative,” she explains.

Tobin just shrugs with a smile on her face, reaching over to squeeze Christen’s knee. 

Christen gives her the best smile that she can muster up, but it’s not much. Honestly, she doesn’t want to be mad at Tobin because the girl didn’t do anything wrong. They aren’t together and she really had no reason to believe that they were. She’s just hurt because she’d let herself develop feelings that weren’t returned. And it wasn’t Tobin’s fault, but seeing Tobin right now isn’t really helping.

“Well, Press gets up at an ungodly hour every morning. I’d be grumpy too,” Ashlyn says with a light smile. She glances over at Ali who is also watching the two of them, feeling a bit protective of Christen after last night. Even though, Tobin has no idea that Christen saw her.

“Oh right, yoga,” Kelley nods with a mischievous grin. “Can I come with you one morning?” 

Christen gives her a smile and shrugs her shoulders. “Sure, do you do yoga?” She asks curiously. 

Everyone at the table laughs and Kelley looks a bit offended. “You guys don’t know my life,” she says folding her arms across her chest. “I’ve been wanting to learn how,” she claims with a shrug. “We can all do it!” She says excitedly.

Tobin furrows her brows and shakes her head. “No way, dude,” she laughs. “Do I seem like someone who would be good at yoga?” 

Kelley smirks at her and then nudges Tobin. “We get to see Pretty Pressi in tights doing yoga,” she says in a loud whisper, not actually trying to prevent Christen from hearing her. “I bet she’s very flexible,” she adds, sending Christen a wink. 

Christen blushes hard and looks down at her coffee on the table. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Ali reach over and hit Kelley, which pulls a grin out of her.

“What? I bet it’s a great sight,” Kelley defends and Christen just blushes harder. 

“Stop being gross,” Tobin says, sending Kelley a glare, which surprises all of them. Normally Tobin would be right there with her doing all the flirting.

Christen glances over at Tobin curiously and sees her still frowning at Kelley. 

“Sorry,” Kelley apologizes, looking back to Christen. “I was just joking,” she says with a soft smile, hoping she hadn’t actually crossed any lines. 

“I know,” Christen says, giving her a smile. She honestly wasn’t bothered by the banter, just a little embarrassed. She’s not used to people flirting and hitting on her like this. She’s never really thought of herself as someone people would be attracted to.

“So Tobs, what happened to your lady friend?” Pinoe asks, wiggling her eyebrows at Tobin.

Ali sends her a glare and Christen tries to act like she didn’t see it. She doesn’t need them to censor their conversation for her or pity her. It’s the last thing that she wants. Though, maybe the actual last thing she wants is to really hear about Tobin and any other girl. 

Tobin subtly glances over at Christen before she awkwardly shrugs her shoulders. “She left,” she mumbles, clearly not wanting to talk about it. “I don’t know why you guys feel the need to bring it up,” she says, clearly annoyed. She looks over at Christen again, but Christen just continues staring down at the table, refusing to look over at Tobin.

“You should really start treating women better,” Ashlyn says a little disapprovingly.

Tobin lets out a loud sigh, rolling her eyes at them. “Like I’ve said before, they know what they are getting into before anything happens,” she says, feeling like she is constantly repeating herself with them. “Can you guys please just get off my back,” she says angrily. 

“You used to be just as bad,” Ali reminds her girlfriend. She’s not happy with Tobin either, but the girl is an adult and she doesn’t really think she deserves all the nagging either. Especially not from someone who was just as bad. 

“Yes, but then I fell in love,” Ashlyn says sweetly, leaning over to kiss Ali’s cheek.

Tobin gags at the two of them, making Christen frown. 

“They’re cute,” Christen says with a smile, looking over at Tobin. 

“Yeah, Toby, we’re cute,” Ashlyn says teasingly, pulling Ali closer to her.

Tobin just shrugs her shoulders and looks down at her phone, not really wanting to comment any further and clearly getting a bit uncomfortable over the whole conversation. 

“Just wait, Tobin. You’ll find the one some day and realize how much better this is than all the sleeping around,” Ashlyn tells her matter of fact. 

Tobin glances up from her phone and over to Christen who is still sitting quietly, sipping on her coffee, looking almost as uncomfortable as she is. She then looks back over to her friends who have knowing looks on their faces. “No thanks, I’m good,” she frowns, looking back down at her phone. “I need coffee,” she decides, realizing she’d been too caught up talking to them that she hasn’t even gone to order yet. 

Christen follows Tobin with her eyes as she walks up to the counter, a small frown on her face. She’s hurting, but she can’t deny that just seeing Tobin is still giving her that same calming feeling that she always gets when Tobin is around. No matter how hurt she is, she still just wants to be in Tobin’s presence. She figures that’s not going to help her to get over the girl, but she also doesn’t know what to do. It’s not like she can never see Tobin again and honestly the thought of that makes her chest tighten. 

“Chris,” she hears, snapping her out of the thoughts. She pulls her eyes away from Tobin and looks over at her friends. 

“What?” She asks, clearly not listening to whatever they’d been talking about. 

“Are you alright?” Ali asks her with concern.

Christen sighs, because she’s really tired of getting asked that question. “Yeah,” she nods simply. “Why wouldn’t I be?” She asks with a small shrug, glancing nervously at the others sitting at the table. She knows that Ali and Ashlyn obviously have some idea of what is going on, but she’s not sure how much the others know and she’d prefer that they don’t know anything.

Ashlyn and Ali look between each other, not convinced. 

However, none of them dare to question Christen any further. And even if they had wanted to, Tobin walked back over to the table, taking her seat next to Christen stopping them before they got the chance. 

“Can we point out the elephant in the room?” Kelley asks, making them all look at her nervously. Tobin glances over at Christen and then back at Kelley anxiously, not really sure where she’s is going with this. 

Ali and Ashlyn give her subtle glares, telling her not to go there, but she of course ignores them, waving them off with her hand as she takes in a deep breath, preparing them for what she is going to say next. 

“Yes, I got laid last night,” she says with a nod. 

It makes the others burst out laughing, even Christen who is thankful for someone breaking the tension. 

“Nice,” Tobin comments feeling relieved. She reaches over without really thinking about it and steals a raspberry out of Christen’s bowl of fruit. She notices some of the girls frowning at her and it’s then she realizes what she’s done. “What? She doesn’t like raspberries,” she says with a shrug, leaning back in her seat.

Christen can’t help but smile even at something so small that Tobin remembers like the fact that she doesn’t like raspberries. She’s finding it really difficult to be upset with Tobin in any way. Their relationship is just so easy and after everything they seem to just be falling back into comfortable patterns. “It’s true,” Christen says with a shrug, pushing the bowl in between her and Tobin so Tobin can have more of the raspberries. 

Tobin grins at her and eats another one. 

“So, what’s up with this girl. Please tell me you aren’t pulling a Tobin,” Ali says with a frown, glaring over at Tobin before looking back at Kelley. 

Kelley just smiles and shakes her head. “No, I got her number,” she tells them proudly. “I’m going to call her later and ask her out,” she says, not being able to hide her excitement. 

“That’s great Kelley,” Christen grins, happy for her friend. She looks back down when she sees Tobin reaching and sees her going for a strawberry this time so she swats at her hand. “Hey, I like strawberries,” she says with a pout, watching as Tobin eats it with a guilty smile, thinking she had been sneaky. 

“I’m hungry,” Tobin pouts. 

“So go get food,” Christen says with an exasperated sigh. “Stop eating mine,” she says, shoving Tobin’s hand away as she reaches out again, though she can’t help but giggle at the girls antics. 

Tobin folds her arms across her chest like a chastised child. “I was going to get a bagel, but I didn’t want to get nagged.” 

Christen rolls her eyes and throws one of the raspberries at Tobin. “Go get your damn bagel,” she says with a giggle. 

Tobin dodges the berry and grins widely standing up to go to the counter, ordering herself a couple of bagels. 

Christen tunes back into the conversation the others were having and hears them helping to plan a date for Kelley and this girl that she had met. She tries really hard to listen, but she can’t stop herself from just staring at Tobin as she stands at the counter waiting for her bagel. She hates herself for how much she still likes Tobin and how much she still wants to be around her.

When Tobin comes back over she gives Christen a grin, her mouth full of bagel, and Christen just shakes her head, smiling back at her. 

“Anyone want to play a pick up game tonight?” Tobin asks, once the conversation had come to a lull again. Most of the girls agree and then Tobin turns to Christen. “Can you please move some things around in your planner and come play with us?” She asks, giving the girl her best puppy dog eyes. 

Christen smiles as she realizes Tobin remembers her day planner and how scheduled she likes to be. She’s happy that Tobin had taken that into consideration before asking her. Just another thing that makes it harder to be upset with her.

Though, she knows that she shouldn’t go and play. She had a hard time studying most of the week while Tobin was gone because shes’d been so unsettled and then they’d gone out last night. She’s a little behind. Plus, she knows she just needs a break from Tobin anyway. As much as she still wants to be around her, she knows it’s better for her heart if she puts some distance between them. It’ll hurt as well, but maybe it’ll end better for her. 

“I can’t,” Christen shakes her head. 

Tobin groans and just keeps pouting at her. “Please? We haven’t played together in over a week!” She exclaims. 

“And we will play together at practice tomorrow,” she reminds her, making Tobin just sigh. 

“That’s too long,” she whines. 

Christen smiles at her, but shakes her head, holding strong. “I really need to study. I’m sorry,” she apologizes, her tone hopefully leaving no room for argument. 

Tobin lets out a huff, but doesn’t ask her anymore. She just sits back and continues eating her bagel, which Christen is thankful for. 

“I’m actually going to head back now,” she informs them. 

Ali leans over and kisses Ashlyn’s cheek, giving her a look and the two have a silent conversation before Ali stands up as well. “I’m going to walk with you,” she tells her with a smile. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, and gives the rest of the girls a wave before heading out the door with Ali. 

They walk in silence for the first few minutes and Christen can tell that Ali wants to say something to her, but she’s obviously having a debate with herself on if she should or not. Christen really hopes that she doesn’t end up asking her, but she’s pretty sure she’s not going to get away with silence for much longer. 

“You don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to, but I am here if you want,” Ali finally offers softly. 

Christen glances over at her and bites down on her lip, choosing not to say anything. She gives Ali a small smile, silently thanking her and just continues walking. 

And Ali really doesn’t want to be pushy but she does have a few things she’d like to say. “Look,” she says with a sigh, pulling Christen’s arm so that they stop walking. She turns Christen towards her and finds her eyes. “We don’t have to really get into details or talk much about Tobin, but I’m not blind,” she tells her softly. “I can see that you like her,” she says. 

Christen doesn’t even try and deny it. She just nods her head, her eyes finding her shoes on the sidewalk. 

“I love Tobin to death,” Ali starts with a smile. “But, I care about you as well and I really don’t want to see you get hurt,” she tells her, making Christen look up at her. “I think that Tobin likes you too,” she says, and Christen just scoffs, rolling her eyes. “Hey, I’m serious,” Ali says, ducking her head to find Christen’s eyes again, wanting to get her point across. “I don’t really know why Tobin is so against relationships and why she acts this way, but seriously I’ve never seen her the way she is when she’s around you.”

Christen looks up at her with hopeful eyes, and she kind of hates that Ali may be getting her hopes up again. She definitely should have learned her lesson. 

“She does like you, but I know Tobin and she’s stubborn and she acts out and she doesn’t think things through very well,” she explains. “I don’t know what is going to happen between you guys and if she will ever get her head out of her ass, but I just want you to be careful,” she says softly. “You’ve become a good friend of mine and I just don’t want to see you get hurt. I think that you and Tobin could be great together and it would definitely be good for her, I just don’t know if it’ll happen.” She says honestly. 

“I don’t know what to do,” Christen admits, tears starting to form in her eyes. 

Ali sighs and pulls Christen into a comforting hug. “Maybe try and talk to Tobin? See where she’s at?” She asks, pulling away to look at Christen, but keeping her hands on her waist. 

“I think we know where she’s at,” Christen says with a sigh, thinking back to last night. 

“Maybe, but it’s probably something you should talk about,” Ali suggests. 

“I don’t know,” Christen says with a frown. “I don’t really want to upset her. I think that it’s better we stay friends anyway so why even bring it up?” She asks with a sniffle, trying to reign her tears in. 

Ali gives her a sad smile and nods her head. “I think you guys should talk, but I won’t force you to do anything, okay?” 

“Okay,” Christen sighs. She wipes her tears as the two start back towards the dorm. “Thank you, Ali,” she says softly. “I’ve never really had friends before. It’s nice to know that someone cares,” she admits. 

Ali grabs her hand, giving it a squeeze. “I’m here for you. Ashlyn too,” she tells her with a warm smile. 

—-

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Ashlyn glares over at Tobin. Kelley and Pinoe had left shortly after Ali and Christen, which Ashlyn was thankful for because she’d been wanting to say those words to Tobin all morning. 

Tobin looks caught off guard by the comment and furrows her brows. “What?” She asks offended. 

Ashlyn lets out a loud sigh and leans back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest. “Christen saw you bring that girl home last night,” she informs her. 

Tobin’s eyes widen at the information and she at least looks guilty for half a second, before covering it up with a stoic face. “So?” She questions, casually. 

Ashlyn kind of just wants to jump over the table and slap her. But she doesn’t. “So, you know why it’s a big deal,” she says knowingly, not really in the mood to play games or have Tobin play dumb. “She’s into you and you know that.” 

Tobin sighs and shakes her head. “So what? I’m not allowed to hook up with people because someone else has a crush on me?” She asks, her brows furrowing, her annoyance rising. 

“You know it’s different,” Ashlyn points out. “You guys may not be dating, but there is definitely something there and you have definitely been doing things that would lead her on. Don’t play stupid or try and act all innocent like you have no idea what I’m talking about. You may be stubborn but you aren’t an idiot,” Ashlyn calls her out. 

Tobin sighs, feeling a bit overwhelmed at Ashlyn’s aggressive behavior, though she knows that she’s right. And honestly she feels like shit. She hadn’t even wanted to sleep with that girl last night, she just felt like she had needed to prove some stupid point. And she definitely hadn’t wanted Christen to see it. She can’t imagine what she’s feeling right now.

“What do I do?” Tobin asks helplessly. 

“Get your shit together and fix this,” Ashlyn says simply, before standing up and leaving Tobin in the coffee shop alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading as always! Please comment and let me know what you thought! If there were any certain parts you liked feel free to tell me! Or if you have any suggestions or just things you'd like to see as we move forward together! 
> 
> Also find me on tumblr for any comments or questions or just to say hi! I'm very friendly! 
> 
> tumblr: dope1723


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! Thank you so much again for all of your amazing comments! I'm not sure why but I just haven't like anything that I am writing recently (including this chapter!) So all of the kind comments really make me feel better and continue to push me to keep writing this story! You are all great! 
> 
> Enjoy...

They don’t see each other for almost a week outside of soccer and a couple of times in the hallway. Honestly, Christen was trying to avoid Tobin. It’s been difficult and she already misses being around the girl, but she knows it’s for her own sake. She really needs to try and get over these feelings she’s having for Tobin before she can be around her again. 

It’s been hard because Tobin has asked her multiple times to hang out and Christen has almost given in. But, she’s held strong, just telling the girl that she needs to study or doesn’t feel like being around people. Which wasn't a complete lie because she does need to study and most of the time she really doesn’t like being around other people. Especially right now when she’s hurting and her anxiety is through the roof. She’s been stressed enough over school and her performance on the field, but everything with Tobin has just made her more on edge. 

Actively avoiding Tobin has just added more stress to her life. She can see how hurt Tobin is when she rejects her invite and how sad she looks when Christen doesn’t stick around to talk to her after practice or in the mornings when they see each other at the elevators. She doesn’t want to hurt Tobin, but she really needs to try and protect herself. She also can’t help but think Tobin will be over it soon enough. It’s not like she had the same feelings for Christen and she has plenty of friends. She’s pretty sure that she will survive without her. Christen is starting to believe that maybe she won’t survive without Tobin though. 

Christen needs to just focus back on school and soccer. It’s what she came here to do and she needs to stop getting distracted. She should have never even started trying to make friends and she definitely shouldn’t have let herself develop these feelings for Tobin.

And it also has meant that she’s stopped hanging out with everyone on the team, not just Tobin. Not that she hung out with them that often in the first place, but she doesn’t go with Ali and Julie for coffee anymore and she doesn’t have lunch with everyone in the cafe like she had a few times. She’s also turned down the invites of all the group hang outs. 

Honestly, she just wants to go back to being alone. It’s a lot safer that way. 

As she’s walking back to her dorm, she sees Tobin coming down the hallway. She feels her heart skip a beat at the sight of her, and it makes her angry that she’s still not over this stupid crush. She’s really not sure when it’ll be gone, but she really didn’t think it would last this long or be this hard. But she’s also never had these feelings for anyone before so it’s new territory. 

“Hey, Christen,” Tobin greets with a hesitant smile. She hasn’t been oblivious to the way that Christen has been avoiding her. She knows that she’s to blame for it, but all she wants to do is try and make it better. Christen just won’t let her. 

“Hi,” Christen greets back with a weak smile. 

Tobin bites down on her lip and studies Christen for a few seconds, not really sure if she should continue speaking to her. She knows that she messed up and it’s obvious that Christen is upset with her. She clearly wants nothing to do with her no matter how hard Tobin has tried. “Do you want to get coffee or something?” Tobin tries, never one to give up. Maybe Christen will eventually give in to her.

“I can’t. I have a test in a couple of days and I really need to study,” Christen replies. And it’s not a lie, because she does have a test coming up and she’s been pretty stressed out about it. She always stresses over tests and ends up doing excellent so she knows deep down that she doesn’t need to worry, but she still does. Her brain just won’t let her relax. It’s constantly telling her that she is going to fail. 

“Oh,” Tobin replies simply, though she’s not really surprised. “Can we please just talk?” Tobin asks, looking at the girl a bit desperately. She’s been trying to talk to Christen all week long but she’s been running away before Tobin can get the chance. All she wants to do is apologize and try and work this out. She misses her.

“I don’t really think there is anything we need to talk about,” Christen replies simply. She knows it’s a lie, and they really should talk. But Christen doesn’t want to. She just wants to get over this crush and go on about her life. She doesn’t want to rehash things or have to hear from Tobin that she doesn’t share the same feelings. She doesn’t need to hear it because it’s obvious. And hearing it will just hurt even more.

Tobin sighs and her shoulders slump at the girl's response. Honestly, the way that Christen has been acting is driving her crazy. Tobin has never had to try this hard for a girl’s attention, nor has she ever felt the need to try. If it were anyone else, she’d just give up and not be bothered. But for some reason she feels a desperate need to talk to Christen and a need to fix things between them. 

Tobin reaches out and grabs Christen’s arm just as she’s about to go into her dorm room. “I think that we do,” Tobin tells her with a frown. She doesn’t want to push Christen, which is why she’s been letting her go all week, but enough is enough. “Please? Just two minutes,” she tries. 

Christen sighs, but turns fully around towards Tobin, “Fine. Two minutes,” she nods. 

Tobin gives her a smile, happy that she’d agreed, but then she frowns, getting a bit nervous. She’s had over a week to think about what she should say to Christen, but she’s still not really sure. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for last week. I’m sorry that I brought that girl back and I’m sorry that you saw it,” she says, deciding to just get to the point, considering she only has two minutes anyway. She bites down on her bottom lip, studying Christen’s expression, but she stays stoic which just makes Tobin even more nervous. “I was drunk and I was being dumb,” she says, though she knows that isn’t a good excuse and Christen definitely deserves better. 

“Tobin, you don’t have to apologize for sleeping with someone,” Christen tells her with a shrug, trying to act as casual as she can. Honestly, she wants to scream at Tobin and tell her how much she hurt her, but she decides against it. They never admitted to having feelings for each other and they definitely were never dating so honestly, Tobin doesn’t have anything to apologize for. It’s not her fault that Christen had developed feelings and that she was feeling hurt over Tobin’s actions. And Tobin doesn’t even need to know that she’s feeling hurt. They don’t need to open that can of worms. “I don’t know why you think that it would upset me,” she continues lying.

A part of her really does want to have a real conversation about this and know what Tobin is feeling, and if she did have any sort of feelings for her. But Christen is also afraid to know that answer. And it doesn’t matter anyway, because nothing is going to happen between them regardless. It’s just better this way, so what is the point in digging into all of those feelings and having this conversation? What’s the point in letting Tobin know that she had hurt her.

Tobin looks at her a bit confused. She really hadn’t expected Christen to be so casual about all of this. But maybe Ashlyn was wrong. Maybe Christen really didn’t have feelings for her. “I just feel like you are upset,” Tobin says, her brows furrowing. “You’ve been avoiding me all week,” she adds, not really sure how Christen is feeling at the moment. She seems fine right now, but her actions all week say otherwise. 

“Tobin, I’ve just been busy with school and soccer and everything. I haven’t been avoiding you,” she lies yet again. She’s surprised how easy the lies are coming out because she’s never been good at lying before. Though, she’s pretty sure that Tobin sees right through her and she’s not doing as well as she thinks. 

Tobin wants to argue with her, but she decides that it won’t help anything. If Christen says she’s fine then she guesses that she should just accept that. “Okay,” she says, not fully convinced. “I just want to make sure that we’re okay, I guess,” she says with a small shrug, feeling way too vulnerable for her liking and maybe a little embarrassed. She feels like an ass for assuming how Christen had been feeling, but she could have sworn she was right. She knows things have been different between them. But maybe it was all just in her head, maybe Christen really is fine. 

She had been preparing herself for a hard conversation about feelings and everything else with Christen all week, but now it seems that Christen doesn’t even want to talk about it and that she is okay. Tobin knows that she should probably just let it go, but she also finds herself not really believing it and still needing to talk more. 

She hates feeling like this and she hates dealing with her feelings. She’s not used to this. This is one of the reasons she doesn’t want a relationship. Feelings are complicated and hard. 

“We’re fine,” Christen says shortly, not giving the girl anything else. 

Tobin just sighs because they are obviously not fine. She can feel it. They had been getting so close and were having such a good time together. Christen was always so smiley when they were together and now Tobin realizes how much she misses her smile. She aches to make Christen smile at her again. And she knows that it’s her own fault, she’s just not sure how to fix it. “I miss you,” Tobin says simply, a small pout on her lips. 

Christen can’t stop the small smile from forming on her lips at Tobin’s words. And Tobin has her head down, her foot scuffing against the floor with a pout on her face and she just looks so adorable. It also makes Christen’s heart ache. She just wants to reach out and hug her. “I miss you too,” she admits quietly, not being able to help herself. 

Tobin looks up at that, a bit surprised. “Can we please hang out soon?” Tobin asks again, taking this as an opportunity. Christen had admitted to missing her too, that’s a good sign right? 

“Yeah,” Christen nods, unable to say no. “But not today,” she then adds. 

Tobin just nods her head, accepting what she can get. “Okay. Just text me anytime. Or you know where I live,” she says with a smile. 

Christen laughs and nods her head. “Okay,” she says simply. “I’ll see you later,” she then says, turning and walking into her dorm room, not giving Tobin another look. 

She really does want to hang out with Tobin and it was becoming harder and harder to say no to her. Especially when Tobin kept pushing. She was surprised by the fact that Tobin had tried to bring up what happened a week ago as well. She didn’t really think that Tobin would feel the need to talk about it. She definitely hadn’t expected her to apologize. Maybe, she was actually having feelings for her too? Maybe she felt whatever this is between them. 

No. 

She can’t go down this road again. It doesn’t matter if Tobin returned her feelings or not. She can’t date her. Not only does Tobin clearly not want a relationship, but she’s already decided that it is best for her if they stay friends, regardless. They’re teammates and plus, Christen just needs to focus on school and soccer.

With a sigh, she sits down at her desk, giving Alex a small smile when she greets her. Her and Alex didn’t talk much before, but now Christen is keeping to herself even more. Thankfully, Alex hasn’t tried to push her to talk about anything. She’d just asked her if she was okay a couple of times and then left her alone. 

Christen opens up her textbook and tries to focus on her studying, and not the girl across the hall from her. 

—-

A couple of days after Christen had promised Tobin that they would hang out, they still haven’t and Tobin is going crazy. She has had to stop herself multiple times from going over to Christen’s room and bugging her or texting her constantly. She knows that she has to respect whatever Christen wants, but it still isn’t easy. She misses her and she’s honestly never felt this way before, she’s not sure how to handle it. She’s never been this hung up on someone or felt this strong of a need to be around someone. 

“What is wrong with you?” Ashlyn asks with a sigh, looking over at Tobin, who just gives her a confused look. “You won’t stop tossing and turning and you’ve sighed 5 times in the last 10 minutes,” Ashlyn groans, rolling over on the bed to face Tobin. 

Tobin sighs yet again and throws her arms against the bed, frustrated. “Christen,” she says simply. “She won’t talk to me and she’s avoiding me,” she explains with a frown. 

Ashlyn just nods because she’s definitely noticed that the two of them haven’t been hanging out. She’s also noticed that Christen hasn’t been hanging around with any of them. She’s just been giving Christen her space, knowing that she was upset. Ali said that she wouldn’t talk to her either. “Do you blame her?” She asks a bit accusingly. 

Tobin wants to look offended, but she knows that she can’t. “No,” she admits with a groan. “I just don’t know how to fix it. She won’t talk to me. I tried and she just brushed me off and told me she was fine,” she says, frustrated. 

Ashlyn sits up and looks over at her friend. “Tobs, do you have feelings for Christen?” She asks seriously. It’s pretty obvious that the girl does, but she wants to actually hear Tobin admit to it. However, Tobin frowns and stays quiet at the question, obviously not wanting to answer. “Okay, let me ask you this... Do you want a relationship with Christen?”

Tobin’s eyes widen and she looks over at Ashlyn, looking almost terrified. “I...no,” she says, shaking her head. 

Ashlyn frowns at the answer, but nods her head because she had been expecting it. “Okay, then maybe just leave her alone,” she decides. “She obviously has feelings for you and if you don’t return them, then you need to just give her her space. If you go and make up with her and start going back to the way things were before, you’re just going to hurt her again,” she tells her honestly. She knows that Tobin doesn’t want to hurt Christen, but she also knows if they start going back to how they were that it’s inevitable. 

She doesn’t believe for one second that Tobin doesn’t have feelings for Christen, but she doesn’t find it surprising that Tobin won’t admit to them. And she knows trying to force her to admit to her feelings will just make things worse. It’s what had gotten them into this situation in the first place. Tobin acts out when she’s scared or feels cornered. However, Ashlyn can’t help herself.

“Why are you so afraid to admit that you may actually like someone? Why are you so against relationships?” Ashlyn can’t stop herself from asking. She’s been wanting to ask Tobin for a while, but she’d figured that it wasn’t worth getting Tobin upset over. But now that there is actually someone that she could be happy with, she really wants to know the answer. It’s getting a bit ridiculous. She has a chance to be happy with someone great and she’s just going to blow it.

Tobin gets uncomfortable at the question and rolls back onto her back, not wanting to look Ashlyn in the eyes. She chews on her bottom lip, thinking the question over for a few minutes. “I would just screw it up anyway,” Tobin finally says quietly, not really giving her any more of an answer than that.

Ashlyn sighs and shakes her head. She wants to shake Tobin and tell her to stop being so stupid, but she’s trying to stay supportive and not make things worse. “You don’t know that,” she says pointedly. “Tobin, I love you but come on,” she says with a deep sigh. “Honestly I think that you’d be really good with Christen. I can tell how much you like her and I know you’d do everything you could do prevent her from getting hurt. People fight and sometimes relationships are hard, but honestly, I think that you can do it.” She says, hoping to get through to her. 

Tobin stays silent for a few more minutes, not really knowing what to say. She’s taking Ashlyn’s words into consideration, but she can’t find herself believing them. Christen deserves way better than her and sure, she doesn’t want to hurt Christen and she’d never do it purposely but that doesn’t mean that she won’t end up doing it anyway. She already has hurt her and they aren’t even together. 

And she couldn’t live with herself if she messed up and hurt Christen again or hurt her worse than she already has. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Tobin finally says, rolling over onto her other side, her back facing Ashlyn. 

“Fine. But stop moping around if you aren’t going to do anything about it,” Ashlyn tells her sternly. She doesn’t want to be mean, but she also feels like Tobin could use a bit of tough love right now. 

Tobin just raises her hand up, flipping Ashlyn off in the process. 

—-

Christen is walking back from her morning yoga session, still feeling a bit tense. She’s noticed that her anxiety has spiked over the last few days and it seems like nothing she does will make it go away. She’d even stayed and mediated for an extra 15 minutes but it hadn’t done much. She’s not really sure what she can do. She’s had bad days in the past but it hasn’t seemed to last this long. But she also had her family in the past and now she just feels alone. 

She talks to her family on the phone almost every day and it helps a little, but it’s not the same. She misses them like crazy and sometimes she really just wants to quit college and go back home to them. But she knows that she can’t. This is her dream and this is what she wants. She’s not going to let her stupid anxiety get to her.

She spots Kelley walking towards her with an enthusiastic wave. She grins back at the girl, not being able to stop herself and gives her a wave as well. Kelley always just seems so happy and it’s a bit infectious, even when she’s not in a good mood. “Hey, Kelley,” she greets as she gets closer to her.

“Pretty Pressi! Where have you been all my life?” She asks dramatically, pulling Christen into a hug, which makes the girl tense up a little. It’s not that she minds the contact from Kelley, because she really does like her and has liked getting to know her more. But with how bad her anxiety has been lately, she’s just not in the mood for much physical contact. She knows that Kelley doesn’t know that though. Kelley always hugs her and it’s never been an issue.

She gives Kelley an awkward chuckle, pulling away from the hug and tries not to make it too obvious that she was uncomfortable. “I’ve been around,” she shrugs. “I’ve been pretty busy with classes and stuff,” she explains. “Just trying to stay focused,”

“Let’s go get coffee or something,” Kelley suggests with a wide smile. 

Christen frowns and shakes her head. “No, I really need to go get showered and ready for class. I’ll probably just pick up a quick coffee from the cafe,” she informs her. 

Kelley frowns back at her. “I miss you, pretty Pressi,” she says with a small pout. “You never hang out with us anymore.” 

Christen sighs and tries to give Kelley a smile, but it doesn’t really reach her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes. She really does feel bad because she doesn’t want to upset Kelley or anyone, she just really hasn’t felt like being social. “I really need to get going though,” she says, trying to walk away from her. 

She knows she should probably offer Kelley more of an explanation but she really can’t. She’s starting to feel her heart race as her anxiety takes over again and she really just wants to get to her room.

“Can I walk with you?” She asks, starting to walk with Christen, not really waiting for an answer. 

Christen shrugs but has a frown on her face. “Kelley, you really don’t need to walk with me. I’m just going to my room. Just go get coffee or whatever you were going to do,” she says with a small sigh. She really isn’t trying to be rude and she feels bad because she knows that she is coming off that way. 

“Oh,” Kelley says simply, her frown deepening. “Okay,” she says and then turns to walk in the other direction, not saying another word. Christen almost calls out after her, because she feels bad, but she decides to just continue walking to her room. She would probably just make things worse anyway. She’s not in any state to try and explain herself or have a good conversation. 

Kelley stuffs her hands in her pockets and heads towards the cafe, feeling a bit unsettled by her interaction with Christen. She’s noticed that the girl hasn’t been hanging around with them anymore but she hadn’t really thought that anything was wrong. She’d just assumed she had been busy like she’d said. But now she feels like something else is going on. She’d seemed pretty upset and almost mean. 

“Tobs!” Kelley shouts, spotting the girl on her longboard just a few feet ahead of her. 

Tobin stops and turns towards the girl, giving her a smile. “Yo,” she greets as Kelley walks up to her. 

“Hey what’s going on with Pressi?” She asks curiously, knowing that she and Tobin had gotten pretty close. 

“What do you mean?” Tobin frowns. 

“I just saw her and she looked kind of upset,” she informs her. “I asked her to grab some coffee and she turned me down, which is fine. But she seemed really tense and like something was wrong. I wanted to ask her, but she really didn’t seem like she wanted to talk to me,” she says with a worried frown. “And she hasn’t been around all week,” she adds, trying to get to the bottom of things.

Tobin bites down on her lip and looks in the direction that Kelley had been walking from. She catches sight of Christen walking into their dorms and she sort of wants to go after her. But she knows better. “I don’t know.” Tobin shrugs. “Why would you think I’d know?” She then asks a little defensively, looking back at Kelley. 

“I don’t know, you guys seem like you’ve gotten pretty close,” she states as if it were obvious. 

“Well she doesn’t tell me everything,” Tobin says, snapping a bit. 

Kelley’s eyes widen at the response. “Okay dude,” she says, furrowing her brows, not really sure why Tobin is getting angry with her. “What is this? Gang up on Kelley day?” She asks with an exasperated sigh. 

“Sorry,” Tobin apologizes, feeling bad. She knows that Kelley hadn’t meant anything by all the questions. Tobin is just a bit on edge with everything and maybe a little too defensive when it comes to Christen. “Do you want to get coffee with me?” She then asks, knowing Christen had turned Kelley down. “I may not be as pretty as Pretty Pressi, but I think I’m okay company,” she adds with a smirk. 

“Are you going to be in a better mood?” Kelley asks, raising a brow at her. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and shoves Kelley. “Come on,” she says, pushing herself off onto her board. 

“Hey! Wait up!” Kelley yells, running after her friend.   
—-

Alex walks into her dorm room and doesn’t see any sign of Christen, which is surprising because she’s pretty much been in the room at all times except to go to class. She’s just been hulled up in there, studying or reading, quietly to herself. Alex had tried to talk to her a couple of times, but Christen didn’t really seem interested. She wasn’t really sure what was going on with the girl, but she could tell something was wrong with her. And maybe they have yet to get super close, but Alex is definitely open to the idea and she does like her. She’s just not sure how to act around the high strung girl. 

Christen’s never really been talkative or the most social person, but she’s seemed even more tense and to herself than normal. Alex has also noticed that her OCD tendencies have gotten a little more out of control. She sees her over organizing her things constantly and she’ll see her move something a couple of times in a row into the same spot just repeatedly. She also notices her muttering to herself a little more and getting more frustrated. 

Alex just isn’t really sure what to do about it or how to help her. They are basically strangers who live together at this point. And she has never really been the best at comforting people either. Nor does she know how to deal someone with so much anxiety. She just doesn’t want to say or do the wrong thing and make it worse.

But she is worried about her. 

She lets out a sigh, figuring that it’s a good sign that Christen is out, it’s probably good for her. She goes to lay down on her bed but then hears a sniffle and sees something in the corner of her eye. She looks behind her and notices Christen crouched down against the wall in between her bed and her desk, curled up with her legs tightly against her chest and her arms wrapped around her legs. 

Alex jumps off of her bed and hurries over to the girl, kneeling down in front of her. “Christen?” She asks, worried. She reaches out to place a gentle hand on Christen’s arm but the girl flinches and presses herself harder into the wall, making Alex pull back. “Christen, what’s wrong?” She asks, starting to slightly panic.

Christen just lets out a sob, and holds herself even tighter, pressing herself as close to the wall as she can. Alex can hear her shallow breaths and it almost sounds like she’s having trouble breathing. 

“Christen, what do I do?” She asks, really not sure what is going on or how she can help. “You’re scaring me,” she says reaching out again, but decides against it and pulls her hand back into her body. 

Christen lifts her head up and looks at Alex with wide eyes, trying to catch her breath. She looks terrified and it makes Alex panic even more. 

“It’s okay,” she tries to tell her soothingly, but she knows that her voice sounds panicked and it’s probably not helping. “What do you need?” She asks helplessly. 

Christen tries to take in another deep breath, but just about chokes. She brings her hands up to her face and through her hair, gripping hard. “I-...” she starts to say but then feels her throat constricting and she gasps a couple of times, trying to get air into her lungs, but it seems almost impossible. “T-Tobin,” she finally chokes out, her voice strained. 

“Okay,” is all Alex says, jumping to her feet. She runs across the hallway barging into Tobin and Ashlyn’s room, startling both of them. 

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks, sitting up quickly, looking at her teammate with concern. Tobin puts her switch down and looks just as worried. 

“Christen,” she says, still too panicked to really get any other words out.

And it’s all Tobin needs to hear before she’s jumping up off her bed and headed across the hallway. 

“She’s... I don’t know, she asked for Tobin,” Alex says frantically, following quickly behind Tobin, Ashlyn behind them as well.

Tobin runs into the room and slides to a halt in front of Christen. She tries to slow her movements and calm down before she kneels down in front of the brunette, not wanting to startle her. “Chris, hey it’s me,” Tobin says softly, reaching out and placing a hand on Christen’s arm. 

Christen tenses at the contact but doesn’t flinch away like she had with Alex. She looks up at Tobin with panicked eyes. “I...I can’t breathe,” she whispers, sounding terrified. 

Tobin scoots closer to her, sitting down right in front of her. She places her hands on Christen’s shoulders gently and looks her in the eyes with a soft expression, trying not to show how worried she is. “It’s okay,” she tells her softly. “I’ve got you, alright? You just need to take in slow deep breaths,” she says. Honestly, she’s not really sure what to do either. She’s never seen anyone have a panic attack before. 

Christen tries to take in a deep breath but falters and just starts gasping for air again, her eyes widening even more as she starts to panic. “I can’t,” she cries, burying her face in her arms. Her whole body shakes and Tobin can see her shoulders rising violently as she tries to breathe. 

Tobin’s heart breaks at the sight of her and she’s also terrified. She has no idea what to do, but she knows that she just wants to make Christen feel better. “Come here,” Tobin tells her, pulling on her arms. 

Tobin pulls her away from the wall just slightly and then squeezes in behind her. She puts her legs around Christen’s body and then wraps her arms around Christen from behind, hugging her close. 

“Breathe in slowly,” she says in a soft voice, letting her chin rest on Christen’s shoulder. “Try and feel me breathing,” she says, holding Christen’s body against her own tightly. “Just copy me. In and out, slowly,” she says, trying to get Christen’s breathing under control. 

Christen grips onto Tobin’s hands that are around her waist and leans back into Tobin, trying her best to calm down. She can feel Tobin’s chest moving against her back and can feel her breath on her neck. She closes her eyes and just focuses on Tobin’s breathing, trying to mimic the actions. 

She falters a bit and lets out another sob, her whole body shaking against Tobin. 

Tobin just holds her tighter. 

“I’ve got you,” She says soothingly into her ear. “Just breath, it’s okay,” she tells her. She rests her forehead against the back of Christen’s shoulder and can feel her heart rate starting to calm down just slightly. “That’s it,” she soothes. 

It takes a few minutes but eventually, Christen’s breathing has mostly calmed down. She’s still shaking and it’s a bit irregular but she’s not gasping for air like she had been previously. “I’m sorry,” she chokes out, fresh tears falling from her eyes. 

“Don’t apologize,” Tobin says quietly, giving her a squeeze. “I’ve got you, you’re okay.” She tells her, not wanting her to get worked up again. 

After a few more minutes, Christen almost completely relaxes her body into Tobin, feeling completely drained. She brings a hand up to her face, wiping away the tears as she takes in another deep shaky breath. 

Christen looks over to the door to see Ashlyn and Alex still standing there with worried looks on their faces and she feels completely mortified. It’s definitely not the first panic attack that she has ever had and she knows it won’t be the last one. But she hates that her teammates had to see her like this. She doesn’t want them thinking any less of her or like she’s fragile and won’t be able to play or be the strong teammate that they need. 

“I’m sorry,” she says again, directing it to the two of them. 

They both give her small smiles, their shoulders relaxing a bit, seeing that she seems to be doing better. “You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Alex says, moving over to sit on her bed, giving Christen a comforting look.

Ashlyn nods, moving closer as well. “Are you feeling better?” She asks softly. 

Christen takes a deep breath in and then out, before nodding her head. She wraps her arms back around her knees and buries her face in her arms, still trying to catch her breath. She’s getting air into her lungs finally, but she still feels like she just played a 90 minute match.

“Come on,” Tobin says, gently detaching herself from Christen. She slips out from behind her and holds her hand out for Christen to take. 

But Christen frowns and shakes her head. “I don’t want to go anywhere,” she tells her quietly. The last thing she wants to do is be around people right now. She just wants to curl up in a ball in her bed and get some rest. Though, she knows that it’s too early to be going to bed right now. 

“Let’s just go and get some fresh air. It’ll be just you and me, I promise,” Tobin says giving her a small smile. “I think it’ll help you feel better,” she says knowingly. 

Christen sighs, because she really doesn’t want to leave the room, but she knows that Tobin is right. Being outside and getting some air does sound nice. And being with Tobin sounds even better. She knows that she is supposed to be getting some space from Tobin right now, but she’s not worried about that. Her anxiety has been through the roof and it finally hit it’s boiling point. The last thing she needs is to do something like keep Tobin away from her. Tobin is comforting, and she needs her right now. Even if she hates to admit it. 

“Okay,” Christen finally nods. She grabs Tobin’s hand and lets the girl help her up. “I look like a mess,” Christen murmurs, wiping her face with the sleeve of her sweatshirt. 

“You look beautiful,” Tobin says softly without thinking. She brings her hand up to wipe away some of Christen’s tears giving her a warm smile. 

Christen just blushes and looks away from her shyly, letting her clean her up a bit. 

“Let’s go,” Tobin instructs after a moment, and grabs Christen’s hand. “We’ll be back in a bit,” she tells Ashlyn and Alex before leading Christen out of the dorm room. She doesn’t miss the look that Ashlyn gives her on the way out, but she doesn’t have time to worry about it right now. She just wants to make sure that Christen is okay.

They walk outside and Christen buries her face in Tobin’s shoulder, not really wanting to deal with seeing all the people around campus. Tobin just wraps her arm around Christen’s shoulders and pulls her closer to her. 

She lets Tobin guide her behind the dorms and through a little trail in the woods that are behind them. It’s not as nice as some of the other trails around Portland, but that also means that it’s less occupied and they don’t have to worry about other hikers or people bothering them. 

“Let’s sit,” Tobin says after a few minutes when they come up to some big rocks. She helps Christen onto the rock and then sits down next to her. She doesn’t put her arm around her though and keeps a bit of space between them, figuring Christen could use the breathing room. Plus, she’s not sure after Christen calms down that she’s still going to want to be around her. She doesn’t want to push her luck.

They sit for a few minutes in silence just taking in the nature and the fresh air. Christen has her eyes closed, breathing in deeply, still trying to get her breathing back to normal. She’s definitely feeling a lot calmer, but she still has some lingering anxiety in the back of her head. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Tobin finally asks, glancing over at Christen. “We don’t have to, but I’m here if you want,” she adds with a small shrug. 

Christen sighs and opens her eyes looking over at Tobin. “I don’t know,” she frowns. “Nothing really happened,” she says honestly. “I’ve just been having really bad anxiety lately. Sometimes it’s worse than other days,” she starts to explain. “I have a really big test coming up and I don’t feel prepared and I don’t feel like I’m doing well in practice and earning my spot here,” she says and she sees Tobin open her mouth to say something, but she holds her hand up, stopping Tobin. “I know that I’m doing okay, but I get these negative thoughts and I can’t stop them. I just start spiraling,” she tries to explain, though she knows that Tobin won’t fully understand it. “I also really miss my family. They’ve always been there for me when I start to feel down or like I’m spiraling and I just feel so alone here,” she says quietly. “Plus, I’ve been missing you,” she admits. “Things seemed a lot easier when you were around.”

Tobin smiles softly at her, scooting a bit closer, but still giving her some space. “I’m still here,” she tells her. 

“I know,” Christen nods, giving Tobin a small smile in return. “I’m sorry that I was avoiding you,” she says quietly. 

Tobin just nods. “So you were avoiding me,” she says with a knowing smile. Christen hadn’t admitted to it, and just kept using excuses but Tobin knew better. 

“Yeah,” she finally admits. “I guess I was upset, which I know is dumb,” she says with a frown. “I just... I don’t know. I didn’t like seeing you with that girl. I know I shouldn’t have been upset, because you can do whatever you want. And I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. I was hurt, but you didn’t do anything wrong. It was just me and it wasn’t fair.” She rambles with a frustrated sigh. 

“Christen- 

“Don’t say anything,” Christen interrupts her. “We really don’t need to talk about it.” She says, not wanting to hear Tobin tell her that she doesn’t have those same feelings. She really just wants to try and forget about all of this. 

Tobin frowns at her and bites down on her lip. “I think we obviously do,” she says. She has been dreading having to have this conversation with Christen, but she knows that they need to. She doesn’t want Christen feeling hurt or upset. “I don’t want you to be upset with me,” she adds softly. 

“I just got my feelings hurt and it was on me,” Christen replies. “I don’t know, I guess I started to like you and I kind of thought something was happening between us,” she says, her face turning red at the admission. “But that was stupid of me to assume,” 

“Christen, stop saying you are stupid or dumb,” Tobin frowns. “It wasn’t just your fault.” She says with a sigh. She stays silent for a moment, the two just looking out at the forest in front of them, neither really knowing what to say. Tobin knows what she needs to say, but she’s having a hard time. She’s never really been good at talking about her feelings. 

Especially when she can barely even admit the feelings to herself. 

“I feel it too,” Tobin finally admits so quietly, that Christen had barely heard her.

Christen looks over at her a bit surprised at the admission. Of course, she’d thought that Tobin maybe had the same feelings for her, but that was before she saw her bringing home that random girl. All those hopes went out the window that night and she thought she’d just made it all up in her head. 

“You like me too?” Christen asks, a bit timidly, not really sure if she believes it.

Tobin sighs and bites her lip. “I don’t know,” she admits, which makes Christen frown. “I just know that I’ve never felt like this with anyone before. It’s kind of new,” she explains. 

“I haven’t either,” Christen agrees. 

Tobin glances over at Christen and then looks back out at the trees around them. “The girls were kind of on my back that night because I was being so affectionate with you and I’m never like that with girls. I was drunk and got upset by it and that’s why I brought that girl home. I was just trying to prove some stupid point,” she says, shaking her head at herself. “I never wanted to hurt you, Chris,” she says, looking over at the girl. 

“So you don’t want to like me?” She asks quietly, feeling a bit hurt.

Tobin sighs again and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t know.” She says honestly, starting to feel a little frustrated. Not at Christen, but just the whole situation. She never really wanted to like anyone like this but a part of her also wants to hang on to this feeling with Christen and have no regrets about it. It’s confusing her. “I’ve just never really wanted a relationship. I’ve always wanted to put all of my focus on soccer, and not really have to sacrifice any of my time for someone,” she explains. “I know it’s selfish, but soccer is my life and I don’t really want anything to distract me from that.” 

“I get it,” Christen agrees. “I never really wanted a distraction from it either. Especially when I’m still trying to make it. It’s my first year of college and I really want to try and go professional and I’d really love to try and make the national team. I need all of my focus on soccer too,” she agrees. It’s one of the reasons she hasn’t wanted to make friends with anyone. That and the fact that she has crippling anxiety, preventing her from doing so regardless. She’d just convinced herself that it was because she just needed to focus.

Tobin nods and looks back over at Christen. “So what does that mean for us?” She asks slightly nervously. She really doesn’t think she wants to be in a relationship right now, but she also knows that she doesn’t want to lose Christen. 

“Can we just go back to how things were?” She asks hopefully. “I really miss you, Tobin.” 

“I miss you too,” Tobin instantly replies. She scoots closer to Christen and puts her arm around her shoulders, pulling her into her. “I don’t want to hurt you, Christen,” she says sadly, not really sure how this is going to end. “And I don’t want to lose you.”

“We’ll be okay,” Christen says softly, cuddling into Tobin’s side. 

They may not have solved much, but Christen feels a lot better after their converstion. And honestly, she’s okay with where they’re at right now. She has a slightly uneasy feeling about how things could end up, but she doesn’t want to worry about it right now. She just wants to enjoy being with Tobin in whatever way she can right now.

Even if that means that they’re just friends.

—-

The next day, Christen gets to the coffee shop a little earlier than she is supposed to meet Tobin. She’d gotten out of class earlier than normal and decided just to head this way anyway. She settles at one of the tables in the back with her coffee and pulls her phone out. She decides to call her older sister because she figures that she has plenty of time, especially since Tobin is late to almost everything. 

And it only takes a few rings before Tyler’s face is smiling at her. “Hey Chris,” she says with an excited grin. 

“Hi,” Christen replies with a smile, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. She tries faking a smile as best she could, but she knows that her sister will see right through it. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks instantly, with a frown. 

Christen just sighs, knowing that her sister would be able to read her. “I just really miss you,” she tells her honestly. 

Tyler looks at her a bit skeptically. “I miss you too,” she tells her with a warm smile. “But are you sure that’s all?” She asks, knowing her sister too well. 

Christen chews on her lip and gives her sister a small shrug. “I had a panic attack yesterday. It was pretty bad,” she admits. 

Tyler looks immediately concerned. “What happened? Are you good?” She asks, looking all over Christen's face as well as she can through the camera, like she’s checking to see if she’s still in one piece. She’s been there for many of her little sisters panic attacks and she hates to think she had one and was alone. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Christen assures her. “Tobin helped me,” she adds. 

“Yeah?” Tyler asks with a slight smile. It makes Christen roll her eyes because she can see the slight smirk on her sisters face.

“Yeah,” Christen confirms. “It was so embarrassing though,” she says with a groan. “I don’t want her to see me like that. And some of the other girl’s saw it as well. I can’t even imagine what they are thinking,” she sighs. 

“Chris,” Tyler says in a chastising tone. “They aren’t going to think any less of you. There is nothing wrong with you. Panic attacks happen and it doesn’t mean you are any less of a person or a teammate,” she says, though she knows that she won’t get through to Christen. She’s damn sure going to try though. “How’d Tobin react?” She asks curiously. 

“She was great,” Christen smiles, thinking back to how good Tobin had been and how much she’d helped her. “She just held me and comforted me until I calmed down. And then we went for a little walk to get some fresh air,” she tells her, unable to stop smiling. 

“See,” Tyler says in a knowing tone. “Tobin doesn’t think any less of you. And I’m glad that she was there for you, I really am,” she says softly. “I hate that I’m not there to help you, but it’s nice to know that you have someone.” 

“Yeah, I’m glad that I have her,” Christen admits. 

“How is it going with her anyway?” Tyler asks curiously. 

Christen sighs and gives her sister a look. “We’re just friends,” she says, not daring to mention anything that had happened in the past couple of weeks. Which was surprising because she is used to telling her sisters everything. 

However, she’s never been in this situation with anyone before so she’s never had to talk to her sisters about her dating life.

It’s a little hard keeping something like this from them, but she’s not sure if she can deal with them. She knows they’ll just start asking her a million questions and tell her all about what she needs to do. Christen doesn’t want to hear their opinion on the matter honestly. She just wants to do what she feels is right without them influencing her or trying to convince her that she should keep trying with Tobin. Because she knows that is what will happen and she doesn’t want to hear it. She’s good with how things are with Tobin right now. 

Friends. Just friends, and that’s all they need to be. 

“I’m just waiting on her to get out of class and meet me for coffee,” she tells her, but then immediately regrets it. 

Tyler grins widely at her and Christen rolls her eyes again. 

“Don’t,” Christen says pointedly. 

“Fine,” Tyler laughs, putting her hands up. “Hey, you guys did great in your game a couple of nights ago by the way,” she says, changing the subject. “I know that I text you, but I wanted to tell you in person too. Or FaceTime,” she smiles. 

Christen just chuckles at her. “I didn’t even play,” she points out. She’d made the same comment a few nights ago when Tyler had text her as well. She finds it endearing how supportive her sister is no matter if she’s playing or not.

Tyler shrugs, her grin not fading. “But you will soon! And you are going to kick ass!” She exclaims. “I can also see why you are so obsessed with Tobin,” she says with a wink. “I’ve been watching her play, and she’s incredible.” 

“I’m not obsessed with Tobin,” Christen replies with an eye roll. “But yes, she is incredible,” she can’t help but agree. And just as they are talking about her, Tobin walks in the door, giving Christen a wave. She walks over to the table, before even getting her coffee and gives Christen’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“Oh, hey Tyler,” she says, realizing that Christen is talking to her sister. She gives the girl a wave and then sits down in the chair next to Christen so she can see her older sister. 

“Tobin!” Tyler says happily, giving the girl a wave. “We were just talking about you,” she says with a mischievous grin. 

Christen’s face turns red and she gives Tyler a glare. “She was just saying that she watched our game and the national friendlies,” Christen explains to her. “She may be your number one fan,” she says with a giggle. 

“Nah, that’s reserved for you,” Tobin tells her with a smile. “But thank you,” she says, turning her attention over to Tyler. 

“You’re welcome,” Tyler says with a grin. “Well, I’ll let you guys get up to whatever you guys are getting up to,” Tyler says, giving her sister another mischievous smile. 

Christen sighs and just shakes her head at her older sister. “Okay. I miss you,” she tells her with a small frown. She wants to hang out with Tobin, of course, but she always hates having to get off the phone with her sister or any of her family. No matter how much they can annoy her sometimes. 

“I miss you too, Mo,” she tells her with an affectionate smile. “I’ll see you in just a couple of weeks for Thanksgiving break,” she assures her. 

“Hey, I’ll be in LA for thanksgiving break,” Tobin smiles, remembering her plans. 

Christen looks a bit confused, but Tyler absolutely beams at her. “You have to come and join us for dinner!” She invites with an excited smile. 

Tobin laughs at her excitement, “Well, I’m having dinner with Alex’s family. Kelley is coming too. But, I’ll definitely stop by while I’m there,” she assures her. 

Tyler nods, accepting the answer. “Bye, Chris, I love you.” 

“Love you too,” Christen smiles before hanging the phone up. She then turns to Tobin, her brows furrowed in confusion. “You’re going to LA for Thanksgiving? You aren’t going home?” She asks curiously. 

Tobin just shrugs and then shakes her head. “My siblings all go with their significant others so they’re not around. My dad is still in Jersey and my mom is down in Florida,” she informs her. “LA is a lot closer anyway and we only have a week so Alex invited me to go with her,” she tells her. 

Christen just frowns because she can’t imagine not spending the holiday with her family. But, she guesses not everyone is as close with their family as she is. “Oh, you don’t miss your family?” She asks, and then winces because that may seem a bit more rude than she had meant and she doesn’t want Tobin taking it the wrong way. 

“I do,” Tobin nods. “But, I’d have to choose to go see my dad or my mom and I don’t really like having to do that, because then the other will just get upset,” she says with a small sigh. “I’ll see them in December when we have a longer break,” she shrugs, obviously not too bothered. “But hey, this way, I get to see you,” she smiles. “I’ll bring Kelley along too,” she adds. 

Christen smiles back but then frowns, remembering that Tyler had invited Tobin over. “I don’t know,” she says honestly. She loves being around Tobin but it makes her a bit nervous for her to be at her house and hanging out with all of her family. She knows that she’s hung out with them before, but it’s different, her being in her house. And making Kelley and possibly Alex come with her is different too. She doubts they would want to do that. “I doubt Kelley would want to spend some of her break just hanging out with my family. Alex either,” she says with a frown.

Tobin just shrugs in response, “I’m sure they will,” she says simply. “Your family is great.” She smiles.

Christen nods her head, but she’s still not too convinced. However, she decides to change the subject not really wanting to worry about it right now.

“Sorry, I was on the phone when you came in. I wasn’t expecting you to get here this early,” she says, not wanting to seem rude. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin says, not bothered at all. “I was early anyway. I was just excited to see you,” she says honestly, making Christen blush. “I’m going to get some coffee,” Tobin says, realizing that she still hasn’t gotten any. She’d just been too excited and had to come greet Christen before stopping to get heself some. “Do you need anything?” She asks politely. 

“No, I’m okay,” Christen smiles. 

Tobin just nods and heads up to the counter to order herself some coffee. Christen also sees her getting a couple of protein bars instead of her usual bagel which makes her grin. 

When Tobin comes back she sits in the seat across from Christen smiling at her as she takes a bite of her protein bar. 

“Tobin, I wanted to thank you again for helping me yesterday,” Christen says quietly, after a few moments of silence between the two of them. “I’m really sorry and I’m embarrassed that you had to see me like that, but I’m thankful that you were there for me.”

Tobin just gives her an easy smile, tilting her head to the side. “You shouldn’t be embarrassed,” she says honestly. “Seriously, Chris,” she says, noticing the look on Christen’s face. She reaches over and grabs one of Christen’s hands. “I’m here for you, the good and bad times,” she tells her softly. “And you shouldn’t be ashamed of anything or embarrassed. I hate that it happens to you, and I wish there was more that I could do, but you should never be embarrassed about anything with me. It’s a part of you and I like all parts of you,” she says, giving her hand a squeeze. 

Christen smiles, and ducks her head, feeling a blush on her cheeks. It’s stuff like this that just makes her like Tobin even more. It’s definitely not helping her get over her crush, and honestly she’s not even sure if she does want to get over it. She knows that it’s better if they just stay friends, but she can’t help think about it. Tobin just makes her so happy and she’s so good to her. 

“You’re too good to me,” Christen feels the need to tell her, meeting Tobin’s eyes. 

“You deserve it,” Tobin says, shaking her head. “You deserve the world, Chris. I’m just trying my best over here,” she says with a light laugh. 

“You are the best,” Christen assures her. 

Tobin just smiles at her for a moment and then gently pulls her hand back to finish eating her protein bar and take a sip of her coffee. 

“So, tell me about your family,” Christen says, sitting back in her chair and taking a drink of coffee. 

Tobin looks at her a bit confused. “What about them?” 

“I don’t know?” Christen shrugs. “You’ve met my crazy family and I feel like I don’t know anything about yours,” she says. She’d realized how little she does know about Tobin’s family when she’d talked about them briefly just a few moments ago. “Your parents aren’t together?” She asks curiously. “Sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want,” she says, backtracking, realizing it could be a tough subject. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin shrugs. “No, they aren’t together anymore,” she informs her. “I still love them both and I have a pretty good relationship with them,” she tells her. “I’m closer with my mom than my dad ever since he moved out, but we’re okay,” she says, not giving Christen much information. And Christen doesn’t really want to push it. 

“What about your siblings?” She asks, getting the focus off of her parents. 

This makes Tobin smile again. “I have two older sisters and a younger brother,” She says happily. “Me and my sisters are pretty close, but they have husbands and stay pretty busy. One of my sisters is trying to have a baby,” she says with a grin. “I’m super excited to have a niece or a nephew,” she adds. 

Christen can’t help but grin at her excitement. “That’s great,” She nods. “You’ll be so good with them,” she says, not being able to help herself from picturing Tobin playing with her little niece or nephew. “They’ll grow up to be football superstars just like their aunt,” she grins. 

Tobin laughs, and nods her head. “Oh they definitely will,” she agrees. “I’ll make sure of it.” 

“What about your brother?” Christen then asks. 

“He’s great. We’ve always been really close. I was always a tomboy when I was little and I was so excited to have a little brother. I got to go outside and play in the mud with him rather than sit there and let my sisters dress me up and put makeup on me,” she says with an eye roll, but a fond smile on her lips. 

“That’s great,” Christen smiles. “I’d love to meet them at some point,” she says. 

Tobin nods, “I think they’d all really like you,” she finds herself saying. 

“I need some embarrassing stories about you. You’ve heard enough of me,” Christen laughs, thinking back to everything her family had told Tobin. 

Tobin just chuckles in response. “Those stories were adorable,” she says honestly. “You definitely shouldn’t be embarrassed” she adds. “But, I don’t have any embarrassing stories. I was always cool,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen can’t help but laugh, shaking her head at Tobin. “Tell me something?” she asks hopefully. 

Tobin chuckles and looks down at her coffee, trying to think of something to tell Christen about her childhood. “I don’t know,” she says, feeling a bit shy. She doesn’t really talk about herself much, especially not childhood stories. “I went as Batman for Halloween one time,” she shrugs. “I made my mom draw a mustache on me and everything,” she laughs. 

“Aw,” Christen coos, smiling widely. “I need to see photos,” she says with glee. “I bet you were so adorable,” she just about squeals, making Tobin blush. “And it sounds very you,” she adds with a smirk of her own. 

Tobin just smiles at her. “You act like you know me,” she jokes. 

Christen just grins back at her. “Not as well as I’d like,” she says honestly. 

“Well what do you want to know?” Tobin asks, sitting back in her chair. 

Christen bites down on her lip, trying to think of something good, but she just shrugs. “I don’t know. I want to know everything. Even the small stuff,” she admits. “What kind of movies do you like?” She decides to ask. It’s nothing major, but she wants to know even the small details. 

“I don’t know. I guess comedies,” she shrugs. “Or action movies. I’m a sucker for a good superhero movie too,” she says with a grin. “You know, I did dress up as Batman and all that,” she says waving her hand around. “What about you?” 

Christen shrugs as well. “I don’t really watch movies,” she admits. “But, I guess I like horror movies.” 

Tobin looks absolutely horrified at the revelation. “You do not,” Tobin says, narrowing her eyes at the girl. 

“Sure, I do,” Christen shrugs, not sure why Tobin doesn’t believe her. “I always watched them with my dad and Tyler. But, they wouldn’t let me watch them for the longest time so I’d just sneak in the living room and hide behind the couch and watch them,” she giggles. “I’m pretty sure my dad knew I was there, but he knew he wouldn’t get in trouble if he just acted like he had no idea I was in the room,” she adds with a smile. 

Tobin smiles but then frowns, shaking her head. “I hate scary movies,” she admits. And most of the team knew this by now because of their movie nights, but she still hates to admit it to most people. She knows that Chrsiten won’t make fun of her though. 

“Do you get scared?” Christen asks with a smirk. 

Okay, maybe she will make fun of her. 

“They’re scary movies. It’s the whole point,” Tobin scoffs. 

Christen giggles and reaches over grabbing Tobin’s hand. “I’ll protect you if we ever watch a scary movie. I’ll make sure the imaginary people in the TV don’t get you,” she says comfortingly, but can’t help smirk at the same time. 

Tobin rolls her eyes but grins. “I hate you,” she says, trying her best to pout at Christen. 

“No you don’t,” Christen smiles. 

“You’re right,” Tobin sighs, not being able to keep the smile off her face. 

They end up just asking each other random questions as they finish up their coffee, trying to get know each other better. Christen’s glad that the two have them worked out everything. Or maybe they just brushed it under the rug for now, but either way she’s happy. She’s missed Tobin so much and it feels so nice to hang out with her. 

She feels like she can finally breath again. 

—-

They get back to their routine after that, seeing each other pretty much everyday. Some days, it’s just a quick conversation in the hallway or a group hangout with the rest of the team, but they still make sure to check in with each other every day. 

Christen still feels the lingering anxiety in the back of her mind during each practice and when when she’s studying for her classes, but somehow everything just seems better when Tobin is in her life. 

And even if she’s not personally feeling like she’s playing at her best, she actually is. She gets to play an entire half in their next game due to Pinoe having a minor muscle strain and ends up getting not one but two goals. And as always, Tobin is the first one to hug her, no matter where she is on the field. 

“I’m so proud of you,” Tobin mumbles into her neck as she spins her around. 

Christen just grins widely, feeling pretty proud of herself, which is a new feeling for her. She’s always so hard on herself, no matter how well she does. But Tobin somehow makes it impossible for her to feel down on herself. Her smile is just so infectious and she just has a way of saying those words that truly makes Christen start to believe them. 

“We’re going out tonight!” Kelley shouts as they all head back into the locker rooms after the game. Christen isn’t surprised by the announcement because it seems to be something they do after every game. She’s not even sure why Kelley feels the need to announce it because she’s pretty sure that everyone knows the routine. But she knows that it’s just Kelley and she’s just excited. 

“Are you going to come?” Tobin asks, sitting on the bench next to Christen. 

Christen bites down on her lip and shrugs her shoulders. She’s been feeling a lot better lately and she’s started hanging out with the girls a little more again, but she’s still not so sure she’s ready to hang out in such a crowded environment. 

“You don’t have to,” Tobin shrugs, knowing that Christen doesn’t really like going out. She’s also been a little more protective of her ever since she witnessed her having a panic attack. She’d always known about her anxiety but she never truly knew the extent of it. Honestly, she’d been pretty scared herself, watching Christen go through that and she’s kind of made it mission to try as hard as she can to make sure that it doesn’t happen to her again. “We could just stay in if you want?” Tobin suggests. 

Christen sighs and looks around at all of her teammates who are laughing and joking around with each other as they get changed. She’s not really sure she’s ready to be out again, but a part of her kind of wants to. She wants to try and celebrate with her team and make herself get back out there. She’d been doing better and she doesn’t want that one set back to stop her from trying. She wants to continue to push herself and do things that make her uncomfortable. It’s the only way she’s going to get any better. 

“No, we can go,” Christen tells her with a nod. She also doesn’t want to hold Tobin back from going out because she knows that Tobin likes going out with them. 

“Are you sure?” Tobin asks a bit unsure. She’s probably more nervous about Christen going into an atmosphere like that than Christen actually is. 

“I’m sure,” Christen says, giving Tobin a grin, trying to ease her worries. “You’ll be there with me, right?” She says looking at Tobin with a cute grin.

“Of course,” Tobin confirms, giving Christen’s knee a gentle squeeze. 

—- 

And she had been there for her. Or at least the first hour of the night anyway, but now she’s at the bar getting herself a beer and Christen can’t help but notice she’s flirting with some girl that had come up to her while she’d been waiting. 

Christen sighs and slumps back in her seat trying not to look over at the two of them. She knows that she shouldn’t be surprised. Her and Tobin had agreed that they shouldn’t date right now. And Christen knows that she can’t expect Tobin not to be with any other girls if she’s not going to be with her. She just really doesn’t want to see it and she kind of hadn’t thought it’d be this soon. She hadn’t really had time to prepare herself for it.

“Pretty Pressi!” Kelley shouts, sitting down in the booth next to Christen. 

“Hey, Kelley,” Christen says with a smile, pulling her focus away from Tobin and that girl. 

“Do you want to take a shot with me?” Kelley asks, holding one out for her. She knows that Christen normally doesn’t drink, but that doesn’t mean she’s going to stop trying. 

“Christen doesn’t drink,” Ashlyn says, reaching over and nudging Kelley with her foot, a smile on her face. “Stop being annoying,” she says rolling her eyes, but with a fond look.

Kelley lets out a dramatic sigh, but puts some space between her and Christen, sitting up in the booth. “Fine,” she says and then starts passing out some of the shots to the other teammates who are drinking. “I’ll get you to take one with me one day pretty Pressi,” she adds with a smirk. 

Christen gives her a smile, shaking her head at the girl, highly amused by her. Her attention then turns back to Tobin, not being able to stop herself. She’s still talking to the girl, and said girl has her hand on Tobin’s arm, clearly flirting with her. 

Christen frowns and pulls her gaze away from them again, really not wanting to see it. “You know what? Maybe, I’ll try one,” she says to Kelley, surprising all of the girls that were sitting at the table with her. She also surprises herself. She’s never really felt the need to drink before, but for some reason tonight, she wants to see what all the fuss is about. 

Kelley grins widely at her. “Let me go get some more!” She says with excitement, jumping up out of the booth. 

Christen laughs as she watches her run up to the bar. She then turns her gaze over to Ashlyn and Ali who were sitting across the table from her. They’re both looking at her with concern. “What?” She asks with a shrug. 

“You sure this is a good idea?” Ali asks softly. She hadn’t missed Tobin and that girl talking and she’s really hoping that Christen isn’t making a rash decision that she is going to regret later. 

“Why not?” Christen asks. “You guys drink,” she points out. Ali doesn’t drink every time they go out, but she has seen her do it before. She is pretty much the only one on the team that never does. “Everyone does,” she adds with a shrug. 

“Here we go!” Kelley announces, sitting down beside Christen with a couple of shots. She hands one over to the girl with a smile. “Cheers!” She shouts, clinking her little glass against Christen’s. 

Christen frowns down at the clear liquid for a fleeting second, before deciding to just bite the bullet. She gives Ashlyn and Ali another glance before throwing it back. 

And God, it tastes like absolute shit. She starts coughing and honestly feels like she is about to vomit. 

“How do you guys drink this?” She asks, pushing the empty shot glass away from her and taking a drink of her club soda. 

Kelley laughs at her and shrugs her shoulders. “You get used to it,” she replies. 

“Not really,” Ali frowns. “You just get used to sucking it up,” she then adds with a chuckle. She’s not sure how she feels about Christen drinking, but she decides she should just go with it. She’ll be there to keep an eye on her and make sure she’s okay. She supposes it’s not the worst idea for Christen to let loose for one night and have some fun. And she’s right, they all do it so it would be hypocritical of her to tell her that she can’t. She’s just worried about her. 

“I’ll get you something that tastes better,” Kelley informs her, before getting up again. She returns with a vodka cranberry and Christen has to admit that it does taste better. It’s still not great, but she can deal with it. And honestly, she’s already starting to feel her body tingling a bit. 

It feels good and that’s all she really wants right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they put a band aid on the situation for now, but it's not the end of the angst! It'll get a little worse before it gets better! Just a warning for you all! But, I hope you are all still enjoying it! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments! Love you all! 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: dope1723


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! This took a bit longer than I had planned! You'd think all of this isolation would give me more time to write. However, it's made me feel kinda down and unmotivated. But, I think that I am doing better and I'm really excited to continue this story! I have great plans for it and can't wait for you guys to read what's in my head! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Christen slams down another shot glass on the table, hearing all of the other girls around her cheering. She groans at the taste of it and makes a face. But it really is getting a little easier to drink. Though it was only her third one of the night. And she’s sipping on her second vodka drink that Kelley had gotten her in between the shots. 

It’s safe to say that she is feeling pretty good. And it’s not nearly as scary as she thought it would be to feel drunk. But, it’s probably all the alcohol just blocking out her anxiety for the time being. She thought she’d feel out of control of everything and that it would make her panic. But it’s quite the opposite. She’s still feeling a bit shy and not like she wants to be the center of attention or anything, but she’s definitely feeling more confident than she normally would.

“Yes, Pressi!” Kelley shouts, slinging her arm around Christen, wearing a proud grin. 

Christen giggles and leans into Kelley, her body feeling light and more relaxed than ever. She’s actually starting to see why so many people like drinking alcohol. She’s actually having a really good time with everyone.

“Are you having fun?” Kelley asks her with a wide smile. 

“Yes,” Christen answers simply, a smile on her face as well. “Thank you, I needed this,” she says with a sigh, leaning into Kelley a bit more. 

Kelley nods her head in agreement. “Me too,” she admits with a small frown, but it doesn’t last long and she’s smiling again. “I’m always here for drinks with you, Pretty Pressi,” she says with a wink. 

Christen just giggles and takes another sip of her vodka cranberry. 

Tobin walks over to the table after what felt like forever for Christen and sits down next to her. “What’s going on?” She asks curiously when she sees Christen all smiley, leaning on Kelley. 

Christen grins even wider and pops her head up off of Kelley’s shoulder and then leans over into Tobin. “I feel all tingly,” she giggles, nuzzling her nose into Tobin’s neck. “And I missed you,” she sighs, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s waist. “Why were you gone so long?” She whines. Though she knows the answer. She’d been flirting with that pretty girl at the bar. 

Tobin looks around at the rest of the group who are smirking at her and then she looks back down at Christen. “Are you drunk?” She asks with wide eyes, not believing it. They’ve been out multiple times and she’s never once seen Christen drink anything or seem very interested in the idea. 

Christen just giggles again. “Maybe,” she admits, looking at Tobin a little guiltily. “I only had...” she starts and then holds up her fingers trying to count how many drinks she had. She finally gets 3 fingers up and then changes it to four with a frown, forgetting how many she’s actually had. But she just shrugs and puts her hands down, giggling again.

Tobin furrows her brows and looks back at the other girls who just shrug at her. Ashlyn then points over to Kelley, who looks a bit afraid now. She raises her hands, surrendering, a small smirk on her face though. 

“Of course,” Tobin sighs at Kelley, shaking her head. “How you feeling?” She asks, turning her attention back to Christen. 

“Really good,” Christen mumbles. She lets out a sigh and lays her head back down on Tobin’s shoulder. “I like alcohol,” she says with a smile. Kelley makes a whooing sound behind them and Tobin glares at her, making her sit back with a guilty look on her face. 

“I’m sure,” Tobin just smiles, lying her head on top of Christen’s. “Why don’t we get you some water?” She suggests. 

Christen shakes her head though. “No, I want more tequila,” she grins, perking her head back up off of Tobin’s shoulder with an excited grin.

“On it,” Kelley says before Tobin can argue and she heads up to the bar. 

Tobin sighs and wraps her arms around Christen, figuring there was no point in arguing. And she guesses that she really shouldn’t be trying to stop Christen from drinking. She’s an adult and can do what she wants to do. And it’s not like Tobin doesn’t drink. She just doesn’t want Christen regretting anything tomorrow. However, she seems to be having a good time and Tobin can’t lie and say she’s not pretty entertained by a tipsy Christen. 

—-

“Pressi, have you never played darts before?” Megan asks with a chuckle as she watches another dart thrown by Christen hit the wall underneath the dart board. 

Christen flushes in embarrassment and shakes her head. “No,” she admits with a small giggle. The alcohol in her system is preventing her from being too embarrassed about how bad she is at the game. She also wants to argue that the reason she’s so bad is because of the alcohol in her system. How can anyone be good when they don’t have full control of their actions? Not to mention how off her hand and eye coordination probably is. “How do people do this drunk?” She asks with a frown. 

Kelley laughs and pulls the darts out of the board, moving to the line to take her turn. “I’m better when I’ve been drinking,” she shrugs and then throws her darts. She makes a double 20 and almost gets a bullseye, further proving her point. It just makes Christen frown even deeper. “You’re cute when you’re losing,” Kelley tells her, sending her a wink. 

Christen huffs and folds her arms across her chest, a pout on her face. 

“Come here,” Kelley says, pulling Christen up to the line. She grabs the darts out of the board and then approaches Christen again, standing behind her. She places her hands on Christen’s waist, guiding her body to how she should be standing and where she should be facing. She then puts one arm on Christen’s forearm and raises it up. “Can you close one eye?” Kelley asks curiously. 

Christen nods her head and then attempts to close one but just ends up closing both eyes. 

Kelley laughs loudly, leaning around Christen to look at her face, still standing behind her. “You know that both of your eyes are closed right?” She says with a smirk. “It’s just like winking.” She tries to instruct her.

“I am winking,” Christen retorts with a huff, closing both her eyes again. 

Kelley laughs and stands back behind Christen, shaking her head. “Okay,” she smirks, choosing not to argue with her. “Just line up your shot like this,” she says, moving Christen’s arm for her to help her line up the shot. “And throw it, keeping your arm straight,” she instructs her.

She lets Christen throw the dart and it doesn’t go where she had been aiming it, but it definitely got a little closer. And it had at least made it on the board, which makes Christen squeal in happiness. 

“Good,” Kelley says with a smile, squeezing Christen’s waist. “Now just aim a bit higher than your target because your shots are going a little low,” she tells her, guiding her arm once again to show her where to move it. She keeps her hands on Christen’s waist as she takes another shot, this time making it in the 18 slot. “Great! You got one!” 

Christen grins widely and turns around, wrapping Kelley up in a hug. Kelley smiles widely and hugs Christen back tightly.

After a moment, Christen pulls away. She gives Kelley another wide smile, feeling pleased with herself and then turns towards Pinoe who was watching them with a raised brow. “Did you see that?” Christen asks with excitement, pointing to the board.

“I did,” Pinoe smiles at Christen, nodding her head. Once the curly haired girl happily skips over to the board to grab her darts, Pinoe gives Kelley a pointed look. 

“What?” Kelley shrugs. 

Pinoe just shakes her head with an eye roll, choosing not to say anything. Especially with Christen present. But she definitely hasn’t missed how much Kelley seems to be flirting with Christen. Or how her hands lingered on her waist a little too long while she was helping her and how closely she was standing to her.

“My turn,” Kelley says with a grin, taking the darts from Christen, ignoring the look that Pinoe is still giving her.

Christen stands behind her, waiting patiently as Kelley lines up her shot. Just as Kelley starts to throw it, she reaches out grabbing Kelley’s sides, making her jump, her dart hitting the wall way above the dart board. 

“What the hell?” Kelley asks, whipping around to face a giggling Christen. Kelley tries really hard to glare at her, but she can’t stop herself from smiling at the giggly girl. “That was low, Pressi,” she says, pointing a finger in her face. “You play dirty,” she says with a smirk. She turns back towards the board ready to take another shot, but then glances behind her at Christen. “Stand over there where I can see you!” She says with a chuckle. 

Christen giggles and raises her hands in the air, taking a few steps away from Kelley. 

Across the room, Tobin hasn’t taken her eyes off of Christen and Kelley, a frown on her face. The girl she had been talking to earlier had joined her at the table, but Tobin isn’t listening to a word she’s saying. She can’t seem to focus on anything except how often Kelley seems to be touching Christen. And how Christen doesn’t seem to mind it. 

And she can’t help but notice that Christen is flirting with her too. 

“Tobin?” The girl asks, leaning over into Tobin’s space, trying to get her attention. She waves a hand in front of Tobin’s face with a frown. 

“What?” Tobin finally asks, shaking her head and focusing back on the girl across from her. 

The girl just smirks at her and runs a finger across Tobin’s forearm. “You aren’t listening to a word that I’m saying,” she says with a knowing look. “Obviously I need to try a little harder to get your attention,” she then adds with a smirk, her finger lightly tickling the inside of Tobin’s wrist. 

Tobin frowns and then gives her an apologetic smile. She really hadn’t meant to be rude. “I’m sorry. I’m just a little distracted,” she admits with a sigh, pulling her arm away from the girl. “I should probably go and check on my friends. We came together and I should probably spend some time with them,” she informs her. Really she just wants to put a stop to whatever is going on between Christen and Kelley. Or at least be able to keep a better eye on it.

The girl just glances back at Tobin’s friends all standing around the dart boards, laughing and having a good time. “They seem to be fine without you,” she frowns, turning her attention back to Tobin. 

“I really should go and spend some time with them,” she insists, giving the girl another apologetic smile. “It was nice talking to you,” she says to be polite. Honestly, she really hadn’t listened to a word the girl said so she’s not sure it was much of a conversation, but she doesn’t want to be even more rude than she already had. She may not care about anything happening with this girl but it doesn’t mean she’s going to be an asshole.

“Okay,” the girl just sighs, letting Tobin leave the table without further argument. 

Tobin walks over to the girls and sees Kelley with her arm around Christen, the two grinning at each other. It makes Tobin frown and she feels her jaw clench as an uncomfortable feeling settles in the pit of her stomach. She clears her throat, subtly trying to get their attention as she approaches. And it works because they both look over at her.

“Toby!” Christen grins in excitement, spotting the girl. 

The smile on Christen’s face makes Tobin forget how upset she’d been just moments ago. Obviously, Christen hadn’t completely forgotten about her. “Hi,” Tobin grins back right before Christen pulls away from Kelley and latches onto Tobin, wrapping her arms around her waist. 

Tobin wraps an arm around Christen’s shoulders, pulling her closer into her, and sending Kelley an almost smug look. She knows that she shouldn’t, because it’s not like Kelley actually did anything. She doesn’t even know that Tobin has any sort of feelings for Christen. And even if she did, it’s not like she and Christen are together. But she still can’t help but feel good that Christen seemed to forget about Kelley as soon as she’d walked up. 

“I’m beating Kelley at darts,” Christen giggles into her neck. 

Kelley laughs out loud and then glares at Christen, putting her hands on her hips. “She was doing terrible until I helped her,” Kelley pouts. “And she’s cheating!” Kelley accuses, narrowing her eyes at the girl. “I’m never helping you again Pressi,” she just about whines, a frown on her face. 

Christen just shakes her head and giggles, looking up at Tobin with a cute smile. “I’m not cheating,” she defends, but Tobin can see the guilty look in her eyes, making her smirk. She’s definitely cheating. 

“Here,” Kelley says, holding out the darts for Christen to take her turn. 

Christen steps up to the line and focuses on her target, her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth. She sways a bit on the line and Tobin hides a smile behind her fist as she watches the girl try so hard to concentrate. She’s too freaking adorable. 

Christen throws one and doesn’t hit anything but with the second she gets a bullseye. She squeals happily and throws her hands up in the air, giving Kelley a smug look. She then turns around and launches herself onto Tobin, giggling happily. 

“Good job,” Tobin tells her with a grin, hugging Christen tight. She glances over at Kelley who sighs dramatically which just makes her laugh and hold Christen tighter. She feels even more proud of Christen after seeing the look of annoyance on Kelley’s face. And maybe she still feels a bit of resentment towards Kelley for how close she’s been with Christen all night. It’s a good sight to see her losing. 

And she knows how petty she is being. But she can’t find herself caring.

“You still have another throw,” Kelley says with an eye roll, but gives Christen an affectionate smile, clearly not too upset that she’s losing to her. 

“Kick her ass,” Tobin tells Christen with a smile, letting her go. She gives the girl a little tap on her butt, which makes Christen giggle and look at her shyly, before walking up to the line to take her last shot. 

She does end up winning, but it had been a pretty close game. Kelley demands a rematch because she claims she’d been going easy on her since she thought she was terrible. She also accuses Christen of hustling her. 

However, Christen is over darts and just wants to go sit back down and relax. Kelley ends up challenging Pinoe to a game and the others head back over to the booths in the corner that they had been occupying earlier. 

Tobin happily guides Christen away from Kelley and over to the booth, sitting down next to her. “So you are good at darts too,” Tobin says, with a smile, shaking her head. “There really isn’t anything that you aren’t good at,” she says with an exasperated sigh. 

Christen giggles and shakes her head. “I could barely hit the board and then Kelley helped me,” she tells her. “She’s a good teacher,” she says with a grin.

Tobin frowns, because she had seen just how good of a teacher Kelley had been. “Sure she is,” Tobin grumbles, with a small eye roll. 

Christen gives her a curious look, but doesn’t say anything or ask her about it. She just gives Tobin a smile and then turns her attention over to Ali and Ashlyn who are sitting across from them.

“You doing okay, Pressi?” Ashlyn asks, giving Christen a smirk. 

Christen grins widely and nods her head. “I’m having fun,” she tells them happily. She sits back in the booth, leaning closely into Tobin who has her arm around the back of the booth, behind Christen. She reaches out and starts playing with the mala beads around Tobin’s neck, grinning happily to herself when she realizes that Tobin is wearing them. 

“I’m getting another beer. Tobs? You want anything?” Ashlyn asks, getting up from the table. 

“No, I’m good,” she replies, shaking her head. 

“I do!” Christen smiles, raising one of her hands up. 

Ashlyn laughs at her and Tobin shakes her head no, giving Ashlyn a firm look. “You got it, Pressi,” Ashlyn replies but then subtly shakes her head at Tobin, letting her know that she won’t actually get her anymore alcohol. They’re all pretty sure she will forget about it in just a few moments. 

“You’re not drinking tonight?” Ali asks her curiously. Tobin doesn’t normally get wasted when they go out, but she does at least have a few beers and maybe a shot or two. 

Tobin shrugs and glances at Christen who is still content, playing with the beads around her neck. “I had a couple earlier,” she tells her. “But, someone has to make sure this one is okay,” she adds with a smirk. 

“You’re so nice,” Christen tells her, looking up at her with a big grin. “Isn’t she so nice?” She asks, turning towards Ali, the grin still plastered on her face. 

Ali snorts and nods her head. “She’s something.” 

“She’s the best,” Christen gushes, wrapping her arms around Tobin’s waist. “Toby’s my favorite,” she grins, cuddling into the girl. 

Ashlyn sits down next to Ali again, witnessing the interaction and just smirks, giving Ali a knowing look. 

Tobin looks away from them and looks down at Christen, putting her arm around Christen’s shoulder. “You’re my favorite too,” she replies softly with a smile. She knows that Ali and Ashlyn are going to have fun with all of this later, but Tobin couldn’t just not reply to her.

Plus, she really is her favorite. 

—-

“I’m sleepy,” Christen says softly, her voice low and a bit slurred as she lays her head down on Tobin’s shoulder. 

Tobin grins down at her and nods her head. “Okay, we can head out if you want,” she assures her. “Let me go close the tab,” she tells her, trying to get up, but Christen hangs onto her tighter, not letting her go. “Chris, I’ve got to pay out if you want to leave,” she says with an amused smile. 

Christen pouts, but lets her arms drop from around Tobin. “Fine,” she grumbles, sitting back up in the booth and letting Tobin go. 

Tobin heads up to the bar and quickly gets the bartender's attention to close her tab out and make sure that they have a tab for Kelley with all of Christen’s drinks on it. She doesn’t mind paying for Christen of course, but it’s what Kelley deserves. 

“Hey, you leaving?” She hears a voice ask, making her look next to her. 

She sees the woman she had been talking to earlier, standing next to her with a frown on her face. “Yeah,” Tobin says a bit awkwardly. “One of my friends got a little too drunk,” she informs her. “I’m just going to make sure that she gets home okay,” she says.

“We can get her back if you want to stay,” Ali suggests from behind her. 

Tobin turns to see Ashlyn, Ali and Christen standing behind them as well. Ashlyn moves next to her at the bar and gets the bartender's attention to close out her and Ali’s tab. 

“We’re leaving too,” Ali tells her. She has her arm around Christen’s shoulders as the girl sways slightly on her feet. 

“It’s okay,” Tobin replies easily. “I don’t mind heading back,” she adds with a shrug. She then turns her attention back to the other woman, that she still can’t remember the name of. “I’m sorry,” she says, trying to look apologetic, even though she really doesn’t feel bad. 

The woman rolls her eyes and scoffs at Tobin. “It’s fine,” she says before turning and walking away from them, obviously a little angry.

Tobin grimaces and then turns back to Ali and Christen and just smirks. “Whoops,” she says with an innocent grin and a small shrug.

Ali rolls her eyes at Tobin’s behavior, but can’t help but feel a little proud that Tobin was going to leave with them and not go home with the girl. Though, Tobin could stand to be a little nicer. 

“Ready?” Tobin asks once Ashlyn finishes paying out. She moves next to Christen and smiles when she pulls away from Ali, and holds onto Tobin instead. 

“Ready,” Ashlyn nods, leading them out of the bar. 

Tobin keeps an arm around Christen’s shoulders, helping her to walk down the sidewalk. She’s not drunk enough to be able to not walk but she’s tired and she’s leaning heavily on Tobin which is making it a bit difficult for both of them to walk in a straight line. Tobin doesn’t really mind though. She just holds her tightly and walks them slowly back to the dorms. 

Ashlyn and Ali don’t seem to mind either as they all casually stroll back, enjoying the nice night and each other’s company.

—-

They get back to the room and Christen sits down on her bed and starts to take her shoes off, but Tobin can see her struggling. She just shakes her head, smiling at the drunk girl and leans down in front of her to help.

Christen leans back on her hands and grins at Tobin as she watches her take her shoes off. “You’re really pretty,” she tells her randomly. 

Tobin is a bit caught off guard by the comment and smirks up at Christen, amused. “Thank you,” she says with a smile. She places Christen’s shoes to the side and then sits down on the bed next to her. “You’re really pretty too,” she says back. 

Before Christen can respond to her, her phone starts ringing which confuses both of them, considering how late it is. Christen clumsily pulls it out of her pocket and grins when she sees that her sister is FaceTiming her. “It’s Tyler!” She says happily. 

Tobin frowns at her, “Maybe you shouldn’t answer that right now,” she says, not really sure if Tyler would be upset that she’s drunk. 

But, Christen doesn’t listen and accepts the call, grinning widely at her older sister, “Hi!” She says happily, a crooked smile on her face. 

“Are you okay?” Tyler asks, looking concerned. “You stopped texting me and then you sent me one with a bunch of misspelled words and I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what you were trying to say,” she explains, and now Tobin understands the call. Christen had been drunk texting her. She’s not really sure when though, because she hadn’t noticed Christen on her phone. She probably would have stopped her if she’d seen it. 

Obviously, she’s a sneaky little drunk.

She laughs at the thought of it though and then realizes that Tyler heard her, because the girl is now looking at her. “Hey, Tobin,” Tyler greets. “Everything okay?” She asks, still worried.

Tobin scoots closer to Christen so that she can fully see Tyler. “Yeah,” Tobin assures her. “Christen may have had a few drinks tonight,” she admits with a wince, hoping that her sister won’t be too upset. 

Thankfully, Tyler just burst out laughing, all of her worries vanishing. “Seriously?” She asks, not quite believing it. 

Tobin grins and nods her head. “Yeah,” she confirms. 

“Isn’t Tobin pretty, Tyler?” Christen asks, just staring at Tobin in awe. 

Tyler can’t stop herself from laughing loudly again. “Yes, she’s very pretty, Chris,” Tyler says with a smirk. “Oh my god, this is amazing,” Tyler says with glee, wishing she were there to witness this in person. 

Tobin can’t help but laugh as well, shaking her head. She’s happy that Tyler doesn’t seem to be mad, however she feels like she should probably end this call before Christen gives Tyler even more fuel to embarrass her with tomorrow. 

“Sorry that we bothered you, Tyler,” Tobin says, with an apologetic look. “I’ll have Christen call you tomorrow,” she assures her. “I’m going to get her to bed,” she adds. 

“Okay,” Tyler nods. “Take care of her, yeah?” She then asks. 

Tobin smiles and gives her a firm nod. “I will, I promise.” 

“Bye, Chris!” Tyler waves at her sister who is still just staring at Tobin and now twirling a piece of Tobin’s hair around her finger. But, she looks over at her older sister when she realizes that Tyler is talking to her, and it’s almost like she’d forgotten she’d even been on the phone with her.

“Bye!” She says gleefully, giving the girl a big grin and a wave.

Tyler just laughs, shaking her head at her little sister and ends the call.

“Alright, let’s get you changed,” Tobin sighs, putting Christen’s phone on the nightstand. 

“Tobin! You can’t watch me change!” Christen gasps, scandalized and then giggles at herself.

Tobin can’t help laugh at her, and shake her head. “I won’t watch,” she assures her even though she’s seen her change in the locker room plenty of times. “I’ll be here if you need help though,” she says, getting up to grab a change of clothes out of Christen’s drawer. 

—-

Tobin finally gets Christen all tucked into her bed and looks up at her, seeing that she has a frown on her face, looking lost in thought. “What’s up, drunky?” Tobin asks with a smile, sitting on the side of the bed. She reaches out and pokes Christen’s pout with her finger. 

Christen swats her hand away and giggles at her. But it doesn’t last long and she lets out a deep sigh, the frown returning. “That girl at the bar was really pretty,” she states and Tobin just furrows her brows, not really sure why Christen is bringing her up. “You could have gone with her,” she then says, looking up at Tobin.

Tobin just sighs and gives Christen a small smile, shaking her head. She can see how sad Christen looks, with her big puppy dog eyes, and her bottom lip jutting out. And even though she’s telling her she should have gone with her, she knows that Christen didn’t really want her to. “I’d rather be here with you,” Tobin tells her honestly, reaching out and brushing some of Christen's hair behind her ear. 

Christen just frowns even deeper. “She was prettier than me.” She says as though it were obvious.

Tobin frowns back at her and shakes her head, moving closer to Christen. “Nobody is prettier than you, Christen,” Tobin tells her, giving her a serious look, wanting her to believe her. And she’s not just telling her that because she wants to cheer her up. She honestly believes it. She has never seen anyone as gorgeous as the girl sitting next to her. 

But, Christen shakes her head again with a pout, her bottom lip quivering a bit, not believing Tobin’s words. “I’m not pretty.”

“Hey come here,” Tobin says with a small smile. She feels bad for Christen, but she also knows she’s just feeling a bit more emotional because of all the alcohol in her system right now. But she also hates to think that Christen really doesn’t know how beautiful she really is. 

It hurts her heart. 

And she definitely wants to bring it up again when Christen is sober.

She sits next to Christen and pulls her into her arms, guiding her head to her chest and holding her close. “You are the prettiest,” Tobin tells her confidently. “I mean it,” she adds seriously, wanting to get her point across.

Christen snuggles into Tobin, burying her face in the girl’s neck. “I’m sleepy,” Christen mumbles through a yawn, already over the conversation and moving on. 

Tobin decides to let it go for tonight.

She nods her head and gives Christen a small squeeze. “Get some sleep,” she tells her softly. “I’ll come and check on you in the morning. Make sure you have some Ibuprofen and everything you are going to need for your killer hangover,” she says with a smirk. It’s going to be her first hangover and she knows that it will definitely not be fun for her. 

Christen shakes her head and cuddles into Tobin even more, gripping onto her shirt. “Will you stay with me?” She asks in a small voice. “I don’t feel good,” she mumbles, grimacing a bit. 

Tobin frowns and looks down at her. “Do you feel like you need to throw up?” She asks, pulling away from Christen slightly, ready to help her to the bathroom. 

“I don’t know,” Christen mumbles with a sigh, but makes no move to get up. She just pulls Tobin back into her. “I just want to sleep,” she sighs, her voice so low and mumbled that Tobin barely understands her. “Please stay with me,” she adds with a pout. 

“Okay,” Tobin decides, knowing she doesn’t have the heart to say no to Christen right now. “Can I go and change and then come back?” She asks, not really wanting to sleep in her jeans. 

Christen lets out a dramatic sigh but lets Tobin go. “Fine,” she grumbles, loosening her grip. “Hurry,” she then says in a cute voice, laying down and cuddling her pillow. 

“Okay,” Tobin grins before running across the hallway to change as quickly as she can. 

It only takes her a couple of minutes, but when she returns, Christen is passed out on her bed, hugging her pillow close to her chest. Tobin smiles at her and sits down on the bed beside her. She reaches out and brushes some unruly curls out of her face, watching as she sleeps seemingly peacefully. 

She chews on her lip deciding if she should stay or go back to her room. She’d told Christen that she’d stay with her, but she wasn’t sure if it was a good idea with everything that has happened between them. And now that she is asleep, Tobin figures there’s no point in staying now. It’s not like she will really know. 

With a sigh, she starts to get up off the bed, but she hears Christen start to stir. 

“Toby?” Christen calls out in a sleepy voice. 

Tobin rolls her eyes at the nickname but can’t help thinking that Christen sounds totally adorable and she can’t even be annoyed with her. 

“Where are you going?” She mumbles, looking up at Tobin, her brows furrowed. “You said you’d stay with me,” she pouts, almost sounding like she’s going to start crying. 

Tobin sits back down on the bed and immediately reaches out, caressing her cheek to comfort her. “I know,” she nods. “I’m here,” she assures her. “I’m not going anywhere,” she says, before carefully climbing into the bed with Christen and underneath the covers. 

She feels Christen practically drape her entire body over Tobin’s and bury her face into her neck, holding her tightly. Tobin just smiles and wraps her arms snuggly around Christen and closes her eyes. “Night, Toby,” Christen mumbles against her neck. 

“Night Chris,” Tobin grins and places a soft kiss on the top of Christen’s head.

—-

Tobin walks into the coffee shop early the next morning, her eyes still half closed as she makes her order. Thankfully, she hadn’t drank that much last night, especially when she saw that Christen was drinking. But, she’s still tired this morning because they’d gone to bed so late. Plus, she’s not used to getting up this early. 

“Yo, Tobs!” She hears, making her turn towards the voice. She sees Ashlyn, Ali and Pinoe sitting at a table in the coffee shop, waving her over. She gives them a smile and then turns back to the barista, grabbing her order before making her way over to them. 

“Sup?” She asks casually, hovering by the table and not sitting down. 

“I noticed you never came back to the room last night,” Ashlyn says with a smirk. 

“Did you make sure that Christen got to bed okay? You didn’t just leave her for some girl, did you?” Ali asks, almost accusingly. 

Tobin rolls her eyes at them with a sigh. “No,” she says, offended that they would think so little of her. “I stayed with her last night. She wasn’t feeling so great,” she informs them with a small shrug, hoping that they won’t make it too big of a deal. 

“You stayed with Christen last night?” Pinoe asks, her eyes widening a bit. 

Tobin sighs once again. “Yes,” she says matter of fact and then notices the looks that they are giving her. “She asked me to stay,” she shrugs. “She’s never drank before and she wasn’t feeling well.” She explains, not really thinking it should be that big of a deal. She knows that they understand, they’ve all been there before. “I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. It’s not like anything happened,” she then feels the need to assure them.

“Tobin, you really need to be careful,” Ali says in a warning tone. “Do you really think that having sleepovers with her is going to help you guys’ situation?” 

Tobin just scoffs, not really in the mood for them this morning. “We’re friends and I was being a friend.” She says, her voice full of frustration. “I’ve got to go,” she then says, starting to leave. 

It’s then when they notice that she has two coffee’s in her hand. “Back to see Christen?” Ashlyn asks knowingly. 

Tobin doesn’t turn back towards them and just walks out of the coffee shop without giving them another glance. 

And yes, she does go back to Christen’s room. She knows that the girl is going to be pretty hungover today and she wants to help her through it. Hangover’s are never fun, and she knows that Christen has never experienced one before. She just wants to try and help her. Plus, she’s worried about how Christen is going to react to everything or if she’s going to have any regrets. She just doesn’t want her having a panic attack or something again and being alone. 

When she gets back to the room, Christen is still sleeping peacefully, curled up against her pillow now that Tobin had left. She’d stayed wrapped around Tobin all night, barely even moving. 

Tobin had never really cuddled with anyone while she slept before, and she always thought that she’d hate for someone to be on top of her like that while she tried to sleep, but she honestly slept better than she has in a long time. 

And she enjoyed the closeness of Christen’s body and how warm she was. 

She tiptoes into the room and places a bottle of green juice, her cup of coffee and some pain reliever on Christen’s nightstand ready for her when she wakes up. She moves over to the window and closes the blinds, eliminating some of the light, knowing the girl will probably wake up with a headache. 

She then moves back over to the bed and quietly sits down next to Christen, careful not to wake her. It’s a lot later than she knows Christen likes to sleep, but Tobin honestly believes that she needs the rest. It’ll help with her hangover the more sleep she gets.

She pulls her phone out and starts playing a game as she sips on her coffee, content to just sit quietly in Christen’s presence. 

She knows that she could go back to her room or go and do something else to occupy her time. Christen’s an adult and she doesn’t need a babysitter, but Tobin wants to stay. She likes being with Christen, even with the girl asleep. And she will take any excuse she can to spend more time with her. 

It’s an hour later when Christen finally starts to stir. She lets out a groan and buries her face into her pillow. 

Tobin puts her phone down and smiles at the girl. “Hey,” she says softly, reaching out and running her fingers through Christen’s hair. 

Christen jumps a bit at the contact, not realizing that Tobin had been there. She frowns and takes in a deep breath, trying to wake herself up and get her thoughts together. She looks up at Tobin, a bit confused. “What are you doing here?” She asks curiously. 

Tobin frowns a bit, hoping that she hadn’t overstepped by staying. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” she says, a bit hesitant, already regretting staying with Christen. Maybe she should have left. “How are you feeling?” She then asks with a cautious smile. 

Christen huffs and rolls onto her back, staying silent for a few moments, still trying to wake up. “I feel terrible,” she frowns, waking up enough to realize that she should have stayed asleep because right now she feels like she was hit by a truck. “What happened?” She asks with furrowed brows, looking over at Tobin. 

Tobin just grins at her. “You drank a little too much,” Tobin informs her. “You can blame Kelley.”

Christen groans as the memories of last night come flooding back to her. “Oh my god,” she mumbles, covering her face with her hands. “I can’t believe I got drunk,” she says, not believing that she would do such a thing. She’s never felt the urge to get drunk before and she’s still a little surprised at herself. 

“You did,” Tobin nods. “I was a bit surprised myself,” she admits. 

Christen brings her hands away from her face and lets them fall next to her on the bed. “Oh god,” she mumbles with wide eyes, glancing over at Tobin, looking mortified. “I’m so sorry,” she says with a panicked voice. She doesn’t remember everything very clearly, but she does know that she had been a little too touchy with Tobin and probably annoying. 

Tobin chuckles and shakes her head. “You don’t need to apologize for anything,” Tobin assures her. “I’m glad that you had a good time. It was nice to see,” she says with a shrug. “And you are kind of adorable when you are drunk.” She adds with a giggle. 

Christen groans even louder and turns on her side, burying her face in her pillow again. “I’m so embarrassed,” she says quietly. 

Tobin sinks down onto the bed and rolls onto her side, facing Christen with a soft grin. “Don’t be,” she assures her, reaching out to brush some hair out of Christen’s face. “Look at me,” she requests softly. 

Christen shyly peaks one eye open, the rest of her face still buried in her pillow, feeling too embarrassed to fully look at Tobin right now.

It just makes Tobin chuckle softly at her, and she moves her hand down to caress Christen’s cheek. “You never have to be embarrassed with me, Chris,” Tobin tells her softly. “Besides, you got to witness my embarrassing drunk ass, it’s only fair,” she then adds with a laugh. 

Christen giggles and pulls her face away from the pillow with a sigh. She looks across at Tobin with a soft smile, just enjoying the closeness with her. She’s very aware that Tobin’s hand is still on her cheek and how close they’re laying next to each other. 

It just feels so intimate. 

It’s scary, but it’s also making her feel really good. Almost good enough to forget about how shitty she’s feeling right now.

She knows that it’s dangerous though. She shouldn’t be this close to Tobin right now. It’s making her feel things that she knows she shouldn’t be feeling for her.

“I have a headache,” she mumbles, breaking the moment that had built up between them. She rolls over onto her back, making Tobin’s hand fall off of her cheek. 

Tobin just nods and sits up on the bed. She grabs the ibuprofen off the nightstand and hands Christen a few of them along with the green juice that she had picked up. “Take this,” she instructs her. “I also got you some coffee,” she says softly. 

Christen sits up in the bed as well and smiles at her. “You’re amazing,” she sighs, taking the pills. She hands the juice back over to Tobin, switching it out with the coffee. “What time is it?” She asks, realizing that she has no idea how long she’d been asleep. 

“A little after 10,” Tobin informs her. 

Christen’s eyes widen in surprise. She hasn’t slept that long in probably...ever. Even on the weekends she wakes up with the sun for as long as she can remember. She always likes to get up, do some morning yoga and make the most of her day, no matter if it’s the weekend or not. 

“You needed the rest,” Tobin says, reading her thoughts. 

Christen sighs and leans back against the headboard. She knows that it’s true and even if she would have woken up earlier, she probably wouldn’t have gotten anything done. She feels terrible and she would have felt even worse a few hours ago. “I need to get up,” she says with a small frown. Honestly, she doesn’t feel like doing anything, but she knows that she needs to. “I”m never drinking again,” she grumbles.

Tobin chuckles at her. “Everyone says that,” she informs her, with a raised brow. “But, if you don’t want to then don’t,” she shrugs. “I’m glad that you got to have some fun and relax, but drinking doesn’t really seem like your thing,” she says honestly. 

“It’s not,” Christen sighs. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” she frowns. Though, she remembers exactly what she had been thinking. She had been upset seeing Tobin flirting with that girl from the bar. She knows that she can’t start hiding her feelings in alcohol, but at the time it had seemed like a good idea. Plus, she’d just wanted to have some fun and feel normal for once. Like a normal college kid.

“It’s okay,” Tobin shrugs. “It’s college, you deserved to do it at least once,” she tells her. “Come on, go take a shower, it’ll make you feel better. And then we can go and get some greasy pizza or something,” she says with a smile. 

Christen grimaces at the thought of food. 

“You need to eat,” Tobin says, knowingly. 

“Fine,” Christen says with a sigh. She climbs out of the bed and starts gathering up some clothes to take into the bathroom with her. “You don’t have to hang out with me today. I’ll be okay,” she then says, turning back towards Tobin. She doesn’t want her to feel like she has to take care of her when there are probably other things she’d prefer to be doing. 

“I want to hang out with you,” Tobin shrugs. “I mean, unless you don’t want to,” she then frowns. 

Christen just smiles at her. “I want to hang out with you too.” 

“Okay,” Tobin grins back. She leans back against the headboard, pulling her phone back out as she waits for Christen to shower. 

—-

They end up going to get pizza and Christen feels a bit nauseous as she looks at it, but Tobin forces her to eat some. And she’s not going to lie, it definitely makes her feel a bit better. Though, she’s not happy about the fact that she is eating so poorly. She has cheat meals ever so often but she tries really hard not to eat too terribly. Especially right now when she needs to be in the best shape of her life so she can prove herself and move up. 

And it’s not just the food either. Her whole day feels off to be honest. She hadn’t gotten up to do her yoga, she hadn't gotten to do any studying and she ate not one but two large slices of pizza. And it was all because she had chosen to drink last night. It’s definitely not something that she plans on doing again. She can’t afford to have off days like this anymore. 

She is enjoying spending the day with Tobin though. That’s the only good thing to come out of this. She still feels a little embarrassed when she thinks back to her actions from the night before, but Tobin is quick to reassure her every time that she has nothing to worry about.

“Can I ask you a question?” Tobin asks softly, looking across the table at Christen. 

Christen frowns when she notices the mood changing and how serious Tobin seems to be. “Sure,” she says, a bit nervously. 

Tobin bites her lip, not really sure how to bring it up. But it’s something that she feels she should definitely talk about with Christen. “Last night, you kept bringing up that this girl was a lot prettier than you,” Tobin starts carefully. “I assured you that you were the most gorgeous woman that I have ever seen,” Tobin says, giving Christen a sincere smile. “But you got pretty upset and just kept disagreeing,” Tobin frowns. 

Christen clears her throat a bit awkwardly and looks at the cup in front of her, not really wanting to look at Tobin. “I was drunk,” she says simply with a small shrug. “I don’t really know what I was saying,” she then adds with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood. 

Tobin nods her head, but doesn’t smile or let it go. “I don’t know, maybe it’s dumb,” she sighs. “It just felt like more than you being emotional because you were drunk,” she tries to explain, though she doesn’t feel like she’s doing a great job. “You just seemed pretty upset,” she says quietly. 

Christen bites down on her bottom lip and starts picking at the cup in front of her. “Why does it matter?” Christen asks with a frown. 

Tobin shrugs and starts to feel a bit uncomfortable herself. She’s not really sure why she’s making it such a big deal, but it had been to her. Seeing Christen so down on herself and so sad had just been really unsettling. “I don’t know, but it matters to me,” Tobin says seriously. “I just need you to know that you are seriously the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen.” She says with a warm smile. “And I just really don’t like seeing you get so down on yourself,” she admits. 

Christen looks up at Tobin, studying her face, not really sure if she’s being serious or not. It’s hard for her to believe that she’s being honest because nobody has ever complimented her so heavily before. Other than her family of course, but that doesn’t count. “I’m really not,” Christen frowns, looking down again. 

Tobin’s brows furrow as she looks at Christen, not believing that Christen really doesn’t see herself as beautiful. “Chris, you’re joking right?” She asks unsure. But when Christen stays silent, she gets her answer. “That’s insane,” she says with a sigh, leaning back in her chair. “I don’t know how you don’t see it,” she says, unbelievingly. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders a bit awkwardly. “I’ve been told all my life that I wasn’t pretty enough,” she admits. “I mean besides my family,” she adds, looking back up at Tobin. “I was bullied a lot in school for my looks,” she says quietly. “People didn’t like my hair, or my body. They said that I was too scrawny and that I’m disproportionate. And that I have a hunch...they had lots to say,” she explains sadly, not really wanting to go on listing her bad qualities. 

Tobin just stares at Christen, still trying to process all the information. It’s hard for her to believe that anyone would ever not find Christen attractive and it makes her angry that people had been so cruel to her in the past. “Christen,” she says softly, reaching over the table and grabbing one of Christen’s hands. “I am so sorry that that happened to you,” she says firmly. “But I’m not lying to you when I say that I have never met anyone as beautiful as you are. Sometimes it blows my mind how stunning you are,” she says with a light chuckle. 

Christen blushes and looks away from Tobin again. “Thank you,” she says softly, but Tobin can tell that she doesn’t really believe her. 

“I mean it,” Tobin says, squeezing her hand and trying to get her to look back up at her. “Look at me,” she says softly, when Christen doesn’t look up.

Christen keeps her head down, but shyly brings her eyes up, meeting Tobin’s intense gaze. 

“I’ll tell you 100 times a day if I have to,” Tobin says with a soft smile. “I’ll continue to tell you how gorgeous you are until you believe it.” 

Christen just nods her head and gives Tobin a bashful smile, not really knowing what to say to her. She’s a little caught off guard by how seriously Tobin is taking this. She’s never had someone care about her feelings or just about herself in general so much. It’s a little overwhelming. “100 times is a lot,” she says with a small laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little. 

“Well, prepare yourself,” Tobin replies with a grin on her face. 

—-

“Do you want to go to the fields?” Tobin asks once they get back to the dorm rooms. 

They are walking back into Christen’s room and she throws herself on her bed, feeling exhausted. She still doesn’t feel great because of the drinking last night, and all the greasy pizza is making her feel a little lethargic as well. “No,” she mumbles, burying her face in her pillow. 

Tobin smiles at her and sits down next to her. “Getting some exercise and sweating a little will make you feel better,” she tells her. “Plus, I know you like to make sure you take your 200 shots every day,” she adds knowingly. She can tell how tense Christen has been most of the day and she knows it’s because she’s not following her normal routine. And she can’t go back in time and change anything so the least she can do is try and get some sort of normalcy back into her life. 

Christen sighs again and snuggles into her pillow more. “I don’t want to,” she whines. “My head hurts and I’m so tired,” she mumbles. 

Tobin takes some more ibuprofen out of the bottle and grabs some water from Chrsiten’s mini fridge handing it over to her. “I know,” she tells her gently. “But, I promise, it’ll help. It sounds terrible right now, but you’ll feel better afterwards,” she tries to convince her. “Now come on,” Tobin says with finality getting up and grabbing some cleats for Christen. 

“Why are you being so mean to me?” Christen whines, pulling the covers up over her body. 

Tobin laughs loudly and sits back down on the bed. “I’m not being mean to you,” she says with a grin. She pulls the blankets away from Chrisen’s face just to see the girl pouting at her. It just makes Tobin grin wider. “You’re adorable,” she can’t stop herself from saying. 

Christen blushes a deep shade of red and pulls the covers back over her head. 

“Don’t make me drag you out of bed,” Tobin warns, reaching out and poking at Christen’s side. The girl squirms from under the covers and Tobin hears her giggle. 

Tobin smiles evilly and gets up on her knees, leaning over Christen. She reaches out and starts tickling Christen’s sides from over the blanket, making Christen shriek. 

She starts laughing uncontrollably trying to get away from Tobin, but it’s proven useless. “Stop!” She squeals, pushing the covers away from her and trying to swat Tobin away as well. “Tobin!” She shrieks through her laughter and Tobin just tickles her even more. 

Alex walks into the room just seconds later, and raises a brow at the scene before her. “What are you guys doing?” She asks, slightly amused. 

Tobin pulls away from Christen so quickly that she falls off of the bed, landing on her butt. 

Christen’s laughter dies down, but she’s still smiling and looks over the bed at Tobin. “Are you okay?” She asks, not being able to hold in a giggle. 

“Fine,” Tobin grumbles, picking herself up and rubbing her ass. She looks up at Alex and clears her throat a bit awkwardly. “Sup,” she greets with a small head nod. 

Alex just smirks and walks over to her bed, sitting down and taking her shoes off. “What are you guys doing?” She asks again, highly amused at the scene and even more so now that Tobin seems to be so awkward. She’s not really sure why, but Tobin is acting like she’d been caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to be doing. 

“We’re about to go to the fields,” Tobin replies and hears Christen groan. “This one is a little hungover,” she adds, smiling again. She sits down next to Christen who is still trying to catch her breath from all the laughing and tickling. 

“Oh yeah, I heard you got a little drunk last night,” Alex says with a smirk. She’d been at the bar with them but her and Allie had spent most of the night across the room playing pool with Servando and a few of his friends. She hadn’t gotten to witness the drunk girl. 

Christen turns red, feeling a little embarrassed. Especially considering the girl’s had obviously been talking about her. 

“Kelley said she had fun with you,” Alex tells her, and now Christen knows where she’d heard it. 

“Yeah well, Kelley is the one who got her drunk,” Tobin grumbles, a glare on her face.

Alex, furrows her brows and looks over at Tobin. “I think that Christen is a grown woman,” Alex says, not really sure why Tobin seems so upset with Kelley. “Why does it matter, anyway? We all drink sometimes, it’s not a big deal,” she says with a shrug and then heads over to her dresser to grab some more comfortable clothes to change into. 

Tobin doesn’t respond to her and just turns her attention back to Christen who is still lying in her bed. “Come on,” she says, pulling the covers off of her again. “Don’t make me tickle you again,” she warns with a smirk. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she sits up. “Fine,” she sighs, slowly getting off of her bed. 

“I’m going to go and change and grab my stuff,” Tobin tells her. “Be ready when I come back,” she tells her heading for the door. “Don’t get back in that bed!” She then adds when she catches Christen sitting back down. 

Christen just scrunches her face up at her making Tobin laugh as she leaves the room. 

With a sigh, Christen decides to actually get her things together. She decides just to keep on the leggings and hoodie that she’s wearing and just grabs her backpack, putting a water bottle in it and her boots. She goes over a mental checklist in her head to make sure she won’t need anything else. But pretty much everything they’ll need will already be the fields. 

She then realizes that she hasn’t taken her anxiety medication today because she’d been so off schedule and so occupied by Tobin. She frowns and glances over at Alex who is on her phone, not paying her any attention. She hasn’t told anyone about the medication and she’s pretty sure that Alex hasn’t seen her take it. And she wants to keep it that way. 

Though, she knows that she should really take it right now. If she misses even just one day, it could throw her off balance for a few days. She’s already worried about the timing being off. She normally takes it in the morning. 

She goes over to her desk and grabs it out of her drawer, keeping her back towards Alex as she dumps one into her hand and then swallows it quickly, placing the bottle back in her desk drawer. 

She turns back around and sees Alex looking at her and she gets a bit awkward. “What?” She questions a little more snappy than she had intended. She’s just a little on edge because she doesn’t want to be questioned about it. She’s been doing pretty well, taking it only when Alex was out of the room. She just doesn’t want to have to talk about it or for her teammates to know that she has to take medication. She doesn’t want them thinking she’s weak or something is wrong with her. 

“Nothing,” Alex says, a little confused at how defensive Christen is being. “Are you okay?” She asks, giving the girl a curious look. 

“Fine,” she says then sits back down on her bed, pulling her phone out so she doesn’t have to talk to Alex anymore. She knows that she’s being a little snappy, but she’s also feeling a bit on edge. She’s not used to feeling hungover for one, and two it’s completely thrown off her entire day. She honestly just wants to go to bed and start fresh tomorrow. But she knows that there are still too many hours in the day and she can’t just sleep it away. She has to try and salvage some of her day and try and at least do one productive thing.

Thankfully, Tobin walks in just seconds later, ready to go. 

“You’re actually ready,” Tobin grins. 

Christen rolls her eyes and stands up, putting her backpack on her shoulder. “Let’s get this over with,” she says with a sigh, still not really feeling up to playing soccer right now.

She’s definitely never drinking again. She hates feeling this way. 

—-  
The next morning, Christen feels a lot better. She gets up at her normal time and goes down to the gym to get her morning yoga session in. Ali and Kelley even join her. Christen hadn’t been so sure about it at first, because yoga has always been a thing she likes to do alone. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to relax having other people there with her. 

However, it turned out not to be so bad. She kind of enjoyed teaching them how to do it and seeing them actually try it and seem to enjoy it. And it turned out having other people there to keep her company had surprisingly been just as relaxing as doing it alone. Kelley was a little more talkative than she would prefer, but she’d still managed to relax. And she’s finding herself enjoying being around people more and more. It’s something that she never really thought she would like. 

And sure, she still wants to be able to do her yoga alone sometimes, but she finds that every now and then it may not be so bad to have friends with her. 

After yoga they end up all going to the coffee shop. Ashlyn, Tobin and Pinoe meet up with them as well.

“How was yoga?” Ashlyn asks with a smirk, leaning over and kissing Ali’s cheek as she sits down next to her. 

“It was good,” Ali smiles with a nod. “I really enjoyed it.” 

“Me too,” Kelley says with a grin. “You guys should see how flexible Pressi is,” she then adds with a wink. 

Tobin frowns from her spot next to Christen, but she doesn’t make a comment, because everyone else just laughs at Kelley and she doesn’t want to make it a big deal. Though, she really doesn’t like the flirty look on Kelley’s face as she eyes Christen. And she really doesn’t want to think about Kelley staring at Christen while she’s doing yoga. 

“Maybe, I’ll come next time,” Tobin ends up saying, trying to sound casual. 

Everyone looks at her, a bit surprised, Ashlyn and Pinoe raising a curious brow at her. 

“What? I could be into yoga,” she says, sounding a bit offended. 

Ashlyn and Pinoe laugh loudly at her, making Tobin frown. “I’d pay to see that,” Pinoe says with a smirk. 

Christen puts a gentle hand on Tobin’s knee and gives her a kind smile. “You can come with us if you’d like,” she tells her, noticing how upset Tobin seems to be by all of them making fun of her. 

Tobin gives her a grin in return. 

“Pressi! Are you excited to be going home for Thanksgiving?” Kelley asks, pulling Christen away from her moment with Tobin. “I can’t wait to see the Press pack again,” she says with an excited grin. 

Christen furrows her brows and then turns to Tobin who gives her a guilty look. 

“I may have mentioned it,” she says with an innocent smile. 

Christen sighs and then turns to Kelley. “You really don’t have to come and see my family,” she tells her. “I’m sure you guys have plenty of things planned while you are in LA and spending time with my family will probably be pretty boring,” she tells her. 

Kelley waves a hand at her, brushing the comment off, “Nonsense,” she replies easily. “Your family is awesome,” she smiles. “I can’t wait.” 

“You guys are spending Thanksgiving with Christen?” Ali asks, confused. 

“No, we are going with Alex,” Tobin corrects her. “But, I told Christen’s sister that I would definitely visit them while I’m there,” she informs the girl.

Ali raises a brow at Tobin, and Tobin instantly regrets telling them because she knows that they are going to have a field day with this information. “Her sister, huh? You talk to her sister?” She asks with a smirk. 

Tobin inwardly groans, but tries not to let anything show on her face. Especially not with everyone else there too. “Well, Christen was talking to her and I happened to be there,” she shrugs. “She heard that I would be in LA and she was being nice,” Tobin then adds, trying to make it seem like less of a big deal.

“My family loved Tobin,” Christen says, smiling over at her.

Tobin smiles back at her but doesn’t dare look back over at Ali, because she knows that comment is just making things worse.

“Who doesn’t,” she hears Ali say, and she doesn’t need to look at her to know that she’s wearing a smug look. “I need to get to class,” she then says, deciding to change the subject and let Tobin off the hook. 

“Me too,” Christen agrees, standing up as well. “I’ll see you later,” she says to everyone and then turns and gives Tobin a shy smile. “Bye,” she tells her softly before walking out of the coffee shop with Ali. 

Tobin just watches her leave, a smile on her face. When she turns back to the table, she sees Pinoe and Ashlyn smirking at her. “What?” She mumbles, her face turning bright red. “I should go too,” she then mumbles, standing up from the table, not really up for whatever it is they were probably going to say to her. 

“I’m coming with you,” Kelley says, getting up and leaving with Tobin. 

They get outside and Tobin can’t help herself, “You should really lay off the flirting with Press,” she says, trying not to sound as angry as she actually feels. She doesn’t need to raise any questions. She already has Ashlyn and Ali on her back, she doesn’t need Kelley as well. 

“Why?” Kelley asks, looking at Tobin confused. “It’s harmless,” she says with a shrug. “Why does it matter anyway?” She then asks, giving Tobin a curious look. 

Tobin shrugs, not really thinking this whole conversation through. She’s not really sure what to say now. She’s just really over Kelley flirting with Christen and wasn’t able to keep it in any longer. “I don’t know. She’s just...different, you know? She’s really shy and I don’t know, I don’t want you making her uncomfortable or something,” Tobin says, hoping that it sounds a lot better to Kelley than it does to herself. “I mean are you into her or something?” She can’t stop herself from asking. 

“I don’t know, maybe?” Kelley admits, which kind of surprises Tobin. She obviously has seen Kelley flirting, but she hadn’t really thought that she was actually into Christen. Or she hadn’t let herself think that it was a possibility. 

“Oh,” Tobin says simply, a frown on her face. “Well you know that we aren’t supposed to date teammates,” she informs her. 

Kelley just shrugs. “It’s not an actual rule,” she argues. “It’s just frowned upon.” 

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” Tobin replies simply.

Kelley sighs and then turns to look at Tobin. “Wait, are you into her?” She asks with wide eyes. 

Tobin’s eyes widen as well, “What? No!” She replies a little too quickly. “No, I’m not into her,” she says, a bit more calm, trying to sound as convincing as possible. “Come on, Kelley. You know that I don’t do relationships,” she says, nudging the girl. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Kelley sighs with a smile. “But, good. Because, I may ask her out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading! Also please leave a comment and let me know what you guys thought of the chapter! Also, if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see just let me know! I'm always down for suggestions and inspiration! Also, comments help keep me motivated and in a good mindset to write!
> 
> Also, find me on tumblr for any questions, thoughts or just to chat! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	10. Chapter Ten

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am sorry that this chapter took a little longer than I promised! I'm still working right now and it's been a little hectic. And just everything going on has me a little stressed out which has lead me to having a bit of a hard time focusing enough to write, or at least do it well. I still feel like I rushed this a bit and it's not as good as I planned. Though, I always feel that way so maybe it's still good! 
> 
> Enjoy

Tobin casually rolls down the sidewalk on her longboard, headed for the dorms. She’s whistling some random tune that was stuck in her head and she’s really not sure what it is. She comes to a stop when she sees a figure sitting at one of the picnic tables out front, bundled up in a big coat and a blanket. 

She furrows her brows, not really sure why anyone would be out here right now. She is about to just walk past them, but she realizes that it’s Christen, making her stop. “What are you doing out here?” She asks, confused. It’s a really cold night and she knows that Christen isn’t one for cold weather. She is a Cali girl after all. She’s not really sure why Christen would be sitting outside by choice right now. She looks kind of miserable, all bundled up.

Christen looks up, a bit startled by Tobin’s voice. “Oh, hi,” she smiles when she realizes who it is. She glances down at the textbook in front of her and then back up at Tobin. “Well, Alex has Servando over,” she informs Tobin. “I didn’t want to bother them, but the library is already closed and I figured that it’s too late for me to be drinking coffee and I didn’t really want to loiter in the coffee shop without buying something-

“Chris,” Tobin says with a chuckle, cutting Christen off from her adorable rambling. 

“Sorry,” Christen says with a blush, realizing that she was talking a lot and pretty quickly. “I just needed a quiet place to study,” she shrugs, getting to the point.

Tobin sees her shiver and she just shakes her head, sitting down across from Christen. “Why don’t you just come up to my room?” She asks her. “You can hang out with me,” she adds with a shrug. 

“Well, you weren’t there and neither was Ashlyn and I didn’t want to be in your room without you guys,” she frowns. 

Tobin just shrugs. “I don’t think either of us mind,” she says with a smile. “And you could text me. I’ve just been riding around, not really doing much,” she informs her. “I was at the fields for a bit,” she then adds. 

“It’s not that bad out here,” Christen tries to say, though Tobin can practically see her teeth chattering. 

“Fine, let’s just stay out here,” Tobin says with a smirk, challenging the girl. 

“Fine,” Christen replies stubbornly, looking back down at her book with a frown. 

Tobin just laughs quietly to herself, shaking her head at Christen’s reaction. “Hey, by the way, if you really don’t want us coming over during the break you can say so,” Tobin says, remembering that she had wanted to bring it up with Christen earlier. “You didn’t seem too pleased when you found out that I told Kelley about the invite,” she adds. 

Christen sighs and looks back up at Tobin. “It’s okay, I just didn’t really think you guys would want to,” she shrugs, not wanting the girls to be bored. She’s not really used to entertaining people. She never had friends in school so she never had anyone over. Plus, her family can be kind of embarrassing, and she doesn’t want them scaring off the first friends she’s actually made.

“I don’t think we can be bored with the Press pack,” Tobin smirks. “Besides, a week is a really long time without seeing you,” she says softly. 

Christen smiles at her words, blushing slightly. “Yeah it is,” she agrees. “I’m excited to have you over, and Kelley of course,” she says with a smile. “You can meet my dogs!” She grins, suddenly remembering that fact and getting excited at the thought. 

Tobin smiles and laughs softly at the girl, loving her excitement that she has when it comes to her dogs. Her whole face lights up anytime she talks about them.

Tobin’s grin fades after a moment though and she chews on her bottom lip, watching as Christen goes back to reading over her text book. She’s got something she’d been wanting to bring up with Christen, but doesn’t know how. Or if she really should. But, she’s going to anyway. 

“So um.. speaking of Kelley,” she starts, a bit awkwardly. “Have you spoken to her in the last couple of days?” She asks, trying to sound casual. 

Christen furrows her brows and looks back up at Tobin, “Not really, why?” She asks curiously. 

“Oh, just wondering,” Tobin says simply. 

Christen gives her a confused look, but lets it go and just goes back to studying. 

“Are you into her?” Tobin finally asks, not being able to help herself. 

Christen’s head snaps up quickly, “What?” She asks, confused. 

“Kelley... do you like her?” Tobin asks again. “Because, I think that she has a thing for you,” she informs her. 

Christen looks confused for a moment and then just starts laughing. “I doubt that,” she replies easily, shaking her head and going back to her book. 

“Well she does,” Tobin says matter of fact. “She told me that she was thinking of asking you out,” she informs her. And she knows that she should probably not be telling Christen this, but it’s been killing her ever since Kelley had made the comment. 

Christen looks back up at Tobin, looking a little shocked. “Really?” 

Tobin just nods her head, studying Christen’s features, looking for any clue that Christen may be happy with the idea. But, she’s not really giving much away. “Would you... I mean-... would you be interested?” She asks a bit hesitantly. She needs to know the answer, but she’s not so sure she wants to hear the answer. 

“I don’t know,” Christen says, making Tobin frown. It’s not a yes, but it’s definitely not a solid no either. “Would that be a problem?” Christen then asks, raising a brow at Tobin. 

“What? No!” Tobin answers quickly. “I mean...” she then says, trailing off as she starts to feel a bit uncomfortable. She definitely regrets starting this conversation now. She hadn’t really thought that Christen would turn it around on her. “You can do whatever you’d like,” she says quietly. “I mean, Kelley’s great...she’d probably be a good girlfriend,” she says with a shrug. She doesn’t like the idea, but she’s not going to just talk trash about Kelley when it’s not the truth. She definitely doesn’t have a right to try and stop them from going out if they want to. 

Christen just nods, and now it’s her turn to study Tobin’s face, trying to read her reaction. She’s also not giving her much to go off of. “I should really get back to studying,” Christen says simply, not really wanting to talk about this with Tobin anymore. 

She’s a bit disappointed that Tobin hadn’t told her not to date Kelley, but she supposes that she shouldn’t be surprised. Her and Tobin aren’t ever going to be a thing and she’s painfully aware of that. She just maybe was still holding a little bit of hope. But, maybe it really is time for her to move on.

“Okay,” Tobin sighs, realizing that she has upset Christen. “Hey, I’m sorry,” she apologizes. She knows that she had been a bit out of line with the whole conversation. Honestly, whatever her and Kelley choose to do is none of her business and she shouldn’t have brought it up. “You can still come to my room and hang out if you want?” She asks a bit hopefully. 

Christen just frowns at her, not really sure if she’s up to hanging out with her right now.

Tobin senses that, and she’s even more mad at herself for messing everything up again. “Come on, it’s freezing out here. You don’t even have to talk to me. You can just use my desk to study and I’ll leave you alone,” she promises, trying to convince the girl to go with her. 

“Fine,” Christen agrees, but only because she’s freezing. She has gloves on but she’s starting to not be able to feel her fingers.

Tobin smiles happily and stands up, waiting on Christen to gather up all of her things. She starts to help Christen by grabbing her bag, but the woman gives her a glare and Tobin quickly hands it back over to her with a sheepish smile. “You’ve got it,” she says with an awkward chuckle, waving her hand.

Christen just rolls her eyes and takes the bag back from Tobin, a small smile trying to make its way onto her face. She throws it over her shoulder and follows the girl into the dorms and upstairs to her room. She glances over at her own room and sees the door is still closed so she assumes that Servando is still there. Plus, she hadn't’ seen him come out so she knows that he has to be.

She walks into Tobin’s room and sees that Ashlyn is still not there either. She just heads over to Tobin’s desk and starts pulling out her textbooks and notebook to start studying. 

“Wait, you are really going to study?” Tobin asks with a small frown. 

Christen sighs and turns towards the girl. “Tobin, you said that I could use your desk. I really just need to study,” she informs her. The deal had been that Tobin would leave her alone and let her study, not hang out.

Tobin raises her hands, backing off and nods her head. “Okay,” she says, giving the girl a small smile. She really doesn’t like how tense things seem to be between them again, but she knows that it’s her fault. “I’m going to watch a movie. Just tell me if it’s too loud or anything,” she says, laying on her bed and pulling her laptop out, leaving Christen alone.

And she does really good for the first half hour. She doesn’t make a sound and Christen is a little surprised that she is actually leaving her alone to study. However, it doesn’t last long and she feels Tobin staring at her. She ignores her for a few minutes, though she’s having a hard time concentrating, knowing that she is being watched. She can also hear Tobin sighing loudly, every minute or so, obviously trying to get her attention. 

“Tobin,” she finally says with a huff, the annoyance evident in her voice. 

“What?” Tobin asks, giving her an innocent smile. 

Christen spins around in the chair to face Tobin, her arms folded across her chest. “You know what,” she accuses, narrowing her eyes at the girl, who just shrugs and looks like she has no idea what Christen is talking about. “I’m trying to study,” she frowns. “You said you’d be good.” 

Tobin just sighs dramatically and throws her head against the headboard. “I’m bored,” she pouts. “You study all the time,” she whines. “Come watch a movie with me,” she says, giving Christen her best puppy dog eyes.

Christen glares at Tobin for a few moments, but she falters and lets out a heavy sigh, obviously giving into Tobin. She has some really good puppy dog eyes and Christen finds herself defenseless against them. “Fine,” she grumbles. She closes her text book and walks over to the bed to see Tobin grinning widely at her, obviously happy that she had won. “But we have to watch a scary movie or I’m going to keep studying,” Christen adds with a smirk, not letting Tobin completely win.

“What?” Tobin asks with wide eyes, clearly not expecting this plot twist.

Christen laughs and climbs onto the bed with her, grabbing the laptop and browsing through the horror genre. Tobin just watches her, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. “I’ll protect you,” Christen says, giving her a sweet smile. 

Tobin winces and looks like she’s about to protest, but then sighs. “Fine,” she grumbles, clearly not happy with the ultimatum but taking what she can get. “But you really better protect me from all the scary monsters,” she says, moving to cuddle into Christen’s side. 

Christen giggles as she hits play and then wraps her arms around Tobin.

She hears Servando leave the room across the hall about 15 minutes into the movie. She sees Tobin glance up at her to see if she’s going to go back to her room or not, a small pout on her face. Though, she doesn’t say anything or try and convince Christen to stay.

Christen pulls away slightly making Tobin frown, but she doesn’t protest. She knows that she’s already pushing her luck with Christen staying with her and then convincing her to stop studying and watch a movie with her. She’s not going to upset her any further.

However, Christen doesn’t get off the bed. She just curls up to Tobin’s side, switching their positions so that Tobin is the one holding her now. And Tobin is totally okay with this adjustment. She hadn’t been joking when she told Christen to protect her, but honestly she prefers to be the one holding Christen anyway. And just having her there is making the movie a lot less scary.

“Are you doing okay?” Christen asks, and even though Tobin can’t see her face, she knows that she is smirking. 

“Yes,” Tobin says with a small huff. She’s not going to lie, she’s been a little jumpy and trying to hide it throughout the whole movie. She just really hates scary movies. “I have you to protect me,” she says softly, giving Christen a squeeze. 

Christen smiles and wraps her arms tighter around Tobin’s waist, holding her close.

—-

Christen ends up falling asleep during the movie, just like she does almost every time they watch movies together. She doesn’t really watch TV or movies very often, but when she does, she finds it hard to stay awake. Maybe it’s because she’s so used to moving and doing things, by the time she settles down and sits still long enough, her exhaustion just takes over. 

Or maybe it’s just because she feels so relaxed and safe in Tobin’s arms. 

But she’s going to convince herself it’s the first option. 

“Thank you for letting me hang out with you,” Christen says softly as she pulls away from Tobin, rubbing her eyes, still trying to fully wake herself up. She’s not really sure how long she’d actually slept, but it was long enough for their movie to end and for Tobin to change it to some sitcom. 

“Of course,” Tobin says easily. “You can come over anytime,” she tells her, though she’s pretty sure that Christen already knows that. “I love hanging out with you,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen smiles back at her and then gets off the bed. “I should probably go,” she says and then moves over to the desk to start packing up all of her things. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Tobin just watches and gives Christen a small wave. “I’m going to text you if that creepy little girl from the movie shows up in my room later,” she says with a smirk. “I don’t care what time it is.” 

“Deal,” Christen grins, before walking out of the room. She runs into Ashlyn and Pinoe in the hallway, and she gives them a smile. “Hey,” she greets. 

“What’s up?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

“Oh, Servando was over so I was just giving them some space,” she informs the girls. “Me and Tobin watched a movie and I fell asleep,” she says with a small chuckle, realizing that she still probably looks a bit out of it. “I’ll see you guys tomorrow. I’m going to try and get some real sleep,” she tells them. 

“See ya, Pressi,” Pinoe waves.

Ashlyn and Pinoe glance at each other before walking into Tobin and Ashlyn’s room, seeing Tobin sitting on her bed, on her phone. She glances up at them and then back down at her phone. “What?” She asks, annoyed, seeing the looks on their faces and noticing that they’re just staring at her. 

“We ran into Christen in the hallway,” Pinoe says in a sing-song voice. 

Tobin just sighs and shakes her head. “Don’t,” she grumbles, not really wanting to hear anything from them. They’ve still been on her back about her and Christen, and she’s getting pretty tired of it.

“When are you just going to admit that you have it bad for little Pressi?” Ashlyn asks her, sitting down on her bed, facing Tobin’s bed. Pinoe sits down next to her, both just looking at Tobin with smirks on their faces. “I mean, I get it. She’s totally hot,” Ashlyn smirks.

“I don’t have it bad,” Tobin says, her voice full of frustration. “We are just friends,” she tells them once again, sounding like a broken record. “And speaking of, I’m late to go meet up with a girl I met,” she says, climbing off the bed. “See you guys later,” she calls out, leaving the room before they can say anything else to her. 

However, Tobin doesn’t go meet up with a girl. She doesn’t even have any girls right now that she could meet up if she wanted to. She could always go to a bar or something and find someone pretty easily, but she really doesn’t even want to do that. She just wanted to get them off of her back. And if them thinking she is out with some girl does that, then she’ll take it. It doesn’t mean, she actually has to go through with it.

So instead, she heads back to the fields, not really caring how late it already is. She just needs to get some space from her friends and to clear her head a bit. It also gives her a reason to be out, letting them think whatever they want to think. 

And she ends up staying out there way longer than intended and way longer than she is supposed to. When she gets back to the dorms, she realizes that it’s past curfew and the door is going to be locked, leaving her stuck outside. 

She sighs at herself and pulls her phone out, calling Ashlyn to come downstairs and let her in. She figures that Ashlyn will still be awake anyway. Not that it matters because she needs to get inside. And maybe she’s placing blame on other people, but Ashlyn is on of the reasons she’d been out so late.

Once they get upstairs, they see Christen in the hallway headed back to her room, and Tobin gives her a confused look, but smiles, happy to see her. “What are you doing up?” She asks curiously. Christen has a pretty strict bedtime, Tobin has learned, and she hardly ever goes past it. Unless, she’s up studying late for a big test or something.

Christen looks down at the chocolate bar in her hand and quickly hides it behind her back giving the girls a guilty look. “I shouldn’t have slept so long earlier,” she frowns. “I can’t get back to sleep now,” she tells them. “I was kind of hungry so I ran down to the vending machines,” she admits, not trying to hide the candy anymore. 

“Christen Press,” Tobin says in a chastising tone, but a smirk on her lips. “Are you eating chocolate?” 

Christen rolls her eyes and huffs, folding her arms across her chest. “I eat unhealthy sometimes,” she argues, acting annoyed, but she can’t stop herself from smiling at Tobin, knowing that she’s just joking with her. “What are you guys doing?” She then asks curiously. 

“Tobs here, was out with some girl and got herself locked out of the dorms,” Ashlyn says matter of factly. She doesn’t really want to hurt Christen, but she also wants Christen to be aware of the situation, and maybe it’ll help her to not invest all of her time in Tobin. She just wants Christen happy, and she’s not sure that she is going to get that with Tobin. Not with the way Tobin has been acting lately. 

“Oh,” Christen says simply, a frown on her face, clearly hurt at the statement. She glances back at Tobin who looks guilty and then looks back over at Ashlyn, mustering up a smile. “Well, I’m going to go back to my room,” she says quietly, not giving Tobin another look. 

“Seriously, Ash?” Tobin asks, slapping her friend on the shoulder. 

“What?” Ashlyn snaps back. “You said nothing is happening between you guys,” she says matter of fact. “And she deserves to know. You need to stop jerking her around and playing with her emotions,” Ashlyn says sternly. 

Tobin almost wants to tell her that she really wasn’t out with another girl, but she decides against it. She really wants them off her case about Christen and if she admits she hadn’t gone out with a girl, it’ll open a whole other can of worms and give them more ammunition to use against her.

She glances over at Christen’s closed door and debates on going to talk to her, but decides against that as well. So instead, she just sighs and grumpily shoves her way past Ashlyn into her own room. 

—-

The next day, Tobin realizes that Christen is avoiding her again. It hurts her heart and she feels terrible that she hurt Christen again, without even trying to. She knows that she should have said something last night and told the truth, but she just couldn’t bring herself to in front of Ashlyn.

So instead, she made the dumb choice to hurt Christen. 

Again. 

Which is exactly why she doesn’t need to even entertain the thought of being with Christen. She keeps hurting her without trying when they aren’t even together. She can’t imagine the damage she could do if she really was dating her. She’s obviously not good at relationships and she knows that Christen deserves way better than her. 

However, it doesn’t stop her from wanting to make things right with Christen again. She can’t stand the girl being upset with her and not speaking to her. 

So after practice, Tobin catches up to Christen when she sees her heading back to the dorms. She hadn’t spoken to her all through practice and had barely even looked at her. And when Tobin had tried to talk to her in the locker room, Christen had just packed up her things and practically ran out.

“Hey,” Tobin says, slightly out of breath because she’d had to jog to catch up to Christen, who was walking pretty quickly. 

“Hi,” Christen greets back simply, not looking over at Tobin. 

Tobin sighs and reaches out for Christen’s arm, stopping her from walking and turns her towards her. “Christen, last night-

“Tobin,” Christen cuts her off before she can continue. “You don’t have to say anything,” she tells her, really not wanting to talk about it. She knows that Tobin is going to do what she wants and be with other girls. It’s just something that she is still trying to get used to. 

“No.” Tobin says firmly, making Christen furrow her brows at her. “I wasn’t with a girl,” she tells her honestly. “I was just at the fields. Alone,” she says emphasizing the alone part. 

Christen looks at her a bit skeptical but when she sees the serious look on Tobin’s face, she believes her. A look of relief shows on her face at the information, but she doesn’t let it show for very long. She just shrugs her shoulders and makes her face stoic again. “It wouldn’t matter if you were,” she shrugs. “You can do what you want, Tobin,” she says matter of fact, turning to head back to the dorms, but Tobin stops her again.

“I know,” Tobin nods. “I just-...I wanted to clear that up,” she says, bringing her arm up to rub the back of her neck awkwardly. It’s something she’s always done when she feels uncomfortable. Which didn’t used to be very often, but she finds herself doing it a lot more recently. And it’s not Christen’s fault, but it’s because she keeps getting herself into these situations with the girl. 

“Okay,” Christen says simply before she starts to walk towards the dorms again. 

Tobin watches her for a second and then starts jogging to catch up with her again, not really wanting to just leave it at that. And she can tell that Christen is still a little upset. She just needs to know that they are okay. “Hey do you want to hang out or something?” Tobin asks her a bit hopefully, though she knows that it’s probably a stupid question right now.

But, before Christen can respond to her, Kelley is catching up to the two of them, a grin on her face. “What’s up, guys?” She asks casually, not sensing the tension between them.

“Just headed back to my room,” Christen says simply, giving Tobin a look, letting her know she’s not planning on hanging out with her. She then turns her attention back over to Kelley, giving her a small smile, not wanting her to think anything is wrong.

“Cool,” Kelley nods. “Could I maybe talk to you for a minute?” She asks, the smile still on her face. 

Tobin frowns and feels her heart start beating a little faster in her chest because she knows what Kelley wants to talk to her about. She looks over at Christen and then back to Kelley, trying not to show the panic on her face. She’s hoping that Christen will turn Kelley down, but she’s really not sure. A part of her thinks that Christen may want to, especially after last night. And she supposes that she should, because it’s not like the two of them should be together anyway. She just doesn’t want her to. The thought of them together, makes her heart ache.

“Sure,” Christen nods. “I’ll see you later?” She says, turning her attention back to Tobin. 

Tobin shakes her head, pulling herself from her thoughts. “Oh, yeah,” she says with a small smile. She looks back over at Kelley and then adjusts the SnapBack on her head, feeling a bit awkward. “I guess, I’ll leave you guys to...whatever,” she says slowly, before leaving them alone. She almost wants to be petty and refuse to leave so that they can’t talk, but she knows she can’t do that. And if they are going to go out, she can’t stop it forever. Plus, she just wants Christen to be happy and she knows that she can’t give that to her, herself.

Kelley guides Christen over to one of the picnic tables outside of the dorm rooms and sits down across from her. She gives the girl a smile when they get situated and opens her mouth to speak, but Christen beats her to it. 

“I can’t go out with you,” Christen blurts out. She then widens her eyes and looks a bit bashful at the outburst. She’s embarrassed because Kelley hasn’t even asked her yet, but she knows where this is going and she didn’t really want to wait until Kelley made a whole speech or anything. She just couldn’t help herself. 

Kelley’s eyes widen and then she looks at Christen a bit confused. “What are you talking about?” She asks, looking a bit amused. 

Christen blushes and chews on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry,” she frowns. “It’s just that Tobin told me you were going to ask me out and you’re great... I really enjoy having you as a friend, but I just...I don’t think we should date. I mean, I don’t really think I should date anyone right now, but I definitely don’t think I should date a teammate and- 

“Christen,” Kelley says, stopping her from rambling. “I’m not asking you out,” she says, raising a brow at the girl. 

“Oh,” Christen says quietly, feeling even more embarrassed. She sits back, putting her hands in her lap and bows her head bashfully. She’s not really sure what to say now. Had Tobin lied to her? Or maybe she’d just misunderstood Kelley. She definitely should not have assumed anything.

Kelley grins and reaches out, nudging the girl so that she looks up at her. “So, Tobin told you this huh?” She asks with a smirk. 

Christen nods her head, chewing on her lip nervously. “Yeah, I’m sorry. I guess she misunderstood something or...I don’t know,” she says quietly. 

“She didn’t misunderstand anything,” Kelley says honestly, which just confuses Christen. “I did tell her that I was going to ask you, or that I was thinking about it,” she admits. “But, it’s obvious that you and Tobin like each other.” She says matter of fact. “I wouldn’t do that to Tobin,” she says softly, a small smile on her face. 

Christen just frowns and shakes her head. “Tobin doesn’t want to be with me,” she tells her honestly, a small pout on her face, feeling a bit sorry for herself.

Kelley gives her a sympathetic smile and reaches over grabbing one of Christen’s hands. “She likes you so much,” she informs her. “I’ve never seen Tobin act this way with a girl, ever,” she says, emphasizing the ever, trying to get Christen to believe her. “You should have seen the look on her face when I said that I was going to ask you out,” she adds, throwing her head back in laughter. “Oh my god, it was priceless. I thought for a minute she was going to punch me,” she says with a grin. 

Christen is a little surprised by that information, but she doesn’t say anything. Her and Tobin have talked and Tobin has made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want to date her. She’d even said it was okay if she wanted to go out with Kelley. 

“Tobin is just a stubborn idiot,” she says, but has a fond smile on her face, and Christen knows that she isn’t really being mean. “She has convinced herself that being single is better for her and she’s having a hard time admitting that it may not be working out for her anymore and that she might actually want a relationship.” She tells her. “I think Tobin may be a little afraid of the whole commitment thing too,” she adds with a shrug. “But, she will get her head out of her ass eventually. You guys like each other so much and you’d be good together,” she says honestly. 

“I don’t know about that,” Christen says with a sigh. “It’s hard to really know what she wants,” Christen admits. 

Kelley nods and gives her another sympathetic smile. “Well, maybe some jealousy is what she needs,” she adds with a wink. “I’ve been having a blast watching how angry she gets when I flirt with you, even though she thinks that she is hiding it,” Kelley admits with a laugh. 

Christen’s eyes widen at that. “You’ve been flirting with me to make Tobin mad?” She asks, confused. 

“Not at first,” Kelley admits. “Don’t get me wrong, if Tobin weren’t so into you, I’d definitely ask you out. You’re smart and kind and don’t forget gorgeous,” she says with a wink. “You’re a dream girl, Pretty Pressi,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen just blushes and looks away from Kelley, a shy smile on her face. She still has a hard time believing the same words that Tobin is constantly telling her.

“Anyway, once I saw how much it upset Tobin, I kind of couldn’t stop. She thinks she’s so sly with her feelings for you and that nobody knows, but it’s so obvious,” she says with a small eye roll. “I just wanted to mess with her a bit,” she shrugs. “Though, I kind of just like flirting with you too,” she adds with a smirk. “I’m sorry if I upset you or made you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” Christen assures her. “And I’m sorry for being weird with you. I just was kind of shocked when Tobin told me, and I didn’t want to upset you or make things weird between us,” she explains. “You’re pretty great too,” she says with a smile. 

Kelley puts a hand to her heart and lets out a dramatic sigh. “Curse Tobin for getting to you first,” she says, making Christen giggle and shake her head at the girl’s antics. “But really, if you want to make her jealous, we can totally tell her that you said yes,” she says, wiggling her eyebrows. “Maybe some jealousy will make her get her head out of her ass,” she suggests. 

Christen considers it for a moment, but shakes her head. “I don’t want to hurt her or play any games,” she says honestly. “If Tobin likes me and wants to be with me then she can come to that realization on her own and tell me, but I’m not going to try and convince her to be with me or anything,” she says softly. 

“She will come around,” Kelley says confidently. “Until then, I just want to enjoy watching her squirm,” she adds with a chuckle. 

Christen laughs at her again, shaking her head. “You’re terrible,” she says with a smirk. 

Kelley just gives her an evil grin in response. 

“Hey, whatever happened to that girl you met at the bar a couple of weeks ago?” Christen asks curiously. She had been so excited to get her number and plan a date with the girl, but Christen hasn't’ heard anything since. 

Kelley frowns in response. “We went out once,” she replies with a soft sigh. “She kind of ghosted me after that,” she admits with a shrug, trying to play it off like she doesn’t really care. 

Christen knows better though. “That’s awful. I’m sorry,” she says sympathetically, reaching out to grab one of Kelley’s hands. “You really are great, Kelley. And you deserve someone amazing,” she tells her with a kind smile. “And, I’m sorry it can’t be me,” she adds apologetically. 

“It’ll happen eventually,” she shrugs. “I’m holding out for Alex,” she says with a wink. 

Christen’s eyes widen in surprise, but then laughs when she notices the playful look on Kelley’s face. She’s not really sure if she’s joking or not, but she decides not to open that can of worms right now. “I’m going to head inside, it’s kind of cold out here,” Christen says, standing up from the table. 

Kelley nods and stands up as well. “Yeah, you should probably go and check on Tobin. I’m pretty sure she’s just pacing her room right now, anxiously waiting on us to get back,” she says with a smirk. “I’m pretty sure it’s killing her to know what is happening between us.” She says as the two start to head inside. “But maybe we should make her wait just a bit longer,” she says with a mischievous grin. 

Christen rolls her eyes at the girl and grabs her hand, “Come on,” she says with a laugh, pulling Kelley to the elevators. 

Once they walk to the rooms, they look into Tobin and Ashlyn’s room and see Tobin pacing in front of the beds, just as Kelley said she would be. Kelley simply smirks at Christen, who in turn pushes her down the hallway towards her own room. 

Once Kelley is out of sight, Christen walks into Tobin’s doorway. “Hey,” she says softly. 

Tobin’s head jerks up at the voice, “Hi,” she says with a soft smile, looking a bit anxious. She bites her lip and rubs at the back of her neck, feeling a bit uncomfortable again. “Did she uh...did she ask you out?” She asks, trying to sound as casual as she can. 

Christen just shakes her head. “Do you really want to know?” Christen asks curiously. 

Tobin gives her a small shrug, looking sad and it breaks Christen’s heart. 

“Nothing is happening between me and Kelley,” she informs her. 

Tobin can’t even hide the look of relief on her face and the way her whole body relaxes like there had been a huge weight lifted off of her. “Oh...okay,” she nods, trying to read Christen’s face, not really sure what exactly happened between the two of them. “I’m sorry?” She says, not sure what to say or if Christen had maybe wanted something to happen.

“Don’t be,” she assures her. “I don’t feel that way about Kelley,” she admits. 

“Oh,” Tobin says, trying to hide the joy she’s really feeling on the inside. “Is Kelley okay?” She then asks, thinking that maybe Christen had turned her down. 

“We’re good,” Christen nods, not giving Tobin anymore than that. “I’ve got to pack my things to go to LA,” she then says, turning to head back to her own dorm room, not saying anything else to Tobin. 

Tobin just lets out a loud sigh of relief and throws herself onto her bed.

—-

Christen is sitting outside of the dorm rooms, her bags next to her and her leg shaking anxiously as she waits for Tyler to get there to pick her up for Thanksgiving break. She hasn’t seen her family in what feels like forever and she couldn’t be more excited. She is also excited to get to go home and sleep in her own bed.

She’s started to really like Portland and she’s made some great friends, but she just really misses LA. No matter where she is, she knows she’s always going to be a Cali girl at heart and it’s always going to be her favorite place. 

Tobin rides up on her longboard after a couple of minutes and Christen smiles at her, happy to get to see her before she leaves. She’d looked into her room before coming downstairs and had been a little disappointed to see that Tobin wasn’t there. 

“Tyler on her way?” Tobin asks, sitting down next to Christen, who nods. “I was afraid that I missed you,” she says with a frown. 

Christen just shakes her head. “I told you what time I was leaving. It’s not my fault you don’t know how to read a clock,” she jokes, an affectionate smile on her face. 

“I know how to read a clock,” Tobin frowns. “I just don’t ever look at one,” she shrugs and Christen chuckles at her, still not understanding how carefree and unstructured she can be. Just the thought, gives Christen anxiety. But, it’s totally Tobin and she finds herself not minding it when it comes to her. “But, I’m here and I wanted to tell you bye, before you leave,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen just nods, smiling back. “I’ll see you in a couple of days,” she replies. “Unless you guys change your mind about coming over,” she then adds with a small frown. She’d been a bit anxious to have them over, but now she feels some disappointment at the thought of them not coming. 

“I’m definitely not changing my mind,” Tobin assures her. “But, I still want to tell you bye. A couple of days is a long time,” she says with a smirk, nudging Christen with her elbow. 

Tyler pulls up just a couple of minutes later, and Christen jumps off the bench with a wide grin. She waves excitedly at Tyler as she parks her car on the curb and climbs out, grinning at her enthusiastic little sister. 

“Hi,” Tyler laughs as Christen runs up and almost tackles her into a hug. She wraps her arms tightly around her sister, just as happy to see her as well. “I missed you,” Tyler says, kissing her sister's cheek. 

“I missed you too,” Christen says, squeezing her sister tightly.

Tyler pulls away and looks over Christen’s shoulder to see Tobin standing there, watching their interaction with a smile on her face. “Hey, Tobin,” she says with a grin. She then moves over and pulls Tobin into a hug, which catches the lanky girl a bit off guard. 

“Hey,” Tobin greets, hugging the girl back, not taking too long to recover from the shock of the hug. “Good to see you again,” she tells her with a sincere smile. 

“You too,” Tyler returns with a grin. She then turns her attention back to her sister who is already putting her suitcases away in the trunk of the car. She just laughs at the eager girl and shakes her head. “We’re leaving so soon? I thought we’d get something to eat or hang out in Portland for the day,” Tyler says with a smirk, giving Tobin a wink. 

Christen turns back and pouts at her. “Oh,” she says, clearly not wanting to, but also wanting to do whatever her sister had planned. She really just wants to get home and see the rest of her family and not to mention her dogs. 

“Don’t tease her,” Tobin says with a chuckle, but feeling bad for Christen. 

Tyler laughs and walks over to her sister putting an arm around her shoulders. “I’m kidding, we can go home,” she assures her. “Mom, Dad and Channing are waiting not so patiently for us,” she informs her. 

“Okay,” Christen smiles. She looks back over at Tobin and then walks over to her. “I’ll see you in a few days?” She asks with a hopeful smile. 

“Yeah,” Tobin nods. “I promised I’d eat dinner with Alex’s family but we will come by the day after, okay?” 

“Okay,” Christen nods. She doesn’t want to have to wait that long to see Tobin, but she knows that the girl already has plans and she can’t mess with them. She’s just happy that she’s agreeing to come over in the first place. 

“I’ll miss you,” Tobin says, pulling Christen into a hug. 

“It’s just a couple of days,” Christen giggles, hugging Tobin back. 

Tobin pulls back and gasps at Christen, looking offended. “You aren’t going to miss me?” She asks, narrowing her eyes at the girl, a playful smile on her lips. 

Christen rolls her eyes with a grin and pulls Tobin into another hug. “I will,” she admits with a sigh. 

They pull away after they hear Tyler clearing her throat loudly from behind them. Christen blushes and glances back at the girl who is just smirking at them. “Bye, Toby,” Christen smiles before walking over to her sister's car and climbing into the passenger seat. 

Tobin waves and watches the car drive away until she can’t see it anymore. She then lets out a heavy sigh and walks back into the dorms. She tries to ignore the fact that she already misses Christen and she literally just saw her a minute ago. It’s just knowing that she’s not right across the hall from her that is unsettling. 

She feels like she’s going a little crazy.

—-

They don’t even make it an hour into the road trip home before Tyler starts asking about Tobin. And Christen knows that she should have expected it, she was just hoping that maybe Tyler would let her off and know that she didn’t want to talk about it. However, she was not so lucky. 

“So are you guys dating, yet?” Tyler asks with a grin, not even saying the girl’s name, but Christen obviously knows who she is talking about. 

Christen sighs and side eyes her sister. “No, Tyler,” she says simply, annoyance evident in her voice.

Tyler lets out her own sigh, glancing over at Christen, “Well it’s not like you ever tell me anything, anymore!” Tyler exclaims, throwing her hands up briefly before letting them land back on the steering wheel. 

“That’s because there is nothing to tell,” Christen shrugs and it’s only a half lie. She hasn’t told Tyler anything about what has been going on between her and Tobin. She doesn’t feel like it’s worth the drama because she knows that her sister will make it more of a big deal than it actually is.

“Absolutely nothing? Because those smiles and that hug didn’t scream nothing,” Tyler replies, giving her sister a knowing look. 

Christen chews on her bottom lip, knowing that Tyler is right. “I like her,” she finds herself admiting with a small shrug, and she winces expecting Tyler to scream or something, but the girl just nods her head.

“Obviously,” she says simply. 

Christen frowns at her, but just turns her head looking out the window again. “But she doesn’t want to be with me,” Christen decides to tell her. 

Tyler furrows her brows and glances over at her little sister. “I don’t know her well, but anyone who looks at you the way she does, definitely doesn’t not want to be with you,” she says honestly. “Have you even talked to her? How do you know?” She asks curiously. 

“We talked about it,” Christen informs her, which surprises Tyler. She expected Christen to just suffer in silence and not ever admit to Tobin how she feels or have the courage to tell her. “We decided it’s better if we are just friends. I mean, we’re teammates and it’s frowned upon, and both of us don’t want the distraction of a relationship,” she explains. 

Tyler just nods her head. “I understand,” she says, this time surprising Christen. “But, if you guys like each other as much as I think you do, you aren’t going to be able to ignore that forever,” she adds, glancing over at Christen.

“Tyler, I really don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Christen says with a sigh, letting her head rest on the passenger side window. 

“Fine,” Tyler concedes with a huff. She’s just happy about the little information she did manage to get out of Christen. They used to tell each other everything, but now it seems like Christen is a closed book. Though, she supposes it’s because Christen has never really liked anyone before and this is all new territory. “Can we talk about how you got drunk?” She then asks with wide eyes and an excited grin. 

Christen looks over at her confused and then her eyes widen. “Oh my god, I called you,” she says, just now remembering. She hadn’t blacked out, but the night had definitely been pretty fuzzy and she found herself slowly remembering bits and pieces of the night. And now that Tyler mentioned it,, everything started coming back to her. 

“Well, I called you, but still,” Tyler laughs. “It was great. I wish that I could have seen it in person,” she admits with a laugh. “But Tobin saved you and ended the call, before it got too interesting.” She assures her, but frowns, obviously not being happy with it.

Christen sighs and makes a mental note to thank Tobin for that later. 

“You just kept staring at Tobin with those little heart eyes and talking about how pretty she is,” Tyler gushes, and Christen groans in embarrassment. “You’ve got it bad,” she tells her with a smirk. 

“I was drunk,” Christen tries to say, though they both know it’s just an excuse and a bad one at that. 

“Don’t worry, she was looking at you with heart eyes just as bad,” she tells her.

Christen blushes at the comment, but can’t help but smile a bit to herself. “Can we just sit in silence the rest of the car ride?” She asks with a sigh. 

Tyler laughs but shakes her head. “No way, it’s way too long for that,” she tells her. “But we can take a break. I have plenty of time to embarrass you,” she concedes, reaching out to turn the radio up. 

Christen sighs and leans back in her seat, getting comfortable. This is definitely going to be a long ride. “Take me back to Portland,” she grumbles.

—-

Christen runs around the house, making sure everything is clean and neat and perfectly in its place. Her mother keeps their house very clean, but Christen is nervous and running around making sure everything is picked up is helping to calm her down slightly. Nothing seems to be shaking her nerves today, but she’s finding little things that help.

Her family just sits around the living room and kitchen, watching her with an amused look on their face. Her mom had told her to relax a bit ago and Christen had almost bit her head off so now they are just letting her do as she pleases without comment. They know how stressed out she is right now and making comments to her isn’t going to help anything. 

She just needs to get some anxious energy out. And they know that once her friends arrive, she’ll calm down a bit.

“You guys remember, no embarrassing stories, okay?” She asks with a worried expression on her face, mainly looking at her father. Though, her older sister is a culprit as well. “And Dad, please don’t try and make them call you big daddy,” she says with a frown. 

He just looks offended, “It’s my name,” he shrugs. 

Christen shakes her head and glares at him. “No, it’s a nickname from when we were kids and it’s embarrassing,” she groans. 

He just laughs and nods his head. “Fine,” he says, knowing any jokes right now will just make her even more anxious. “Mo, you should really just relax,” he then says, and all the other women in the house send him a glare. 

Stacey walks up to her daughter and places her hands on her shoulders guiding her to sit down on the couch. “Everything looks great, sweetheart,” she tells her gently. “Your friends aren’t going to care if the house isn’t pristine, even though it definitely is by now,” she says with a soft smile. “Everything will be okay,” she tells her. “You guys can hang out for a few hours, get caught up and then I’ll have dinner ready,” she says, reminding her of the plan, knowing a bit of structure could help Christen right now.

Christen sighs and lets her body relax as much as she can into the couch. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, knowing she has been a terror the past couple of hours. The past couple of days had gone so smoothly and she was really glad to be home. But today is the day that her friends are supposed to be coming and she’s been a nervous wreck since she woke up. Not even her morning meditation and yoga session had worked. 

“It’s okay,” Stacey assures her, patting her leg gently. 

“No it’s not, you’ve been a bitch,” Tyler says, making Stacey glare at her. 

Christen rolls her eyes at her older sister, glaring at her as well. “Shut up, Tyler,” she groans, not having anything else to say to her. She’s too stressed out to really argue with her. And she knows that Tyler is kind of right. She’d been snappy and unpleasant to be around all morning.

“She just wants to impress her girlfriend,” Channing pipes up with a smirk. 

Christen looks over at her little sister, offended that Channing of all people would betray her. Tyler just laughs loudly and reaches out to high five Channing. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Christen grumbles with a glare. 

“Girls, leave Christen alone,” Stacey says, feeling like her daughters are kids again.

Christen smiles and leans her head over onto her mother's shoulder, happy that at least someone is on her side.

A few seconds later the doorbell rings a couple of times in a row and Christen can’t help but grin, knowing it was probably an over eager Kelley. She chuckles softly when she hears Tobin scolding the girl through the front door, as she approaches. She swings the door open and sees Kelley and Tobin bickering with each other, which makes her giggle at them. 

They realize the door has opened and both stand up straight, turning towards Christen with grins on their faces like they hadn’t just been arguing with each other. “Pretty Pressi!” Kelley grins, pulling Christen into a hug. 

Christen laughs and hugs Kelley back, just as tightly. She then bites her lip looking a bit shyly at Tobin, “Hi,” she says softly. 

“Hi,” Tobin replies grinning widely. She tugs on Christen’s hand, pulling her closer to her and then wraps her arms around Christen’s waist. “I missed you,” she mumbles into the girl’s hair. They had texted almost constantly the past couple of days and even face timed each other once, but Christen is ecstatic to be seeing her in person. 

“I missed you too,” Christen mumbles, nuzzling her face into Tobin’s neck, missing the way that Tobin smells. All of her anxieties just seem to float out of her body when she’s in Tobin’s arms, like nothing matters anymore. She feels safe. 

“You guys missed each other and you’re gross. We get it,” Kelley complains, rolling her eyes at the two girls. “Come on!” She says, pushing past them and walking into the house. “Pressi, you just live right down the street from Alex! What are the odds?” She asks with a smile. “We have been here so many times and had no idea.” 

Christen just chuckles and shrugs her shoulders. “I don’t think I’ve ever run into her,” she says honestly. She knew that Alex was from the same area but she didn’t know exactly how close she was. 

“Well you’ll get to see a lot more of us,” she says, slinging her arm around Tobin’s shoulders and smiling at Christen. 

“I’m okay with that,” Christen smiles. 

“Me too,” Tobin agrees. 

“Hello girls,” Stacey greets as the three of them walk into the living room where the rest of the Press pack is hanging out. “It’s so nice to have you guys over,” she says sincerely. 

“Thank you for having us,” Tobin says a bit shyly. “Sorry if we are interrupting any plans,” she tells them apologetically, knowing it’s the holidays and most families just liked to have family over.

“You girls are welcome over anytime.” Stacey assures her. “I know Christen is happy to see you,” she says, sending her daughter a wink. Honestly, her parents are just happy to see Christen making some friends. It’s all they’ve really wanted for her. Even though she always seemed fine sticking to herself, they knew she had to be a bit lonely. 

“Hello, older and wiser, Pretty Pressi,” Kelley says with a smirk, sitting down next to Tyler at the bar on the kitchen island. 

Tyler shakes her head and grins at the younger girl. “Such a charmer,” she smirks. “What’s up, O’Hara?” She asks with a friendly smile. “And why did you not tell me that you got my little sister drunk?” She then asks, narrowing her eyes at the girl. 

Kelley’s eyes widen and then she looks a bit guilty. “Because I didn’t want you to kill me,” she says with an innocent smile. 

“How would she have told you anyway?” Christen asks, rolling her eyes. She’s really tired of hearing about how she got drunk for the first time. She doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal. Maybe she’d had fun at the time, but it’s not something she wants to do again.

“We text,” Kelley shrugs. “Sometimes, not often” she then adds, when she sees the look that Christen is giving her. 

“You guys text?” Tobin joins in, looking just as confused as Christen. 

“I found her on social media after we hung out at the bar that one night and we talk occasionally,” Kelley shrugs. 

“Why?” Christen asks, still looking confused. 

“I have to keep tabs on you somehow,” Tyler informs her. “You don’t ever tell me anything and Tobin here wouldn’t ever tell me anything that you don’t want to tell me yourself. She’s too loyal,” she says with a smirk.

“Or whipped,” Kelley mumbles, and both her and Tyler start giggling.

Tobin rolls her eyes at the two girls, but doesn’t even try to defend herself against them. She knows that they’re joking, anyway. There is no way she’s whipped. Tobin Heath is never whipped. 

Christen just shakes her head at Tyler and Kelley. “I can’t believe you two,” she says with a sigh. But she’s honestly not that bothered by it. It’s not like she really does anything that she wouldn’t want Tyler to know about. She just doesn’t really like talking about Tobin with her. Especially since there is nothing to say.

She turns to Tobin, ignoring whatever it is Kelley and Tyler start talking about. She’s pretty sure that she will want no part of it. “Did you have a good Thanksgiving?” She asks, the shy smile still on her face. 

“I did,” Tobin smiles back, moving to sit down on the couch with Christen. “What about you?” 

Christen nods her head and then smiles when Morena jumps up onto the couch. “Oh! You haven’t met!” She grins widely. “Khaleesi!” She calls out to the other dog that is across the room lying on her dog bed. The dog happily trots over to them and jumps on the couch as well, licking Christen’s face which makes her giggle. 

Tobin just watches her with a smile and then reaches out to pet Morena on the head. “Hey girls,” she says with a smile. “I’ve heard a lot about you. It’s nice to finally meet you,” she tells them seriously, which makes Christen laugh, happy that Tobin doesn’t make fun of her about how much she loves her dogs.

“This one is Morena and that’s Khaleesi,” she says, pointing to each of them, even though Tobin already knows because she’s seen hundreds of pictures of them. 

“You guys are lucky. Your mommy loves you a lot,” she says with a grin, petting both dogs. They stay close to Christen and look at Tobin a bit skeptical, but allow her to pet them. 

“Can we go to the beach?” Kelley asks from across the room. “We have all of our surf gear in Alex’s car outside,” Kelley says with puppy dog eyes, looking at Christen hopefully. 

“It’s freezing,” Christen replies with a frown. 

Tobin laughs and rolls her eyes at the girl. “It’s in the 60’s, that is hardly freezing,” she tells her with a smile. “And we wear wetsuits. They keep you warm enough,” she explains. 

“Oh okay. I’m down. The girls love going to the beach,” she says with a smile, looking down at her dogs. “Don’t you?” She asks in the baby voice she uses when she talks to her dogs, which just gets them all riled up.

“Awesome,” Kelley says with glee hopping out of the chair. “Tyler?” She asks, looking at Christen’s sister. 

Tyler shakes her head with a smile. “No way,” she says, laughing. “You guys go and have fun. I’ll probably just help mom with dinner in a little while.” She tells them. 

Kelley frowns at her but shrugs her shoulders, not pushing the subject. “Let’s go!” She says excitedly, patting Tobin and Christen on the head and then walking towards the front door. 

Christen just laughs and stands up off the couch. “I’ve got to get some stuff together and I’ll meet you guys outside,” she tells Tobin. 

Tobin just nods and follows Kelley out the front door to get their gear. 

—

Christen is sitting on a big beach towel reading a book with Morena and Khaleesi lying next to her. She’d run around with them for a bit and let them get some energy out while Kelley and Tobin surfed. And honestly, she’d been a little too distracted to play fetch with them, not being able to keep her eyes off of Tobin. Khaleesi and Morena both kept barking and jumping on her, trying to win back her attention. They clearly were not happy that they were having to share her.

She’s never really had any interest in surfing, even though she grew up on the beach. She’s been mildly entertained by it a couple of times when she was younger and would see people out here doing it, but it never caught her attention for long or was anything she ever was entrapped by. 

Watching Tobin surf however, is a different story. She can’t seem to take her eyes off the lanky girl. She’s heard Tobin and Kelley talk about surfing a lot, but she hadn’t realized just how good Tobin is. Not that she knows what qualifies as good, but it definitely seems like Tobin knows what she is doing and she looks damn good doing it. 

She tries really hard to concentrate on her book she had brought with her, but her eyes keep finding Tobin in the water. Even when her and Kelley are just sitting on their boards, talking she can’t help but watch her. She’s just so amazed by her and she’s so happy that she’s here with her at her home. She has her favorite things all together right now and she’s never felt happier or more relaxed. 

She finally manages to concentrate on her book for a few minutes, but gets interrupted when she hears Khaleesi start barking. She looks up to see Tobin headed her way with that wide grin on her face, that makes Christen melt. Tobin puts her board down a few feet in front of Christen and then practically runs the rest of the way over to her.

She throws herself next to Christen on the towel, managing to splash some droplets of water on the curly haired girl. “Tobin!” Christen shouts, but giggles as she pushes Tobin away from her. 

Tobin rolls off the blanket onto the sand and then pouts at Christen for pushing her away. But, she stands back up and pulls her wetsuit off of her body, getting the wet garment away from Christen.

And Christen can’t help but let her eyes linger on Tobin in her bikini, a bit longer than she probably should. Though she doesn’t get to look too long anyway, because Tobin is quickly throwing some joggers and a hoodie on. She sits back down next to Christen and tugs on the blanket that Christen has laying over her lap. 

“Share,” Tobin whines, scooting closer to Christen and tugging a little harder on the blanket. 

Christen just laughs and lets Tobin get under the blanket with her, feeling Tobin’s cold toes against her leg, making her squeal. “It’s not my fault you guys chose to surf in the freezing cold water,” Christen chastises her. 

“It was fun,” Tobin pouts, snuggling up to Christen for some warmth. “I still can’t believe you’ve never surfed and you grew up here,” Tobin says, shaking her head at the girl. 

Christen just shrugs and smiles at Tobin. “You were really good,” she compliments her with a shy smile. 

“Oh you were watching?” Tobin asks with a smirk, nudging the girl. 

“I mean, Kelley was better,” Christen teases. 

Tobin gasps dramatically and shoves Christen, which isn’t a good idea because both dogs start barking at her. Morena even growls a bit, looking at her with what Tobin swears is a glare.

Christen laughs as Tobin puts her hands up in the air, with wide eyes, not expecting the reaction from the dogs. “It’s okay girls,” Christen tells them soothingly, reaching out to pet them. “They’re a little protective of me,” Christen tells her with a proud grin. 

“Good,” Tobin says. Sure, she doesn't like them growling at her because she’d never harm Christen, but she’s happy that they seem to look after Christen and wouldn’t let anyone else hurt her. She reaches out to pet them and smiles when they let her, obviously deciding that she isn’t a threat anymore.

Khaleesi sniffs at her for a minute and then curls up next to her, lying her head in Tobin’s lap. Morena keeps her distance, laying next to Christen, but doesn’t seem to mind Tobin’s presence or her closeness with Christen. “I think they like you,” Christen smiles. 

Tobin just laughs, petting Khaleesi. “As long as I don’t touch you,” she smirks. “They’re great though. Just like their mama,” she smiles, turning to look at Christen. 

“Technically my mom is their mama,” she laughs. 

Tobin just smiles. “Well your mom is pretty great too, so...” she shrugs. 

Kelley comes running up a moment later, splashing Christen with water again just like Tobin had. She just huffs and glares up at Kelley as she wipes the water off of herself. “You guys are the worst,” she grumbles. 

Kelley just laughs and changes her clothes as well before sitting down next to them. “I’m so glad we got to come surfing!” She says excitedly. “I’ve been itching to get out here since the summer.” 

“Probably a smarter time to go surfing,” Christen mumbles, feeling a bit chilly herself even though she wasn’t wet. 

Tobin just laughs and wraps an arm around Christen’s shoulders, rubbing her hand up and down Christen’s arm to try and warm her up a bit. “It’s always a good time to go surfing,” she smiles, and Kelley nods her head enthusiastically in agreement. 

“I’m hungry. Did you bring snacks, Pretty Pressi?” Kelley asks, peeking inside of the bag that Christen had brought with her. 

“There’s a few granola bars in there,” she tells her. “But dinner is probably almost ready if you guys want to start heading back,” she tells them, realizing they’ve been out at the beach for a few hours now. 

“Great!” Kelley shouts, still taking the granola bar as she stands up to gather her things. 

—-

After dinner everyone is gathered around the living room, sipping on some coffee and making small talk. Cody is mostly talking to them about their upcoming championship game and talking strategy with them. Christen just sits back with a smile as she watches how serious they all get about it. She realizes that he’s even been watching the other teams so closely that he can point out their weak spots. It makes her smile, though she’s not surprised because he has always been her number one fan.

But, after a minute Christen gets up from the couch, realizing what time it is and tugs gently on Tobin’s hand. “Come here,” she says softly. 

Tobin looks up at her and nods. She’s not really sure where they are going, but she’s pretty sure she would follow Christen anywhere she wants her to go. She sits her cup of coffee down on the table and stands up, following Christen out the back door onto their backyard deck. She sees Kelley eye them as they leave, but thankfully, she seems too wrapped up in her conversation with Cody to bother following them. “What are we doing?” Tobin asks curiously. 

Christen sits down on one of the couches and tugs on Tobin’s hand again, making her sit down next to her. “This is my favorite thing about LA,” she tells her, and then nods out towards the beach a few yards ahead of them. The sun is starting to set over the water, turning the sky a striking orange and pink color. 

“It’s beautiful,” Tobin comments, amazed at the sight. She’s been to LA numerous times with Kelley and Alex, but she’s never really stopped to enjoy the sunset or pay it much attention, which she instantly regrets. She feels Christen snuggle into her side and she puts her arm around the girl, pulling her closer to her. “It’s our favorite colors, together,” she says with a smile, pointing up at the sky.

Christen nods and lets out a light chuckle, snuggling closer to Tobin. “Pink and orange,” she says softly. “They don’t seem like they would go well together, but they really do,” she comments. 

Tobin just nods, understanding the double meaning, whether Christen had meant it or not. Her and Christen are so different from each other and it doesn’t seem like they would get along so well or go together, but for some reason they do. She just feels some sort of pull towards Christen and no matter how hard she tries to ignore it, it just keeps getting stronger and more obvious. 

“The sunsets here are so beautiful. I love coming out here and watching them. Portland has some pretty good ones too, but nothing compares to this,” Christen tells her. 

Tobin nods and looks out at the scene in front of her for a moment before looking down at Christen, “Yeah, you’re definitely right. Nothing compares,” she says softly, placing a kiss on the top of Christen’s head. 

Christen looks up and smiles softly at Tobin. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she tells her sincerely, giving her a cute grin.

“Me too,” Tobin smiles back, looking at her just as adoringly. “This place is magical,” she comments with a soft sigh. “I wish I grew up here,” she says. 

Christen nods her head, “I am pretty lucky,” she says knowing just how lucky she had been to get to grow up in a place like this. She couldn’t imagine growing up anywhere else. 

She lays her head back on Tobin’s shoulder, and looks out at the ocean, enjoying the view as the two sit in a comfortable silence, just enjoying being with each other. 

“Hey Chris?” Tobin asks, breaking the silence after a few minutes.

“Yeah?” Christen asks without picking her head up. 

“I’m really glad you aren’t going out with Kelley,” she admits softly. 

Christen doesn’t say anything for a minute and Tobin thinks that maybe she’s said the wrong thing again and ruined the moment. But then Christen looks back up at her with a smile on her face. “Yeah...” she says softly, nodding her head. “Me too,” she says, holding eye contact with Tobin, not sure if she should say anymore. But she also can’t find herself looking away from Tobin’s eyes right now either. They’re so brown and soft and Christen feels so many emotions when she looks into Tobin’s eyes. It’s a little overwhelming.

Tobin just looks back into Christen’s green eyes for a moment, feeling all of the things that Christen is feeling as well, and all of the things that she has been trying so hard to avoid herself from feeling. But she can’t avoid it anymore, it’s too consuming, taking over her entire mind, and heart. Her eyes finally break away from Christen’s but, just to glance down at Christen’s lips, making her bite down on her own. “Chris?” She says again, her voice quiet. 

“Yeah?” Christen asks just as quietly. 

Tobin swallows, “I really want to kiss you,” she whispers, her eyes moving back up to meet Christen's looking for any red flags. “Can I?” 

Christen looks just a bit caught off guard and swallows nervously. She glances down at Tobin’s lips and then back up to Tobin’s eyes, slowly nodding her head. “Yeah,” she breathes out, almost as a plea.

Tobin doesn’t need anymore convincing, and she’s leaning in, pressing her lips softly against Christen’s. 

And she’s kissed a lot of women in her life, but nothing has ever compared to kissing Christen. It’s not even about the kiss itself, even though that is great as well. But it’s the feeling that takes over her entire body. She feels a surge of electricity, making her fingertips tingle and her whole body feel like it’s been awakened.

It’s a little scary if she’s being honest, because this just solidifies the feelings that she’s been trying to convince herself that she doesn’t have. There is definitely no denying them anymore. 

She has feelings for Christen Press, very strong feelings. And she’s totally screwed. 

But as she presses her lips harder against Christens, feeling them moving together in sync, she finds that she doesn’t even care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, before everyone gets too excited, I must warn you it is full angst ahead.. whoops... 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! Nice comments are very helpful for me when I'm having a hard time finding the inspiration to write in these hard times. If you have anything you'd like to see in upcoming chapters just let me know! I'm always up for additions and things to consider! Can even just be a small little scene you'd like to see! Or you know just point out something in this chapter you really enjoyed! It always makes my day! 
> 
> As always, find me on tumblr for any questions or just to chat! I'm always up for talking to people! 
> 
> tumblr: dope1723


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! Thank you as always for you guys' kind words! I appreciate you all! 
> 
> I apologize for what is about to happen
> 
> Enjoy...

Christen feels like her whole body is on fire, her lips tingling as they move against Tobin’s. She’s honestly never kissed anyone before and she never knew that it would feel like this. She’s seen plenty of movies that talk about how your first kiss feels or how kissing the right person makes you feel like you are seeing fireworks. She’d never really believed it and figured it was all just made up for television. And maybe, she’s making it all up in her head right now, but she can’t help but feel like they have been right. 

She’s never even really met anyone that she’d been interested in kissing before Tobin. And maybe that has something to do with it as well. She’s developed such deep feelings for this girl and she’s wanted this for so long. For the first time, she’s found herself actually thinking about kissing someone and what it would feel like. But everything she’d built up in her head couldn’t even compare to what it actually feels like to finally kiss Tobin. 

She really does swear that she’s seeing fireworks.

Though she suddenly becomes very aware of the fact that she hasn’t ever kissed anyone and she’s not really sure what she’s doing. It feels good and she’s just following Tobin and what feels right. However, she’s not so sure it’s good for Tobin. Tobin has kissed so many girls and there’s no way that Christen can be any good in comparison. 

She has absolutely no idea what she is doing.

She pulls away from the kiss and blushes, ducking her head down shyly as she tries to catch her breath. The kiss really has left her spinning and feeling a little light headed.

Tobin just smiles back at her and reaches out her hand, caressing Christen’s cheek softly. “Are you okay?” Tobin asks quietly. 

Christen nods her head and then looks up at Tobin with a shy expression on her face. “I’m sorry, if that wasn’t any good,” she says softly, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

Tobin furrows her brows and then gives Christen a comforting smile. “It was amazing, Chris,” she assures her. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now,” she admits quietly. 

Christen bites her lip and nods her head slowly. “I-...” she starts to say but then stops, feeling a bit anxious. “I’ve never kissed anyone before,” she admits, her face turning bright red. She’s 18 years old and knows that maybe that’s kind of lame and she doesn’t want Tobin thinking any less of her. Though, she knows that it’s probably painfully obvious that she’s never been with anyone like this before. 

She’s just never liked anyone like this. Or more so, nobody has ever really liked her like this. 

Tobin just smiles at her, still caressing her cheek with her fingers. “Well, I am honored to be the first,” she says, giving the girl a comforting look. But, Christen is still looking down, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Can I be your second, too?” Tobin then asks with a grin.

Christen looks back up at Tobin and bites down on her lip. A smile slowly spreads across her face and she nods her head.

Tobin doesn’t waste another second, before she’s leaning in, kissing Christen again. 

After a moment she slips her tongue into Christen’s mouth and hears the girl gasp into her mouth. She pulls Christen closer to her, deepening the kiss, her arms wrapping around Christen’s waist.

Christen feels herself getting completely lost in the kiss. She honestly thought she would get really anxious and be completely in her head when she finally ended up kissing Tobin, but it’s completely the opposite. She finds herself not thinking at all and just enjoying the feel of Tobin’s lips against her own and letting her guide her through it. 

She slides her hands around Tobin’s neck and lets her fingers tangle in Tobin’s soft hair, pulling the girl even closer to her. 

“Pressi! Toby!” They hear Kelley’s voice yelling from inside the house. They break apart quickly and Christen almost falls off the couch, backing away from Tobin like she’d been doing something wrong. It’s not that she was, but it’s kind of embarrassing to think about getting caught in this position by Kelley. And she also doesn’t want all the questions she knows would come along with getting caught as well.

She hasn’t even talked to Tobin about what this all means, she definitely doesn’t have answers for Kelley or her family. 

Tobin giggles at her and reaches out, making sure she’s situated on the couch. “You okay?” She asks, noticing the bright blush on Christen’s cheeks. “I don’t think they saw anything,” she assures her quietly, peeking up over the couch. The back doors are open, but you’d have to actually come out onto the deck to be able to see them tucked away on the couch. 

“Guys!” Kelley’s voice says again, and this time they see her appear in the doorway. “We’re playing a game, come on!” She informs them, motioning impatiently at them to get inside. 

Tobin giggles again, looking back at Christen, shaking her head in amusement. “I guess we should go,” she says softly, reaching out and tangling Christen’s fingers with her own. 

Christen nods and gives Tobin a shy smile, looking down at their joined hands. “Yeah, I guess so,” she agrees. “But, I’ll warn you. Game night gets pretty competitive in the Press household,“ she says with a giggle. 

“Just wait until you play with me and Kelley,” Tobin smirks, standing up from the couch, and pulling Christen up with her. 

Christen releases Tobin’s hand once they get to the door because again, she doesn’t want to get questioned by anyone yet. She definitely needs to have a moment to talk to Tobin about everything before she lets on that anything has happened between them. She doesn’t need her sisters and Kelley harassing them with questions. 

They walk in and see everyone sitting around the dining room table, ready to start whatever game it is they have chosen. Christen sits down next to Tyler at the end of the table and Tobin has to sit at the only empty seat left on the other side, in between Kelley and Cody. 

Christen eyes the game sitting in the middle of the table. “Cards Against Humanity?” She asks, her brows furrowing. 

“Yeah!” Kelley says with excitement. 

Christen bites down on her bottom lip and looks over at Tobin who looks amused by the choice. Christen is not really sure that this is a game that she wants to play with her parents though. She’s only ever played it a couple of times and it was with Kelley and her other teammates and she knows how inappropriate a lot of the cards can be. 

“I think we should play something else,” she frowns, looking at both of her parents. 

Cody just grins knowingly at her. “Come on, we’re all adults here,” he tells her. “Kelley brought it with her and I think it’ll be fun!” He informs her. 

Christen still doesn’t look very convinced though. She can only imagine how awkward this is going to get. 

—

It’s Christen’s turn to choose and her face is still red from reading out loud, ‘Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight. You can be __ and I’ll be __.’ Honestly, this had been a terrible idea and she knows that her Dad was right when he said they’re all adults, but that still doesn’t mean she wants to talk about sex and other things with her family. She knows that a lot of families probably play this game together and it shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but she’s still embarrassed. She’s never really been this open with her parents in the past.

Everyone else seems to be enjoying themselves and not feeling any sort of embarrassment, though. Channing had slightly blushed at a few of the cards, but nothing in comparison to Christen. Her dad ended up playing a card about anal sex and she thought she was going to implode right then and there.

“Alright, Pressi, pick your favorite!” Kelley chirps happily. “It’s going to be mine this time,” she says confidently, giving the others a cocky look.

Christen just laughs, and takes in a deep breath, reviewing all of her choices again. She feels her face burning at some of them, but she finally chooses the one that she finds at least somewhat funny and not just completely terrible. 

“Okay, ummm... ‘Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight. You can be, shutting the F up and I’ll be, not having sex,’” she says with an embarrassed giggle.

Kelley slams her fist on the table and groans, because it was not her cards. 

“Mine,” Tobin says with a grin, happily taking the winning cards to add to her pile. 

Tyler shakes her head and rolls her eyes. “You guys are cheating,” she complains, sitting back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest. 

“How are we cheating?” Christen asks, confused. 

Kelley nods her head, agreeing with Tyler. “Yeah, you guys have picked each other on almost every single round,” she points out with a sigh. “Definitely cheating,” she decides. 

Christen glances over at Tobin and blushes at the girl. “We aren’t cheating. How would I even know what her cards are?” She asks, rolling her eyes. “We aren’t even sitting next to each other,” she points out. 

Tobin just shakes her head, looking amused at the interaction, but she doesn’t say anything. She has noticed that they’ve picked each other’s cards on almost every round though. 

Kelley looks between the two of them, still unconvinced. “You guys are signaling each other or something,” she decides, which just makes Tobin laugh, shaking her head at her friend. 

“Maybe they just know each other well,” Stacey chimes in with a motherly smile and a knowing look. “This game is all about picking which card you think the reader will like,” she says with a smile. “Or maybe they’re just connected,” she adds with almost a smug looking grin. 

“Mom,” Christen groans, her face turning red all over again. “It’s just a coincidence,” she sighs, shaking her head. “Can we please keep playing?” She questions, wanting to get the attention off of her and Tobin. Though, she does agree that she’s felt pretty confident in picking the cards that she thinks Tobin would like.

Kelley just smirks as she pushes the used cards into a pile off to the side so they can keep going. “I can totally see Christen banning sex from Tobin because of something dumb she said like that,” she says, referring to the cards that Christen had chosen. 

“Kelley!” Both Tobin and Christen say at the same time. Christen looks absolutely mortified and Tobin just looks annoyed. 

“Not cool dude,” Tobin says, giving her friend a glare. She looks over at Christen who she can tell is getting anxious and looks like she wants to disappear into the chair she’s sitting in. She wishes that she was sitting next to her so she could reach out to her and try and comfort her. 

Tyler laughs though and reaches across the table to give Kelley a high five, which just makes Tobin roll her eyes even harder. 

Cody actually looks uncomfortable for the first time tonight and Tobin suddenly becomes very aware she’s sitting next to the large man. “Uh...” she says awkwardly, giving him a glance. “We aren’t-.... we aren’t together like that,” she tells him, hoping to ease his mind a bit. “We haven’t had-....I’m just going to stop talking,” Tobin finally says, swallowing hard. 

Stacey gives her an encouraging smile, trying to ease Tobin’s uncomfortableness. 

Cody just clears his throat and nods his head, not looking at Tobin or his daughter. He knows that she is an adult and she’s going to have relationships and she’s going to have sex, but he doesn’t really want to think about it. And honestly this is the first time he’s ever had to think about it with Christen. His other daughters have had lots of boyfriends, but Christen had never really dated in the past. “That’s uh...that’s good,” he nods, awkwardly. 

“Oh god,” Christen groans, hiding her face in her hands, as her sisters and Kelley just laugh, finding the entire thing amusing. 

Tobin looks over at Christen and can practically see her shaking and can tell how tense her body is as she starts to get worked up over everything. She stands up from her chair and walks over to Christen putting a comforting hand on her shoulder, not being able to just watch her from afar any longer. “Hey, it’s okay,” she tells her soothingly, rubbing her hand down Christen’s arm in a comforting way.

“I don’t want to play anymore,” Christen says quietly with a frown on her face. Honestly, she hadn’t wanted to play in the first place. Maybe some people don’t have a problem talking about sex and other uncomfortable subjects in front of their family, but she doesn’t like it. It’s just embarrassing and it’s making her feel all sorts of anxiety. 

“Aw come on!” Kelley whines. “Me and Tobs are tied right now and I need to beat her!” She says, hoping to change Christen’s mind. 

Tobin puts both of her hands on Christen’s shoulders and starts to lightly massage them, shaking her head at Kelley. “Nah, I’m out too,” she tells her. 

“So you forfeit?” Kelley asks with a grin. 

“Sure, Kelley,” Tobin sighs, not really worried about winning anymore. Normally she is pretty competitive and would rather have her hand cut off then lose to Kelley, but right now all she cares about is that Christen is comfortable. 

“How about we all just hang out in the living room and relax?” Stacey suggests, standing up from the table. She places a gentle hand on Tobin’s arm as she walks by her and gives her a kind smile, thanking her without words, for taking such good care of her daughter. 

Tobin just smiles back at her softly, and nods her head. “Sound good, Chris?” Tobin asks, looking back down at the girl sitting in front of her. She gives Christen’s shoulders a little squeeze and then rubs her hands down her arms, still trying to comfort her.

Christen nods her head slowly and stands up from the table. She looks at Tobin for a moment and then pulls her into a big hug, wrapping her arms tightly around Tobin’s waist. “Thank you,” she mumbles into the girl’s neck. 

Tobin just holds Christen close to her, breathing in the scent of her shampoo as she buries her head in those wild curly locks that she loves so much. “I didn’t do anything,” she says quietly, shrugging slightly as she pulls away from Christen. 

Christen just gives her a smile, knowing better. “Come on,” she tells her, tugging on Tobin’s hand and guiding her into the living room. She sits down on one of the couches and pulls Tobin down next to her. 

Kelley pulls out her phone as she’s putting the game cards back into the box and realizes that she has some texts from Alex. She reads over them and then heads into the living room where everyone else was getting situated. “I’m going to head back to Alex’s. She’s blowing up my phone asking when we are coming back,” she informs them all. 

“Alex could have come,” Tobin grumbles, not ready to leave yet. 

“She wanted to spend as much time with her family as she could,” Kelley shrugs, not seeing what the big deal was. “Are you coming or not?” Kelley asks, slapping the back of Tobin’s head, making the girl turn around and glare at her.

Tobin then chews on her lip and turns her head to look at Christen. “Umm, I guess I don’t really have a choice,” she says though she clearly doesn’t want to leave. She gives Christen an apologetic look and slowly starts to stand up from the couch.

“Tobin, we can take you back later if you want to stay,” Stacey says kindly, from her spot in the arm chair across the room. 

Tobin smiles at her, but then frowns, “I don’t want to trouble you guys,” she says with a small sigh. Of course she wants to stay but she doesn’t want one of them having to drive her back later. 

“It’s no trouble, sweetie,” Stacey assures her. 

Christen reaches out and tugs on Tobin’s hand, making her sit back down next to her and then tangles their fingers together, “Stay,” she requests softly, giving Tobin her best puppy dog eyes.

Tobin looks over at Christen and decides that she couldn’t say no to that face even if she wanted to. “Okay, I’m going to stay,” she assures her with a smile, squeezing Christen’s hand. She then turns to look back at Kelley. “Go ahead, I’ll come back a little later,” she tells her. 

“Okay, have fun,” Kelley grins and gives Tobin a not so subtle wink. She then leans down over Tyler’s shoulder, “Text me if anything good happens,” she whispers, though she doesn’t do a good job because both Tobin and Christen hear her. Tyler chuckles and nods her head at the girl. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes at both of them, “Bye Kelley,” she says loudly, just wanting the girl to leave. She’s pretty sure that Christen has been embarrassed enough for the night. 

“Bye guys! Thank you for dinner,” she says, turning towards Christen’s parents. “I’m sure that I’ll see you all again before we leave,” she says with a smile. 

They all say their goodbye’s and Kelley walks out the front door, making Tobin let out a small sigh of relief. It’s not that she doesn’t love Kelley, but it’ll be nice to not have her making comments at them for the rest of the night, and further making Christen uncomfortable. 

Channing and Tyler start arguing over what movie they are going to watch but Tobin doesn’t really care. She just turns to look at Christen, happy to get to be spending some more time with her. She lets go of Christen’s hand, which makes the girl frown. Tobin just grins at her, finding the reaction adorable. She lifts her arm up and puts it around Christen’s shoulders, pulling the girl closer to her. 

Christen grins, happy with the change and cuddles into Tobin’s side. She doesn’t even really care if her family sees them, she just wants to be close to Tobin. And having her here in her living room, hanging out with her family just gives her even more warm fuzzy feelings inside. She doesn’t think she’s ever felt happier than she does at this moment. 

Well, maybe when she was kissing Tobin, but it’s a close race. 

The sisters finally decide on a movie and start it as Cody turns the lights off and sits in his arm chair next to Stacey. Christen just cuddles closer into Tobin, laying her head on the girl’s shoulder, getting comfortable. 

“Don’t fall asleep,” Tobin whispers into her hair, a smirk on her face. 

Christen rolls her eyes even though Tobin can’t see her. “I won’t,” she says, even though they both know that she always falls asleep during movies. 

Tobin chuckles against her and places a soft kiss on the top of Christen’s head, before letting her own head rest against Christen’s. 

—-

Even though Tobin had been the one teasing Christen about falling asleep during the movie, she ends up falling asleep as well. She was just so warm and cozy against Christen, and they’d had a long day of surfing. She was exhausted and honestly the movie that Channing had ended up picking was a little boring. But, she wasn’t going to complain, she’s just happy to be here with Christen. She’d sit here and just watch paint dry, if it means she can be close to her.

She picks her head up off Christen’s shoulders when she hears movement and can see the lights being turned on even from behind her closed eyes. She opens her eyes and looks down at Christen, not surprised to find her asleep as well. 

“Tobin, you ready for me to take you to Alex’s?” Cody asks quietly, standing up from his chair and stretching out his limbs.

She feels Christen stir against her and her arms wrap tighter around Tobin’s waist. “No,” she mumbles, nuzzling her face into Tobin’s neck. 

Tobin laughs lightly, giving Christen a tight squeeze. “I have to go,” she tells her gently, even though she really doesn’t want to leave either.

Christen lets out a long sigh and slowly lifts her head up off of Tobin’s shoulder, looking up at her with sleepy eyes. “Stay with me,” she tells her more so than asks her. 

It takes everything inside of Tobin not to lean forward and kiss away Christen’s pout, right there in front of Christen’s family. But, she doesn’t. She restrains herself and honestly, she feels pretty proud for the amount of strength that she apparently has. 

“Tobin, you can sleep here if you would like to,” Stacey offers her. “But we don’t mind taking you back to Alex’s either,” she says, giving the girl a choice. “Either way is no problem,” she then adds, already knowing that Tobin will want to do whichever is easier for them. 

“Stay,” Christen pouts, laying her head back on Tobin’s shoulder, cuddling closer to her.

Tobin looks at Christen’s parents, trying to gauge if it’s actually okay with them if she sleeps over. They’re just smiling warmly at her and don’t seem bothered by the invitation or hesitant in the slightest, so she smiles and nods her head. “Okay, I’ll just crash here if that’s okay,” she says, hoping to sound as casual as possible. She doesn't want them to feel concerned about her staying in their daughters room. Though, she’ll sleep on the couch if that is what they’d prefer. 

“Okay,” Cody nods and helps his wife up out of her chair. “Night, kids,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of each of his daughters' heads. He just gives Tobin a warm smile before heading up the stairs with his wife. 

“Come on,” Christen says softly, standing up off the couch. She grabs Tobin’s hand and tugs her up as well. “You can wear some of my clothes,” she tells her softly. 

Tyler grins mischievously at them. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she says with a smirk as the two start to walk out of the living room. Christen just glares at Tyler, choosing not to say anything to her. “Oh, Kelley is going to have a field day with this,” they hear her saying as they head up the stairs. 

“Tyler and Kelley are way too much alike for my liking,” Tobin mumbles, but with a fond smile on her face. 

Christen chuckles and nods her head in agreement. She pulls Tobin into her bedroom and then walks over to her dresser to try and find something comfortable for Tobin to sleep in. 

“Kelley is going to be so jealous that I got to see your bedroom and she didn’t,” Tobin says with a childish grin as she looks around the space. It’s probably one of the most organized bedrooms that she’s ever seen, and it’s just so Christen. 

Christen just laughs and throws a T-shirt and some shorts at her. “Bottom drawer in the bathroom has some unopened toothbrushes for guests,” she tells her. “You can use whatever you’d like and get changed,” she says. “It’s the second door on the right,” she directs her, pointing down the hallway. 

Tobin nods and takes the clothes that Christen handed her and heads for the bathroom to get ready, leaving Christen to change in her bedroom. 

Once they both get everything done and ready for bed, Tobin lingers a bit awkwardly by Christen’s bed as she watches said girl climbing under the covers, getting comfortable. “Are you sure this is okay?” Tobin asks a bit awkwardly. “I can just sleep on the couch or something,” she tells her, not sure if her parents are actually okay with this. It’s not like they have told them that they’re dating, but even Tobin isn’t dumb enough to believe that they don’t sense something is going on between them.

Christen frowns and looks up at Tobin, “We have a guest room if you want,” she informs her, though she’s hoping that Tobin doesn’t actually choose that option. “But, it’s okay to sleep in here with me. They don’t mind and I definitely don't’ mind,” she tells her with a shy smile. 

Tobin doesn’t really need much more convincing before she’s crawling into bed next to Christen. Once she gets settled under the covers, she rolls over onto her side, and smiles at Christen when she sees her roll over, facing her as well. Tobin reaches out and brushes some of Christen’s hair behind her ear. 

Christen looks at her a bit shyly and Tobin can’t help herself from leaning in and placing her lips softly against Christen’s. It’s been too long since she’s felt those lips against her own. It’d been pretty difficult getting through the past few hours in front of Christen’s family without being able to kiss her. 

Christen’s hands come up to tangle in Tobin’s hair and Tobin takes that as a sign to deepen the kiss, her tongue finding its way into Christen’s mouth. 

When she hears Christen moan into her mouth, Tobin just about loses it, but tries to keep things at a slow pace, not wanting to move too fast for Christen. She gently pushes her down onto her back and climbs on top of her, settling herself in between Christen’s legs. 

After a few minutes, Tobin pulls back and looks down at Christen and she’s a little caught off guard at just how beautiful Christen looks. Her lips are swollen and her cheeks are flushed and it drives Tobin wild. She wants to lean back down and just ravish Christen, but she also knows that she needs to check in with her. “Is this okay?” She asks, her breathing coming out in soft pants. 

Christen swallows and just nods her head, not being able to find words at the moment. She’s feeling things that she has never felt before and it’s a little overwhelming. Though, she doesn’t want it to stop. She just wants more. “Yeah,” she finally breathes out, smiling up at Tobin a bit shyly. “It’s very okay,” she tells her honestly. 

Tobin smirks at her, “Just let me know if I do anything that makes you uncomfortable, okay?” She asks, looking Christen in the eyes, wanting her to know that she is serious. “I’ll stop as soon as you tell me to, okay?” 

“Okay,” Christen nods with a grin. She tugs gently on Tobin’s hair and Tobin gets the message, leaning down and kissing Christen passionately again. 

She pulls away slightly after a moment and trails her mouth down Christen’s neck, and feels the girl arch her body up against her. “Tobin,” Christen gasps as she feels Tobin sucking at her pulse point. She pulls harder at Tobin’s hair and lets her head roll to the side, enjoying the feel of Tobin’s lips against her neck.

Tobin can feel the pressure building low in her stomach and she’s starting to have a harder time controlling herself. With a groan, she pulls her mouth away from Christen and buries her face into the girl’s neck. “You drive me crazy,” she tells her, breathing heavily. 

Christen giggles and scratches the back of Tobin’s neck with her short nails. “You kinda drive me crazy too,” she admits with a bashful smile. 

Tobin pulls away and looks down at Christen. “I think we should probably slow down,” she informs her with a reluctant smile. “I won’t be able to stop myself if we keep going,” she admits. And honestly, she isn’t sure if Christen is ready for that, considering she just had her first kiss a few hours ago. And even if she is, Tobin doesn’t really want to do this in her parents house. 

Christen pouts up at Tobin, which just makes the girl giggle at her. 

“Stop,” Tobin complains. “You’re so fucking cute,” she says, leaning down and rubbing her nose against Christen’s. “You’re not helping,” she tells her with a light laugh. 

Christen giggles, “Sorry,” she says, but doesn’t actually look very apologetic. 

“How about we get some sleep?” Tobin suggests, removing herself from Christen and laying down next to her. 

Christen just nods, turning her head to look at Tobin, “Hold me?” She asks in a small voice. 

Tobin grins widely at her and nods her head. “Of course,” she says, turning onto her side and wrapping her arms around Christen. “Night, Chris,” she says softly, placing a kiss on the back of her shoulder. 

“Night, Toby,” Christen says through a yawn, pressing herself closer to Tobin. 

—-

Christen wakes up the next morning and blinks a few times, trying to wake herself up. When she opens her eyes, she sees Tobin sitting up on the edge of her bed and it makes her smile, all the memories of last night coming back to her. 

For a brief moment, she’d thought that maybe it had all been a dream. And it had definitely felt like a dream, but she knows it was real. She’s never woken up feeling this happy before, and she knows that it’s all because of the girl sitting on her bed. She’s been waiting on this moment for so long and she’s so happy that they’ve finally gotten here. 

“Morning,” Christen says softly, not wanting to startle the girl who seems to be lost in thought. She sits up and moves behind Tobin, wrapping her arms around the girl’s waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. 

“Morning,” Tobin says quietly, turning her head to give Christen a soft smile. She places a soft kiss against Christen’s temple and then rests her own forehead against the side of Christen’s head, just enjoying the closeness with her. 

They sit like that for a few moments until Christen pulls away slightly so that she can look at Tobin. “So...,” Christen starts quietly, feeling a bit nervous. She realizes that at this point she really shouldn't’ be feeling nervous, but she still is. She’s never really done this before and so far Tobin has mostly made all the first moves. But she’s been thinking about this since their first kiss yesterday and she really wants to ask her. “I was thinking that when we get back to Portland we could go and have dinner,” she suggests, her voice a little shakey. “Like um...like a date,” she specifies, taking in a deep breath and looking at Tobin a bit anxiously. 

Tobin smiles at her and pulls away completely, turning her body to face Christen. “Chris...” she says with a soft sigh. 

Christen’s smile slowly starts to fade off of her face as she takes in Tobin’s features. Tobin’s face doesn’t exactly make her think that this had been a good idea or that Tobin wants to go on a date with her. “I-....sorry,” Christen mumbles, feeling embarrassed and a little rejected. “I just thought after last night...I thought...” she says but then stops, taking in a shaky breath, feeling very self conscious. “You don’t want to?” She asks in a small voice. 

Tobin sighs again and looks down at her lap, not being able to look at the hurt look on Christen’s face any longer. “I do,” she says, but the look on her face says otherwise. “I just...we’ve talked about this, right?” She asks, hoping that Christen will understand. “I mean, we agreed that it would be best that we don’t get into a relationship, right?” She asks, looking at Christen with pleading eyes, almost begging her to understand. 

She knows that she shouldn’t have kissed Christen last night, but she hadn’t been able to help herself. And honestly, she doesn’t regret it. She regrets it because she knows that she is going to hurt Christen, but she doesn’t regret the kisses themselves. She’d loved every moment, she’d just gotten a little too carried away. And this morning when she woke up before Christen, it had given her a chance to think about everything. 

“Well yeah...” Christen says, her brows furrowing. “But that was before...and you...you kissed me,’ she says, tears starting to form in her eyes. “Why would you kiss me?” She asks, feeling hurt and honestly a little angry. She doesn’t understand why Tobin would kiss her if she knew that she didn’t want to actually be with her. She had to have known how much that kiss was going to mean to Christen. 

Tobin looks down again, not being able to look Christen in the eye. “I couldn’t help myself,” she admits. 

Christen lets out a breathy laugh and shakes her head, not believing that this is happening. “Tobin you have to make up your mind on what you want and stop toying with me,” she tells her, and Tobin doesn’t miss the anger in her voice. 

It’s kind of scary because she’s never actually seen Christen angry. She’s seen her upset and a little mad at herself when she didn’t feel that she did well in a game, but she’s never actually seen her mad. And she really doesn’t want to, especially when it’s aimed at her. Though, she knows that she deserves it. “I’m not trying to toy with you Christen,” she tells her honestly. “I like you so much,” she admits, almost desperately, and Christen just scoffs at her. “I do,” she says more firmly, looking up at Christen, needing her to believe her. 

“Then what?” Christen asks, still feeling angry. “You just want to kiss me and everything else whenever you want and then just go and do whatever the hell you want with other girls too?” She says angrily, surprising even herself a bit. She rarely ever uses curse words. And she rarely ever gets angry with people. She’s just really hurt right now and it’s just kind of coming out.

“No!” Tobin says, raising her voice a bit. “Christen, it’s not about me wanting to be with other girls,” she says, her brows furrowing. “I don’t even want to be with other girls,” she tells her honestly. 

Christen shakes her head, not really believing her. “Then why do you keep pushing me away? Why don’t you want to be with me?” She asks, her voice quietening down again as she starts to feel insecure again. She’s used to people not liking her, but it hurts even more when it’s Tobin.

“I just can’t be in a relationship right now, Christen,” she tells her, looking at her with pleading eyes. “I want you, I do. I don’t want anyone else. I just....I can’t have that distraction right now. I need to focus on football and honestly, I’d just end up hurting you anyway,” she tells her.

Christen laughs again, shaking her head as she wipes some tears from her cheeks. “That is such a terrible excuse, Tobin,” she tells her honestly. “And I am such an idiot,” she says quietly, laughing to herself again, feeling like a complete idiot.

“What? No, you’re not an idiot,” Tobin says, scooting closer to Christen and trying to reach out to her, but Christen pulls her hand away. 

“I knew this whole time that nothing was going to happen between us and I knew that I shouldn’t have let myself develop these feelings for you.” Christen tells her honestly. “But, I was so stupid and I kept telling myself that maybe you’d actually like me too and maybe there was a chance that we could actually be together,” she says, almost talking to herself more than she is to Tobin. “And honestly at the beginning I didn’t want a relationship either, I didn’t want the distraction anymore than you do. But, I couldn’t stop the way that I was feeling and my feelings just kept growing and getting harder to ignore. And then I convinced myself that it wouldn’t be a bad thing and we could make it work. We both love soccer and we are both dedicated and we understand that about each other. I thought that we could do it,” she says softly. “But that was delusional. I should have known from the beginning that you wouldn’t want me like that, that I wouldn’t be enough.” 

“You are enough, Christen,” Tobin, interrupts her, hating that she’s getting so down on herself. She never wanted to make Christen feel this way. And she honestly hates herself more than Christen probably does right now. 

“Obviously I’m not,” Christen whispers, looking back over at Tobin. “Please, just go,” she then says, turning back away from her. 

“Christen, can we please just talk about this more,” Tobin pleads, not wanting to leave things like this. 

Christen shakes her head though, not turning back to look at her. “I don’t think there is anything more that we need to talk about,” she says with defeat in her voice. “Please just go,” she asks again. 

Tobin watches her curl back up in her bed, her back facing away from Tobin. She wants to reach out to her, to comfort her, but she knows she’s only going to make things worse. And she knows that she has no right to try and comfort Christen right now. “I’m sorry, Chris,” she says softly, before getting up and gathering her things. She gives Christen one last look, her heart breaking as she sees Christen’s body shaking with sobs.

She wants to go back and it takes everything inside of her not to, but she knows this is for the best. She’s already hurt Christen enough and she knows that she’d only hurt her more if they keep this up. 

So she walks out of Christen’s room, leaving her alone, tears starting to fall from her own eyes. 

She’s such an idiot and she knows it. But it doesn’t change her mind. If anything, it just further proves to herself that she doesn’t deserve Christen and that this is the right thing to do.

She makes her way down the stairs, hoping not to run into any of Christen’s family on the way out. She’s just going to walk back to Alex’s, considering it’s only a few streets over and she could use the walk to think, anyway. And to try and collect herself before she has to face Kelley and Alex. She doesn’t want them to see her like this. 

However, just as she deserves, the whole Press pack is downstairs spread throughout the kitchen and living room, including Alex and Kelley. 

“Hey! Tobs! How was the sleepover?” Kelley asks with a smirk when she sees her coming down the stairs. 

“Where’s Christen?” Tyler asks, confused. “She never sleeps this late,” she states, glancing over at the clock when she sees that Christen isn’t with Tobin. 

Tobin looks up at them, but tries her best to avoid eye contact, because it’s obvious that she has been crying and she really doesn’t want everyone to see her in this state. “She’s still upstairs,” she says quietly. She then looks to Kelley and Alex who look concerned. “Can we please go?” 

“Stacey invited us for breakfast!” Kelley says with a pout. “And Alex came!” She says with excitement. 

Alex just nudges Kelley and gives her a look, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go,” she says, pulling Kelley off the stool, obviously noticing that something isn’t right with Tobin. 

“I’m really sorry, you guys,” Tobin says in a small voice, looking over at Christen’s family. “Thank you for everything,” she then says, before being walked out the door by Alex and Kelley. 

Tyler and Channing look at each other in concern before jumping up and practically running up the stairs to go and check on their sister. They’d seen the tears in Tobin’s eyes and knew that meant something wasn’t right.

When they get upstairs, they knock softly on Christen’s door, but don’t wait for a response as they carefully push it open, peeking inside. They spot Christen curled up in her bed, clutching a pillow to her chest, her body shaking as tears stream down her face.

“Chris?” Channing asks softly as the two sisters step into the room. “Christen what happened?” She asks, sitting down next to her sister. 

Christen just sniffles and shakes her head, not moving from her spot or looking at them. “Leave me alone,” she finally mumbles, her voice scratchy from the amount that she’d been crying. 

Tyler furrows her brows and reaches out to stroke Christen’s hair softly. “What did Tobin do?” She asks, trying not to sound angry, but she can’t help it. She likes Tobin and she was really rooting for the two of them being together, but she will easily knock her out if she hurts her sister. She really didn’t think that Tobin would ever hurt her though. 

Christen just lets out another sob and buries her face into her pillow. 

“Christen,” Channing says, putting a gentle hand on Christen’s back. “Talk to us,” she requests softly. 

Christen takes in a shaky breath and turns her head just slightly to look up at her sisters. “Tobin kissed me,” she tells them. 

Both of their eyes widen briefly, before they both just look confused. “Is that a bad thing?” Channing asks, trying to understand the situation. 

“Was she that bad of a kisser?” Tyler says with a smirk, making Channing glare at her. “Sorry,” she apologizes, giving her sister a soft smile. “But really, what happened?” She asks, wanting to know what has her sister so upset and why Tobin had run out not looking much better. 

Christen rolls over onto her back and wipes away some of her tears. She’s not really in the mood to get into everything right now, but she also knows that her sisters aren’t going to leave her alone until she tells them. It may also help to talk to them about it. “She kissed last night, and it was....it was amazing,” she says with a sigh, not being able to stop herself from feeling happy, just thinking back to their kisses. “But then this morning...I asked her if she wanted to go on a date, but she told me that we shouldn’t,” Christen informs them, tears starting to fall from her eyes again. “We talked about it before and we both decided that we should just focus on soccer and not get into a relationship because it would be a distraction, plus we are on the same team and it could lead to some drama and complications,” she says, deciding she should basically just tell them everything at this point. 

Tyler and Channing just sit quietly, lightly stroking her hair and rubbing her back as they listen to her open up about everything. They’ve wanted to talk to Christen about Tobin ever since they first visited her in Portland, but Christen has never wanted to talk about it. 

“But then she kissed me and I thought...” she says, but then stops and lets out a heavy sigh, trying to collect her thoughts. She’s still trying to process everything as she tells them what happened. “We’ve been hanging out a lot more and I just....I like her so much.. I don’t care about any of that other stuff anymore and I thought that she had changed her mind too, but....she didn’t,” she says sadly, a new wave of tears falling from her eyes as she takes in a choked breath. 

Tyler and Channing look at each other, having a silent conversation and trying to figure out what to say to their sister and how to comfort her, but neither of them really know what to do. They’ve never seen her like this and it breaks their hearts. They’ve always pushed her to try and make friends and even find someone to date, but they never really thought about the downsides of it. 

“I’m sorry, Chris,” Channing says quietly and sincerely. 

“I just.... she kissed me,” Christen says, her bottom lip quivering. 

“She shouldn’t have,” Tyler says sternly. “She’s leading you on and playing with your emotions. She knew that she didn’t want to get into a relationship and she definitely should not have done that,” Tyler says, her anger growing. She’s pretty sure that Tobin hadn’t purposely hurt her little sister, but it doesn’t make it any better. It doesn’t dismiss the fact that she has hurt her and that what she did was wrong.

“What can we do for you, Chris?” Channing asks softly, not feeling like they should be getting angry at Tobin right now. They need to just focus on their sister and helping to comfort her.

Christen sighs and scoots closer to Channing, laying her head in her lap. “Just stay with me,” she asks softly. 

“Of course,” Tyler tells her. She lies down behind her sister and wraps her arms around her tightly, placing a soft kiss on her shoulder. “We’ve got you, sis,” she says, giving her a squeeze. 

—-

Alex and Kelley both follow behind Tobin as she practically runs into Alex’s house. “Tobin, would you stop?” Alex asks with a huff. They’d been trying to get her to talk to them the whole drive back to Alex’s house, but Tobin had stayed silent, just staring out the window. And when they stopped the car, she had just jumped out and headed for the door without even giving them a glance.

Alex finally reaches out, grabbing Tobin’s arm and forcing her to turn around to look at them. 

“What the hell happened?” Kelley asks, folding her arms across her chest. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Tobin grumbles, yanking her arm away from Alex and spinning around to head up the stairs. 

Alex and Kelley just follow her all the way up the stairs and down the hallway to the guest room that she and Kelley were sharing. Tobin tries shutting the door on them, but they’re too quick and push it open before she can close it all the way. 

“Guys, seriously just leave me alone,” Tobin says, throwing them a glare. She starts pulling Christen’s clothes off of her body, needing to get away from the smell of her. It’s just making her feel even more guilty and more upset with herself. She throws them into a pile and then puts some of her own shorts and T-shirt on from her bag. 

“We’re not leaving you alone. Tell us what happened,” Kelley demands. 

Tobin glares over at them and just starts throwing some things into a backpack. “I fucked up,” she says simply. 

“What does that mean?” Alex asks calmly, still trying to understand what is going on.

Tobin huffs and just starts trying to zip up her backpack but the zipper keeps getting stuck, making her even more frustrated. 

“Tobin!” Alex says sternly, reaching out and placing her hand over Tobin’s, to stop her movements and get her to look at them. “Hey,” she then says softly. “Talk to us.” 

Tobin sighs and finally looks up at her two friends and then just shakes her head, “It doesn’t matter,” she says quietly. 

“It does to us,” Kelley says, stepping closer to Tobin. “What happened with Christen?” She asks gently. 

“I kissed her,” she informs them, though they don’t look super surprised by the information. “And then I fucked it all up because I’m an idiot and an asshole and-

“Tobin, stop,” Alex says firmly. 

Tobin just sighs again and lifts her backpack up throwing it over her shoulder. “She deserves better than me anyway. This is a good thing,” she tries to convince them, and also maybe is trying to convince herself as well. “I’m going to the fields a few blocks away. I just need some space,” she informs them, and then walks out of the room before either of them can try and stop her. 

Kelley sighs and shakes her head as she hears the front door to the house open and close. “God, I just want to slap her sometimes,” she mumbles, turning back to look at Alex. “Maybe I should call Christen and check on her,” she says with a frown, pulling her phone out of her pocket. 

But, Alex puts her hand on her wrist and shakes her head. “She probably needs some space too and she has her sisters,” Alex tells her. And Kelley knows that she’s probably right so she just pockets her phone again. 

“We need to talk some sense into Tobin. Those two are so head over heels for each other it’s crazy,” Kelley says in a frustrated tone. She just doesn’t understand why they can’t figure it out and be together. 

Well, she does know. 

It’s Tobin’s stubborn ass.

“I think we just need to let them work it out,” Alex tells her. “It’s not our business.” 

Kelley sighs, partially agreeing with her. But, the other part of her wants to try and fix everything. She knows that they probably have to just work it out themselves though, no matter how much she wants to get involved. “I don’t think Tobin will ever get her head out of her ass,” she says with a sigh.

“Maybe Christen is better off,” Alex shrugs, knowing how Tobin can be. “I don’t see Tobin ever changing her ways.” 

“I thought she would for Christen,” Kelley sighs, though she’s not sure if she believes it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO there is the angst! Also, this chapter was a bit shorter than the others. But, I reached a good stopping point and I figured that I had kept you guys waiting long enough! I'll make the next chapter longer and hopefully won't make you wait as long for it! 
> 
> Please let me know if you guys are still enjoying the story! A little more angst to come, but I promise they will work their shit out soon! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! 
> 
> This chapter was a little hard for me to write! It's kind of just a filler that needed to happen before we get into some more of the good stuff! But, I got it done and I hope you guys enjoy it!

Christen lets out a heavy sigh as she looks up at the dorm room building in front of her. A part of her really hadn’t wanted to come back after what happened with Tobin. She already has a hard enough time leaving her family, but now it’s even worse because she doesn’t want to have to face her. But she knows that she can’t let a girl get in the way of her dreams, she’s not going to be that person. She just really doesn’t want to have to see Tobin, but she knows that it's unavoidable considering she lives right across the hall and they play on the same team. 

She supposes this is why they have the no teammates rule in the first place.

Tobin had tried to text her a couple of times while they had still been in California, but Christen hadn’t responded to her. And thankfully, Tobin hadn’t been too pushy and was just letting her have some space. A part of her thought Tobin may show up at her house again, but thankfully, she hadn’t. For one, she wouldn’t have wanted to see her, but also because Tyler would have probably killed her.

Kelley on the other hand had been blowing her phone up. And Christen feels a little bad for ignoring her, because Kelley hadn’t done anything wrong. She just really wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone about all of this. She’d text Kelley and let her know that she was okay and told her she just wanted to be alone for a bit, but that was all she’d offered her. 

When she gets inside the dorm rooms she sees Ashlyn and Ali walking down the hallway towards her. She inwardly groans, and considers for a moment if she could turn around and walk back out, but she knows that they’ve already seen her. Especially considering they’re giving her huge smiles and waving. 

“Hey guys,” she says quietly, giving them the best smile that she can muster up. It’s not like she is upset with them or anything, she’s just not really in a mood to be social right now. She’d hoped to be able to escape into her room without running into anyone. Though, she knew that was asking for a lot, considering there is always someone out roaming the hallways or headed somewhere.

“Hey Pressi,” Ashlyn greets, reaching her arm out to hug Christen. 

Christen just gives her a side hug, patting her awkwardly on the back. She’s not really feeling completely comfortable with physical contact right now, but she also doesn’t want to be mean. She also doesn’t want to raise too many suspicions and make them start questioning her on what’s wrong.

“Did you just get back?” Ali asks with a sincere smile. She doesn’t reach out to hug her and Christen thinks that maybe she’d picked up on how anxious she is right now. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods simply. 

“How was your vacation? Did Tobin and Kelley come and bother you?” Ashlyn asks with a grin, obviously having no idea about anything that had happened in the past few days. 

“They came over,” Christen says with another nod. “We just hung out at the beach and had dinner with my family,” she informs them, not feeling the need to get into any of the other details. She’s sure that they’ll hear it all from Tobin or Kelley soon enough anyway. 

“Tobin try and get you on a surfboard?” Ali asks with a smirk. 

Christen just lets out a forced laugh at the mention of Tobin, “Uh she tried, but that didn’t happen,” she says with a shrug. “I just watched them and relaxed with my dogs,” she explains. “I’m going to head upstairs, I’m pretty tired,” she then says, before they can try and start up another conversation with her. She knows that she’s being a little rude, but honestly she’s just feeling really tense and wants to just escape into her room and be alone. Forcing conversation right now is just going to make her feel even more anxious.

“Okay,” Ali nods, giving her a concerned look. She doesn’t ask any questions though, and Christen appreciates that. “We’ll catch up later, yeah?” 

“Yeah, okay,” Christen nods and then continues down the hallway towards her room.

“Did she seem off to you?” Ashlyn asks, turning towards her girlfriend. 

Ali’s still following Christen’s tense figure as she walks down the hallway and she nods her head. “Yeah, definitely,” she says, turning back to look at Ashlyn. “We shouldn’t bother her though,” she decides, figuring that Christen just needs some space. “She may just be upset because she had to say goodbye to her family,” she shrugs, hoping that is all it is. She knows how close Christen is to them and how difficult it is for her to have to leave them. 

“Maybe,” Ashlyn frowns. “And maybe we shouldn’t bug her, but we can go and bug Tobin,” she suggests, raising a brow at Ali. 

Ali frowns, not really wanting to get into Christen’s business, but she supposes that it won’t hurt to just check in with Tobin and see if she knows anything. If anyone knows anything then it’ll be Tobin. “I think her and Kelley went to the cafe,” she tells her girlfriend, already headed back down the hallway.

—-

Tobin was starving. It had been a long and stressful drive back to campus and Alex had refused to make another stop to get them food, because she wanted to get here quicker to see her boyfriend. Which, Tobin understands, but a girl needs to eat. Which is why her and Kelley had made a trip down to the student cafe to grab a quick dinner. It’s not the best food, but she’s too exhausted to leave campus and go to a restaurant. 

And she’s about to take the first bite of her sandwich when she hears her name being called. “Toby!” 

She sighs and looks over her shoulder to see Ashlyn and Ali walking up to their table, concerned looks on their faces. “What’s up?” She asks distractedly, as she turns her attention back to her sandwich, not really in the mood to talk until she has some food in her. 

“What’s up with Christen?” Ashlyn asks, getting straight to the point as her and Ali sitting down at the table with Tobin and Kelley. 

Tobin furrows her brows and quickly looks up at them, momentarily forgetting about her sandwich she had so desperately needed. “What do you mean?” She asks, a bit worried, thinking that something had happened to her.

“We just ran into her and she was really tense and quiet. She just seemed like something was wrong. We didn’t really want to push it because she definitely didn’t seem like she wanted to be talking to us,” Ali explains to her, a frown on her face.

Tobin glances over to Kelley who is looking at her with a glare, her brow raised, seeing what she is going to say about the situation. Tobin sighs because she knows that it’s her fault and she knows that Kelley is still upset with her over it. “Tobin fucked up,” Kelley says simply when Tobin doesn’t answer, making Tobin roll her eyes. She was hoping that Kelley would keep quiet and not blab to everyone what happened, but she knew that was wishful thinking. 

“What do you mean?” Ashlyn asks, her brows furrowed. 

Tobin drops her sandwich onto her plate, not even in the mood to eat anymore. She hasn’t spoken to Christen since she was at her house that morning so she wasn’t really sure how Christen is doing. She knew that she probably wasn’t doing well, but she’d hoped that after a couple of days, she’d be okay. 

“We don’t really know. She won’t talk about it,” Kelley says, giving Tobin another glare. “And Pressi won’t text me or anyone else back,” she adds with a huff, mad at Tobin for making Christen so upset that she won’t even talk to her. 

Ashlyn and Ali just look over to Tobin, confused and a bit concerned. 

“And I still don’t want to talk about it,” Tobin mumbles, packing up her sandwich and standing up from the chair. “I’m going to eat in my room,” she grumbles. 

“We’re roommates Tobs, you can’t escape me!” Ashlyn calls after her, but Tobin doesn’t stop. She just heads out of the cafe and back up to her room, hoping for some peace. She knows that she won’t get away with not talking about everything for long, but she’s going to extent it as long as possible. Not only is it none of their business, but she also doesn’t need the lectures or the dissaproving looks.

“What’s going on?” Ali asks, turning back to Kelley. 

Kelley just sighs and shakes her head. “I don’t know. Tobin stayed over at Christen’s house one night while we were in LA,” she starts to explain. “The next morning, me and Alex went back over there to have breakfast with them. Tobin came down the stairs crying and saying that we needed to go. We left without seeing Christen and then Tobin wouldn’t tell us anything and she still hasn’t, other than ‘she fucked up,” she says, her jaw clenching in frustration. “I tried texting Christen and she just told me she’s okay and needs some space,” she frowns. 

Ali and Ashlyn look between each other, concern all over their faces. “Well, I guess it’s not really our business,” Ali finally says, though she wants to know what happened too. More so, she just wants to make sure that they’re okay and help if they need it. “I’m sure that they’ll talk to us if they want to, but we can’t force them,” she says, trying to be the voice of reason. 

“What the hell did Tobin do?” Ashlyn mumbles, shaking her head, getting a little angry that Tobin had apparently done something to Christen. Tobin is of course one of her best friends, but she feels protective over Christen, and also considers her a good friend, even if she’s still getting to know her.

“We don’t know that it was Tobin,” Ali says, matter of fact, though she knows it probably wasn’t Christen. 

Both Kelley and Ashlyn scoff at that. “Of course it was Tobin.”

—-

Christen makes it into her dorm room without seeing anyone else, which gives her some sort of relief. She was thankful that Tobin’s door had been closed. She’s not even sure if Tobin and the other girls had made it back yet, but at least she doesn’t have to see her for the time being. She’s not sure she’s prepared to see Tobin yet. Though, she knows that it’s only a matter of time. 

She sees Alex in their room, sitting on her bed doing something on her laptop, which means that they’ve definitely made it back. She knew that she was also going to have to face Alex at some point, considering they’re roommates, but she’d hoped for a little bit of privacy while she got settled back in. Though, she knows that she can’t do anything about it. It’s Alex’s room as well and she has every right to be here. 

Alex looks up when she hears Christen and gives her a small smile. “Hey,” she greets, and Christen can tell that she’s a bit hesitant, like she doesn’t really know how to act around her or what to say. And she knows that Alex has some sort of idea about what happened between her and Tobin, but she isn’t really sure how much she knows. She would assume that Tobin would tell her and Kelley, but she’s not sure.

“Hi,” Christen greets back simply. She walks over to her side of the room and sets her bags down on the bed to start unpacking her things. She’s a little tired, but she knows if she leaves her bags unpacked, it’ll just make her even more anxious than she already is and she won’t be able to relax. 

Alex just watches her out of the corner of her eye. She and Christen aren’t particularly close, and she’s not exactly sure about all of the details between her and Tobin but she’s a little worried about her. She hasn’t forgotten the panic attack that she had witnessed a few weeks ago and she’s also noticed her OCD tendencies, which are starting to show through even more right now. 

She knew that Christen was probably going to be upset, but she wasn’t sure how upset or much this would all affect her.

She watches as Christen folds and unfolds her clothes a few times each before placing them in her dresser drawer. She also sees her open and close the drawers a couple of times before returning to her suitcase as she mumbles quietly to herself, though Alex can’t make out what she’s saying. She’s pretty sure that she’s just counting as she does things so many times.

She bites down on her lip, wondering if she should say anything to Christen about it, but again, they aren’t very close and she’s not sure if she’d be overstepping. It’s obvious that Christen doesn’t really like talking about it. She’d been pretty snappy when Alex had seen her taking some medication. And she’s not sure, but she assumes that the medicine has something to do with the OCD or her anxiety. 

“Are you okay?” Alex finally decides to ask her. 

Christen jumps a bit, like she’d been in her own world and had forgotten that Alex was even in the room. She turns around and looks at Alex, shifting a bit uncomfortably. “Yeah,” she says simply and then goes back to unpacking, placing her shoes meticulously in order under her bed and making sure that they’re all perfectly lined up. 

Her shoulders are tense and Alex can almost hear her muscles straining. She knows that she is definitely not okay. “Okay,” Alex says quietly, not really wanting to push the already anxious girl. “Have you eaten dinner? I was thinking about going down to the cafe,” she offers politely. Maybe getting some food in her or seeing the other girl’s will help her to relax a bit.

“I ate with my parents,” Christen says simply, not turning to look at Alex. She zips up her bag and places it carefully behind the headboard of her bed, making sure it’s lined up perfectly. She moves it back and forth just an inch, until she’s satisfied with where it is. Alex knows that there is organized and then there is whatever this is.

“Okay, well do you want to come down with me anyway? I’m sure a lot of the girls will be there and we haven’t seen each other for a week,” she offers, getting up from her bed. 

Christen swallows and just shakes her head. “No, I don’t really feel well,” Christen says quietly. “I’m just going to stay here and get some rest,” she says though it’s a complete lie, because she doesn’t feel sick at all. Honestly, she just wants to be able to curl up in her bed and feel sorry for herself and not have anyone come up and bother her. She definitely doesn’t feel like being social.

“Oh okay,” Alex says, with furrowed brows, not really believing her, but she’s not going to question it. “Do you want me to bring you anything?” 

Christen turns to look at Alex, a little surprised by the offer. It’s not that her and Alex don’t like each other, but they’ve never really talked or tried to make friends with each other. “No, thank you though,” she says sincerely and then turns back to her things. She looks around, counting on her fingers everything that she had needed to put away and making sure it’s all away in its proper place.

Alex notices Christen start touching each of her fingertips to her thumbs over and over and she’s not really sure what she’s doing, but she doesn’t comment on it. “Okay, I’ll see you later,” Alex says softly, looking at Christen a bit concerned, but not really sure what more she can do for her. She then sees Christen crawl into her bed and it makes her even more worried, because Christen has never been one to lay around in bed during the day. She’s always either studying, practicing or doing something productive. But, maybe she really wasn’t feeling well. 

Either way, she’s not really sure what to do for her. Or if there is even anything that she can do for her. So she decides to just leave and give her some space.

Christen watches Alex walk out of the room and she lets out a sigh, feeling a little relieved that she has the room to herself for a little bit. She knows that she should be studying or making sure that she’s ready for classes tomorrow, but she really doesn’t have the energy to do that right now. 

She knows that she can’t just mope around and have a girl get in her way of succeeding, but she just can’t find the motivation to care right now. She’s hurting and she’s never felt like this in her life. She doesn’t know how to get past it. She’s never even really liked anyone before, much less had her heart broken.

She pulls her phone out and checks some of her social media, which she hasn’t done in the past couple of days, not exactly feeling social. Not that she has very many friends that she follows, except the girls on the team. And of course a bunch of pages with cute dog posts, which always seems to make her feel better. 

She scrolls through some photos that her sisters have posted and even one that her dad posted of her and her mom which makes her laugh because he posted some cheesy comment on it like he always does. It makes her smile, but then it also makes her sad because she misses them and wishes she was at home right now. 

She then comes across a photo of herself and Tobin that they’d taken at her house in LA. It was when they’d been at the beach and Tobin had her arms wrapped around Christen, both of them with wide smiles on their faces. She remembers taking the photo and how happy she’d been in that moment. Little did she know it was all going to go up in flames just hours later. 

She realizes that Tobin hadn’t tagged her in the photo this time and she assumes that it’s because she didn’t want all of her fans bugging her, though she’s pretty sure they all recognize her by this point. She’s posted a couple of photos of them together by now. But at least she doesn’t have a million notifications and she’s not being alerted by all the comments. 

She knows that she shouldn’t, but she scrolls through a few of the comments just out of curiosity. Most of the comments are everyone talking about them being a couple and how cute they look together. There are a couple of negative comments as usual, but most of them are just everyone freaking out about Tobin having a hot girlfriend. 

It just makes Christen feel worse, because she really did want to be Tobin’s girlfriend and she’d really thought it was going to happen for her. 

But here she is, laying in bed feeling sorry for herself. 

If only the fans knew.

With a sigh, she turns her phone back off and rolls over in her bed, hugging her pillow to her chest. Tomorrow, she’ll get up and go on with her life, but today she just wants to wallow a bit longer.

—-

A couple of hours later there is a knock on Christen’s door. She furrows her brows and looks over at the door as if she could see through it. It’s late and she’s not really sure who would be bothering her at this time, though she knows that most of the team stays up pretty late and she’s honestly surprised that it took this long for someone to turn up. 

Alex still isn’t back so she knows that she has to be the one to get up and answer it, but honestly she doesn’t want to. She curls back up in bed, deciding to just ignore it and hope that they go away. She’s not up for any company right now anyway. 

Though they don’t go away and just keep on knocking. After a minute, the door even opens slowly, and Christen curses Alex for not locking it on her way out. She rolls over onto her back and looks towards the door to see Tobin peeking her head inside. 

Christen’s jaw clenches and she sits up slowly, “What are you doing here?” She asks, not even attempting to hide the anger in her voice. 

It makes Tobin flinch and she looks a bit guilty, though she doesn’t cower away or leave. She opens the door wider, but doesn’t come all the way inside, obviously not being welcome. “Alex said you weren’t feeling well,” she states with a frown. “I just wanted to check on you,” she says honestly. She’d debated with herself for awhile if she should come over, and even though she had come to the conclusion that she should just leave Christen alone, here she is. 

Christen sighs, “I’m fine. Just a bit under the weather,” she tells her with a frown. “I don’t need you checking up on me,” she tells her with a glare. 

Tobin nods timidly, “I’m sorry,” she says quietly. She was expecting Christen to not want to see her, but she hadn’t expected her to be this angry, though she knows that she deserves it. She’s just missed her terribly after not speaking to her for a few days and she still feels awful for what she’d done. She just wants to try and make things right. She hates seeing Christen so upset, especially when it’s because of her. She doesn’t even feel like she’s worth someone being so upset over. “Could we maybe talk?” She asks softly.

Christen furrows her brows and pulls her legs up to her chest, wrapping her arms securely around them, trying to find some sort of comfort. She’s been having pretty bad anxiety the past few days and seeing Tobin right now is kind of making it worse. “Tobin, we don’t have anything to talk about,” she says matter of fact. “You were pretty clear,” she says with a coldness in her voice that Tobin has never heard out of her.

It’s scary and it’s even scarier because she’s the one that put it there. 

It’s her fault that the normal happy and smiley girl is now so cold and sad. 

“Christen,” Tobin says softly, sadness in her eyes. She carefully steps further into the room and notices how Christen presses herself further into her headboard, like she’s trying to get away from her, her body tensing up. It makes Tobin’s heart break and she just wants to burst out into tears. She never wanted to make Christen feel like this and she definitely never wanted to become a person that made Christen feel more anxious. She wants to be the one to calm her. “I am so sorry,” she says again, not being able to stop tears from forming in her eyes. “I never wanted to hurt you. It’s the last thing that I wanted,” she says honestly. 

Christen feels tears welling up in her own eyes and she just shakes her head. “Yeah well you did,” Christen says sadly. 

Tobin nods and swallows a lump in her throat, “I know,” she says, looking down at the ground, just hating herself even more. “I just want you to know that I do have feelings for you, Christen. I like you so much, I just....I can’t...” she sighs, not really knowing what to say.

“You don’t have to repeat yourself,” Christen snaps, not knowing if she can handle the rejection again. “I get it.” She tells her. Hearing that Tobin does have feelings for her helps a little, but honestly it doesn’t change anything. It kind of just confuses her more. If Tobin just didn’t like her like that this would all be pretty black and white and easy to understand. But it’s not black and white, it’s all gray and confusing. 

She doesn’t like things that she can’t control or figure out. She doesn’t do well with gray areas.

It just makes her even more anxious. 

Tobin sighs and has to hold back a sob. She doesn’t deserve to cry right now, especially not in front of Christen. This is all her fault and she knows that she could solve their problems if she’d just stop running and commit to Christen. But, she’s just not there yet and the last thing she wants to do is agree to be with Christen when she’s not ready. She can’t hurt her even more than she already has. Besides, she’s not even sure if Christen would still have her at this point. And she deserves that. 

Christen shouldn’t take her back. 

“I’ll leave you alone,” Tobin says quietly. “I hope you feel better,” she tells her though she knows that Christen isn’t actually sick, she’s just heartbroken and it’s all Tobin’s fault. 

Tobin gives the girl one last look, wanting her to know how sorry she is, but Christen is just looking down at her knees, avoiding Tobin’s gaze. “I’ll see you around,” she says, before walking out of Christen’s dorm, closing the door behind her. 

Christen just lets a sob rip through her throat and curls back up in her bed. 

—-

The next morning, Tobin is at the cafe with Alex, Kelley, Ashly, Ali and Pinoe. The five of them have been pretty talkative all morning, but Tobin has pretty much kept to herself, just silently sipping on her coffee. She honestly had been a bit hesitant to come out with everyone because she knew that they would just bombard her with questions and try to get her to talk to them, which she still doesn’t want to do. But, they’d promised her they wouldn’t pry so here she is, just nibbling on a protein bar, half listening to what they are talking about. 

Even though Christen isn’t here with them, she still resisted the urge to get some bagels, just to make Christen proud of her. 

She’s kind of regretting it as she eats the mostly tasteless bar. Though, it’s really not as bad as she tries to make it out to be, but it’s definitely no bagel. And she’s pretty sure that carbs could help heal her heart. Well, that’s a lie. She’s pretty sure nothing can heal her right now. 

But she wants to do better by Christen. Even when she wants nothing to do with her. 

“Tobin?” She hears Alex say and sees the girl snapping in her face. 

Tobin looks up and sees the group looking at her and she just rolls her eyes with a huff. “What?” She asks in a snappy tone. She’s not meaning to be mean to them, but she’s not in a good mood and she can’t stop it. Also, she’s a bit on edge because she knows that eventually they’re going to bring up her and Christen again. She’s just waiting on it. 

“I asked if you have talked to Christen?” Alex asks curiously. 

There it is. 

Tobin rolls her eyes and sits back in her chair, folding her arms across her chest. “What do you think?” She snaps, glaring at them. They still may not know the details of what went down between the two of them but they do know that she’d fucked everything up, or at least that’s what she’s told them. But, she also knows they aren’t trying to annoy her or be nosy. They are just trying to be good friends, and she appreciates it but she also just needs them to leave her alone. “Sorry,” she apologizes with a sigh. “But no, she wouldn’t talk to me,” she informs them. 

“I’m worried about her,” Alex tells her softly. 

This piques Tobin’s curiosity. “Why?” She asks, growing a bit concerned. She knows that Christen is upset, but she doesn’t know the extent of it and how she’s really doing. She’s only seen her the one time since everything went down and it hadn’t been for very long. She could obviously see that she was upset then, but she’s even more worried if she’s now even concerning Alex. 

But, honestly Tobin wants to respect Christen's wishes and keep her distance. She doesn’t want to make her even more anxious by constantly bothering her and trying to talk to her. And she knows that she doesn’t deserve Christen’s time right now. But, it won’t stop her from checking in on her through other people, and finding out what she can. 

Alex frowns at her and isn’t really sure how much she should tell Tobin or how much Christen would want her to know. But, Alex also knows that Tobin is the only person who really knows Christen and could possibly help her if she needs it. “Well, her OCD has been a lot worse the past couple of days,” she says, making Tobin’s brows furrow. 

Tobin had picked up on some of Christen’s tendencies, but she’s never noticed it being out of control or a problem. They’ve also never really talked about it. Tobin never knew how to bring it up and figures that Christen would tell her about it, when she felt comfortable doing so. 

She never really saw it as a problem or thought about how it could get worse or cause the girl any issues. It was always just small things and she’s met other people who like to be organized and do things in a particular way. She never thought more of it than that. 

But maybe she should have.

“She’s always had little quirks but it’s never really raised a red flag for me,” Alex starts to explain. “But, she’s been doing things repetitively, like opening and closing her drawers a few times and rearranging her desk constantly and making sure even her pencils are lined up perfectly. This morning she tied and untied her shoes like 3 times before she left the room. And she just seems so tense, like she’s going to break if you just touch her.” She says with a frown. “I don’t know if it’s a big deal but, I wanted to tell you,” she says with a small shrug. “I don’t really think me and her have a strong enough relationship to where she’d want to talk to me about it,” she says honestly. 

Tobin nods her head and looks back down at her coffee, a frown on her face. She’s worried about Christen too, but she’s not really sure what she can do. Honestly she doesn’t know much about OCD in the first place or how to help with it. And Christen has made it pretty clear that she wants nothing to do with Tobin, and she doesn’t want to make it worse by trying to talk to her again. 

She feels completely helpless. 

She considers briefly, calling one of her sisters, but then Tobin really doesn’t want to over step any boundaries. Though, if Christen really does need help, she’s willing to burn more bridges or have her hate her even more, if it means that she will be okay.

“I can try and check in on her again,” Ali offers softly, noticing the confliction on Tobin’s face. “I text her to get coffee or something with me, but she turned me down. I’ll keep trying though, okay?” She assures Tobin, reaching over and grabbing the girls hand, trying to give her some comfort. Tobin just gives her a small smile in return, nodding her head. 

She supposes that will have to do for now. If she can’t do anything to help her, at least maybe she can have her friends keep an eye on her, for her. 

“Yeah, I ran into her at the vending machines last night and tried talking to her but she was pretty short with me and then just went into her room and closed the door,” Ashlyn comments. “She seemed pretty tense, and she’s definitely secluding herself again. I don’t think she really wants anything to do with anyone anymore,” She says with a frown. “And I’m pretty sure she’s just been eating out of the vending machines to avoid going into the cafe or anywhere else.” She informs her.

Tobin buries her face in her hands and lets out a soft groan. “I fucking hate myself,” she says pitifully. Just when Christen was starting to open up to everyone and make some friends, Tobin had to go and ruin it all for her. 

Ashlyn bites down on her lip and looks between the other girls, nobody really knowing what to say to her. “Tobin, we can’t really help you unless you tell us what happened,” she says, though she knows that Tobin has made it perfectly clear that she doesn’t want to talk about it. “But, I also know how much you actually care about Christen, no matter how hard you try and deny it,” she says, giving her a pointed look. 

“And?” Tobin says, folding her arms across her chest, not really sure where this is going. But she also isn’t going to deny that fact. There’s no point, really. 

“And, I know that you wouldn’t ever purposely hurt her,” Ashlyn finishes.

“You were pretty mad,” Ali interrupts with a small smirk. 

Ashlyn just rolls her eyes and gives her girlfriend a smile, “Okay I was pissed and ready to kick your ass,” Ashlyn admits, making Tobin furrow her brows. “But, Ali talked me down and she made some good points,” she tells her. “Whatever you did can’t be that bad because I know that you would never want to hurt her,” she decides, giving Tobin a soft look, hoping to let her know that she can open up to them and they won’t judge her. 

“It was pretty bad,” Tobin mumbles, looking back down at the table. 

“Okay well, you made a mistake-

“A big mistake,” Kelley interrupts, giving Tobin a small glare.

“Kelley, you don’t even know what she did,” Pinoe frowns, looking over at the girl, who looks pretty angry. 

“I know that Tyler told me Christen cried all day long and wouldn’t get out of bed,” she informs them. “And now she won’t talk to any of us,” she adds with a huff. 

Tobin swallows hard at that information and feels even more guilty. She hadn’t known that Christen had spent the whole day crying. Though, she’s not surprised. She’d seen how hurt Christen looked that morning after Tobin turned her down. She just feels even more guilty for ruining the rest of Christen’s trip home. She’d been so excited to go home and see her family and because of her, she hadn’t even been able to fully enjoy it. She’d ruined her happy place. 

“Okay,” Ashlyn says, trying not to let her own feelings cloud her judgement and get worked up again like Kelley is. Honestly, if it were anyone but Tobin, she’d probably already have beaten their ass. However, she knows Tobin and she can tell that she’s hurting as well. So she tries to stay neutral. Plus, she still doesn’t even know what happened so she can’t make any judgments. Or so that’s what Ali keeps telling her. “I’m sure that you had your reasons and that you didn’t purposely hurt her,” she tells Tobin, hoping to make her feel a bit better. 

“What exactly were your reasons?” Kelley asks, probably the most angry with Tobin out of the rest of the group. She’s definitely one of the closest people to Christen, besides Tobin and maybe Ali. 

Tobin sighs and looks up at Kelley, “I really don't want to get into this, Kelley,” she tells her, feeling exhausted. 

Kelley just continues to glare at her, even though Alex and the rest of the girl’s are giving her a look to just let it go. “I feel like we have a right to know. Pressi is our friend too,” she says matter of fact. “You keep saying that it’s not any of our business, but when it involves our friends, it kind of is,” she says, feeling a bit annoyed that the others are just letting Tobin get away with not explaining things to them. “Plus, I need to know how mad I should be at you,” she adds with a shrug.

Tobin just rolls her eyes, but knows that Kelley is kind of right. “You guys know that I’m not made for being in a relationship. I’d just fuck it up and hurt her even worse,” Tobin tries to say, not really feeling like she has to explain in detail what happened. “Honestly she’s better off this way and she’ll move on quick enough,” Tobin shrugs, not only trying to convince them, but herself as well. 

Kelley scoffs at her, rolling her eyes. “I’m so tired of that excuse,” she says angrily. 

“Well it’s really none of your business Kelley,” Tobin snaps back, not in the mood for this. “Hate me if you want, I don’t care,” she says angrily, though they know that she doesn’t actually mean it. “I’ve got to go,” she mumbles, standing up from the table and walking out the door before any of them can stop her. She knows they deserve more than that, but she can find it in herself to talk about it. She just doesn’t want to relive it and bring up all of those feelings again. She’s trying to forget all of it and just put it behind her, and move on. She’s hoping that Christen will do the same. 

And she knows that she will in time. Tobin isn’t worth being upset over for long, or so it’s what she believes. 

“Hey maybe you should lay off of her a little?” Pinoe says, looking over to Kelley. 

“She’s hurting too,” Ashlyn tells her with a sigh. “And she obviously feels guilty enough,” she points out. None of them have ever seen Tobin this upset before. She’s always been so carefree and never let anything get to her. It’s pretty unsettling to see her like this.

Kelley just scoffs and rolls her eyes. “She deserves to be hurting,” she says angrily. 

“You don’t mean that,” Alex says, giving Kelley a pointed look. “I know that you care about Christen, but Tobin is our best friend too and we need to respect her choices and be there for her as well,” Alex says softly. “Whatever happened between them is between them and you just need to give them some time.”

“Whatever,” Kelley mumbles, standing up from the table as well. She knows rationally that they’re right, but she’s still too upset with Tobin to really see reason right now. “I’ve got to go too,” she says, before walking out of the cafe. 

The rest of the group just sighs, not really knowing what else to say or how they can fix the situation. 

—-

The next day, Christen manages to get herself out of bed early enough to get back into doing her morning yoga. She’d gotten up and made it to her classes the past couple of days, but she hadn’t had the motivation in her to do much else, which she hates. She’s never liked being unproductive and she’s never been one to be lazy, but she’s just had absolutely no motivation and her anxiety has been so crippling that she can barely get out of bed. 

She also, of course had made it to practice and thankfully, had been able to put her feelings aside long enough to still be able to focus on doing well. The little energy she did have, she was definitely going to make sure it went into soccer. Even though she’s upset, there is no way that she is going to let a girl get in the way of her career or her dreams. 

However, she still isn’t talking to anyone. She’d communicated as much as she needed to, to be able to connect and play as a team but that was about it. She wasn’t joking around with them before or after practice. She was just there for soccer and that was it. As soon as practice was over, she’d basically fled back to her room. 

Some of the girls had tried to talk to her and include her in conversations, but most of them had picked up on her mood and just left her alone, which she was thankful for. Though, she was a little surprised that they weren’t constantly bugging her to hang out with them, like they normally were. 

She knows that they don’t deserve any of this, but she can’t help it. She’s just been feeling so stressed and anxious the past few days and the thought of being social and hanging out makes her feel like she’s going to have a panic attack. She just needs a little more space to try and process everything and get a better understanding of her feelings and how to get over them. 

Not that she thinks she will ever learn how to get rid of them. This is completely new territory for her. And maybe, hanging out with the girls and even talking to them about all of this could help, but the thought of that makes her panic. She’s never really had friends to talk to and she doesn’t know how to open up to them and talk. She also feels like she’d be burdening them, and doesn’t want to ask for the help.

She walks into the little yoga studio in the gym and sees someone there. She almost turns around and heads back to her room, not really wanting to have to share the space today, but she knows that she really needs to get back into her old routine. She is hoping that it’ll make her feel better. 

And then she realizes that it’s Ali, which makes her relax a bit. Out of anyone that could be in there, Ali is probably the best option, and the one who makes her feel most at ease. 

“Hey,” Ali greets her softly when she sees Christen walk in. Honestly, she’d only come down here this morning, hoping to run into Christen. 

“Hi,” Christen replies with a soft smile of her own. 

“You mind if I join you? I can totally leave if you want to be alone,” Ali asks softly, giving Christen the option to tell her no or say that she’d rather be by herself. 

Christen bites down on her lip and almost takes the offer to tell Ali she wants to do this alone, but decides against it. It’s a public space and Ali can be here if she wants, just as much as Christen. And she really has no right to ask her to leave. Plus, even though she’s been avoiding people, she kind of could use some company. She just hasn’t known how to ask for it, or gotten over her anxiety enough to put herself back out there and hang out with people again. She feels like she’s starting over and she’s back to how she was when she first started the semester. 

She always feels like when she’s taking a step forward, something happens and she takes two steps back. 

“Of course you can join,” Christen finally answers with a nod. 

“Okay,” Ali smiles. “I won’t bother you too much, but I am going to follow your lead. I still don’t really know what I’m doing,” she says with a light chuckle. 

“Okay,” Christen says, letting out the first laugh she has in awhile. 

Thankfully, Ali keeps her promise and they get through the whole session with limited talking. Just mainly, Christen giving her some pointers and helping her through some of the moves. And Christen is so happy that she’d made the decision to come down here, because honestly she feels better. Even with Ali being here, she’d been able to relax a bit and enjoy herself. 

She maybe even enjoyed herself a little more because of the company. Ali has always been a calming presence for her since she met her. She’s a lot different than the chaotic energy most of the girls put out. 

They start walking back to the dorms together in silence, until Ali decides to break it. She’d kept quiet for most of the morning, wanting to let Christen have her relaxing yoga session, but she definitely wants to try and talk to her now that she seems a little more relaxed. She just knows that she has to be careful about how she approaches things. “So how are you? I feel like I never see you anymore,” She asks, giving the girl a smile, deciding to start slow.

Christen looks over at her a bit cautiously, but then nods her head as she continues to walk down the path, “I’ve been okay,” she shrugs, not really wanting to tell Ali how she’s actually been doing pretty terrible. “I’ve just been focusing on school and of course practicing, getting ready for the big game,” she tells her. “I just don’t really want any distractions right now.” 

Ali just nods her head, though she can see right through the lie. But, she also understands, because they have a really big game coming up and honestly, Ali hasn’t been going out or doing things as much either. She wants her head to be completely focused on the game. However, she still needs some social interaction occasionally. “I get that,” Ali nods. “But everyone misses you,” she says with a soft smile. “You should at least have dinner with us or something. I mean you still eat right?” She asks with a small laugh.

Christen just frowns, because she highly doubts that everyone misses her. It’s not like she’d been that social to begin with and it’s not like she’s that much fun. She always just sits in the corner awkwardly, watching everyone else joke around with each other. She’s also pretty sure that Ali knows why she hasn’t actually been hanging out with them.

She stops walking and turns to Ali with a sigh, deciding to just say what she wants to say to her because she can feel how Ali is leading up to something and she seems to be tiptoeing around the subject and Christen just wants to get it all out. The light conversation and the awkwardness between them is just making her feel uneasy. “I’m sure by now you’ve heard what happened between me and Tobin,” she says knowingly. 

Ali just nods and gives her an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry,” she says softly, knowing that she had been pretty obvious. She just hadn’t really known how to bring up the subject of Tobin without scaring Christen off. “But, I don’t know the details by the way. Tobin isn’t talking to anyone about it,” she informs her, hoping to make her feel a little better. She knows that Christen probably doesn’t want everyone knowing her business and talking about her. “We just know that something happened and both of you guys have been pretty down since you’ve been back,” she explains to her. 

Christen just nods and folds her arms across her chest, trying to give herself some sort of comfort. “So is that why you came to yoga this morning? Trying to find out what happened?” Christen asks a little annoyed. Though, she knew that she wasn’t going to be able to escape her teammates questions for very long. She’s honestly surprised nobody has tried to ask her about it before now. She just thought that maybe Ali wanted to hang out with her again, not just trying get the juicy details over what happened between her and Tobin. 

Ali sighs and takes a step closer to Christen, sensing that she had upset her. “No, I’m not trying to pry and get details,” she says honestly and slightly hurt that Christen would think she’s that nosy. Though, she supposes that they still don’t know each other very well. “I came to yoga to check on you,” she corrects her, giving her a soft smile. “And because I actually enjoy it and I enjoy spending time with you,” she adds, hoping that Christen believes her. 

Christen relaxes a bit and offers Ali a small, grateful smile. “Sorry,” she says, knowing she shouldn’t have accused Ali of being nosy. She knows that Ali isn’t like that and she shouldn’t have jumped to that conclusion, especially when she was just trying to be nice. She’s just still a little on edge and not really feeling like herself right now. “But, I’m okay,” she tells her. “You don’t have to check in on me,” she mumbles softly, looking down at the ground, still unable to admit she may actually need someone right now.

Ali just studies her for a moment. “Okay...” she says, a bit unconvinced. “But, I want you to know that I am here if you want to talk to me, okay?” She offers her kindly. “And it stays between us, okay? I won’t tell Tobin or even Ashlyn, okay?” 

Christen smiles a bit more graciously at that. “I appreciate that, though I trust Ashlyn too,” she says with a smile, as she starts to walk again.

Ali smiles at that, “Good. She has been feeling pretty protective over you the past few days,” she admits. “She was ready to kick Tobin’s ass when she heard that you were upset. But, I calmed her down,” she says with a chuckle. 

“Ash is sweet,” Christen says with a grateful smile. “But tell her she doesn’t need to go and hurt Tobin,” she says with a small smile. 

Ali just laughs and nods her head as she continues walking with Christen, happy that she’s made some progress with her. 

“Do you want to get some coffee?” She then asks, biting on her lip a bit shyly. She’s still not really sure how to reach out to people for help, or even just to talk to them, but she figures coffee is a good start. The only other people she’s ever talked to about things were her sisters, and even then, she’d never had any sort of problem like this. It’s all new.

“I’d love to,” Ali nods with a smile. 

They turn down the sidewalk and start heading for the coffee shop instead of the dorm rooms. They walk in mostly silence, and Christen just uses the time to try and get her thoughts together and figure out exactly what she wants to talk to Ali about. She doesn’t want to burden Ali or make her sit there and listen to her complain, but it might be nice to have someone else to talk to about this stuff, besides her sisters who are pretty biased. 

Ali had also made it seem like she really did care and wants to hear about it.

When they get inside, Christen is thankful that none of the other teammates are here at the moment. She knows that a lot of them normally hang out here during the day, but it’s still pretty early so she assumes they have a little bit of time before anyone shows up. 

They grab their coffee and Ali leads them to a little table in the back corner, which Christen is also thankful for. She sits down across from Ali and just chews on her lip nervously, not really knowing how to start. This whole opening up and talking to someone else about her feelings is even harder than she thought.

She starts tapping each of her fingers against her thumb at a methodical pace, and breathing in deeply trying to calm herself down. It’s something that she’d been shown as a kid to help relax her when she starts to feel anxious. Half the time she doesn’t even realize that she’s doing it anymore, but sometimes she does it purposely. 

Ali notices the gesture and remembers what Alex had been telling Tobin, but she chooses not to comment on it. She already knows that Christen is anxious to talk about Tobin and she doesn’t want to add more to it. 

But she’s definitely going to keep a better eye on her, now that she is starting to see what Alex had been talking about. Because she also hadn’t missed the way Christen reached for the sugar packets and put one back 3 times in a row before actually using it.

She’s not sure if it’s something that she’d missed before or if this is something new. She also knows that it probably has to do with how uneasy Christen has been the past few days and it’s probably just from all the added stress in her life.

“You can talk to me about Tobin if you want to, but you don’t have to,” Ali finally says, sensing her uneasiness and hoping to ease her anxieties a bit. “I’m here to listen and maybe help you if you feel like you need any guidance, but that’s it, alright? No judgment or anything else,” she assures her. 

Christen just nods and starts picking at the coffee cup in front of her. She takes in a deep breath, feeling that she should probably just get right into it. “Tobin and I kissed when we were at my house,” she tells her with a small sigh. She looks up at Ali who looks a little shocked, but she tries to hide it. 

Ali just nods her head slowly, taking in the information. “I knew you guys were into each other and I knew that Tobin was being stubborn,” Ali starts. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure if either of you were ever going to make a move,” she admits, a bit surprised that something had actually happened between them.

Christen just nods as well. She knew they weren’t exactly subtle with their feelings for each other and it was probably pretty obvious that they were into each other. But, she figures that also means they’ve picked up on how they were also trying to fight the feelings or ignore them. “We were outside watching the sunset and she kissed me,” she says, not being able to stop herself from smiling a little at the thought of it, even though it hurts too. “It was really perfect,” she sighs. 

Ali gives her a reassuring smile, happy that it was a good experience for her, but she also knows that there is more to come and that it’s not as happy, so she lets her coninue talking. 

“And then she ended up staying over because it was late and so she slept with me. I mean not like that!” She says quickly. “We just uh.... We kissed again and...well we kissed a lot....” she says, her face turning bright red at the admission. 

Ali smiles at Christen, not being able to hold back a small chuckle at how embarrassed Christen seems to be over it. It’s pretty adorable. She also thinks that it’s safe to assume that it had been Christen’s first kiss. She hates that it had ended so poorly for her, but at least it had been a good experience at the time with someone she really likes. “So you didn’t do more than kiss?” She asks, raising a brow at Christen. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she shakes her head. “No we-...well we made out a lot and then she stopped because she said....well she said she wasn’t going to be able to stop,” she tells her, and she can actually feel the heat radiating off of her face from her embarrassment. 

Ali just smirks at her, shaking her head. Though, she’s at least proud of Tobin for not going any further than that. At least she has some sort of control. “Then what happened?” Ali asks, trying to get past the embarrassing parts for Christen. As much as she wants to hear the details because watching Christen get so embarrassed is amusing, she knows that Christen won’t want to talk about it. Especially since it ended poorly. 

“We just went to bed and cuddled,” she says a bit shyly. “I woke up and I was so happy,” she sighs wistfully. But then she frowns and looks back down at her coffee cup, her mood changing instantly and Ali feels her heart breaking for the girl, before she even tells her what happened. She can just see it on her face, how hurt she’s feeling. “And then I asked her out on a date when we get back to Portland and she uh...she said no,” she tells her. 

Ali just nods, because she had been expecting something like this. Obviously something bad happened, because they both had been walking around like kicked puppies ever since they got back, but she hadn’t really expected this. She’d just figured Tobin had pushed her away again or something similar. Not that they’d actually kissed or Christen had surprisingly been the one to ask Tobin out. Between how shy and anxious Christen is and how stubborn Tobin is, she never thought anything would happen between the two. “Did she tell you why?” Ali pushes lightly trying to understand the whole situation. 

Christen just nods, still focused on the coffee on the table. “She said that she really likes me, but she doesn’t need the distraction right now. That we shouldn’t be in a relationship,” she frowns. “We’ve talked about it before, but...I don’t know, I thought she changed her mind...I mean, she kissed me and I thought...” she says, but then sighs and shakes her head, trying not to let herself cry again. She’s been crying nonstop and she’s getting tired of it. 

Ali reaches over and takes Christen’s hand in her own. “Tobin is an idiot,” Ali tells her, but Christen just sighs. Hearing people bash Tobin right now isn’t really making her feel better, like she assumes people believe it would. She doesn’t think Tobin is an idiot. She just thinks she was honest with her. 

“No she’s not,” Christen says softly. “She doesn’t want me like that and it doesn’t make her a bad person,” she says honestly. “I knew that she didn’t want a relationship and I should have never let it get this far,” she sighs. 

“Hey,” Ali says, giving Christen’s hand another squeeze. “None of this is your fault,” she tells her, though Christen doesn’t seem to believe it. “You can’t help who you have feelings for and no matter how hard you try, you can’t stop it from happening,” she says, though she knows that it’s probably not what Christen wants to hear. “And I know that Tobin does want you,” she adds firmly. 

Christen just looks up at her with teary eyes. “She doesn’t,” Christen shakes her head. “At least not enough to actually be with me,” she adds softly. She knows that Tobin has admitted to having feelings for her, but obviously not strong enough to want to make the commitment. “I’m just embarrassed,” Christen says softly. “I shouldn’t have asked her out and I shouldn’t have let her kiss me,” she frowns. “I knew that she didn’t want the same things from me that I want from her.” 

“She shouldn’t have kissed you,” Ali says matter of fact. “I know she has feelings for you and it probably felt right in the moment, but she knew that she wasn’t going to change her mind and get into a relationship with you, she shouldn’t have played with your emotions like that. She knows how you feel,” she says, shaking her head, feeling frustrated with Tobin. 

Christen just shrugs, because she knows that Ali is right. But, she also still thinks she’s a little at fault for it all. And even though she’s hurting now, she doesn’t really regret kissing Tobin. It had been wonderful even for that short amount of time. And honestly, she’s happy that her first kiss had been with Tobin. She doesn’t want it to have been with anyone else, no matter how things turned out. 

“I don’t really know what Tobin has against relationships,” Ali informs her with a sigh. “We’ve always asked her why she just sleeps around constantly,” she starts to say and then notice the grimace on Christen’s face, “Sorry,” she apologizes, knowing Christen probably doesn’t want to hear about Tobin sleeping with other women. “But she never really gives us an answer. She just says she’s not made to be in a relaionship. And I know she thinks that it’s true, but I don’t. I think she’d be great at a relationship if she finds the right person- 

“And I’m not the right person,” Christen frowns. 

Ali sighs and gives Christen a sympathetic look. “I also don’t think that’s true,” she says honestly. “But, she still obviously has some things that she needs to work out.” She adds. “And who knows, maybe she will get over herself and realize how great you guys would be together, but I also can’t tell you that she will ever stop avoiding her feelings and being so stubborn.” She says, not wanting to upset Christen, but also wanting to be honest with her. “And I know that you like her, but I don’t think you should wait around for her.” 

Christen just furrows her brows at that. “I don’t want to be with someone else,” she says, assuming that’s what Ali had meant. Her sisters had told her the same thing and told her she should get back out there and try and find someone else who actually wants to be with her. 

“I’m not saying you have to go and be in a relationship with someone right now,” Ali says. “But, I’m saying don’t hold out for Tobin and don’t pass up an opportunity if it presents itself because you are just waiting around hoping Tobin comes to her senses,” she explains. “I love Tobin, but I really don’t want to see you continue to get hurt by her. And I know that Tobin isn’t doing it on purpose, but she has a lot to figure out and work on before she deserves you again.” She says seriously. 

Christen just nods, taking in all the information. “I just don’t know how to stop feeling this way. Or how to get over her,” Christen says quietly. “I don’t like feeling this way and I’m so mad at her but honestly I still... I still like her so much,” she admits, and she hates herself for it. She knows at this point that she deserves better than how Tobin has been treating her, but she also knows Tobin and knows that she could be good and that she’s not doing all of this on purpose. She’s not just playing with her to be mean. Which makes it even harder. If she was just a bad person and didn’t care about her feelings it would be different. 

She still hates that she finds herself forgiving Tobin so easily. She’s just so tired of being angry. 

“There isn’t much you can do,” Ali tells her honestly. “But in time, your feelings will lessen. And I know you can’t stop complete contact with her because of soccer, but you should definitely keep putting some space between you guys. It’ll suck at first but it’s better for your heart.” 

“I know,” Christen sighs. “And I’m still mad at her, but I can’t help but still want her. She’s still the first person I think of or want to tell when something happens. I miss her so much, already. I just want things to go back to how they were,” she says pitifully. 

Ali gives her another sympathetic smile and moves over to Christen’s side of the booth, putting an arm around her. “You know that things can’t go back to how they were,” she says honestly, though it’s not what Christen wants to hear. “You have to put yourself first and your heart,” she says, hoping that Christen will actually take her advice. “I know that it won’t be easy and I know that Tobin misses you too, but you have to at least punish her and make her grovel a bit,” Ali says, smirking slightly. 

Christen chuckles but then shakes her head, “I don’t want to punish Tobin,” she says honestly. 

“I know, because you are such a good person,” Ali says with a kind smile. “But don’t worry, Kelley is already punishing her enough for all of us,” she says, chuckling again. “She’s been giving Tobin a pretty hard time,” she admits. 

Christen frowns and looks up at Ali, pulling away from her a little. “What? Why? What is she doing?” She asks, not really wanting anyone to be hard on Tobin for all of this. 

“Not much, other than bugging her for details but she knows enough to be angry with her and she’s definitely letting Tobin know it. She just cares about you, Christen, we all do. And she’s upset that Tobin hurt you,” she explains when she sees the look on Christen’s face. “Tobin will be fine, and she deserves it a little,” she says, nudging the girl. 

“Maybe a little,” Christen finally says, a small smile showing on her face. 

Ali just laughs and then moves back over to her side of the table. 

“I’ve never liked anyone before. And I’ve never kissed anyone before Tobin,” Christen admits to her. “Of course the first time I do, it ends badly,” she frowns. 

“Hey, you’ll find someone who treats you the way that you deserve to be treated,” she assures her. “You’re kind of awesome,” she says with a wink. 

Christen blushes, not being able to stop a smile from forming on her face. “Thank you for letting me talk to you,” she then says, looking at Ali sincerely. “I’ve never really had friends either,” she tells her. 

Ali just gives her a big grin, “Thank you for opening up to me,” she returns. “I definitely would like to think that we are friends,” she says honestly. “And I’m here for you whenever you need to talk, okay?” She assures her. 

“Thank you,” Christen says again with a smile. 

“Now, let’s talk some strategy about this Championship game. I definitely expect to see you scoring some of your mind blowing goals,” she tells Christen with a grin, deciding to change the subject and hopefully keep Christen smiling. 

—-

Later that night, Christen stays on the fields after practice is over and decides to go ahead and start taking her shots for the day. She knows that she should probably give herself a break and rest a little in between, but she also knows that she has to push herself a little harder right now. The biggest game of the season is coming up and she has to be at her best. She knows that she is just a freshman, but it doesn’t matter. She still wants to do well and she knows that she needs to prove herself now more than ever if she wants to get more playing time next season and start to get noticed by the national team recruiters. 

And she’s also pretty in tune with her body and what she can and can’t take. She’s not dumb enough to over work herself to where she’s going to hurt herself because that would just lessen her chances and possibly ruin her career for good if she gets a bad enough injury. 

She starts lining the balls up and then sees movement behind her. She turns to see Tobin still on the field, but on the other end, watching her. Christen bites her lip and looks back at Tobin for a moment and then shakes her head, willing herself to look away and focus on what she’s here to do. 

“You should really get some rest, you’re going to overwork yourself,” she finally hears Tobin’s voice say, after she’s shot about 10 goals. She cuts her eyes to the side and sees Tobin standing on the sidelines, watching her. 

Christen just takes another shot and then turns towards Tobin. “I’m fine,” she says shortly. “I just want to get as much practice in as I can,” she informs her. “I know when to stop,” she says, and then turns back to her balls, lining up another shot. 

Tobin just chews on her lip and decides she should leave her be before she gets Christen even more angry with her. But, she also doesn’t want to leave because even though Christen won’t really talk to her, at least being in her company, even all the way across the field is better than nothing. Plus, she just loves watching Christen play football. She’s so good and it’s so mesmerizing. 

But, she decides she should at least do something while she’s not so subtly watching Christen so she sets up some cones and starts doing some dribbling excercies. 

Christen takes a break when she gets to 100 and stops to grab a drink of water. She can’t help but let her eyes travel across the field over to Tobin who is still doing some training. She has the same look on her face that she gets when they’re in a game, super focused and zoned in on what she’s doing. Christen just sighs, not being able to stop the thoughts in her head. Tobin is so hot when she’s concentrated and playing the game that she loves so much. It’s nice to see someone who is as serious as she is about it, and it just makes it even sexier. “Get a grip, Chris,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes at herself. 

She definitely doesn’t need to be having these thoughts anymore, and she’s trying really hard to stop them. 

However, it’s also a lot harder because now she knows what it feels like to have Tobin’s lips on her own and those strong hands on her body. She can still feel them on her and it drives her crazy. She’s had a taste and now she just wants more. 

But, obviously that isn’t possible. 

Taking in a deep breath, she puts her water bottle back down and starts rounding up all the balls to line up and continue practicing, trying as hard as she can to not look back at Tobin. 

When Christen finishes her 200 shots, she feels like her legs are about to give out beneath her. Maybe, she’d pushed herself a little harder than she should have today, but she knows she’ll be okay. She just needs to relax and probably take an ice bath, even though she hates them. 

She gathers up all of her things and starts heading for the tunnel when she sees Tobin jogging up behind her. She lets out a sigh, knowing that the girl is going to try and talk to her. Christen really doesn’t want to have to deal with it right now. She wants to stay mad at Tobin and try to keep her distance, but she knows that if Tobin continues talking to her and looking at her with those puppy dog eyes, she’s going to give in and do whatever she asks of her. 

“Hey, you heading back?” Tobin asks. 

Christen just shakes her head, “I’m going to take an ice bath and then have a shower,” she informs her. 

“Oh cool,” Tobin nods and then bites down on her lip, debating on if she should follow Christen or just leave her alone. However, this is the first time that Christen hadn’t basically run away from her so she decides she should take advantage of the moment. “I should probably have an ice bath too,” she informs her, giving her a small smile. 

“Do whatever you need to do Tobin,” Christen sighs and continues into the hallway, heading towards the trainers room. “But we are definitely not sharing,” she tells her, giving her a stern look. They’d shared them in the past, but she definitely knows that’s getting into a dangerous territory. Not that she can really even think about being turned on or having any other thoughts when she’s sitting in a tub of ice, freezing. 

Tobin just puts her hands up in the air, “Of course not,” she says, and can’t help but grin because Christen is still not running away from her. She could have easily told her to leave her alone or even decided to have an ice bath later, but she obviously doesn’t mind Tobin’s company at this point. At least from a safe distance. 

They get settled into their respective tubs, next to each other. Christen had rolled her eyes when she saw Tobin crawling into the one directly next to her, but she didn’t say anything about it. And she knows that Tobin knows she is pushing her luck, by the innocent grin that she gives her. 

Christen can’t stop the butterflies she feels in her tummy, even after everything. Tobin’s smile is her weakness. 

Or really everything about Tobin is her weakness. 

They manage to sit in silence for a few minutes and Christen just closes her eyes trying not to focus on how cold she is. And then that’s when Tobin starts talking. She’s just randomly telling her a story about some kid in class that got into an argument with the teacher and how hilarious it had been. And normally, Christen would love to hear Tobin talk about anything, even just her day. But right now, she really doesn’t want to listen to her. 

So she just nods and lets out a noise of acknowledgment every so often so that Tobin thinks she is listening to her. And she sort of is, because she finds that listening to Tobin’s voice is kind of distracting her from how cold she is. But, she’s also growing annoyed because Tobin is just talking to her like nothing had even happened between them and like they’re best friends again. 

When she goes into another story about a new art project that she’s working on, Christen has to put a stop to it.

“Tobin,” Christen finally sighs, shutting her up. 

“Yeah?” The girl asks a bit timidly, sensing the tone in Christen’s voice. 

“Please stop talking,” she tells her, still not looking over at the girl. 

“Sorry,” Tobin says quietly. “I just know that you hate these and I was trying to distract you,” she admits. 

Christen lifts her head up off the back of the tub and looks over at her, her brows furrowed a bit. It still touches her that Tobin cares enough and knows her well enough to do something so small. But it also makes her even more frustrated. “You can’t just do that,” she tells her with a frown. 

“Do what?” Tobin asks, looking confused. 

Christen lets out a loud sigh, “Just sit here and talk to me and be so nice and just act like nothing ever happened,” she says in a frustrated tone. “It’s not fair,” she adds quietly. 

Tobin’s face turns a bit guilty and she nods her head. “Okay, I’m sorry,” she says sincerely. “And I know that something happened, I haven’t forgotten that, believe me. I hate myself everyday for how much I hurt you,” she says softly. “But, I really would like to try and move past it and be friends again.” 

Christen just scoffs at her. “I can’t do that as easily as you can. I can’t just forget my feelings or how hurt I am. I can’t just be your friend, Tobin,” she tells her honestly. 

Tobin nods at her again, “Okay,” she says and then turns to look away from Christen, focusing on the wall in front of her. “I haven’t forgotten my feelings either,” she then says in a quiet voice. “And it’s not like I’m just over you,” she adds just as softly.

Christen turns to look at her again, but Tobin keeps her eyes straight forward. 

“But, I miss you,” she says after a minute of silence, turning to look at Christen again. “I’ll give you all the space you need and do whatever you want, but I really want us to try and be friends again at some point. I can’t imagine my life without you. It’s only been a few days and it sucks,” she says, matter of fact. 

Christen lets out a dry laugh, “Yeah it sucks,” she repeats Tobin’s words. “But, I know that if we go back to how things were, I’m never going to get over you and I’m just going to keep getting hurt,” she tells her. 

Tobin nods, understanding what she means. “So what does that mean for us?” She asks in a small voice. She definitely isn’t going to mention how she doesn’t want Christen to get over her. That’s not fair at all. 

But the thought of her moving on, hurts her as well.

Christen shrugs her shoulders and lays her head back against the tub. “Maybe we can be friends again at some point, but right now I think we need some space,” she says quietly. It’s the last thing that she wants as well, but she knows that it’s for the best. 

Tobin fights everything inside of her not to protest and try and convince Christen otherwise. Though, she knows that Christen is right and the last thing she wants to do is keep hurting her. “Okay, Chris,” she agrees softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so there is the aftermath of what happened and how they're both feeling. It'll get more interesting very soon! This story still has a lot more to go as long as you guys are enjoying it! So let me know what you're thinking and if you guys are still interested! 
> 
> Love you all! 
> 
> Feel free to chat with me or ask any questions you feel you would like answered! 
> 
> Tumblr: dope1723


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, hello there! 
> 
> It's been awhile.. I knew that it had been a long time, but I didn't realize it was almost 2 months! I promise not to make you guys wait that long anymore! I think I finally got my muse back for this story! 
> 
> Hopefully you guys still enjoy it!

It’s been a week since Christen told Tobin that she needed some space. Surprisingly, Tobin respected her wishes and actually gave her some distance. Though, Christen didn’t miss how Tobin would stare at her from afar, quickly looking away when she realizes that she’d been caught. But, Christen couldn’t really be upset about it. The only reason she’d even caught Tobin looking was because she’d been looking as well. 

She’s been struggling with not being able to talk to Tobin and she’s almost just tossed her new rule out the window and gone across the hall to see her. 

More than once. 

She misses everything about Tobin. From the mindless conversations they’d have walking to the elevators in the morning, to the way that she feels when Tobin’s arms are wrapped around her. She misses the way Tobin looks at her and makes her feel like the most important girl in the room. And how her big smile makes her whole body feel weightless and tingly. 

She really misses Tobin’s smile. 

But she knows that this is for the best. She has to get over Tobin and seeing her and speaking to her just makes her fall even harder for her. She knows that she’s not going to get over her if she continues to be around her. There’s just something about Tobin that makes her impossible to not like.

She still hasn’t really been much more social with her other teammates either and she feels a little guilty about it. Ali has been getting up and doing yoga with her most mornings, but that’s about the extent of her social interactions. Except the one night that Ashlyn and Ali had made her go to dinner with them off campus. Honestly, she’d had a really good time hanging out with just the two of them and it was nice to eat something other than crappy cafeteria food or having dinner from the vending machines. She’s just been so focused on her finals coming up and their championship game that she’s been hulling up in her room except for being at class or practice. Even if she wanted to hang out with them and be more social, she honestly didn’t have the time right now. 

Or so, that’s what she’s going to blame it on.

Her anxiety has been a little better but not much due to all the stress with finals and their big game. Though, she’s mostly gotten over the drama of the situation with Tobin. She still misses her of course and she is still hurt over the whole situation, but she’s stopped moping around about it all. 

Now she really is just focused on what she came here to do. 

Get good grades and improve her game.

And honestly she’s always been like this when she has a big test or a game coming up. Even when she was at home, she’d eat a quick meal in her room while she studied or she’d just eat a snack during a quick break on the field. She knows that she probably shouldn’t shut herself off so much and that it’s not good for her, but it’s how she deals with her stress. She can’t really just relax when something big is coming up for her. She just constantly feels the need to be practicing or studying and if she’s not, she feels like she’s wasting her time and being unproductive. Which she knows is wrong, because everyone needs a break sometimes, it just stresses her out to be doing something else when she knows she has something important coming up.

Occasionally she’ll take a few minutes to meditate and it helps a little, but sometimes she still has a hard time meditating when she’s so stressed out. She can’t keep her focus on her breathing and just lets her thoughts run wild on how she’s going to fail. 

But, she is starting to feel really bad for ignoring most of her friends. And maybe originally it was mostly because of everything with Tobin, but now she just really doesn’t feel like she has the time. But it’s also the first time she’s ever really had friends and the first time she’s had to try and figure out a balance between the two. 

It’s pretty difficult and now she’s not as upset with herself for not making friends in the past. Though, she can’t lie and say that she surprisingly has enjoyed having friends. She is starting to understand why people think friends are so important. 

Even Kelley has stopped texting her and trying to talk to her at practice or when she sees her in the hallway. It always makes Christen feel guilty when she sees the girl just look at her a bit timidly and then turn her attention away, not wanting to bother her. She can see Kelley fighting with herself whether or not she should come up to her and talk or not. 

Christen always gets the urge to say something to her, but then her anxiety gets the best of her and she never knows what to say. She’s never been good at being the one to initiate conversation, and especially not when it may end in a confrontation. Though, she’s pretty sure that Kelley wouldn’t really be mean to her. Even if she does deserve it.

So today when she sees Kelley in the coffee shop, she decides to suck it up and get over her fears, and just go and talk to her. She’s still not really sure what to say and she’s definitely nervous, but she knows that she needs to at least try and make things better between them. Kelley deserves some sort of apology or explanation. 

“Hey,” she says softly, as she hovers a bit awkwardly in front of the table that Kelley is sitting at. 

Kelley looks up from her laptop and looks a bit surprised to see Christen standing there. “Hi,” she says, furrowing her brows. 

Christen waits a few awkward seconds, kind of hoping that Kelley would say more, but she doesn’t. She just continues to stare at her, looking confused. And Christen knows that it is her that should be the one talking and explaining things, she just really doesn’t know how to start. She feels her entire body starting to tingle with anxiety and her heart starts racing in her chest, making her tighten her grip on her coffee cup.

“Are you okay?” Kelley finally asks, seeing the girl practically shaking in front of her. 

Christen nods, but it’s not very convincing. “I just....I...” she starts to say, but starts to stutter and just stops talking, trying to collect herself. 

“Why don’t you sit?” Kelley asks, giving her a comforting smile. 

Christen swallows and barely nods her head before she pulls the chair out and sits down across from Kelley with a sigh. “I just....I wanted to apologize to you,” she finally says, looking extremely guilty. She starts fiddling with her hands in her lap, being too anxious to actually look up at Kelley. 

Kelley tilts her head to the side and studies Christen for a moment. She can tell how nervous she is and how uncomfortable she seems to be. She feels a little bad for her, but she also can’t deny the fact that she is a little hurt by how Christen has been ignoring her the past couple of weeks. “That’s it?” She asks softly, raising a brow at the girl. 

Christen sighs and finally pulls her eyes up to look at Kelley. “I know that I have been kind of avoiding you,” she starts softly. “But, if it makes you feel any better, it wasn’t just you and it wasn’t anything that you did,” she tries to say. 

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Kelley says honestly, though she still doesn’t sound as mad as Christen had expected her to. She just sounds a little sad and it makes Christen feel even more guilty. “I mean, I know you’ve been upset with everything that happened between you and Tobin, but I thought we were friends,” she says sadly. “I didn’t think that I’d lose you too.” 

“We are,” Christen nods. “Well, I don’t really have a good excuse,” she admits. “I’ve never really had friends and I’ve definitely never had feelings for someone like I do with Tobin,” she starts to explain, making Kelley frown even more. “And when everything happened, I just really didn’t know how to deal with it. I’ve never felt that hurt before and I know that you didn’t do anything and you didn’t deserve for me to treat you that way. I just didn’t know how to deal with everything and I just shut myself off from everyone.” She further explains. “And I am so sorry, you didn’t deserve it.”

Kelley listens to Christen’s words, taking them all in. She knows that Christen means it and she knows that she is sorry. Christen would never intentionally hurt anyone and she knows that. She also knows how hard all of this has been on the girl and she doesn’t want to get angry with her. But, it doesn’t dismiss the fact that she had been a little hurt over it as well. “Thank you for apologizing,” she says softly. “And it’s okay,” she tells her. 

Christen lets out a sigh of relief, her body relaxing a bit when she realizes that Kelley isn’t going to be angry with her. “It’s not okay, but thank you for accepting my apology,” she tells her quietly. “I’m not really good at having friends,” she admits. 

Kelley just smiles at her, “You’re not as bad as you think,” she says. “I’m just glad you are finally admitting that we’re friends,” she says with a smirk. 

Christen just giggles, rolling her eyes playfully, “I guess we are,” she says with a teasing grin. 

“Don’t lie, we’re totally besties,” Kelley teases back. 

“Don’t tell my sister's that,” Christen says back with a smirk. 

Kelley just laughs and leans back in her chair, feeling more relaxed and happy that things seem like they can maybe get back to normal between her and Christen. “Don’t get me wrong, me and Tyler are the bestest of friends,” she says with a grin. 

Christen scrunches up her face at the comment. “You guys talk a lot?” She asks curiously. 

“No,” Kelley shakes her head. “We text occasionally but don’t worry, you’re not being replaced,” she says with a wink. “Does it bother you that I talk to your sister?” 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders, “I guess not,” she replies though she’s not exactly sure how she feels about it. It’s a little weird, but she supposes that it shouldn’t be. Honestly, they seem like they’d get along pretty well. 

“We talk about you mostly,” Kelley admits. 

“What about me?” Christen asks with furrowed brows. 

Kelley just shrugs and takes a sip of her coffee. “She likes to make sure you’re doing okay,” she says honestly. “She worries about you and she doesn’t think that you are always honest or tell her everything.” 

Christen sighs and nods her head. She doesn’t really like that Tyler is asking other people about her, but she knows that she’s just worried and that she cares. “And what do you tell her? My whole life?” Christen accuses, feeling a little annoyed. 

Kelley wants to be offended, but she knows that Christen is just upset so she shakes her head, offering Christen a comforting smile. “I don’t tell her much,” she says honestly. “She says that you tell her you’re doing fine and you’re hanging out with us and having fun,” Kelley tells her, raising a brow at her. “And I know that it’s not any of my business but I’ve been worried about you and now I know that you’ve been lying to her.”

“I just don’t want her to worry,” Christen shrugs. “I am doing fine and I don’t need to have friends and live this stereotypical college life that everyone thinks that I need to live,” Christen says, feeling frustrated. “But for some reason it’s a big deal to them so I lie about it. It’s not that big of a deal,” she argues. 

Kelley just nods her head, “Okay.” She says, knowing that she can’t argue if that’s the way that Christen feels. “I just don’t really think you’re doing fine,” she says honestly. 

Christen starts to feel herself getting angry with Kelley and she grabs her coffee cup and stands up from the table, “I have to go,” she mumbles, not really wanting to fight with the girl. Especially not the same fight that she has to have with her family. She’s tired of having to explain herself to everyone and try and convince people that she’s happy with her life and she’s happy not going out to parties and living the typical college life. It’s just not her and there’s nothing wrong with that. 

“Christen don’t go,” Kelley says, feeling guilty. 

“I’ll see you later,” Christen says in response, before briskly walking out of the coffee shop. 

Kelley plops back against her chair and lets out a frustrated sigh, “Idiot,” she mumbles to herself. 

—-

Tobin hobbles down the hallway with a wince, her whole body feeling like it’s been run over by a train. She is about to go into her room and curl up in her bed, but she stops when she notices Christen and Alex’s door open. She knows that she needs to leave Christen alone, but she can’t really help herself. 

She just wants to take a little look and check in on her. 

Plus, she can always claim she’s there to see Alex. 

She peaks her head inside and sees both Christen and Alex inside, on their respected beds. Christen has a bunch of books spread out and she’s typing away on her computer, clearly very concentrated on whatever she’s studying. She’s wearing her glasses again and Tobin can’t help but stare at her with a little smile on her face. She’s just so damn cute that Tobin really can’t help herself. 

Suddenly, she doesn’t even feel the pain in her body. 

Christen is the best cure.

“Tobs?” She hears Alex’s voice say. She quickly pulls her attention away from Christen and looks over at Alex who is staring at her, her brows furrowed. “What’s up?” She asks curiously. 

“Hey,” Tobin says, feeling a bit embarrassed for being caught, basically creeping on them. She’d meant to say something to Alex when she first got there to make it seem like she was there to see her, but Christen had just been too big of a distraction. 

She walks into the room and notices that Christen glances in her direction subtly, but mostly keeps her focus on her computer. 

“What happened to you?” Alex asks in concern, noticing the ice and bandage wrapped around Tobin’s legs. 

Tobin just looks down at her legs and shrugs her shoulders, “Just pushed myself a little too hard,” she admits. 

“You need to be careful,” Alex scolds. “We have the championship game coming up in just a couple of days and you are one of our most important players,” she reminds the girl. 

Tobin rolls her eyes, though she knows that she can’t be upset at Alex for being concerned, “I know,” she sighs. “I’ll be fine. Just a bit sore. I got all checked out,” she assures her. “Nothing is pulled or strained,” she adds. 

“Good,” Alex nods. “But stop being stupid and pushing yourself too hard. We need you,” she says firmly. 

Tobin just nods sheepishly. She knows that it was stupid to push herself as hard as she has been the past couple of days. She’s just been feeling so frustrated and angry and a bunch of other emotions that she doesn’t know how to deal with. So she’s just been running herself to death until she’s too exhausted to even feel anything other than some pain in her body. 

Normally when she was feeling upset over anything or stressed out she’d go and hook up with some random girl. But she hasn’t had it in her to be with anyone in the past couple of weeks. 

Tobin sneaks a glance over at Christen and sees her frowning, her eyes focused on Tobin’s legs. She can tell that Christen’s brain is working on overdrive and she probably wants to get onto her as well, but she’s not surprised that Christen keeps her thoughts to herself. 

Their eyes meet for a brief second and she swears she sees Christen give her a small smile. But it’s quick and then her eyes are back on her computer and Tobin isn’t really sure if she imagined it or not.

“Anyway...ummm Alex? Did you want to go and get dinner or something?” Tobin asks casually, still trying to make it seem like she’d come over here for a reason. And honestly she is pretty hungry. 

“Sure,” Alex nods, pulling her eyes away from her phone. She sits on the side of her bed and starts to put her shoes on. 

Tobin looks back over to Christen, having an internal battle with herself. “Do you want to come?” Tobin asks softly. 

Christen looks up from her computer, a bit caught off guard at the invitation. “No,” she says, shaking her head. She then goes back to typing away on her computer, making Tobin frown. 

Though, she knew that was going to be the answer. She shouldn’t have even asked in the first place, but she also didn’t want to be rude. 

“You have to eat dinner,” Alex steps in, looking over at her roommate. “You’ve been in here studying all day,” she says with a frown. She knows that things are still weird between her and Tobin, but she’s really hoping that things can start to get back to normal soon. She’s also a little worried for her roommate's well being. She’s been studying nonstop and Alex has barely seen her eat anything. 

Christen doesn’t respond, and simply holds up a protein bar, showing them her dinner. 

“That’s not a substantial dinner,” Alex argues with a frown. 

Christen just shrugs, “I’ll be fine. I’ll go and get something from the cafeteria if I get hungry,” she tells her. “I don’t need you to be my mother,” she then says, a bit frustrated. “Just leave me alone.”

Tobin is a little surprised by the smart remark, because Christen has always been so timid and sweet. But, she supposes it’s all the stress that she’s been under. And she doesn’t want to be self absorbed and say that Christen is still upset over her, because she knows that she’s not worth that. But, apart of her also thinks that Christen’s mood has to do with her as well and how stupid she was. 

She hates seeing her like this and she just wants to fix it. But she also knows that when she tries to help, it just makes things worse. 

Alex just rolls her eyes and gives Christen a glare before looking back at Tobin, shaking her head. “Let’s go Tobs,” she says, standing up from the bed. She walks out the door without another word or glance to Christen. 

Tobin stands there a bit awkwardly for a moment, wanting to say something to Christen or make sure that she’s okay, but she also knows that it’s not her place anymore. “I’ll see you later,” she finally mumbles, before following Alex into the hallway. “Let me take this stuff off and get changed,” she then tells her, walking into her own dorm room. 

Alex follows her into the room and sits on Tobin’s bed, “We’re going to get some dinner, want to come?” She asks Ashlyn who is sitting on her own bed, texting on her phone. 

“Sure,” she nods. “What happened to you?” She then asks as she watches Tobin carefully unwrap her legs. 

“I’m fine,” Tobin grumbles, not wanting to hear another lecture from another teammate. She’s already heard it from Alex and she got a pretty good earful from the trainers earlier. 

Alex shakes her head at Ashlyn, letting her know to not push the subject. They both know that she knows what she did is wrong and they also know that Tobin has been a little moody lately. And as much as they want to try and help her, they know that bugging her about it, just makes it worse. 

It’s all about Christen and they know better than to touch that subject. 

“Ali is on her way back from a study session, I’m sure she will be hungry too,” Ashlyn says, throwing her phone onto the bed. 

Tobin doesn’t respond and just continues to wince as she tries unwrapping her legs. 

Alex finally has enough of watching her struggle and stands up, “Sit,” she commands Tobin, pointing to the bed. “Let me do it,” she explains, when Tobin gives her a confused look. 

Tobin just sighs and does as she is told, carefully sitting down, wincing when she feels it in all of her muscles. 

Yeah, she is definitely an idiot. 

But it’s also what she deserves. 

“Be careful,” Tobin groans, when Alex hastily pulls the tape that was stuck onto her skin. 

Alex just rolls her eyes and ignores Tobin, not really caring to be too careful. “Maybe you shouldn’t have done this to yourself,” she mumbles. 

“Ow!” Tobin squeaks, when Alex just lets one of her legs fall before moving onto the other, the movement causing a pain up her whole body. “Ugh, I was doing better myself,” she groans, laying back on the bed, trying to relax her body.

“I’m all done, you big baby,” Alex says with a smirk, standing up from where she’d been kneeling next to Tobin’s bed.

“I’m not a baby,” Tobin mumbles, sitting back up just as Ali walks into the room. 

She leans down and kisses Ashlyn before joining her on the bed, “So we’re going to dinner?” She asks. Ashlyn had texted her while she was walking back from her study session. 

“Yeah, as soon as we get this idiot ready,” Alex says, motioning to Tobin who is just pouting up at her. “Can you get changed by yourself or do you need help?” Alex asks, watching her struggle to get her shirt off of her head. 

“If you wanted to get me out of my clothes all you had to do is ask,” Tobin replies with a smirk, wiggling her eyebrows.

“I literally just asked,” Alex says, rolling her eyes. “Glad to see your sense of humor isn’t damaged.” 

“I’m always down to get naked,” Tobin winks. 

Ali scoffs from across the room, making the girls look over at her. “Do you ever think about anything other than fucking girls?” She asks, annoyed. 

Tobin looks confused and glances over at Ashlyn who just shrugs her shoulders, not really knowing what was wrong with Ali either. “I was joking,” Tobin defends, though she doesn’t really feel the need to. “It’s just Alex,” she then adds as if it shouldn’t be a big deal. 

“Sure,” Ali nods, still sounding annoyed, “But you wouldn’t say no if she did want to sleep with you,” she accuses. 

Tobin again looks caught off guard by the comment and looks over to Alex who looks as confused as the rest of them, but she gives Ali a comforting smile. “Don’t worry Ali, I have no interest in having sex with Tobin,” she assures her. “Again,” she then adds, remembering one drunken night last year. 

“Again?” Ashlyn asks with wide eyes. 

Alex’s eyes widen and she looks over at Tobin. “She doesn’t know?” She asks, almost looking panicked. 

Tobin laughs and shakes her head, “I didn’t tell her,” she says amused by the situation. “I didn’t figure you wanted that out there, but I guess you just did that for yourself,” she says with a smirk. 

Alex groans and sits down on the bed, a blush covering her face. “It was once and we were super drunk and celebrating our gold medal,” she tries to defend. 

Tobin just laughs, not bothered that this new information is out there. 

“Wow so you just plan to make your way through the team?” Ali asks with a glare. 

Tobin’s brows furrow and she looks over to Ali again, “What is going on?” She asks, confused. 

Ali just sighs and shakes her head. “Sorry,” she mumbles, though she’s not really that sorry. “I’ve just been hanging out with Christen more recently and I guess I still don’t like hearing about you and other people with everything that just went down between the two of you. She’s still so hurt and you're just flirting and acting like nothing ever happened. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised though,” she frowns. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Tobin asks, folding her arms across her chest. 

“It means that you are always like this. You just sleep with women and play with their emotions and then go about your day like you did nothing wrong,” she tells her, starting to grow angry again. “Just move on to the next, right?” 

Tobin actually manages to look guilty for a moment before she switches over and just looks annoyed. “What do you want me to do?” She asks, throwing her hands in the air. “I hurt her and I feel like shit for it, okay? But it happened and there isn’t much that I can do about it now,” she tries to tell her. “I’ve apologized and I’ve been giving her the space that she has asked for. It kills me to not be able to talk to her or hug her or see her smile and it kills me that I’m the one that hurt her so much. Is that what you want to hear? I’m devastated and I’m angry with myself but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.” 

“Ali, we can’t punish her forever,” Ashlyn says softly, not really wanting to get in the middle of their argument, but also hating to have to watch them fight. She’s just surprised that Ali is the one getting on Tobin’s case now, after she’d been the one to calm Ashlyn down at first. 

Though she supposes that Ali has been holding this in for awhile now. Especially since she’s been seeing Christen more often and sees just how affected she is from it all. 

“I know,” Ali frowns with a sigh. “You’re just so frustrating sometimes, Tobin. You clearly have feelings for her so why are you punishing both of you?” She asks, still not understanding. Nobody understands it really. 

“I’m punishing myself. Christen will move on and she’ll be better off.” She says, and the girls just roll their eyes, tired of the same answer. “And it’s my business. If I say that I don’t want a relationship then you guys just need to let it be and stop trying to push me into something,” she says frustrated. “And again, not that it’s any of your business but I haven’t hooked up with anyone since I kissed Christen so lay off,” she says firmly. 

“Wait, you kissed her?” Alex asks, still out of the loop. She looks over at Ali and Ashlyn who clearly already know. “Why did I not know this?” 

Tobin just sighs and shakes her head, “Because it’s not your business and I don’t even know how they know,” she says. 

“Christen told me what happened,” Ali informs her. “And then she told Ashlyn when we took her to dinner one night,” she adds.

“Whatever,” Tobin says, rolling her eyes. She’s not pleased that they know all the dirty details, but she’s glad that Christen seems to be talking to people. She’s happy that she has someone, even if they are her friends as well and it makes it a little awkward.

“So you don’t want to be with anyone else but you won’t be with Christen? It makes no sense.” Ali says, getting them back on topic. 

“I don’t know what I want, okay?” Tobin just about screams. “I’m not ready to be in a relationship, but no I haven’t exactly been in the mood to just fuck some random girl. Would you please just let this shit go?” She asks, having enough. 

“Maybe you should get laid,” Ashlyn mumbles, making all the women in the room glare at her. “What? She’s been so uptight lately?” Ashlyn shrugs. “She doesn’t want Christen so why not?” 

“I never said that I don’t want Christen,” Tobin says quickly. 

Ali gives her a smirk, “Well, at least you’ve finally admitted that,” she says a bit smugly. “Now we just have to get down to why you are so against being in a relationship.”

“Oh my god,” Tobin groans loudly, starting to feel her anger flare up. She puts her hands over her face, trying to calm herself down and not go off on her friends. She’s honestly tired of all these interrogations and them trying to push her into something.

“I’m just saying, maybe you should talk to someone,” Ali suggests. “Not us,” she adds when she sees Tobin open her mouth. “I mean a therapist. I’m serious Tobin, you obviously have something going on,” she says, not wanting to upset Tobin, but wanting to be honest.

“I had a therapist when I was in high school,” Tobin rolls her eyes. “It was stupid,” she mumbles.

“Well that was when you were a child. Maybe now that you are an adult you could take it seriously and actually take the help,” Ali suggests. 

“She’s not a child anymore?” Ashlyn smirks, and Tobin just glares at her.

“How about we just go and get some dinner?” Alex asks, trying to break the tension in the room. 

“I’m down,” Ashlyn nods, standing up from the bed. She looks between Ali and Tobin who are just glaring at one another. “Babe? Let’s go get some food,” she says softly, rubbing her hand up and down Ali’s arm in a comforting way. 

“Fine,” Ali finally sighs, breaking her eye contact with Tobin and looking over to her girlfriend. 

“Tobs?” Ashlyn asks, looking over at her friend. 

Tobin just glares for a few more minutes and then sighs. “Fine, as long as you guys promise not to bring Christen up again,” she requests. 

“Deal,” Ashlyn says with a nod and then looks over at Ali encouragingly. 

“Deal,” Ali finally says with a small eye roll. 

They all walk out of the dorm room, in a bit of an awkward silence, still trying to calm down from the tension.

Ashlyn notices Christen studying in her room across the hallway, “Did anyone invite Christen?” She asks, and then immediately regrets it when she feels Tobin glaring at her. “Sorry. I just figure she has to eat too,” she tries to defend with a shrug.

“She said no,” Alex answers for her. “She’s studying.” 

“Okay,” Ashlyn nods and then leads the girls down the hallway to the elevators. 

“I told her that she needs to eat because she’s been studying nonstop for the past week, but she got an attitude with me,” Alex says, rolling her eyes. “She’s seriously so uptight sometimes,” she adds. “Maybe she’s the one that needs to get laid,” she says with a smirk, but the other girls don’t find it amusing. 

Tobin frowns, “Lay off. She’s stressed out about her first championship game and her first semester finals,” Tobin defends, not liking the way that Alex is talking about the girl. 

“I’m just saying. She needs to relax sometimes. You know, learn how to have fun and stop being so serious and high strung all the time,” Alex shrugs. 

“She isn’t serious all the time and she knows how to have fun,” Tobin argues. “She’s actually pretty funny, though she doesn’t think that she is,” Tobin says with a little smile, thinking back to the times they’ve spent together when Christen was relaxed and happy. “But also,” she says, glaring at her friends, “We couldn’t even make it to the elevators without you guys bringing her up?” 

Ashlyn smirks, “Okay, no more Christen talk. Swear,” she says, holding her hands up. 

—

Alex gets back into the room later that night and sees Christen still up studying, which isn’t that surprising even though it’s getting pretty late. Normally Christen has a pretty strict routine and pretty strict bedtime, but Alex has noticed her staying up a lot later than normal lately. 

She just assumes that it’s so she can study longer. Though she’s pretty sure that Christen knows the material backwards and forwards by now.

She chooses not to say anything to the girl and just starts changing into some clothes to sleep in. When she gets herself all situated she climbs into bed and starts to get comfortable when she hears Christen’s voice. 

“I’m sorry that I snapped at you earlier,” she says quietly. 

Alex looks over at Christen in the mostly dark room aside from Christen’s bedside lamp. “It’s okay,” she says, not fully sincere, but also not really that upset over the whole thing. She’d mostly forgotten about the entire exchange. 

“It’s not okay,” Christen replies. “I shouldn’t have talked to you that way. I’m just so stressed out about everything. Finals, and the game all happening at once. It’s a lot to try and prepare for and deal with at once,” she explains to her. “At least for me,” she then adds quietly, knowing that most people wouldn’t get as stressed out as she does. The whole team is dealing with the same thing and she’s really the only one that is struggling with it. 

She’s still just trying to cope with her everyday anxiety, much less the anxiety with all of this extra stress. 

“Christen, I get it, it’s really fine,” Alex assures her. “But you know, it may help you if you’d get out once and awhile and do something fun. Everyone needs a break sometimes,” she tells her. 

Christen just sighs and nods her head, trying to keep her emotions at bay. She’s always had people telling her just to relax and just to have fun, but it’s not that simple. It’s annoying because nobody really understands it, but she also knows that she can’t get upset because again, she knows that they just don’t understand. “I know. I try, but it’s harder for me than it is for most people,” she admits. 

Alex turns over on her side and looks at Christen curiously. “I saw you taking medication the other day,” she says, and she can see from her bed the way that Christen tenses up. “What’s it for?” She asks curiously, though she’s pretty sure she has an idea.

“My anxiety,” Christen answers quietly. “And OCD.” 

“It obviously works,” Alex mumbles and then winces, because even she knows that was fucked up. “Sorry,” she says sincerely. 

“It’s fine,” Christen says, knowing that she wasn’t trying to be mean. “It does help though. Believe it or not, it used to be a lot worse and it can get worse some days than others. But for the most part it just helps make it manageable,” she explains. “Stress makes it worse,” she then adds, knowing she’s been more on edge lately.

“Well I know we aren’t exactly close or anything but if there is anything that I can do or not do, just let me know,” Alex offers, starting to understand her a little better. And honestly, she feels a little guilty for the way she’s treated Christen in the past or talked about her. She didn’t know the full story and it wasn’t fair.

“Thank you,” Christen says, a bit of surprise in her voice. “But don’t worry about me. I wouldn’t make you change anything or sacrifice something just to make me feel better. I’ve been managing this for my whole life. I’m used to it,” she tells her. 

“Does Tobin know?” Alex asks curiously. 

Christen tenses up again at the mention of the girl, “No,” she says shaking her head. “I mean, she knows that I have really bad anxiety and that I get panic attacks sometimes, but she doesn’t know everything,” she says. “It doesn’t matter now anyway,” she says sadly. 

“I know you guys are still working things out or whatever,” Alex says, not exactly sure of their situation or what is going to happen with them. “But, I’m sure she’d want to know and be there for you to talk to,” she suggests. 

“Tobin doesn’t need to worry about me or look after me,” she says a bit defensively. 

“Okay,” Alex says, deciding to drop the topic, not wanting to get her worked up. “Thanks for telling me,” she then says, knowing that it probably wasn’t the easiest thing for Christen to do. 

Christen just shrugs in response, “I just figured that if you’re living with me then maybe you have a right to know,” she tells her. “I know that I’m not the easiest to live with.” She says knowingly. Honestly, she’s debated on saying something to Alex for a while now, she’d just never known how to bring it up. 

“I’ve lived with worse, believe me,” Alex says with a smile, before getting comfortable in her bed. “Night, Christen.” 

“Night,” Christen replies with a small smile, feeling a little more relaxed now that she doesn’t have to worry about hiding her medication from her roommate anymore. And knowing that now maybe Alex will understand her a little better and understand why she does the things she does.

It feels good to have it out there.  
—

Today is the day. 

The big game. 

All of the hard work and stress of the semester comes down to this moment. 

All of the extra practices and almost running herself to death comes to this. 

She’s listed as a sub and she’s pretty sure she’s going to get some minutes in at some point and she’s partially excited, but she’s mostly nervous. This is the biggest game of this season and she’s not sure she’s good enough to carry that responsibility for this team yet. She’s pretty sure there are other players that are more suited. However, her coach feels she is cut out for it so she’s going to try and prove them right. 

She doesn’t talk to any of the girls when she passes them standing in front of the bus talking about how excited they are for today. She just keeps her head down and her mind focused as she makes her way onto the bus, her hand gripping onto the mala beads around her neck. 

To no surprise, she’s the first one on the bus and she automatically finds her usual seat near the back and against the window. She puts her backpack down in between her legs and starts to pull her headphones as well as her journal that she has written down some notes for today’s game.

She just wants to get some last minute strategies down and make sure she’s thoroughly prepared.

Though, she knows at this point, she’s either ready or she’s not.

And she feels ready, she feels confident but there is also that pesky little seed of doubt in her mind, telling her that she isn’t good enough. 

After a few minutes she hears the other girls all climbing onto the bus, finding their seats. Some of them are talking but most of them are starting to get into game mode and putting their headphones in, getting into their zone. 

It’s always a little funny to see the normally loud rambunctious group so quiet on these bus rides.

But as wild as they are, they take football just as serious as she does.

She senses someone standing in the aisle next to her and she looks up to see Tobin staring at her biting down on her bottom lip. She realizes that her and Tobin have been bus buddies all semester and that this is the first game they’ve had to travel for since Thanksgiving break. Not that it’s a very long drive, they’re just going across town, getting the opportunity to play at Providence Park for the championship game. 

“Tobin sit down!” They hear someone yell from the front of the bus, obviously ready to get going.

Tobin just swallows and looks back to Christen, hesitation in her eyes. It’s a pretty big superstition for most of the team to keep the same seat and the same bus buddy the whole season, but Christen’s also sees that Tobin isn’t really sure if she should sit next to her. 

They’re supposed to be having space from one another.

“Just sit down,” Christen finally says with a small sigh. She’s not about to have the entire team get worked up before a big game, just because she doesn’t want to sit next to Tobin. 

Above all else, she’s vowed to put the team in front of everything else. She’s not going to let her relationship drama get in the way of her team and the biggest game of the season. 

That’s why she hadn’t wanted a relationship in the first place.

But of course that annoying pesky little thing called feelings got in the way.

Tobin was definitely on to something when she said they shouldn’t do this. 

Tobin carefully sits down next to Christen, not saying anything to her as she puts her bag away underneath the seat. “Sorry,” she finally says quietly. “I know you don’t really want to be sitting with me,” she says, looking at Christen a bit timidly. 

“It’s fine, Tobin,” Christen assures her. “Can’t mess with superstition right?” She says, and honestly she’s trying to make it seem like that’s the only reason she told Tobin that she could sit down. But really, she’s pretty happy to be so close to her again. And honestly, as much as she doesn’t want to admit it, if anyone can help calm her nerves before this game, it’s Tobin. Even if she doesn’t talk to her, just being near her always gives Christen a sense of calm. 

“Right,” Tobin agrees with a small smile. “So this is exciting right? Getting to play at Providence park?” She asks with a grin. “It’s my dream to play for the Thorns,” she admits. “The fans and the crowd there are insane and it’s so awesome.” 

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” Christen nods, trying to ignore those tingly feelings she gets when she sees Tobin smile. 

“I won’t bother you. I know you like to meditate and stuff before a game,” Tobin then says, making Christen look back over at her. 

Christen just gives her a small appreciative smile and nods her head, before putting her headphones in and laying back against the seat, trying to relax her racing mind.

—-

Christen is sitting quietly in front of her locker, fully dressed and ready to go. She’s got her eyes closed, holding her mala beads close to her chest as she breathes in and out deeply, trying to calm her nerves, though she knows that not much is going to help her right now. She’s never really played in such an important game and she’s a bundle of nerves, wanting to do her best and try and prove herself. 

She senses someone sit down next to her and she knows that it’s Tobin without even opening her eyes. “Are you nervous?” Tobin asks after a moment. 

Christen lets out another deep exhale and opens her eyes to look over at Tobin, “Yeah,” she says softly, nodding her head. 

“Well I know that nothing I say will change how you feel but I know you are going to do amazing,” she tells her with a smile. “And I know that I’m not really supposed to be talking to you, but I had to tell you that,” she says matter of fact.

Christen smiles back at her gratefully, not feeling angry or annoyed at her for coming over. “You’re wearing your beads,” she then points out, noticing the matching mala beads around Tobin’s neck. 

“Oh, yeah,” Tobin smiles, fiddling with the beads. “Can’t lose with these right? They’re my lucky charm now,” She grins. 

“I don’t get how you are so calm,” Christen says with a wistful sigh, wishing that she could be as relaxed as Tobin. 

Tobin just shrugs, “I’m nervous,” she admits. “But, I know we have an amazing team and I truly believe in us,” she tells her with a confident smile. 

“I wish I could be more like you,” Christen says with a frown. 

Tobin just shakes her head, still smiling at Christen, “Nah,” she says, scrunching up her face. “You’re awesome and I like you just the way you are,” she says honestly. 

Before Christen can reply to Tobin, the coach comes into the locker room, telling everyone to gather around for their pre-game talk. 

—-

Christen ends up getting subbed in with 20 minutes left in the game and manages to score them a goal. They were already up by one goal so it wasn’t like she made a game winning goal or anything but she did contribute and she’s never felt more proud of herself. And apparently the team was just as proud by the way they all tackled her and hugged her after her goal. 

Tobin of course being the first to reach her, with the biggest smile on her face.

She’s surprised when a few kids actually have her jersey number and are asking her for autographs after the game. She’s just a college freshman and really didn’t think that anyone knew who she was. Though, it’s not the large groups of fans that Alex, Pinoe and Tobin have, it’s something. 

And they seem pretty convinced that she’s going to actually be a big name pretty soon.

She grins widely at them and takes a few photos before nervously signing their jerseys for them, brightening when they tell her how much they love her and how she’s their favorite player. 

“You have fan’s,” Tobin grins as she walks with Christen back into the tunnel. 

“Look who’s talking,” Christen says playfully rolling her eyes. “I’m pretty sure the whole stadium was wearing your number,” she tells her with a grin. 

Tobin just grins and shrugs her shoulders, “Be proud of yourself, Chris. You did amazing!” She says, slinging her arm around the girl. 

“I am,” Christen says honestly. “I’m proud of all of us,” she then says as the two of them walk into the locker room. 

The girls are expectedly going crazy, loud music already blasting and most of them up dancing around. Tobin just squeezes Christen’s shoulder and grins at her before she joins in with her teammates, celebrating their win.

Christen just goes over to her locker and starts taking her boots and shin guards off as she watches the craziness in front of her. She laughs and feels herself actually having a good time, just watching her crazy team. It’s been a wild semester and she’s glad that they can finally relax and enjoy themselves. She still has finals coming up but she feels a little bit of pressure off of her.

And she’s happy to just watch the chaos, until Kelley pulls her up off the bench. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she shakes her head no, but Kelley keeps a hold of her hands, lifting them up into the air, and dancing with her. Christen can only giggle and join in dancing a bit awkwardly with them. And maybe she doesn’t look as good as the rest of the team, but she’s enjoying herself for the first time in awhile. 

“Kelley, I’m sorry about yesterday,” she says a bit loudly, wanting the woman to hear her over the screams of the other girls. She hadn’t really spoken to Kelley since she stormed out of the coffee shop on her and she felt bad. She just wants to make sure they’re okay. 

Kelley grins and waves her hand, “We’re good, Pressi! Let’s just have some fun!” She shouts, continuing to dance. And Christen can’t help but smile and keep dancing with her. 

“Yes! Pressi’s got moves!” Kelley shouts. 

Christen just blushes as Ashlyn comes up and starts dancing with them as well, throwing her arm over Christen’s shoulders. 

—-

Christen of course gets roped into going out with the team that night. Not that it took much convincing to be honest. She was still on a high from winning their championship game and for the first time, going out with everyone didn’t sound that bad. 

The game had been a bit of a wake up call for her. As much as she misses Tobin and as much as she is still upset over the whole ordeal, she realizes that she doesn’t need Tobin to be happy. She’d won and scored a goal in her first ever college championship game. It’s all the happiness she really needs and she’s not going to let anyone ruin that for her. 

And she has an entire team that supports her and calls her their friend. 

She’s happy and she’s going to start making more of an effort to be the friend that they seem to think she is. She knows that it still won’t be easy but she’s actually going to try and make more of an effort to take some chances and get out of her comfort zone just like she’d promised her family that she would do.

She walks out of her bathroom into the dorm room and hears Kelley whistling at her. She just rolls her eyes playfully, a small blush on her face. She’s used to this reaction from the girls when she actually gets dressed up but it still doesn’t take any of the embarrassment away.

“Damn, you’re so hot,” Kelley says with a sigh, her chin resting on her fist as she looks at Christen from Alex’s bed.

“Stop,” Christen says shyly, ducking her head in embarrassment. 

“And modest,” Pinoe adds with a smirk. 

A minute later, Tobin walks in and stops short when she notices Christen. She’s wearing tight skinny jeans and a crop top t-shirt with her same black boots that she normally wears. And her hair is down all wild and curly just like Tobin likes it.

Tobin was expecting this, but she still forgets how to breathe for a moment.

“You look good,” Tobin finally says, when she realizes that everyone is staring at her. She clears her throat awkwardly and walks further into the room, trying to look as casual as possible. 

“Thanks,” Christen says quietly, trying not to stare back at Tobin. She looks just as good in just a pair of black pants and a tight white shirt. And of course she’s wearing one of her stupid snap backs that Christen rarely sees her out of. Honestly she’s never seen anyone pull off a SnapBack as well as Tobin does. It’s a little infuriating that she can still look so good without even really trying. 

And Christen has to try really hard not to stare at her. 

But that’s nothing new.

“Alright, we need some shots,” Ashlyn says, walking into the room with a bottle of tequila. “Pre-game bitches!” She shouts as she starts pouring the liquid into little plastic cups. 

“Oh no thank you,” Christen says, shaking her head as Ashlyn tries to hand her one. 

“Come on, Pressi! We’re celebrating!” Kelley says, taking a cup for herself and passing one to Alex. 

Christen just grimaces, thinking back to the last time she’d drank. She’d had a little too much and vowed to never drink again. Though she knows logically she’ll probably drink again at some point. 

“Get some liquid courage in you to talk to some hotties tonight,” Sonnet says with a wink, taking a cup of her own. 

Everyone just ‘oo’s’ as Christen blushes a deep shade of red. “I...I’m not looking for anyone tonight,” she informs them, still feeling embarrassed. 

“You never know. Press may have some game,” Pinoe says, sending Christen a wink. “Maybe she doesn’t need liquid courage,” she adds, making everyone else smirk at her. 

Christen can feel the heat radiating off of her body as she carefully takes one of the cups from Ashlyn. She’s not really planning on drinking much but a few sips shouldn’t hurt. Plus, she really just needs a distraction from all of the attention that is on her right now.

“I don’t have game,” she mumbles quietly, looking down at her shoes. She glances over at Tobin to see the girl just frowning into her cup.

“She doesn’t need game. She’s gorgeous. People probably just fall all over her regardless,” Lindsey says with a kind smile.

Christen bites her lip and scuffs her shoe across the floor, not taking her eyes off the ground, “Thanks,” she mumbles softly. 

“Alright, let’s get going,” Ashlyn says, chugging down her shot, the others following suit. Christen just sets hers back down and starts to follow the girls out of the room, happy that the attention is finally off of her. 

She notices Tobin hanging back to walk next to her and she glances over at her. 

“You really do look beautiful,” Tobin tells her. “They’re not wrong,” she adds. 

Christen blushes once again and just smiles shyly at Tobin, “Thanks,” she says quietly, following the girls to the elevator. 

—-

And she knows that she told herself she’s going to step out of her comfort zone and try new things. However, that being said, her anxiety hasn’t just completely disappeared. Which is why she is still sitting in the back corner of the bar at their usual table, just watching her friends dance and celebrate. She’s pretty much spent the night in her same spot except to go to the bar a couple of times and she played a quick round of darts with Kelley.

She won at that again, much to everyone’s amusement and Kelley’s dismay. 

They even got her to have a couple of drinks, though she’s still limiting herself on that after last time. 

And she’s still having a good time. Honestly, she prefers to just sit and relax and watch the rest of her teammates enjoy themselves out on the dance floor. And pretty much the entire time there had been someone sitting with her as they take breaks from dancing and relax a bit. Right now most of the girls are there with her, Ashlyn, Ali, Kelley, Lindsey, Sonnet and even Tobin. 

Tobin has continued to keep her distance tonight which is a little surprising, choosing to sit at the next table over from her when she’s joining the rest of the group. Christen is partially thankful for it, but at the same time, she’s feeling so happy about their win and Tobin is the main person she wants to be celebrating with. 

She likes all of her teammates but Tobin is still the person she wants to share moments like this with.

She can tell that Tobin doesn’t seem like she’s in a great mood either, and Christen can’t help herself from thinking that it’s because she wants to be spending more time with her as well. Though, she knows that may be a little self absorbed. 

Tobin has probably gotten over her by now.

She’s been smiling and talking with their teammates but her smile isn’t quite as big as it normally would be and she’s spent most of the night lounging on the couch rather than dancing and enjoying herself like she normally does during their celebrations. 

Christen wants to reach out to her and talk to her, but she doesn’t. She knows that’s a rabbit hole she doesn’t need to go down. 

“Pressi, that girl at the bar has been staring at you all night,” Kelley says, pulling Christen from her thoughts. 

Christen catches Tobin’s head jerk around to look at said woman, faster than Christen can even think about looking. But then she does look as well and catches the woman looking at her. She gives Christen a smile and waves at her, making Christen blush and look away quickly. 

“She’s hot,” Sonnet smirks, wiggling her brows at Christen. “You should go talk to her!” She encourages Christen. 

Christen sees the frown on Tobin’s face and tries to avoid looking at her, and turns her attention back over to the other girls that are grinning wildly at her. “What? No,” Christen says, shaking her head vigorously. 

“You definitely should,” Kelley agrees, and Christen doesn’t miss the way she sends Tobin a smug look before looking back at Christen with a smile. “Here, take this and go,” she says, passing a shot of tequila over to Christen. 

Christen looks down at it with a frown. She’d been serious about not wanting to get drunk because the last time she’d woken up completely miserable and it had thrown off her entire day. She’s already had one drink and the one that she’s slow sipping on now. 

“Leave her alone,” Tobin speaks up, trying to sound casual. “If she doesn’t want to talk to her she doesn’t have to,” she says, shrugging her shoulders. 

Most of the girls just roll their eyes at Tobin and ignore her, focusing on Christen with big grins. “Come on, she’s hot and she’s obviously into you,” Kelley tries again to convince her. 

“I don’t think so,” Christen says, shaking her head. They’re right about the girl being absolutely gorgeous but Christen is way too nervous to just go and approach a girl that she doesn’t even know. Plus, she’s not really interested in trying to date anyone right now anyway. 

She’s still trying to heal after the short thing with Tobin.

“As much as I hate to admit it, Tobin is right,” Ashlyn speaks up. “Don’t pressure her to do something that she doesn’t want to do,” she adds, sensing how uncomfortable Christen is getting. 

Kelley sighs dramatically but nods her head, “Fine,” she relents, folding her arms across her chest. “But she totally wants you,” she adds with a smirk. 

Christen can’t help but glance back over at the woman, and once again sees her looking at her, a big smile on her face. Christen smiles back at her, but looks away again, blushing pretty hard. 

And thankfully, they let it go after that. Though she’s pretty sure it’s not the end of it. 

—-

Almost an hour later, Kelley and Sonnet join the group again, giggling and looking very suspicious. They keep looking at Christen and whispering between one another. It’s making Christen a little nervous to be honest because she has no idea what they are up to, but she has a bad feeling about it.

“What did you guys do?” Ali finally asks with a sigh, also sensing the two were up to something and probably no good. 

“Nothing,” Kelley answers in a high pitch voice, trying to sound as innocent as possible. 

Though, she sounds very guilty. 

Sonnet starts laughing, which makes Kelley start giggling as well and Christen just grows even more anxious. “Seriously what?” She asks, feeling more tense by the second, her mind running wild on what they could possibly be up to. But, it obviously involves her with the way they keep looking at her. 

“We may have sent the hottie at the bar a drink,” Kelley shrugs, making Christen’s brows furrow. “And said that it was from you,” she adds with a guilty smile. 

“What?” Christen asks with wide eyes. She looks back over to the bar just in time to see the woman receiving a drink from the bartender and the bartender pointing over to Christen. 

Christen feels her entire face turn red and her body starts tingling with embarrassment. “Oh god,” she groans, burying her face in her hands as she tries to sink down into the couch.

“Why would you guys do that?” Tobin asks, sounding a bit angry. She looks over at Christen, concern all over her face, sensing how uncomfortable Christen is getting over all of this. “You guys seriously need to chill. You’re crossing so many lines,” she tells them. 

Kelley just rolls her eyes at Tobin. “You’re just jealous,” she points out. 

“No, you guys are just assholes,” Tobin says, still sounding angry. “You had no right to do that.” She tells them. Maybe she is a little jealous, but mostly she’s concerned for her, knowing how anxious she gets in social situations like this.

Ali senses the tension among the group and scoots closer to Christen, wanting to make sure she’s okay. She puts an arm around her and can feel how tense she is. “I agree with Tobin,” Ali admits. “She said she didn’t want to talk to her, this isn’t cool,” she tells the two friends. 

Kelley sees how uncomfortable Christen is and feels a little bad, realizing she may have fucked up. She had honestly just been trying to help. The woman is hot and clearly into Christen, she just wanted to give her a little nudge, but maybe she’d gone a bit too far. “I’m sorry, Chris,” she says softly, sitting down on the other side of Christen. “I was just trying to help,” she says, though she’s starting to see how wrong she’d been. “I’ll go straighten things out with her, okay?” She offers, though it’s a little too late. 

“Hi,” they hear a voice saying. 

They all look up to see the woman from the bar now standing at their table, looking expectantly at Christen. 

Tobin glares at her, making the woman take a small step back, a little caught off guard by the unwelcoming look. Though, she quickly turns her attention back to Christen, the smile back on her face, much to Tobin’s dismay. 

Christen just stares at her with wide eyes, not really knowing what to say or do. But then Kelley gives her a small nudge, snapping her from her stupor. “Uh...hi,” she stutters. 

The woman just smiles widely at her, “Thanks for the drink,” she says, holding up said drink. “Could I maybe buy you one?” She asks with a slight smirk on her face that just makes her look even hotter. 

“Oh, umm I don’t really drink,” Christen informs her, but then she sees the woman looking down at the drink in her hand. “I mean...I’m only having the two,” she says with an awkward shrug. 

“Okay,” She nods. “Well, if you change your mind come and join me, alright?” She offers, biting down on her lip. She looks Christen up and down for a moment, and then turns around taking her spot back up at the bar. 

Christen is pretty sure she’s been holding her breath through the entire conversation and she finally lets it out, slumping back into the couch, “Oh my god,” she mumbles, feeling completely embarrassed. “I hate you,” she grumbles, glaring over at Kelley. 

Kelley just smirks and shrugs her shoulder, “That wasn’t so bad,” she tries to say. “I still think you should go and talk to her,” she admits. 

“Stop trying to force her to do something she doesn’t want to do,” Tobin says, rolling her eyes. “She’s obviously not interested,” she concludes, feeling a little smug and definitely relieved that Christen didn’t seem interested in the woman. 

And Christen definitely doesn’t miss the smug look on Tobin’s face. 

“Shut up Tobin,” Kelley says, annoyed with the girl. 

“Don’t tell me to shut up,” Tobin frowns. “Don’t be mad at me because your plan didn’t work. You’re the one crossing all these boundaries and making people uncomfortable,” she argues back. 

Christen just tunes them out as they continue to bicker about the whole situation and she looks back over at the woman at the bar. Maybe it’s the alcohol in her system or maybe it’s the fact that she hates that smug look on Tobin’s face but she finds herself wanting to go and talk to the woman. 

It’s not like talking to her is going to do any harm. She doesn’t have to go on a date with her or hook up with her or anything just because they have a conversation. And honestly, everyone’s right when they’ve been saying that she needs to move on from Tobin. And maybe she’s not ready for a relationship with anyone else right now, but there’s no harm in just talking to another woman. Plus, she really wants to get away from Kelley and Tobin’s arguing.

And she really wants to be out from under this hold that Tobin has on her. And to wipe that smug look off of her face. 

Christen grabs a shot from the table that Kelley had ordered and downs it, slamming it back down on the table, breaking up Kelley and Tobin’s argument and making them both look over at her, a little shocked. 

“I’m going to go talk to her,” Christen says, with a nod. 

Everyone’s eyes widen and Kelley bursts out into a huge grin. “Yes, Pressi!” She shouts with excitement, sending Tobin another smug look. 

Christen takes in a deep breath and stands up from her seat, trying to gather up enough confidence to go and talk to the woman. 

But maybe this is a bad idea, maybe she shouldn’t do it. 

She looks over at Ashlyn and Ali who give her smiles and nod their heads, trying to encourage her and tell her that she can do this. 

She also makes the mistake of looking back at Tobin, and seeing a mix of hurt and anger on her face. Half of her wants to sit back down so that Tobin isn’t upset anymore, but the other half of her is just fueled by it to actually do this. Maybe a small part of her wants to hurt Tobin like she’d hurt her. 

As terrible as that is. 

But also, she’s decided to take more chances and try and enjoy the rest of her college career. So she supposes that starts here, tonight.

She takes one more deep breath before walking up to the bar.

“Make sure to tell her we’re national champs!” Kelley yells after Christen with a smirk. “Ugh, I’m so proud,” Kelley says with a wide grin, placing her hand over her chest. 

“Hey isn’t that Jenni Hermoso?” Ashlyn asks, as she looks a little harder at the woman Christen is approaching. 

“Sure is,” Kelley grins. 

“Damn,” Ashlyn says with a low whistle. “Lucky Pressi,” she smirks. “She’s hot, and a fucking beast on the field,” she compliments. 

Tobin lets out a scoff and folds her arms across her chest, sinking down into the couch. “She’s not that good. Or that hot,” she grumbles, though she knows that it’s a complete lie. 

“Shut up, Tobin. I’m tired of your shit tonight,” Kelley says rolling her eyes. 

Tobin looks offended at the comment and sits up a bit on the couch, glaring in Kelley’s direction. “What the fuck is your problem?” She asks, realizing that Kelley had been on her case most of the night. 

“What is my problem?” Kelley asks with a dry laugh. “You really want to know?”

“Yeah, I do,” Tobin replies, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“You have this perfect, gorgeous and talented woman wanting you and you just basically throw it back in her face,” she says, and when Tobin opens her mouth to say something, Kelley puts a hand up stopping her. “No, I’m not finished,” she tells her sternly. “Christen is one of the best people that I have ever met and for some reason she chose you,” she says a bit angrily. “Do you have any idea how lucky you are?” She asks, shaking her head. “Obviously you don’t because you just stepped on her heart like one of your other many women who for some reason see something in you,” she says, not being able to hold it in any longer. “You don’t deserve her and you definitely don’t deserve to be upset when she maybe shows interest in someone else.” 

The entire table goes silent, eyes wide as they look between Tobin and Kelley, nobody really sure what to say or do. 

“Fuck you, Kelley,” Tobin just says in response, standing up from the table. She knows that Kelley is 100 percent right and honestly she’s not even angry at her. She’s pissed off at herself because Kelley is right. She definitely doesn’t know why Christen chose her of all people, but Christen definitely deserves better. 

Without another word, Tobin just walks up to the other end of the bar, opposite the side Christen is on and orders herself another drink. She takes a seat on one of the barstools, deciding to just have a few drinks by herself. She really doesn’t want to face Kelley or her other friends right now. 

It doesn’t take long before a random brunette is walking up to Tobin with flirty eyes. She leans on the bar next to Tobin and gives her a smile, “Hey Tobin,” she greets as if they know each other. 

Tobin doesn’t move her head, but gives the woman a side glance. She doesn’t know the woman at all, but she assumes she’s a fan of soccer, since she knows who she is. Or Tobin’s reputation has really gotten around, which wouldn’t be that surprising. 

“Can I buy you a drink?” The woman offers, the smile still on her face, though Tobin isn’t really paying her much attention. 

“No thank you,” Tobin says, turning back to look down at the drink in front of her. 

“Okay, well do you want some company?” The woman asks, clearly not being able to take a hint. 

“I really don’t,” Tobin says honestly and a bit harshly. 

The woman just scoffs at Tobin and stalks away from the bar, clearly annoyed that she hadn’t gotten the attention she wanted. 

Tobin glances down to the other end of the bar and can see Christen smiling shyly at Jenni as the woman talks to her, a blush on her cheeks. It makes Tobin feel like she’s going to throw up. “Fuck,” she sighs before downing the rest of her drink. 

That smile of Christen’s is the one that she used to give Tobin. 

One she’s only ever seen Christen give her. 

But not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright there it is! 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts and if I haven't lost everyone! If you are still interested in this and where it's going! 
> 
> Love you all! Come talk to me on tumblr! Dope1723


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I worked hard to get this chapter out! I kind of lost inspiration for this story, but I think I have gotten it back! 
> 
> I know most of you probably don't remember what was going on in this and neither did I lol. I had to go reread it to get my flow back. 
> 
> So just a quick run down...
> 
> Tobin kissed Christen at her parents house over Thanksgiving and then turned down her offer to go on a date, saying she still didn't want a relationship. Christen has asked her for some space to try and get over her feelings so that is where they are at the moment.   
> Also, Christen took a leap and went to talk to Jenni at the bar!

“I’m Jenni,” the woman says with a big smile and a thick accent, looking across from her at Christen who has just sat down next to her with a nervous smile. 

“I know,” Christen nods, “I mean...I’m sorry that was really creepy... I just...You play for the Thorns and on the Spain National Team,” she says with an embarrassed laugh, feeling even more embarrassed now that she realizes she’s rambling. “You’re really good,” she blushes, and tries to stop talking. Honestly, she’s been a fan of this woman for awhile now, which makes her even more nervous. It’s not just some pretty girl that was hitting on her. It’s Jenni freaking Hermoso. 

Jenni just smiles even wider at Christen, “And I know who you are, Christen Press,” she says back with a wink. 

Christen’s eyes widen, “You do?” She questions, not really believing it, though it should be obvious since she knows her name and Christen hadn’t even told her. 

“I do. You are really good too,” she compliments. “Me and the girls have gone to a lot of your games this year, when we can,” she informs her. “You guys had a great season,” she then says with a smile. 

“You guys come to our games?” She questions, never realizing there had been Thorns players in the stadium. She wonders if the other teammates know that.

“Yeah,” Jenni shrugs. “Quite a few of the girls played at the University of Portland so they dragged us all there.” She says. “Well, it’s not really dragging because I enjoy watching you guys,” she adds. “I’m sure that a few of you will be playing with us soon. Hopefully you are one of them,” she says with a smile. 

“Oh I don’t think I’m ready to go professional,” Christen says shaking her head. “I want to graduate,” she then says. 

Jenni just nods, “You are definitely good enough but I admire you wanting to finish school,” she tells her. “But anyway, let’s talk about something other than football yeah? I want to get to know you,” she says with a charming smile. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, and then starts to get nervous. Talking about soccer is easy. She could talk about soccer all day long. But she doesn’t really know how to talk to a stranger about anything else. Suddenly her mind is drawing a blank and she feels her anxiety tingling throughout her body. 

What do normal people even talk about? And, how do people do this kind of thing on a regular basis? 

“Where are you from?” Jenni asks as she takes a sip of her drink. 

“L.A,” Christen responds with a smile, thinking back to her home on the beach and her family. 

Jenni nods and smiles back at her, “I love L.A. I’ve been a few times,” she tells her. “It must have been nice growing up there,” she states. 

“It was,” Christen smiles, “But I’m sure it’s nothing like growing up in Spain. I’ve always wanted to go there,” she tells her honestly. 

“It’s beautiful, Jenni nods with a wistful smile. “I miss it, but I do also like it here in Portland,” she tells her. “I’ve met a lot of great people here,” she says. “It’s full of beautiful women,” she says, giving Christen a wink. 

Christen can’t help but blush at the comment, looking down shyly. She clears her throat, trying to contain her nerves and looks back up at Jenni, “Tell me about Spain,” Christen asks with a hopeful smile, wanting to hear more about the beautiful country that this woman is from. 

Jenni lets out a small laugh and leans back against her chair, “Oh where to begin,” she says with a grin. 

On the other side of the bar, Tobin is still wallowing in her own self pity as she downs another shot. She orders a beer and then decides to just go and face her teammates again because honestly she’s tired of sitting by herself. Plus, another girl had approached her and she’s getting tired of that as well. Normally, she’d be all for pretty girls coming up to flirt with her, but right now she’s really not in the mood.

A part of her just wants to flirt with someone to get her mind off of Christen, but honestly she has no desire to flirt with anyone or take a girl home with her tonight and it just feels exhausting having to try and fake it right now. She’s in a bad mood tonight, which means she really doesn’t have any patience for random women flirting with her. She’s not sure she could sit for very long, listening to them talk about themselves or other things that she has no interest in. 

She grabs her beer and makes her way back over to the table, happy when it’s just Ashlyn, Ali and Pinoe sitting there and the other girls have moved over to the dance floor. At least they won’t give her as hard of a time as Kelley. 

“We saw those two girls trying to talk to you,” Pinoe says with a smirk. 

“Yeah and then storm away angry. What did you say to them?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

Tobin just shrugs and takes a sip of her beer. “I just told them I wasn’t interested. I didn’t do anything,” she says. 

The girls look a bit surprised but then give each other knowing looks. Tobin is definitely having feelings for Christen, but they aren’t positive that Tobin has even realized how deep they are getting or if she’s still just being stubborn and trying to ignore them. They honestly don’t know if she realizes that’s probably why she has no interest in other women at the moment, but they also know that they don’t need to bring it up or pressure her about it. 

They’ve learned that the hard way and now they know they just need to leave her alone and hope that she works it out on her own. 

—-

“Yo, Pressi seems to be having a good time over there,” Sonnet says with a smirk, nodding her head over towards Jenni and Christen, who are both laughing, looking at each other with big grins. 

Tobin glares over at the two of them, and sinks down against the couch, taking another sip of her beer. She honestly hasn’t been able to keep her eyes off of the two and she’s been resisting the urge to go over and knock Jenni off of that bar stool. She knows that Jenni doesn’t deserve that and she’s probably a great person, but Tobin doesn’t really care who it is at this point. She doesn’t want anyone flirting with her girl like that. 

But that’s the thing. 

Christen isn’t her girl. 

She’d ruined her chances with that. 

And she knows that it’s her fault, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. If anything it’s worse, because if she hadn’t been so stupid then maybe Christen would be over here laughing and smiling at her like that. She’d practically been the one to send her over into Jenni’s stupid tattooed arms. 

“Good for her,” Ali says with a smile, glancing over at Christen and then back to the group, not really wanting to stare. “She deserves someone who likes her and will make her happy,” she says, and can’t help but give Tobin a small glare. 

“I’m honestly surprised she went over there,” Ashlyn comments with furrowed brows. 

Kelley just smirks, “liquid courage,” she tells them. “Plus, I’m sure it was an added bonus to piss Tobin off,” she laughs. 

Tobin just glares at her, “Christen isn’t petty like that,” she says, rolling her eyes. “But, I’m glad that she’s enjoying herself. Ali’s right, she deserves it,” she says, trying to sound as convincing as possible. It’s true that Christen deserves it and she’s really trying to be okay with it, but she’s definitely not. 

“Maybe, Pressi really does have some game,” Pinoe says, wiggling her brows. “Jenni is loving her,” she adds, glancing back over at the couple to see Jenni leaning in towards Christen as she talks. 

“Who wouldn’t like her?” Tobin asks with a small shrug. 

“You’re right. She’s like the perfect woman,” Kelley agrees. “You fucked up,” she then adds, making Tobin just scoff at her. 

“Pretty sure she knows that,” Ashlyn points out. 

“Can we please talk about something other than Christen?” Tobin suggests with a sigh. 

“Sure. We can talk about how hot Jenni Hermoso is,” Kelley says with a wicked grin. 

“Oh my god,” Tobin groans, sinking down even further into the booth, completely over her friends. 

—

“I should probably get back to my friends,” Christen says, once she’s realized that she has been talking to Jenni for quite awhile. She honestly didn’t know what she’d been expecting when she came over here, but she definitely didn’t expect to be over as long as she has been or to be enjoying herself as much as she is. 

Jenni is just really easy to talk to and actually makes Christen feel comfortable. She’s still a little tense and definitely nervous, but it’s not nearly as scary as she thought it would be. And she’s terrible at coming up with conversation starters, but Jenni has continued talking to her and asking questions and keeping the conversation going, which Christen really appreciates. She’s making it easy for Christen to converse with her and not feel too awkward. 

“Okay,” Jenni nods with a small disappointed smile. “I hate to stop talking to you, but I understand that you want to celebrate with your teammates,” she tells her with a grin, wanting her to know that she’s not upset and she understands. 

“I liked talking to you,” Christen finds herself saying, and then blushing right after. 

Jenni just grins even wider at her, “I liked talking to you too,” she tells her honestly. “Can I ask you a question?” 

Christen looks at her a bit nervously, but nods her head, “Sure.” 

“Is Tobin your ex-girlfriend or something?” She asks curiously. 

Christen’s eyes widen at this and she shakes her head furiously. “What? No, she’s not,” she tells her honestly. “Why?” She then questions curiously, not really sure why she’d ask that. 

“Well when I came over to speak to you she was glaring at me and looked a bit angry. It was kind of intimidating,” she starts to explain. “And she hasn't’ stopped looking over here since you joined me,” she then adds with a small smirk. “She’s just kind of acting like a jealous ex or something,” she then says with a shrug. 

Christen furrows her brows and then glances over towards their table and sure enough sees Tobin staring at them. Though, she quickly looks away when her and Christen make eye contact. “We never dated,” she tells Jenni honestly. “We’re just teammates,” she assures her. A part of her feels the need to explain to Jenni that they did have something between them though it never turned into anything. But then she also decides that’s not something she can easily explain or is probably necessary to explain to a stranger. 

“Okay well in that case, could I possibly get your number?” Jenni asks with a charming smile. 

Christen bites down on her lip, her face turning bright red. 

“You don’t have to,” Jenni assures her, seeing the conflict on Christen’s face. 

“I want to,” Christen says quickly, making Jenni look at her curiously. “I just...I’ve never really dated anyone or done this before,” she admits shyly. “I don’t really know what to do or how good I’d be at it,” she says. 

“Well there is no pressure,” Jenni assures her. “I’d just like to get to know you a little. Maybe grab some dinner or even just a coffee,” she suggests. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, with a smile. “That sounds nice,” she says, and is honestly surprised at how nice it actually does sound. She’d sort of just come over here to do something to get out of her comfort zone and also maybe to make Tobin a little jealous, but she wasn’t expecting anything to actually come out of it. Or for her to even want anything out of it. 

But she actually does want to see Jenni again. 

“Here,” Jenni says, passing her phone over to Christen. “Put your info in there,” she instructs her. 

Christen just nods and puts her name and phone number in Jenni’s contacts before passing the phone back over to her. 

“Great, I’ll text you soon, okay?” She says with a wide grin. “It was really nice to meet you, Christen.” 

“It was nice to meet you as well,” Christen grins, blushing again, under the intense gaze that Jenni is giving her. She can see the woman looking her up and down and Christen shift a bit uncomfortably, feeling a little self conscious. But then Jenni’s eyes meet hers again and she’s giving her a beautiful smile that makes Christen feel a little tingly inside. 

Christen clears her throat a bit awkwardly and gives Jenni one last smile before she a bit awkwardly, turns and heads for the table where most of her teammates are gathered around. 

When she gets over to the table, she sees most of them smiling widely at her. “Yes, Pressi!” Kelley shouts proudly, pulling Christen down to sit next to her. She throws her arm around Christen and ruffles her hand through Christen’s hair with an excited grin. 

Christen grimaces and pushes Kelley away from her but can’t help chuckle a bit at her, her face turning bright red from all the attention. 

“How was that? Did you get a date?” Pinoe asks, wiggling her brows. 

“Uh...” Christen says shyly, glancing over at Tobin who is looking anywhere but at her. She turns her attention over to the rest of the group. “I gave her my number and she wants to hang out. She said she will text me,” she informs them, making a few of them squeal in excitement. 

“You’re so lucky! Jenni is hot,” Kelley says, with a smirk. 

“I think Jenni is the lucky one,” Ali says, sending Christen a sweet smile. 

Christen just blushes again and takes a sip of her drink, not really knowing what to say. “Thanks,” she mumbles, quietly, feeling a little embarrassed to have all the attention on her. 

“Obviously, Jenni is lucky,” Kelley agrees. “You guys would make a super hot couple,” she comments. She sees Tobin practically fuming next to her and is surprised that the beer bottle in her hand hasn’t busted yet, considering how tight her grip around it is. 

“Seriously though...” Sonnet says, glancing over at Jenni and then back to the group, “Those tattoos? That accent? Oh...” she groans, putting a hand over her heart.

The girls just laugh at her and Christen blushes a bit more, thinking about how right she is. Jenni really is hot and she was really sweet too. She honestly didn’t think she’d have any interest in anyone for awhile or maybe even ever after Tobin, but she can’t help but think that maybe she was wrong. 

She’s still not sure she wants to get into a relationship right now and she doesn’t even know Jenni but she is starting to convince herself that it may be worth just hanging out with her. 

“And she’s the Thorn’s best player. Not to mention the Spain national team,” Pinoe speaks up with a smile. 

Tobin scoffs at that, “We kicked their ass the last time we played them,” she rolls her eyes. 

“And we are thrilled that you guys won,” Ashlyn nods. “But, I wouldn’t say it was an ass kicking,” she reminds her, considering they only won by one goal. “And either way, it doesn’t mean that she’s not a badass player,” she says with a small smirk, knowing that all this talk about Jenni is just pissing Tobin off. 

But it’s what she deserves. 

“Whatever,” Tobin says, rolling her eyes again. She downs the rest of her beer and stands up from the couch. “I’m going back to the dorms, I’m tired,” she informs them, before walking up to the bar to close her tab without another word to the group. 

Christen’s eyes follow her up to the bar, a frown on her face. She’d wanted to make Tobin a little bit jealous, but honestly she hadn’t wanted to hurt her. And maybe it’s what she deserves because of how much she’d hurt her, but it’s still not what Christen wanted. She’s never really been one for revenge or to be petty. 

With a sigh, she looks back to the group and sees Ali giving her a comforting smile. Christen just smiles back the best she can, trying not to let Tobin bring down her mood. 

She’d accomplished a lot tonight and she’s proud of herself. 

She contributed to their win in the championship game, she’d gone out to the bar with her teammates without much pressure from the team and she’d gone over and talked to a woman she’d never met before. And even gave said woman her phone number.

She’s feeling pretty proud of herself and she’s not going to let Tobin get her down. 

“Hey,” she hears a voice say next to her, snapping her from her thoughts. She sees that Ali has moved from her spot and is now sitting next to her. “So are you actually going to go and hang out with Jenni?” She asks curiously, and also quietly, so that the other girls aren’t listening. 

It’s a private conversation and Christen appreciates it. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders, giving Ali a shy smile, at the question. She’s honestly not sure if she is going to go through with it, but a part of her wants to at least get to know Jenni a bit, even if nothing comes out of it. 

“I kind of want to,” she finally says quietly. 

Ali just grins at her, “That’s great,” she says, nodding her head. “But, you know that you don’t have to, right? I mean, I’m all for you moving on from Tobin and possibly finding something else, but you don’t have to rush anything or do anything that you aren’t comfortable with,” she explains to her. 

And Christen knows that her and Ali just had this conversation and Christen had stated that she wasn’t ready to date anyone or even think about it. And she’s still not sure she wants to but she’s open to the possibility. “I know,” Christen nods. “I don’t really know if I want to date her or if I even like her, but I kind of want to get to know her,” she explains. “She was really nice and I liked talking to her,” she reveals, making Ali grin even wider. 

“That’s great,” she smiles. “Let me know when you set a date. I’ll help you get ready,” she says happily. 

Christen just giggles. “Okay,” she nods, feeling happy that she has a friend like Ali and someone that will support her and help her. She’s never really had a friendship with anyone or gotten to do these kinds of things that normal girls do with each other. 

Christen looks back over towards the bar and sees Tobin walking out the door without another look or word to her teammates. She strongly has to resist the urge to follow her and make sure that she’s okay. But she knows that she shouldn’t worry about Tobin. Tobin had hurt her and she shouldn’t care if Tobin is hurt now. 

It’s just not how she’s wired. 

“Tobin will be fine,” she hears Ali say softly next to her. 

Christen just looks back at Ali, trying to act like she has no idea what Ali is talking about, but Ali gives her a knowing look and Christen knows that Ali knew what she’d been thinking. “I know,” Christen says with a small sigh. 

“I know you don’t want to upset her or think she deserves to be upset but she kind of did this to herself,” Ali reminds her. “You deserve to be happy and not hold back on Tobin’s account,” she tells her. 

“You’re right,” Christen nods. “But, it’s still hard to see her upset,” she admits quietly. 

Ali just nods and puts her arm around Christen giving her a little side hug. “You’re too good for this world,” she tells her with a fond smile. “Now come on, let’s just enjoy the rest of the night,” she says, giving her a little squeeze, before letting her go to join in with the rest of the group's conversation. 

—-

After the night at the bar, Tobin and Christen don’t have much communication with each other. They don’t have any more practices scheduled until after they get back from Christmas break so now Christen is really just focused on studying and passing her final exams. 

She’s thankful for the space she’s getting from Tobin but at the same time, she still finds herself missing her. But she has also been so distracted by studying that she hasn’t had much time to dwell on it. 

She has still made time for her morning yoga sessions though, because she’s decided that it’s important for her mental health, especially with how stressed out she is over her exams. 

Which is where she’s coming from this morning. Ali hadn’t joined her and though she has gotten used to having her presence there it’s still nice to sometimes get to do it alone and have some peace just being by herself. 

When she walks out of the gym, she sees Tobin standing outside the door juggling a soccer ball. She furrows her brows and looks up at the woman that she hadn’t spoken to in a couple of days. “What are you doing?” She asks curiously, knowing it’s a lot earlier than Tobin would normally be up and about. 

“Hey,” Tobin just grins, letting the ball fall to the ground. “I was waiting on you,” she tells her matter of fact. 

Christen just looks even more confused. “Why?” 

Tobin shrugs, her grin fading just slightly as she shifts a bit awkwardly, suddenly not sure if this was the best idea. “I don’t know, I’ve missed you,” she says honestly. “You’ve been pretty busy so I thought maybe I could catch you for a few minutes after yoga,” she explains. 

Christen just slowly nods her head, “Well...you have me...” she says, still not really sure exactly what it is that Tobin wants. And she’s definitely not going to admit that she misses Tobin as well. 

They’re supposed to be having space from each other and she thought that Tobin was respecting that. 

Though, she supposes that Tobin has lasted a lot longer than she thought she would.

“Right,” Tobin says, feeling a bit uncomfortable. Maybe this really hadn’t been a good idea. But she’d really wanted to see Christen and she figured this was her best chance. She’s barely spoken to her in the past few weeks and now they are going to be leaving for Christmas break in just a week and she wants to try and spend some time with her. “Do you want to get coffee or something?” She asks hopefully. 

“I really need to shower and get some studying done. I have my first exam tomorrow,” she tells her. 

“So that probably means that you need some caffeine,” Tobin says with a grin, not willing to back down so easy. “Come on, it’ll be quick,” she assures her. “We’ll get it to go,” she adds, trying to convince her. 

Christen just sighs, but nods her head. Tobin isn’t wrong, she could really use some caffeine and maybe she wants to spend some time with Tobin as well. Though, she’s still not going to admit that out loud. “Fine,” she relents, and starts walking down the sidewalk, heading in the direction for the cafe. 

Tobin just grins even wider, and happily follows Christen, catching up with her to walk beside her. “So uh...how have you been?” Tobin asks, not really sure what to say to the girl. 

“I’ve been okay,” Christen shrugs. “Just cramming for finals,” she responds. 

“Yeah, me too,” Tobin nods, and Christen just looks at her with a raised brow. “What? I study too,” she informs her with a small grin, amused that Christen wouldn’t think so. “I know it may not seem like it, but I actually want to do well too,” she tells her. “I mean, I don’t necessarily care about getting a 4.0 gpa or anything, but I don’t want to fail,” she explains. “Besides, if I do fail then I don’t get to play,” she adds. 

“Well, if you need help studying just let me know,” Christen says, before she can stop herself. She’s not really sure why she would offer that because for one, she shouldn't really be spending extra time around Tobin and two, she doesn’t really have the time to be helping someone else right now when she needs to study herself. However, if Tobin does need the help, she wants to be there for her. She wants Tobin to succeed as well. 

“I may take you up on that,” Tobin says, nudging the girl with a grin. Though she knows she probably won’t bother Christen with it. She’s just happy that the girl is offering. 

They get to the coffee shop a few minutes later and Tobin opens the door for Christen, letting her walk inside. She then follows the girl up to the counter and quickly pulls her card out, paying for both of their drinks before Christen can protest. She doesn’t miss the little scowl on Christen’s face though. It just makes her grin even wider, because the girl is too adorable. 

As they are waiting off to the side for their coffee, there is a bit of an awkward silence, neither girl really knowing what to say to each other. Neither of them like how awkward it is to be in each other’s presence considering how close they were and how much they used to love being together, but after everything has happened, neither of them really know how to act anymore. 

“So how was your date with the girl from the bar?” Tobin asks, trying to sound casual. 

Christen just raises a brow at her, before turning her attention back to the ladies behind the counter, making all the coffee’s, not really wanting to look at Tobin. “I haven’t gone out with her,” Christen answers simply. 

Tobin tries not to show her excitement at that information and just nods her head, still trying to seem casual. “Oh, I just thought you were going to,” she responds. Maybe, Christen wasn’t actually going to go out with her and Tobin doesn’t have anything to worry about. 

“I am,” Christen answers, making Tobin frown again. “I mean...I might...I don’t know, I haven’t really thought much about it. I’ve just been really busy,” she explains to her. 

“Oh...well has she called you or anything?” Tobin asks, and she’s not really sure why she keeps asking about Jenni, because she really doesn’t want to hear about Christen and another woman. But at the same time, she wants to know everything and know what is going on with them. 

“Yes,” Christen nods, still not looking over at Tobin. “We are just going to have coffee. She told me to let her know when I’m free,” she informs her. “I told her that I’ve just been pretty busy studying,” she adds. 

Tobin just lets out a hum, not thrilled with the info, but also she knows she doesn’t have a right to say much else about it. 

“Do you really want to keep talking about Jenni?” Christen asks knowingly, finally looking back over at Tobin. 

“No,” Tobin answers quietly. “I just...I was trying to be nice or supportive or whatever,” she says, shrugging a bit awkwardly. “I don’t actually want to hear about it,” she admits. 

Christen just nods, and turns her attention back to the barista’s, an awkward silence falling over them again. 

“It kind of sucks seeing someone you like with other people,” Christen finally says, boldly. 

Tobin visibly flinches at that and sighs. 

She deserved that. 

“Well for what it’s worth, I haven’t been with anyone else since that last time you saw me bring a girl home,” she tells her. 

“Well maybe you should,” Christen says simply. 

Tobin just frowns and shakes her head, “I don’t want to,” she tells her softly. 

Christen just sighs loudly and taps impatiently on the counter, really wishing the coffee shop wasn’t so busy and she could just grab her coffee and get out of here. “You can do whatever you want, Tobin,” she tells her, feeling a bit annoyed. “I don’t care anymore,” she says, looking back at the girl. 

And it’s a lie of course, but she holds the stoic face as best as she can. 

She almost breaks when she sees the hurt on Tobin’s face. But thankfully, the barista puts their coffee’s on the counter with a smile and Christen grabs hers before heading for the door of the coffee shop. She hears Tobin walking behind her, and she glances back to see the girl looking like a kicked puppy, slowly following her. 

She really wants to wrap her up in a big hug and tell her that everything is okay. 

But she doesn’t. Because it’s not. 

“Thanks for the coffee,” she decides to say simply, turning back to fully look at the girl. “I’m going to head to my room though and study,” she says. 

“Yeah, sure,” Tobin says quietly, with a nod. “Just let me know if you need another pick me up or something,” she tells her, giving her a small smile, trying to make things between them a little less tense. 

“Sure,” Christen nods, before walking away from Tobin and heading back to her dorm. 

Tobin just sighs and goes in the opposite direction, not really knowing where she is heading, but she doesn’t feel like hanging out in the dorm right now. 

—-

When Christen gets up to her room, she sees Ashlyn, Kelley and Pinoe hanging out in her dorm with Alex. She sighs, knowing she’s going to have a hard time getting any studying done with them in the room. Though, she knows that she has no right to kick them out. It’s just as much Alex’s room as it is hers, and she can have people over if she wants. 

“Hey guys,” she greets them, walking to her side of the room and putting her yoga mat away. She places her coffee cup down on her desk, before pulling out some of her text books to try and get some studying done. 

“Sup, Pretty Pressi?” Kelley asks with a grin. “We were about to go and get some breakfast,” she tells her. “I see you have already gotten coffee though,” she says, nodding towards the cup. 

“Oh yeah, me and Tobin went to the cafe and grabbed a quick coffee,” she says, before she can stop herself. 

“Tobin, huh?” Pinoe asks with a slight smirk. 

“You guys are talking again?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

Christen just sits down on her bed, pulling some books into her lap, “I guess,” she answers simply. “She asked if I wanted to get coffee and I needed some. We just grabbed it to go,” she explains to them with a slight shrug. 

“What about Jenni? Anything happening with her?” Kelley asks with a grin. “Please tell me you are going to go out with her,” she adds, almost sounding desperate. 

“We’ve text back and forth a couple of times but that’s it,” Christen responds. “She wants to go and get coffee with me, but I told her I’ve been pretty wrapped up in studying for exams so she told me to just let her know when I am free,” she tells them. 

“So go! Stop putting it off!” Kelley tries to encourage her. 

“I’m not putting it off,” Christen says, though they all know it’s not the whole truth. “I really am busy. I have exams all week and I need to be prepared,” she informs them. 

“Please, you are the smartest person at this school,” Kelley waves her off. “And you can afford to take a coffee break,” she tells her. 

“I agree,” Alex speaks up. “I get needing to study but you need to get out of this room,” she says, and when Christen opens her mouth to protest, Alex stops her. “No, you go and work out in the morning for like an hour and then you don’t leave again except to get food and half the time you don’t even do that,” Alex says, narrowing her eyes. 

“Pressi, you need to take better care of yourself,” Ashlyn repreminds her. 

Christen just sighs, “I’m fine,” she grumbles, though she knows that taking a quick coffee break won’t hurt. She’s just nervous to actually go out with Jenni. She really wants to but the other night, she’d had some alcohol in her system and it made talking to her a lot easier. Now she’s just a nervous wreck and has no idea how to act on an actual date. 

“Are you nervous to hang out with her?” Ashlyn asks in a knowing tone. 

Christen shrugs her shoulders, avoiding all of their eyes. 

“Aw, Pressi! That’s adorable,” Kelley gushes, moving from Alex’s bed over to Christen’s, giving her a smile. “But you shouldn’t be nervous. You are awesome and she’s going to love you,” she assures her. 

“I uh...I’ve never been on a date,” Christen reveals. Unless hanging out with Tobin counts, but she’s not so sure that it does. And besides, by the time she had feelings for Tobin, they’d already been friends. She knew Tobin and was comfortable with her. She’s never been out with someone that she doesn’t know. It’s terrifying. 

“Never?” Pinoe asks with wide eyes. 

Christen just blushes and shakes her head. 

“That’s not that surprising,” Alex comments, making the other girls glare at her. “What? It’s not,” she shrugs. She hadn’t meant it as an insult but she definitely isn’t surprised. 

“Don’t worry about it. You spent at least half an hour talking to her the other night and she’s clearly already interested in you,” Kelley tells her. “You just go have some coffee and be your adorable self, she’s going to love you,” she adds with a confident smile. “I mean you got me and Tobin interested, you are clearly doing something right,” she jokes. 

Christen just blushes even harder at that. 

“Wait, you were into Christen?” Alex asks with furrowed brows. 

“Keep up, Morgan,” Kelley sighs, but gives the girl a smirk. “Who wouldn’t be into Pretty Pressi?” She questions with a grin. 

Alex just furrows her brows, but keeps her comments to herself. 

“Come on, text her!” Kelley encourages, grabbing Christen’s phone and handing it to her. 

“I already have coffee,” Christen frowns. 

“So just make a plan for tomorrow or later today,” Pinoe says, joining in on encouraging her to go out with the woman. 

Christen chews on her bottom lip and stares at the phone in her hand. She can feel her anxiety flaring up inside of her and her heart start beating a bit faster in her chest. “I-....” she says, trying to think of any reason to protest, but she finds none. “Okay,” she sighs, nodding to herself and trying to boost her confidence a bit. “I can do this,” she says, though she doesn’t feel like she can. 

“You can,” Kelley says confidently, giving her a little pat on the back. 

“What do I even say?” Christen asks with furrowed brows. 

“Just tell her when you are free to get together, it doesn’t have to be anything extravagant,” Ashlyn says, before Kelley gets the opportunity to give her something stupid to say like a dumb pick up line or something. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, opening up her messages. 

She types out her message and then chews on her lip, her finger hovering above the send button. 

“Send it!” Kelley says impatiently. 

Christen startles at the outburst and lets her finger drop down, sending the message. “Oh god....I sent it,” she says, looking up at them, terrified. 

“Great,” Kelley grins, satisfied. “That wasn’t so hard,” she adds. 

Christen just groans, not fully agreeing with that statement. 

—-

Christen ends up getting some studying done when the girls finally leave her room to go and get some breakfast and thankfully they don’t return for the rest of the afternoon. Not that she minds their company, but she’s grateful that she actually got some peace to study. 

And now it’s time to start getting ready for her coffee date with Jenni and she’s sort of freaking out about it. 

She’s pacing her dorm room, trying to hype herself up to go and trying to talk herself out of texting Jenni and canceling on her. But she’s feeling so much anxiety over it that she thinks she may have a panic attack.

She doesn’t even notice Tobin’s whistling from down the hallway or her show up in her doorway. 

Tobin had been coming back from the fields, and just glanced inside of Christen’s room as she found herself doing most of the time when she came back. It’s not like she’s trying to be creepy but she can’t help herself from trying to capture a glimpse of the girl when the door is open.

She’s only human. 

But today, she sees Christen pacing her room, mumbling under her breath and frantically moving her arms around, looking upset. 

It worries her so she decides to check up on her. 

“Hey Chris,” she says, slowly stepping inside the room, not wanting to startle the curly haired woman. 

Christen spins around, eyes wide as she looks at Tobin. She swallows hard and Tobin can see her body start to shake. 

Tobin isn’t really sure what is wrong with her, but she quickly rushes into the room, pulling Christen into a hug. “Hey, it’s okay,” she says, soothingly, running her fingers through Christen’s hair. “I’ve got you,” she says softly, holding Christen close to her. 

Christen takes in a deep, shaky breath and wraps her arms around Tobin’s waist, letting herself relax in Tobin’s arms. “I’m sorry,” she murmurs into her neck. 

“Hey, you don’t have to apologize,” Tobin tells her firmly. She pulls away just enough so that she can see Christen’s face. She pushes her hair away from her face, and keeps her hands on the girl’s cheeks, caressing them lightly with her thumbs. “What’s going on?” She asks softly. “Are you okay?” 

Christen takes in another shaky breath and nods her head. “Yeah,” she says, quietly. “I just...I was kind of nervous about something,” she says, pulling away from Tobin, not really wanting to be close to her right now while she’s freaking out about going on a date with someone else. 

Tobin just frowns at her, “Your exams? Chris, I know you’re stressed out and what I say won’t make a difference but you’re going to crush them,” she assures her. 

“It wasn’t about exams,” Christen says quietly, turning her back to Tobin. “But, I’m okay. Really,” she says, wanting to drop the conversation and for Tobin to leave. She doesn’t want to have to discuss her date with Tobin. 

“Christen, you can talk to me,” Tobin says, reaching out for her. “That didn’t seem like nothing,” she adds, still feeling a little worried about her. She’s witnessed her having a panic attack once and she would like to do anything in her power to prevent it from happening again. 

“I don’t-....I can’t talk to you about this,” Christen says quietly, with a small sigh. 

“Why not?” Tobin asks confused, and a bit hurt. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. You can tell me anything,” she pushes, just wanting to be able to give Christen some sort of comfort. 

Christen just turns to her, feeling a little annoyed that Tobin won’t give up. But she also knows that it’s because Tobin cares, which is even more annoying. She doesn’t want Tobin to care right now. It’s just making her even more anxious and this whole situation worse. “I’m about to go and meet up with Jenni for the first time,” Christen blurts out, before Tobin can get another word out. 

Tobin’s eyes widen and her mouth snaps shut. “Oh,” she says, after a brief moment of silence. “Uh...okay...” Tobin says awkwardly, not having any idea what to say to her now. She’s not sure how to comfort Christen on going out with someone else. 

“I’m just...I’m freaking out about it,” Christen admits quietly. 

Tobin takes in a breath, trying to compose herself. She hates the idea of Christen going out with Jenni, but she also hates to see Christen so worked up and upset. And a part of her thinks she’s an idiot for staying to help Christen get ready for a date with another woman, but the other part of her just wants to see Christen happy. “Don’t freak out,” she tells her gently. “Chris...you’re seriously the best person that I have ever met. You’re my favorite person in the whole world and I know that she’s going to feel the same. You don’t have anything to worry about,” she tells her honestly. 

Christen sits down on her bed and looks up at Tobin, feeling a rush of emotion towards the girl. But she doesn’t really know what to say to her. “You can’t say things like that right now,” she tells her with a small frown. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’m trying to be excited about going out with someone else and I’m trying to forget about my feelings for you and when you say things like that...” she pauses, trying to collect her thoughts. “You just can’t say things like that,” she says, looking back up at Tobin almost defeated. 

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes. “But, it’s still true,” she can’t help but say. She sits down on the bed next to Christen and takes in another deep breath. “What are you guys going to do?” Tobin asks softly. She doesn’t really want to sit here and hear all the details of Christen’s date, but if she can help ease her anxiety a bit, she’s going to do it. 

“Just get coffee,” Christen answers quietly. “I’ve never been on a date,” she admits to Tobin. “Except if you count us hanging out,” she then says with a small shrug. 

“No, that doesn’t count,” Tobin shakes her head, making Christen frown a bit. She knows they weren’t dating, but she was hoping that their hangouts maybe meant a little more to her than just friends hanging out. “You deserve more than just some casual hangouts,” Tobin tells her. “I know that I missed my opportunity to give that to you, but you deserve to be spoiled and taken out and really treated,” she tells her with a smile. “And I’m sorry that I took advantage of our time and didn’t treat you the way you deserve.” 

“It’s fine. It’s not what you wanted,” Christen says quietly. 

“I was just too scared to admit it,” Tobin tells her honestly. 

Christen turns to look at Tobin a bit shocked at her revelation. “Tobin- 

“Hey guys!” They both hear a voice, making them jump apart, their heads turning towards the door to see Ali standing there with a suspicious look. “Am I interrupting something?” She asks, eying to two of them. 

“Nope,” Tobin says, pulling away just slightly from Christen. “Just talking,” she tells Ali. 

“Okay,” Ali nods, still suspicious. “Christen did you still want me to help you get ready?” She asks softly. 

Tobin clears her throat and stands up off the bed, “Uh...I’ll see you later, Christen,” she says quietly before squeezing past Ali and walking out the door. 

Ali just takes a few tentative steps towards Christen, “What was that? Are you okay?” She asks, feeling a bit concerned. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods. “I was just a bit nervous and Tobin was trying to help me,” she reveals. 

“Yeah?” Ali asks, a bit surprised. “Did you tell her where you are going?” She asks curiously. 

Christen nods her head slowly, “Yeah, I told her,” she replies quietly. 

“Maybe, I should warn Ashlyn,” Ali says with a smirk, pulling her phone out. 

Christen lets out a small chuckle but shakes her head, “She seemed okay,” she says with a small shrug. 

“Maybe in front of you,” Ali says with a small frown. “But, I’m sure she’s going to be on a rampage now,” she can’t help but chuckle. “She’s probably over there punching a wall or ranting at Ash,” she says with a smile. 

Christen just frowns, her eyes looking towards the door, but she can’t see inside of Tobin and Ashlyn’s room from her spot on the bed. 

“Anyway, should we get you ready?” Ali asks with a smile, trying to get the topic off of Tobin. “I brought some makeup, or we can look through yours and see what you’ve got,” she tells her, holding up her makeup bag. 

“Okay,” Christen nods, standing up from her bed. “I don’t have much makeup, but it’s in the bathroom,” she tells her, walking towards said room. 

—

After getting Christen all ready for her date, Ali makes her way into Ashlyn and Tobin’s room to make sure everything is okay in there. She hadn’t been joking when she’d been a little worried about how Tobin was going to react. And she knows that Ashlyn may just enable her or argue with her instead of diffuse the situation. 

When she walks into the room, she sees Ashlyn laying on her bed and Tobin across the room on her own bed, everything seemingly fine. 

“Hey guys,” she says, glancing between the two of them a bit suspiciously 

“Hey baby,” Ashlyn greets with a grin, reaching for Ali and pulling her down on the bed with her. “Did you get Press all prettied up?” She asks, after placing a sweet kiss against her lips. 

“Yeah, she looks great,” Ali nods, glancing over at Tobin who is just frowning down at her phone. “Everything okay over here?” She asks, still feeling a bit suspicious at how calm things seem to be over here. 

“Sure, why wouldn’t it be?” Ashlyn asks her. 

Ali looks between the two girls again and then back to Ashlyn. “I don’t know, I figured Tobin would be upset or something after hearing where Christen is off to,” she informs them. 

Ashlyn just nods and looks over at Tobin, “Show her,” she tells the girl. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes and holds up her hand that has some scrapes on the knuckles and looks like it’s been bleeding. 

“Oh my god,” Ali says, getting up from the bed and moving over to Tobin to inspect her hand. “I joked about you punching something, but I didn’t think you actually would,” she tells her. “What did you hit?” She questions. 

Ashlyn nods her head over towards the wall that has a small crack in it. “Don’t worry, her hand took more damage than the wall did,” Ashlyn says with a smirk. “Tobin’s getting a little weak,” she adds. 

Tobin scowls and whips her head around to glare at Ashlyn. “I’m not weak,” she protests. “Do you want me to hit you? Because I will,” she threatens, starting to get up from the bed. 

But Ali guides her back down, “Hey, calm down,” she frowns at her, making Ashlyn chuckle. “And you stop provoking her,” Ali says, glaring at her girlfriend. 

Tobin just grins smugly at Ashlyn when she looks like a kicked puppy. 

“Both of you are children,” Ali scolds. “Now let me see your hand,” Ali says sternly, grabbing Tobin’s hand to get a better look at it. 

“It’s fine,” Tobin grumbles, wincing when she feels Ali touching it. “Just leave me alone,” she says, ripping her hand out of Ali’s grasp. “I don’t need your help,” she says annoyed. 

“Hey don’t take your anger out on me,” Ali tells her with a glare. “You did this to yourself,” she tells her. 

“You’re the one helping her get ready for her date,” Tobin grumbles. 

Ali just scoffs at her and gets off of Tobin’s bed. “What do you want me to do, Tobin? Tell her not to go enjoy herself with a woman who may actually be into her and who will treat her the way she deserves to be treated? You want me to tell her to just sit here and be miserable and hope that you get your head out of your ass eventually?” She questions, folding her arms across her chest. 

Tobin deflates at that and shakes her head, “No,” she says quietly. “Of course not,” she sighs. “I want her to be happy.” 

“Good. Then get over yourself,” Ali tells her with a small eye roll. 

Tobin frowns, but doesn’t argue any further. She knows that Ali is right and she really doesn’t have anything more she can say. 

She glances down at her phone, noticing the time and lets out another sigh, getting up off the bed. “I’ve got to go,” she tells them, pulling some shoes onto her feet. 

“Tobin, you don’t have to go,” Ashlyn says with a sigh. 

“I do,” Tobin informs her. “I have somewhere to be,” she says, standing up and grabbing her backpack, making sure she has everything that she needs. 

“Where are you going?” Ali asks curiously. 

But, Tobin doesn’t respond to them and just walks out the door without looking back. 

She really doesn’t want to have this conversation with them or tell them where she’s going. She had a hard enough time convincing herself to start doing this and she really doesn’t want to get them involved in it. 

—-

Later that night, Tobin heads back into the dorms, feeling a bit exhausted. After her appointment, she’d actually spent a lot of her day in the library studying, in between taking a few breaks to go the fields and do a few dribbling exercises by herself. She’d tried to stay focused and study for a few hours, but she gets bored easily and has to get back outside and do something active. 

She was also having a hard time not thinking about Christen being on a date with another woman. 

And she may have aimed a few balls at the mannequin’s head, picturing Jenni’s face.

However, she’d managed to get a lot done and she’s feeling pretty confident about her first exam. 

When she passes the vending machines she spots Christen buying herself some chips and she’s a little surprised to see the girl out so late, much less eating junk food this late. “Hey,” Tobin says, startling the girl and making her jump. “Sorry,” Tobin says with a chuckle. 

Christen just turns back to the machines, reaching down for her snack and then looks back at Tobin, “Hi,” she says quietly. 

“What are you doing up so late?” Tobin questions. 

“It’s only 9,” Christen frowns, glancing down at her watch. 

Tobin just chuckles again, “Sure but you are normally starting your night time routine by now, not getting junk food out of the vending machines,” she explains, proving once again that she knows Christen too well. 

Christen just shrugs her shoulders, “I wasn’t paying attention to the time and I skipped dinner,” she informs her. “And now the cafeteria is closed,” she adds with a small frown. When she got back from having coffee with Jenni, she’d hulled herself up in her room trying to make up for the lost time and had forgotten to take a trip to the cafeteria before they closed up.

“Jenni didn’t feed you?” She can’t help but find herself asking, a little bitterly. But when she sees the small scowl on Christen’s face, she immediately regrets it. “Sorry,” she apologizes with a sigh, knowing she has no right to be bitter towards Jenni. 

“We just had coffee,” Christen responds simply. “And I don’t need someone to feed me,” she adds with a bit of attitude. 

Tobin just nods, “You’re right, I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes again. 

Christen is about to say something when she notices Tobin’s knuckles all scraped up and bruised. Her brows furrow and she reaches out for Tobin’s hand, “What happened?” She asks, inspecting the wounds. 

Tobin just gently pulls her hand away from Christen and shrugs her shoulders, “I’m fine,” she assures her. 

Christen wants to ask more, but she has an idea of what happened. When Ali had mentioned her punching something, she hadn’t actually thought Tobin would do it. But a part of her also isn’t surprised. The girl can be a bit reckless sometimes. “You should really get that looked at,” she decides to say, instead pushing her on what happened. 

“Seriously, it’s fine,” Tobin assures. “I can still move my fingers and everything, nothing is broken,” she says, wiggling her fingers, though she winces through it. “It’s just a little sore,” she says softly. 

Christen just nods her head, not knowing what more to say to the girl. “Well, I’m going to head back to my room,” she says, feeling a bit awkward. “Put some ice on that,” she then tells her, nodding towards her hand.

Tobin watches Christen turn away from her without another word and start heading back towards the elevators. She quickly follows behind her, running a little to catch up with her. 

“Hey!” She says, making Christen stop and turn to look at her. “How about we go and get something more substantial for you to eat? There’s a few places a couple of blocks away that are still open,” she tells her. “Or I can drive us somewhere if you want to go further away. We can go wherever you’d like,” she suggests with a smile. 

“That’s okay,” Christen shakes her head. 

Tobin just sighs and takes another step closer to Christen. “Look, I hate how awkward things are between us. I know that I screwed everything up, but I want to try and at least be friends or something. I just hate the awkwardness around us,” she tells her, honestly. “And I promise, I’ll be on my best behavior,” she assures her with a grin.

Christen chews on her lip, debating the offer, not really sure if she should go and hang out with Tobin. They’re not really supposed to be doing that, but she can’t deny that she hates how awkward things are between them as well. “I don’t like how things are between us either,” Christen finally admits. “But, I don’t really know if we can go back to how we were,” she says honestly. 

“I get that,” Tobin nods. “But we can start slow. I won’t pressure you for anything or do anything that makes you uncomfortable, but maybe we can just go grab some dinner? I mean, I haven’t eaten either,” she suggests, hopefully. “We can just catch up or...you know, you don’t even have to talk to me if you don’t want to. We can just eat in silence,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen just chuckles lightly, “Okay, sure,” she agrees, going against her better judgement. But she really is hungry and could use something other than a bag of chips. 

—-

They end up going a few blocks down to a little burger place. Tobin orders one of the biggest cheeseburgers they have with fries and Christen unsurprisingly gets a turkey burger with lots of vegetables on it. Tobin really didn’t think you could even make a burger healthy, but Christen figured it out. 

She did however get her French fries, considering they are her weakness. 

“So how is your family doing?” Tobin asks, smiling over at Christen, happy to be in her presence again. It’d been a little awkward and quiet on the drive over, but she really wants to try and break through that. And she knows that Christen’s family is always a happy topic for her. 

“They’re great!” She grins. “Tyler called me a couple of hours ago and showed me that Morena and Khaleesi were asleep in my bed again. She says that they’ve been doing that recently and it’s because they miss me,” she explains with a smile, that soon turns into a sad smile as she thinks more about it. 

“That’s adorable,” Tobin smiles, trying not to let Christen get sad over it. “They love you and you’ll get to see them next week,” she grins, and is happy when Christen smiles again. “Your parents are doing well?” Tobin then asks curiously. 

She hadn’t spent a lot of time with them, but in the short time she did see them, she really grew to like them and felt like they were really starting to make her feel like a part of their family. She’s disappointed that she’s probably ruined that entire relationship for good now and they’ll probably hate her forever, but she still hopes they are doing okay at least.

“They’re good,” Christen shrugs. “They’re happy that I seem to be doing so well here,” she informs Tobin. 

“That’s great,” Tobin nods, giving her a little smile. 

“What about your family?” Christen asks curiously. Tobin rarely talks about her family and she doesn’t know much about them. She feels like she talks about her own family constantly but she’s only heard Tobin talk about them once, when she asked her about it. 

“They’re fine,” Tobin shrugs. “Oh! Perry is getting married,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen grins at the news. “That’s great! I bet she’s excited,” she says happily. 

“Yeah, she is,” Tobin nods. “She says, she’s making me wear a dress,” Tobin groans, rolling her eyes. 

Christen can’t help but laugh at that, “I can’t see you wearing a dress,” she admits. 

Tobin just groans again, “I hate wearing them, but I guess it’s not the end of the world,” she shrugs. “I had to wear one for my oldest sister’s wedding too,” she tells her. “It’s probably the last time I wore one,” she says, thoughtfully. “Or no, I wore one when we met the President,” she remembers. 

“Oh my god, I forgot that you got to meet President Obama,” Christen says with a wistful smile. “I would have died,” she admits. 

Tobin just giggles at the look on Christen’s face, “Yeah it was pretty cool. I’m happy that he was the President when we went,” she says, relieved. 

“I want to meet Michelle Obama. She’s my idol,” Christen says with a dreamy smile. 

“Well, once you are on the National Team and doing big things, I don’t think it will be a completely unreachable goal,” Tobin assures her. “Honestly, she’d be the lucky one,” Tobin smiles. 

“Yeah right,” Christen says with a smile, rolling her eyes. “But enough about that. Let’s get back to talking about you in a dress,” Christen laughs, making Tobin groan again. “I need pictures when this happens,” she giggles. 

“No way,” Tobin shakes her head. “I know I’ll have to take photos, but I’ll make sure none of you guys get to see them,” she smiles. 

Christen just pouts at her, “Not even me?” 

Tobin holds Christen’s stare, giving her a small glare, but it fades away and she sighs. She definitely can’t beat that adorable pout on Christen’s face. “Fine, maybe I’ll let just you see,” she tells her. 

“Great,” Christen grins. “So when is the wedding, anyway?” 

“I don’t know,” Tobin shrugs. “They just got engaged so it won’t be anytime soon, probably,” she informs her. “But who knows, my sister has been ready to get married forever, so she probably already has everything planned out,” she chuckles. 

“I used to plan my wedding when I was little too,” Christen reveals. “Obviously, I don’t want a big pink sparkly dress or unicorns at the wedding anymore though,” she laughs. 

Tobin can’t help but laugh at that, “That’s adorable,” she says sincerely. “I think you’d look really pretty in a big pink sparkly dress,” she tells her with a grin. 

Christen just rolls her eyes, but can’t help grin at her. “What about you? You never planned out your wedding or thought about it when you were little?” She asks curiously. 

“No,” Tobin says honestly. “I’ve never really thought about getting married,” she admits. 

“That’s not surprising,” Christen says with a small sigh. 

Tobin just bites her lip, annoyed at how fast their laughter and good conversation had taken a turn for the worst by her fear of commitment or lack of wanting a real relationship. “I just wouldn’t want a big fancy show and all of that,” Tobin shrugs. “I would just want something small and simple,” she reveals. 

Christen looks at her with a raised brow, “You think you’d actually get married?” 

“I don't know,” Tobin says a bit awkwardly. “Maybe,” she says, meeting Christen’s eyes. “I mean, I didn’t think I ever would in the past but...who knows,” she says quietly. She’s still terrified about commitment and isn’t sure it’s something she’ll ever do but maybe for the right person. 

And she’s not saying she’s ready to marry Christen but for some reason the thought of marriage isn’t as scary when it comes to Christen. 

Not that that matters anymore anyway.

“So have you done any new art projects lately?” Christen asks, wanting to change the subject, knowing that they are getting into dangerous territory. She’d really been enjoying herself with Tobin and hadn’t even thought about the awkwardness between them, but they were starting to go back into that direction and she wants to stay clear of it. 

“Not really,” Tobin shrugs. “I haven’t really been inspired lately,” she says quietly. 

Christen just chews on her lip, knowing that they are back to the awkward territory and she’s not really sure how to get back out of it. It seems like almost anything that they talk about somehow brings them back to it. She honestly doesn’t know if they’ll ever be able to get back to how they used to be. 

And that thought kills her. 

“Are you almost done? It’s getting pretty late,” Christen comments quietly. “I should try and get a little more studying done and get some sleep,” she informs her. 

“Yeah, I’m done,” Tobin nods with a small sigh, standing up from her chair. “We can head back.” She says, knowing that dinner hadn’t gone as well as she hoped it would and she probably shouldn’t try and force Christen to stay any longer. She’s just happy that she’d gotten a little bit of time with her. 

Tobin just sighs, feeling annoyed with herself as she follows Christen out of the burger place. They’d been doing so well and she thought for a moment that they could get back to normal, but she realizes that’s going to be harder than she thought. 

Christen had been right, again. 

When they get back to the dorms, they both pause out in the hallway, between their respective rooms, neither really knowing what to say or do or how to end the night.

“I’m really glad you decided to come with me tonight,” Tobin tells her with a small smile. “I missed hanging out with you,” she admits a bit shyly, not really sure if she’s over stepping anything. 

“I’ve missed it too,” Christen admits, which surprises Tobin a little. She lets out a heavy sigh and looks up at Tobin, “I miss you so much, Tobin.” She tells her, sadly. “I haven’t been avoiding you because I’m mad at you or because I don’t want to spend time with you. It’s the opposite,” she explains. “I have to get over these feelings for you and when we hang out, and you’re all...you” she says, waving her hands towards Tobin. “...I just-....it makes it impossible,” she tells her. 

Tobin bites her lip, not wanting to smile at this moment, but she kind of can’t help herself. “I get it,” Tobin nods. “And I tried to stay away from you and respect your wishes, but it’s just so hard...” she tells her. “I just...I can’t stand not talking to you. I felt like I was going crazy,” she tells her with a small chuckle. 

“It’s hard on me too, but it’s for the best,” she says, knowing that it’s true. “As much as I want to keep hanging out with you, I really can’t Tobin. I mean it this time,” she says, trying to sound stern.

“I’m sorry for everything that happened,” Tobin tells her sincerely. 

Christen just nods her head, looking down at the ground. “I’m sorry too,” she says, which confuses Tobin because she’s not really sure why she’d be apologizing. “I knew where you stood and I just didn’t listen. I shouldn’t have assumed that you changed your mind just because I did and I shouldn’t have kissed you-

“Don’t apologize for that, please,” Tobin says with a frown. “I shouldn’t have kissed you. I knew in my head that it was wrong, but in the moment, I just couldn’t help myself. I acted before I thought and it was wrong,” she tells her. “But, I do want you to know that I never intended to play with your feelings or do anything to hurt you. I just can’t think clearly around you sometimes and I act before I think,” she tries to explain. “It’s kind of hard to contain myself around you,” she says with a small smile. 

Christen smiles back at her but then frowns, “Well I guess we should just be clear on where we stand now,” she tells her. “We aren’t ever going to happen so we should just forget about it and try and move on,” she says sadly. 

Tobin swallows hard and wants to protest. She’s been thinking about Christen a lot and even the possibility of actually being with her. It’s not as scary as she used to think it was, but she knows that she’s still not completely there yet. She’s not sure she could be the girlfriend that Christen needs yet and it wouldn’t be fair to make her think otherwise. “Right,” Tobin finally says with a small nod.

Christen just nods again, a little disappointed, with Tobin’s answer. She doesn’t know why she had some sort of hope that Tobin would change her mind. But at least now that she has the confirmation, she can maybe move on from her. “Good night, Tobin,” she says quietly, before walking into her dorm room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so i think I have gotten my flow back.. I already have a little over half of the next chapter written so it shouldn't take me too long to get it finished. SO if you guys are still interested in this story please let me know! If not, I may not continue and just focus on my other writings! 
> 
> Let me know what you think! 
> 
> tumblr: dope1723


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Back at it!   
> Enjoy..

Christen is sitting outside of the dorm rooms talking to her mom on the phone, making some final plans for when she gets to go home next week. Christen couldn’t be more excited to get to go home for almost a month this time. Especially with everything that has been happening at school between Tobin, Jenni and just the stress of exams, she could really use a break from it all. 

Though, she can’t help but find herself feeling a little down at the thought of not getting to see Tobin for that long. And honestly, a part of her is even disappointed she won’t get to see Jenni for that long as well. She doesn’t know her well enough to really miss her terribly, but she had a great time with her during their coffee date and she definitely wants to go back out with her. She just hopes that after a month, Jenni still wants to go out with her. She wouldn’t be surprised if she meets someone else in that time frame and forgets all about her. 

But she is going to see her a few more times before she has to leave. 

“So how is everything? You're not stressing yourself out over your exams are you?” Her mother asks her in a knowing tone. 

Christen looks back to her mother’s face and shakes her head. “No mom, I’m doing good,” she tells her, which is only a partial lie. She may be stressing herself out a little too much but she really does feel like she’s going okay. 

“Good, how are all of your friends doing?” She asks with a big smile, still obviously happy at the fact that her daughter has made some friends. 

“They’re good,” Christen nods. “They’re studying and stuff too so we don’t hang out as much anymore,” she informs her, and again it’s only a partial lie. She doesn’t hang out with them much anymore, but her mother doesn’t have to know that it’s her choosing not to be social. 

“And how’s Tobin?” She asks softly. 

Christen just furrows her brows, “Fine, I guess,” she shrugs. It’s not the first time that her parents have asked about Tobin since everything that went down during Thanksgiving. They still don’t really know the details of it all, and Christen refuses to tell them. She just keeps trying to convince them that they are still friends and that’s it, even though they know better. 

And just because it’s the luck that Christen seems to have, Tobin chooses that moment to walk down the sidewalk towards her, juggling a soccer ball as she walks. 

“Hey Chris,” Tobin greets with a small smile, still not really sure if she should actually approach Christen. She knows that Christen meant it this time about them not hanging out, and she’s really going to try and give her some space. Though, she can’t just ignore her when she sees her. 

That would be rude. 

“Hey,” Christen responds, turning her body a bit so that her mom doesn’t see Tobin because she knows she’s going to want to talk to her. 

“Is that Tobin?” Stacey asks in a knowing tone, narrowing her eyes at Christen. 

Christen just sighs, “Yeah,” she says, knowing there is no way out of it now. 

“Hi Tobin!” She says loudly, not really sure where Tobin is at but hoping that she hears her. 

Tobin just grins and lets the ball fall from her feet and walks up behind Christen looking down at her phone, “Hi, Mrs. Press,” she greets a bit nervously, not really sure how the woman feels about her at the moment. 

“Call me Stacey, remember,” she tells the girl with a stern look. 

“Right, sorry,” Tobin apologizes. “How are you, Stacey?” She asks politely. 

“I’m doing alright sweetie. Just getting ready to have this one home,” she says, smiling over at her daughter. 

“Well, I know she’s excited to be coming home,” Tobin says knowingly. 

“I’m sure she is,” Stacey smiles. “But, I know she’s also going to miss all of her friends and hanging out with you guys,” she smiles at Tobin. “She’s probably going to get pretty bored just hanging out at the house with us for too long and wishing she was back there with you guys,” she says with a small chuckle. “Just make sure to have some fun with your friends before you leave,” she tells Christen. 

“I will mom,” Christen replies, rolling her eyes slightly. 

“But not too much fun,” she then adds with narrowed eyes. “You still need to pass your exams,” she reminds her. “I never thought I’d be telling you this, and I’m glad you are making friends, but don’t lose focus on your studies,” she says. 

Tobin just chuckles because she knows that Christen hasn’t lost focus at all on her school work and she still barely hangs out with them. But her smile fades when she sees the glare that Christen throws her way. 

She supposes that Christen has still been lying to her family about how often she’s hanging out with them. 

“Don’t worry Stacey, I’ll keep her in line,” Tobin says with a smirk. 

Christen looks up at her, giving her a small glare, but Tobin just keeps grinning widely at Stacey. 

“Thank you, Tobin,” Stacey says, pleased. 

“But really, Christen is doing well,” Tobin tells her. “She’s the one that’s keeping me in line,” she assures her, putting a gentle hand on Christen’s shoulder. 

“Sounds right,” Stacey can’t help but laugh. “Alright girls, I’ll let you guys get up to whatever it is you are doing,” she says, giving her daughter a knowing look, that just makes Christen roll her eyes again. Her mom is anything but subtle. “It was nice to see you, Tobin,” she says, looking up at her daughter's friend. 

“You too,” Tobin can’t help but grin, happy that her mom doesn’t seem to hate her. 

“Love you mom,” Christen says before ending the phone call. She puts her phone down and turns to look at Tobin who is now joining her at the table. 

“So...your mom doesn’t hate me,” Tobin says with a small smile. 

Christen just shakes her head, “Of course not,” she assures her. 

“I just wasn’t sure with everything that happened...I figured they would,” she explains to her. 

“They don’t know all the details,” Christen tells her. “I just told them we had a small fight and that we are just friends and it wasn’t that big of a deal,” she informs her. “They aren’t dumb so they know that it’s more than that, but they aren’t pushing me for details,” she says, with a small sigh. “But either way, they know that things happen and they aren’t going to hate you after one fight. And anyway, my parents could never really hate anyone,” she says with a smile. 

“They are very nice,” Tobin agrees. “I definitely see where you get it from,” she adds with a smile. “I’m just glad that they don’t hate me. I really like your parents,” she tells her softly. “Not that I guess it really matters,” she adds with a small shrug, a sad look on her face. 

“Tobin, I don’t want to do this,” Christen sighs, knowing where this conversation could lead. 

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes, not wanting to take them down a sad path either. She really is trying to stop moping around so much and try to be happy. She also wants to try and be able to talk to Christen without things being so uncomfortable or angsty. 

“Stop saying sorry to me,” Christen frowns. “We’re fine, Tobin. You don’t have to apologize for every little thing,” she tells her. “What are you doing out here anyway?” She asks, knowing Tobin had been in her room just moments before Christen had come outside to take her phone call. 

“I kicked over one of Ashlyn’s picture frames and she sent me outside,” Tobin says with a guilty smile. 

Christen just laughs, shaking her head, “You aren’t supposed to play football inside,” she reminds her. 

“I know,” she frowns. “Hey, do you want to go to the fields with me for a bit? I’m sure you have a lot of studying to do but a break could be good, right? When’s the last time you actually went to the fields?” She questions. 

“Last night,” she informs her. “Just because the season is over, doesn’t mean I’m not keeping up with practice,” she informs her. 

“Right, don’t know why I’d think otherwise,” Tobin smiles. “But anyway, do you want to go with me?” She asks again. “I kind of wanted to talk to you about something too,” she adds, her voice a bit nervous.

Christen bites down on her lip and shakes her head. “Um, I’m hanging out with Jenni for a bit before I go back to studying,” she informs her quietly. “We’re going to go play, actually,” she adds. “And also we aren’t supposed to be hanging out with each other, remember?” Christen says, narrowing her eyes at the girl. 

“Oh,” Tobin says simply. “Right,” she frowns. “Well...do you have a few minutes? I just need to talk to you about something, it won’t take long.” She asks a bit hopefully. She’s been pumping herself up to have this conversation with Christen for a couple of days now, but she’s been avoiding it. 

She knows she has to do it though. 

“Not really,” Christen shakes her head, looking down at her watch. “She’s picking me up soon and I need to get all of my stuff together,” she tells her. “Is it important?” She asks curiously, not really knowing what Tobin would need to talk to her about. 

“Um...” Tobin says, feeling a bit awkward. It is pretty important to her, but she’s not going to hold Christen up from going on her date. “No, it’s fine,” she tells her, waving a hand, figuring she can put it off a little longer. “Are you not playing on our fields?” She then asks. 

Christen shakes her head again, “No, she’s taking me to Providence Park,” she informs her, still feeling awkward talking to Tobin about Jenni. 

“Oh,” Tobin says again, trying not to let her jealousy show. Not only is her girl going to hang out with another woman, but she’s going to a professional stadium for a team that she hopes to play for some day. It’s like someone just stabbed her with two knives instead of the one. “So I guess your coffee date went well,” Tobin says quietly. 

“Yeah,” Christen says just as softly. “She’s nice,” she informs her. 

Tobin just nods, trying to look more okay with this than she actually is, “Good,” she says, giving her the best smile she can muster up. “Well uh...I guess I’ll leave you to it then,” she says, standing up from the table. “I’ll see you later,” she says, walking away from Christen without another word 

Christen just sighs and decides to go inside to get her things ready to meet Jenni. 

—-

Tobin ends up talking a lot of the girls into taking a study break and playing a little pick up game with her that afternoon which she is thankful for. It helped just slightly to get her mind off of Christen playing football with Jenni over at Providence Park. 

She pushed herself a little harder than she probably should have and she had a few dirty fouls that definitely would have given her some yellow cards during a real game. But they’d had a good time and though she has a lot on her mind right now, it hasn’t affected her game, thankfully. 

Her attitude definitely didn’t go unnoticed by the rest of her team, but thankfully they hadn’t commented too much on it. Other than a few of them yelling at her for playing so dirty and rough. But that wasn’t super unusual because they all get a little competitive when they play together. She’s just not usually one of the ones playing so rough. 

But she’d gotten a lot of her frustrations out and she hadn’t actually hurt anyone so she’s going to take it as a win. 

“I’m sorry you guys,” she says as they’re all standing on the sidelines drinking some water. “I got a little rough,” she admits, feeling the need to apologize to them. 

“It’s fine,” Pinoe waves off, “And you weren’t the only one,” she says, sending a glare towards Sonnett and Kelley who just shrug, smiling innocently. 

“You okay?” Alex asks her curiously, very aware of the girl’s sour mood. 

“I’m fine,” Tobin sighs, taking a drink of her water. “Just a little distracted and stressed out,” she informs them. 

“Doesn’t have anything to do with Press hanging out with Jenni right now over at Providence Park?” Pinoe asks with a slight smirk.

Tobin just rolls her eyes at them, “Not the best news that I’ve ever heard,” she says, knowing better than to just straight up lie to them about it and say that she’s fine. But she’s still not going to sit here and have girl talk and tell them all about her feelings. She’s been working on herself, but she’s still not quite there yet. “But, it’s fine. I’m glad she’s happy,” Tobin says and that part isn’t a full lie. Sure, she wishes she was happy with her, but it doesn’t change the fact that she just wants Christen happy. 

“Providence park? Damn, she’s lucky,” Kelley says, shaking her head. “That’s so cool,” she adds, feeling a bit jealous. 

“Tobs, you want to come and get some dinner with us?” Ali asks, walking up to the girl, Ashlyn following behind her. “We’re going to shower and go somewhere that isn’t just crappy cafeteria food,” she informs her, hoping that taking her out to dinner could help cheer her up a bit. 

But, Tobin shakes her head. “No, I’ve got somewhere to be,” she informs them vaguely. 

“Where do you keep running off to? It’s kind of sketchy,” Ashlyn tells her with a raised brow. She’d noticed the girl disappearing for a couple of weeks now, but she hasn’t really pressed the subject. Though, it’s been a bit more frequent the past few days. “You aren’t seeing someone are you?” She asks, not really thinking that Tobin would be but she’s also not really sure where the girl keeps going in the afternoon’s. 

“No,” Tobin responds simply. “And it’s not really any of your business,” she adds, not trying to be rude, but not really wanting to talk about it. “It’s personal,” she adds, hoping that they lay off. 

“Since when do you do personal, or keep things from us?” Ashlyn asks curiously. 

“I don’t have to tell you everything about my life,” Tobin says, feeling annoyed. 

“She’s right,” Ali cuts in before Ashlyn can argue with her. “But, Tobin you can talk to us, alright?” Ali tells her softly. “We just don’t want you to be in any trouble or getting hurt. We care about you,” she says, hoping that Tobin isn’t getting herself into something stupid. 

“I’m not in trouble. It’s fine, promise,” she tells them, hoping they will accept the answer and leave her alone. “I just really don’t want to talk about it yet,” she adds. 

“Okay, we can accept that,” Ali tells her, giving Ashlyn a sort of encouraging look and also a look that is a bit threatening. 

“Fine,” Ashlyn sighs, knowing when to stop pushing. “We’ll see you later,” she tells her before following Ali through the tunnel into the locker room. 

—-

A couple of days later, Christen comes out of her third midterm of the week, feeling a bit of a weight lifted off her chest. She still has a couple more to go, but she’s happy to have knocked out a few. And she feels pretty confident that she’d done well on them, so she doesn’t have to worry about the stress of waiting on her results to see if she failed or not. 

And even if she hasn't passed, she’s doing well enough in her classes to where it shouldn’t make too much of a difference. However, she’s a bit of a perfectionist and would really like to keep her 4.0 gpa average. 

But as the week goes by, she’s starting to feel a little more relaxed about it all. And she’s starting to look forward to getting to go home and see her family. Even if she is starting to realize that she’s going to miss being here and around her teammates more than she’d realized. 

She walks into the cafe that they frequent now, and sees a lot of her teammates crowded around a couple of tables. “Hey guys,” she greets them with a smile, only feeling slightly awkward now. She doesn’t have nearly as much anxiety as she used to when she approached them all, but she still does get a bit nervous for the first few minutes, until she gets settled into the group. Especially when it’s more than just a couple of them. 

“Pressi!” Pinoe shouts with a smile. “How are exams going so far?” She asks, as Christen takes a seat next to her. 

“They’re going pretty good, actually,” Christen says, relieved. “I get pretty stressed out until I start taking them and then realize they’re not actually that hard,” she says with a small laugh. 

“That’s because you are the smartest,” Kelley tells her with a grin. 

“Yeah, I wish I could say the same,” Emily says with a small frown. “I’m pretty sure I tanked my calculus exam,” she says. 

Kelley just rolls her eyes and puts an arm around Emily, “You did not. You just think you did,” she tells her confidently. “All of you guys are getting so stressed out over this. I think we all just need to relax a bit,” she informs them. 

“It’s kind of a big deal, Kell,” Tobin speaks up, surprising some of the group. “If we don’t pass, we don’t get to play next season,” she tells them.

“Well duh,” Kelley rolls her eyes. “But we are all geniuses and we all need to relax a little,” she says, keeping with her point. “Everyone is going to do fine and all of us will be playing,” she says with confidence. 

“I agree,” Ali smiles, trying to keep up the morale. 

“Hey, I have an idea!” Kelley says with a grin. “How about we all go out somewhere tonight? Let loose and take our minds off of studying for a bit,” she suggests. 

“I don’t think getting drunk is going to help any of us,” Tobin says, rolling her eyes. 

“Just because I say we should go out together, doesn’t mean that I mean drinking,” she says with a huff. “We can do something else fun,” she informs them. “There’s a really big arcade not far from here. It has laser tag and bowling and all kinds of stuff,” she tells them. “I think it would be fun and good for us to have a little break,” she says. 

“I’m in,” Tobin says immediately. 

“Me too,” Ashlyn agrees as well as a few of the other girls. 

“I’m in as long as we aren’t out too late,” Ali tells the group. 

Emily, Lindsey, Mal and Kelley are already getting excited and talking fast and over each other, making a plan of everything they are going to do and who should be on what teams for everything. 

“What about you, Pressi?” Ashlyn asks, turning her attention over to Christen who has been pretty quiet through the whole conversation. “Think you have time to squeeze us in your busy schedule?” She asks with a small smirk. 

Christen chews on her lip and glances between her friends who all look really excited to go out together. “Come on, Press, it could be the last time we all get together before we leave for break,” Pinoe informs her. 

Christen just sighs and nods her head, “Okay, I’m in,” she agrees. “But, I’m with Ali, we can’t be out too late,” she adds. It will be nice to hang out with everyone one more time and she’s thankful that it’s not going to be at the bar they usually go to. She thinks going to do this stuff actually sounds kind of fun. 

“That’s fine, you just have to at least stay for a couple of hours,” Kelley says, joining back into their conversation. “And you have to play laser tag with us. You are totally on my team,” she says with a smile. 

“I’ve never even played laser tag,” Christen says with a smile, shaking her head at the girl, not sure why she’d want her on her team. 

“Doesn’t matter. You’re seriously good at everything so you are on my team,” she says with finality. 

“That’s not fair! We need captains or something to pick teams,” Tobin says with a small pout. “And I obviously should be one of those captains,” she then adds with a smirk. 

“No way! Why do you get to be a captain? It was my idea,” Kelley defends. 

“You can be one and Tobin can be one,” Ali says, rolling her eyes. “I really don’t think anyone else cares,” she adds. 

“Um, I care!” Ashlyn speaks up. “I don’t want to just get stuck on the crappy team,” she protests. 

“Well we can only have a small group of people on each team anyway, so there will probably have to be at least 4 teams,” Pinoe explains. “And I think seniority rules here and I should get to be one for sure,” she tells them. 

Christen just chuckles and decides to go up to the counter to get her coffee letting them fight it out. They’re the most competitive people she’s ever met and that’s really saying something considering how competitive it can get in the Press household on game nights. But she’s just going to let them sort it out and stay out of it. 

Once she gets her coffee and a açaí bowl, she heads over to the table, hoping they’ve sorted it out by now. 

“Hey, Pressi,” Kelley says, as soon as the girl is sitting down. 

“Yes?” Christen asks a bit warily. 

“You should bring Jenni,” she tells her with a smile. “We all need to meet her and I think she’d have a good time,” she explains. 

Christen’s eyes widen and her face turns a little red as all the girls look at her a bit expectantly. “Um...I don’t know if she’d want to do that,” she tells them. “I mean...we’ve only hung out a few times,” she adds, glancing over at Tobin who is just frowning down at her coffee. 

“Well you should still ask her,” Kelley tells her. 

“I agree. It doesn’t hurt to ask and you’re going to have to introduce her to us at some point,” Pinoe says, wiggling her brows. “We won’t scare her off,” she says, though the mischievous smile doesn’t give Christen any comfort. 

Christen just glances over at Tobin again, but sees her still looking anywhere but at her, trying to avoid the conversation at all costs. “Um...I guess I can just ask her,” she finally says softly. “But, I don’t know if she will want to come,” she adds, not wanting to get their hopes up. 

“She’s totally going to be on my team,” Kelley says with a grin. 

“What no! You already have Christen!” Ashlyn argues. 

Christen just chuckles again, choosing to stay out of it as they continue bickering over the teams. She looks back to Tobin who is just silently munching on a protein bar, being unusually quiet. And Christen feels a little bad. She knows that she needs to move on and be happy, but she also doesn’t really want to bring Jenni around and rub it in Tobin’s face. 

Even if some of the girl’s would say she deserves it. 

But also, Christen knows that if this thing with Jenni actually turns into anything that she is going to be around some and Tobin will just have to get used to that. 

And, she’s not really sure that Jenni will want to come anyway. 

—-

But it turns out, Jenni is more than happy to come and hang out with her and her friends. And she’s happy that Jenni wants to come because she really does like hanging out with her and she’s enjoyed getting to know her, but she’d kind of been hoping that Jenni would say no. 

And partially it’s because of Tobin, but also she’s just a little worried because a lot of the girls can be a bit much. And she’s barely had a chance to get to know Jenni, she really doesn’t want them scaring her off or giving her the third degree.

But here she is, getting ready to go out and practically throw Jenni to the wolves. She’d given the girl a warning beforehand, but she’d just smiled and said she could handle them. And Christen is pretty sure that’s true, but Christen isn’t really sure if she’s more worried about Jenni or herself. She just really doesn’t want them to embarrass her in front of this girl she’s still getting to know. 

“Hey,” Christen hears a voice, making her turn around to see Tobin standing in her doorway. 

“Hi,” Christen greets her with a small smile. She can’t help but let her eyes trail down Tobin’s body. She’s wearing some bright colored shorts that look like swim shorts and just a simple white t-shirt with some sort of Nike’s. Tobin is always going on about the different kinds of shoes she has, but Christen can never keep up or remember who made what. She’s never really been a sneakerhead or cared that much about sneakers. 

Regardless, the outfit should look ridiculous but somehow Tobin manages to make it look hot. And Christen is having a hard time pulling her eyes away from the woman’s muscular tanned legs. 

When she finally looks back up at Tobin’s face, she sees the girl smirking at her, which just makes Christen blush. She knows that she’s been caught. 

“You almost ready?” Tobin asks, choosing not to call her out and embarrass her any further. 

“Uh, yeah,” Christen nods, going back to tying up her shoe laces. She’d just decided on some yoga pants and a Nike T-shirt, figuring she’s going to be pretty active between the bowling and laser tag that she knows she’s going to get roped into. 

And when she stands up and moves over to her desk to grab all of her things, Tobin can’t help but check out her ass in those tight yoga pants. 

This time, it’s Christen that catches Tobin staring when she turns back around. But it’s still Christen who ends up blushing again, even when Tobin realizes she’s been caught. She just smirks, not feeling embarrassed at all, by looking. 

“Do you want to get a Lyft with me?” Tobin asks as she watches Christen start to gather her things up. “Or we can just take my car. I doubt I’ll do any drinking tonight,” she informs her. “Maybe we could have that talk, that I’ve been wanting,” she says, feeling a bit nervous again.

“Oh um...I’m actually going with Jenni. She’s picking me up,” Christen says a bit awkwardly. 

“Oh right,” Tobin nods, trying to sound as casual as possible. “Cool, I’ll just see if anyone else needs a ride,” she says, awkwardly turning for the door. But then she stops and takes in a deep breath, “Hey do you have a minute to talk?” She asks, knowing this may not be the best time to have this conversation, but she needs to say some things and she needs to do it before she either explodes or just wusses out and doesn’t even tell her. 

“Sure, I guess,” Christen shrugs, sitting back down on her bed, a bit nervous to hear whatever it is that Tobin has been wanting to talk to her about. She really doesn’t want to hear anymore apologies or anything about their situation. She knows they’re over and she just wants to move past it and stop dwelling on it. 

“Okay,” Tobin says, letting out a slow breath. She sits down on the bed next to Christen and swallows hard, trying to get the confidence to say what she needs to say. 

“Are you okay? You’re kind of freaking me out,” Christen says anxiously, taking in Tobin’s nervous energy and the way she’s fiddling with her hands awkwardly. And Tobin is never nervous.

Tobin just nods, swallowing hard again. “I’ve been going to therapy,” Tobin blurts out, making Christen’s eyes widen. 

That was the last thing she’d expected to come out of Tobin’s mouth. 

“I mean...I’ve only gone a few times now but it’s actually going pretty well, I guess.” She tells her with a small shrug, “I mean...I didn’t really say much in the first session and I left annoyed and telling myself that I wasn’t going back,” she says with a light chuckle. “But...I want to be better,” she says, looking over at Christen. “I want to be better for you,” she adds softly. 

Christen just sighs, “Tobin...”

“Look, I know that I’m not just magically healed all of a sudden,” she says, before Christen can get another word out. “But, I am trying.” She tells her softly. “And she gave me all these exercises and little homework things to do,” she says with a small eye roll. “I thought it was ridiculous at first, but I still forced myself to do them every day. I just go up one of the hiking trails and sit with nature and with myself,” she explains to her. “And I answer all these questions and really have to dig kind of deep,” she says with a small frown. “Honestly, it’s been kind of hard, but also pretty eye opening,” she says. “I realized I have a lot more feelings and things going on with myself than I had realized,” she admits. 

“Why are you telling me this?” Christen asks softly. 

“Well, I talk about you to her,” Tobin informs her. “A lot, actually,” she says a bit timidly. “I told her that there’s this girl that I really like and that I don’t want to be broken anymore and I want to be normal and be able to not be so terrified to be with you and to let myself be happy with you,” she explains. 

“Tobin you aren’t broken,” Christen frowns. 

“Maybe,” Tobin shrugs “But anyway, she told me that I didn’t need to be doing therapy for another person and that I need to do it for myself,” she tells her. “And at first, I really was just doing it for you, but I’ve realized that she’s right and I do need to do it for myself. I have a lot of issues to work through and I know I need to keep it up, even if I can’t have you anymore,” she says. 

“Tobin...I’m really happy for you, I am,” she says with a soft smile. “But, I don’t know what you want me to say,” she adds, feeling a bit at a loss. This was a lot of information to take in and process and she’s kind of reeling a bit. “I can’t just forget everything that happened and be with you because you started going to therapy,” she says with a frown. “And I don’t even know if I trust that you even want to be in a relationship with me. You’ve been so against it for so long and you expect me to think you’ve just changed your mind overnight?” She asks with a deep frown. 

“No,” Tobin shakes her head. “I’m not telling you this to convince you to be with me,” she explains. “It was just kind of one of the things on my homework. To tell you how I feel and to be open and honest with you,” she tells her. “I have feelings for you, Christen. Really deep feelings,” she says and bites down on her lip as she starts to feel tears prickling at her eyes. Talking about feelings, really is as hard as she’d thought it would be. However, in a way, talking to Christen makes her feel safe and like it’s okay. 

It’s an odd feeling, but she’s happy that she seems to be making some improvement. A few weeks ago she would have never been brave enough to be this honest with Christen 

“I’ve had feelings for you for awhile now and I’ve just been too afraid to admit it. It’s not that I didn’t want a relationship with you, I’ve just been terrified to be in a relationship at all. And I’m not saying that it’s an excuse but I’ve got some problems with my parents that have apparently fucked me up more than I thought,” she says with a dry chuckle. “So I am working through that now,” she says quietly. “And I don’t want you to be with me all of a sudden and I don’t expect you to trust me but, I just needed to tell you how I feel,” she says, giving her a sincere smile. “I need you to know that I am trying and that I’m working on myself,” she says quietly. “I still don’t know if I would be a good girlfriend, but for the first time, I’m not terrified to try it,” she tells her. “I’ve known that I’ve had these problems for awhile and that I needed to talk to someone, but I didn’t want to deal with all of my feelings and I didn’t want to talk to some stranger about it all or have to face them. I just didn’t think it was worth it and I was happy just being by myself. But now...I have you and being alone isn’t worth it and I’m not happy,” she tells her honestly. “I don’t want to be alone,” she admits.

“I-...I have Jenni now,” Christen says, her voice quivering a bit. 

“I know,” Tobin nods sadly. “And she seems great,” she adds softly. “I really just want you to be happy, Christen,” she tells her. “But...I don’t know...I don’t know what I’m expecting, I just want you to know that I am trying and I don’t want us to be over,” she tells her. 

Christen feels tears in her own eyes and brings her hands up to her face, feeling frustrated. She definitely hadn’t been expecting this when Tobin said she wanted to talk to her and it’s honestly a lot to take in. “Tobin why are you doing this?” 

Tobin looks a bit hurt and caught off guard at that, “Doing what?” She asks, confused. 

“I wanted you for so long and I made myself miserable hoping that you’d change your mind and want to be with me,” she says, pulling her hands away from her face to look at Tobin. “And now when I’m finally starting to move on and I’m finally thinking about being with someone else, you have this self revelation and come in here and tell me all of these things and I-...” she trails off, shaking her head, feeling to angry and frustrated to even figure out what she is feeling or what she wants to say. “I was doing fine,” she says quietly, a tear escaping her eye. “I was moving on.” 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes. “I didn’t tell you all of this to confuse you or to make you angry,” she says, partially regretting telling her all of these things. “But, I had to be honest with you and I had to tell you how I feel,” she tries to explain to her but now it all just seems a bit selfish. “I told her that you were moving on and you were happy with someone else and that I didn’t want to ruin that for you but she told me that I was just using it as an excuse to self sabotage myself again,” she says a bit bitterly. “I was pissed that she’d say that at first, but as I thought about it, I was thinking that maybe she was right,” she tells her. “I always try and think of some reason or some excuse because I’m afraid but I don’t want to do that anymore,” she says, hoping that Christen will understand. 

“Well, I am glad you feel better, but I definitely don’t,” Christen sighs. 

“Christen, I don’t want anything from you,” Tobin says, reaching out for Christen’s hand. “If you want to be with Jenni, then I understand that...” she says sadly. “I just really wanted to tell you how I feel, that’s all,” she says softly. “I thought you deserved to hear it,” she says with a small shrug. 

Christen sniffles and brings her hand up to wipe away her tears. She doesn’t really know what to say to Tobin right now, because she doesn’t really know how she’s feeling. 

Her phone beeps, before any of them can say anything and she looks down at it. “Jenni’s here,” she says, quietly. “I’ve got to go,” she says, standing up from the bed. 

“Okay,” Tobin says simply, nodding her head. “I’ll see you there,” she says quietly, not really wanting to push Christen to keep talking about all of this. She knows that she unloaded a lot on her and she probably needs some time to think about everything. 

Christen just gives Tobin one last look before grabbing her things and walking out of her dorm to meet Jenni. 

Tobin lets out a huge sigh, and falls back onto the bed, not really sure how she feels now either. She hates that she’s upset Christen again, but honestly it feels pretty good to finally be honest and tell Christen how she’s feeling and to get some things off of her chest. And a part of her wants to tell Christen to just be with her but she also knows that it’s probably still too soon. She’s just now starting to work through her problems and she knows she’s not just fixed after a few sessions. And Christen deserves better than that. 

But she’s having a hard time trying to remember that. She finally accepted that she wants Christen and now it feels like she’s opened the floodgates. Like nothing is going to stop her from getting what she wants. 

She just hopes that she’s not too late and that Christen will fall for Jenni and Tobin will never have a chance to try. 

With another heavy sigh, she pulls herself off of Christen’s bed and walks into her own dorm room, throwing herself on her bed, “Fuck,” she can’t help but grumble at herself. 

“What’s up?” Ali asks from her spot on Ashlyn’s bed as she waits for her girlfriend to finish getting ready. 

“Nothing,” Tobin sighs. “Can I just ride with you guys?” She asks, not really in the mood to drive right now. 

“Sure,” Ali responds with a nod, deciding not to bother Tobin with any more questions about why she seems so upset.

They just sit in silence for the next few minutes while they wait impatiently for Ashlyn to finish getting ready. Honestly, Tobin almost considers just taking her own car, but at the same time she doesn’t care to get there early and see Christen and Jenni together any longer than she has to. And she still needs a moment to try and compose herself before she can go and have fun with her friends. 

“Alright, let’s do this. I’m ready to kick some ass at laser tag,” Ashlyn says, coming out of the bathroom with a grin. 

Ali just laughs and stands up, walking over to Ashlyn and wrapping her up in a hug and kissing her. “You’re putting me on your team, right?” Ali asks with a grin, staring up at her girlfriend. 

“Always,” Ashlyn grins, putting an arm around her shoulders. 

“Ugh, you guys are gross, let’s go,” Tobin grumbles walking past them and out into the hallway. 

“What’s her problem?” Ashlyn asks, with a frown. 

“I didn’t ask,” Ali shrugs, following Tobin into the hallway. “Should we see if Christen wants to ride with us?” 

“She got a ride with Jenni,” Tobin mumbles. 

Ali and Ashlyn give each other knowing looks, realizing why Tobin is being moody. “Alright well let’s get going,” Ali says, deciding not to dwell on the topic. They know that Tobin is probably going to be grumpy for most of the night, but they’re hoping she can at least have a little bit of fun. 

—-

When Tobin, Ashlyn and Ali get to the arcade, they see most of the girl’s already there, sitting around a few tables with a bowling game already going. Tobin can’t help but notice the presence of Jenni sitting way too close to Christen for her liking. She has her arm around the back of the chair that Christen is sitting in and Christen is leaning in towards her. 

Tobin almost wants to turn around and leave, but she knows that she can’t do that. She wants to hang out with her friends and she’s not going to let Jenni ruin that for her. It’s her own fault anyway and she’s going to have to start getting used to seeing Christen with that stupid tattooed arm around her. And she needs to start learning how to still be happy even without Christen. 

It’s another thing that she’s been working on but it doesn’t make it any easier when she sees Christen with someone else.

“Finally!” Pinoe yells as she sees the three girls approach their tables. 

“Sorry, you know how long it takes this one to get ready,” Ali says, giving Ashlyn a small eye roll. 

“It takes time to look this good hunni,” she says with a smirk, giving Pinoe a high five, before sitting down next to her and pulling Ali onto her lap. 

Tobin just sits down next to them, trying to stay as far away from Jenni and Christen as she can. Though, they’re still pretty close to her and she can definitely see the way Christen is smiling at Jenni as she talks closely to her. 

She really wishes she could have some alcohol right now. 

Though, she’s pretty sure this place I.D’s and also, she has an exam tomorrow and she knows that she doesn’t need to drink tonight. 

“Hey Jenni, glad you could make it,” Ashlyn says, smiling over at the woman. “I’m Ashlyn,” she introduces. 

“Nice to meet you,” Jenni smiles, reaching across the table to shake Ashlyn’s hand. “You’re Ali, right?” She then says, looking at the girl in Ashlyn’s lap. “Christen has told me about you guys,” she grins. 

“Yeah, it’s good to finally meet you,” Ali smiles back at her. 

Tobin feels like they’re a bit of traitors. 

“And you are Tobin,” Jenni then says, smiling at the moody girl. “You’re an amazing player,” she compliments. “I’ve been following you for awhile,” she informs her. 

Tobin inwardly rolls her eyes because she wants to hate Jenni and ignore her but she knows that she can’t. This woman is too nice and honestly she hasn’t done anything wrong. “Yeah, that’s me,” Tobin says a bit awkwardly. “You’re good too,” she returns the compliment, and most of the girls can tell how much it almost physically hurt her to say it. 

“Thanks,” Jenni just says sweetly, before turning to Christen and smiling widely at her. 

Christen just smiles back at her, and then looks over at Tobin. She gives Tobin a small smile and Tobin tries to give her one back, but she knows it probably looks as forced as it feels. She just sinks down a bit further in her chair with a small sigh. 

It’s going to be a long night. 

—-

A few of them end up going to the arcade to play games, while they wait their turn on the waitlist to play laser tag. Thankfully, there aren’t many children around because most of the girl’s are taking up all of the machines and getting pretty competitive and rowdy. She’s pretty sure some of them would have no qualms about yelling at some kids right now to get off the machines or to beat them at something. 

Christen just laughs as she watches all of them play and bicker with each other. 

She really is going to miss them for the few weeks she will be gone. 

“Hey, come play a game with me,” Jenni’s voice says in her ear. 

Christen turns to see Jenni smiling at her and she nods her head. Jenni grabs her hand and leads her over to the basketball game, one of the few games that is open right now, surprisingly. “I don’t think I’m very good at basketball,” she says, embarrassed. 

“That’s fine,” Jenni assures her. “Just have fun,” she tells her. 

Christen nods and waits for the game to start up and then starts chunking the balls towards the net with no form or strategy at all. It’s got a clock on it and that is quickly going down and it’s stressing her out, not giving her much time to think about it. 

“You really are bad at this,” Jenni can’t help but laugh when she realizes that only a couple of the basketballs have gone into the hoop. 

Christen just blushes as the balls stop coming down to her, and her turn is over. “I told you,” she says with her own chuckle. 

“Wow, Press, we finally found something you aren’t good at,” Kelley says, her and Tobin walking up beside them and looking at Christen’s score. “You’re terrible at basketball,” she smirks. 

Christen just rolls her eyes and gives Kelley a glare, “You are the one who keeps saying that I’m good at everything,” she reminds her. “Not me.”

“Maybe Tobin here should give you some pointers,” Kelley says with a smirk, motioning to the girl next to her. “She could have a career in basketball if she ever wanted to give up soccer,” she says with a grin. 

Tobin just rolls her eyes, “I’m nowhere near good enough to play basketball professionally,” she tells her. “But, I’m definitely better than that,” she says with a smirk, pointing to Christen’s low score. “But, don’t worry you looked totally adorable trying to play,” she adds softly, making Christen’s face turn red.

Jenni puts an arm around Christen, glancing between her and Tobin, obviously picking up on something more than just a teammates vibe that Christen tells her is all that is going on. “Don’t be hard on her,” she tells them. “She just needs a little help,” she says, turning back to Christen with a smile. “Come here,” she says, guiding her to stand back in front of the game. 

Jenni puts her hands on Christen’s waist, setting her stance up in the right position. She then slides her hands up, letting them run down Christen’s arms as she guides them up. “Throw with this one and then use this one as a guide,” she instructs her. 

Christen clears her throat, feeling a bit awkward with the close contact in front of her teammates and in front of Tobin, but she’s not going to lie and say she hates it. She glances over at Tobin who has suddenly found interest with the floor beneath them. 

“Okay, try again,” Jenni says softly in her ear before kissing her cheek and pulling away. 

Christen takes another attempt at the game and gets a couple more in than she did the last time, but she still doesn’t do well. 

“Ouch,” Kelley says, not being able to help herself from laughing. 

“Your turn then. Show me how it’s done,” Christen challenges, surprising the group with her feisty energy. 

Kelley smirks at her but then turns to Tobin. “Nope, Tobs, it’s all you. Show ‘em how it’s done,” she says, pushing Tobin forward to take a turn. 

Tobin rolls her eyes, but puts some coins in the machine to take a turn at it. 

She makes all of her shots and gets a new high score on the machine, making her turn to give Christen a confident smirk. “Maybe you need a better teacher,” she can’t help but say. And she knows she’s being petty but she really can’t help herself.

Christen gives her a glare, but Jenni seems unbothered by Tobin. “My turn,” Jenni says, stepping up to take a turn herself. 

Tobin just shrugs and moves out of her way, letting her put her coins into the machine. 

She makes all of her shots as well and does it quicker than Tobin had, meaning she gets more in and gets the new high score. 

Kelley raises her brows and glances over at Tobin who looks like she could have steam coming out of her ears if she were a cartoon character. “Nice job,” Kelley can’t help but compliment her, not missing the glare that Tobin sends her way. 

“Thanks,” Jenni says with a casual shrug, placing her arm around Christen with a confident smile. “She must be my good luck charm,” Jenni smiles, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Christen’s temple, making the girl blush deep red. 

“My turn again. I can do better,” Tobin practically growls, nudging Kelley out of her way to get to the machine again. 

“You want to go do something else?” Jenni asks turning to Christen, not really in the mood to get into some sort of competition with Tobin. She doesn’t feel the need to prove herself to the girl or play any games with her.

“Yeah,” Christen nods, before her and Jenni find another game to play, leaving Tobin and Kelley behind. 

“That was hard to watch,” Kelley says, shaking her head. 

“Shut up,” Tobin grumbles before starting the game up. Even though Jenni is gone, she still feels the need to beat her score.

And she does, but nobody is around to see it. 

—-

Tobin spots Christen standing a few steps behind Kelley and Sonnett, watching them play a shooter game, looking at them pretty amused because they’re yelling at each other and getting pretty aggressive over a video game. 

She doesn’t see Jenni anywhere, which makes her smile, knowing this is her chance to talk to her. She walks over to Christen, her hands behind her back and a mischievous smile on her face. “I got something for you,” she tells her, leaning close to Christen. 

Christen jumps a bit, startled by Tobin’s presence, behind her. She turns around and looks at the girl curiously. “What?” She asks a bit hesitantly. 

Tobin just beams at her and pulls out a stuffed dog from behind her back, showing it to Christen. “I got it with my tickets,” she tells her. “I thought it looked like Khaleesi,” she says with a smile. 

Christen grins widely and grabs the dog from Tobin, hugging it close to her, “It does!” She exclaims, happily but then frowns, looking down at the dog. “But, Tobin you shouldn’t have used your tickets for me,” she tells her. “I can’t take it,” she says, shaking her head and holding the dog back out for Tobin to take. 

“It’s fine,” Tobin waves off. “It’s not like they have much to choose from anyway,” she says, trying to downplay it. Though, really she hadn’t even had enough tickets to get the dog and ended up just buying it and she knows it cost three times more than it would have buying it from any regular store. But she’d seen it and knew that she had to have it for Christen. 

She hadn’t really been thinking about their conversation an hour prior or Jenni or anything else. She’d just seen it and knew that it would make Christen smile so she bought it. 

Christen wants to protest further, but she knows that she’s not going to win. Tobin is stubborn so she just smiles softly at her, “Thank you,” she says quietly, hugging the dog to her chest again. “I love it,” she tells her with a sincere smile.

“Good,” Tobin can’t help but grin back at her. “And hey...Look, I’m sorry about earlier-

“What’s up?” Jenni asks, coming up behind them and putting an arm around Christen, looking at Tobin curiously. She hadn’t missed the way the two of them had been looking at each other before she’d approached them.

Christen straightens her back and clears her throat a bit awkwardly, “Oh, Tobin won this dog and it looks like one of my dogs so she said I could have it,” Christen explains to her with a small shrug. 

“That’s nice,” Jenni grins, but Tobin can see how fake the smile is and how she’s eyeing her. She knows that Jenni isn’t stupid and she probably knows that there’s something going on between her and Christen. But she also doesn’t think Jenni is going to call them out for anything. And it’s not like they are in a serious relationship or anything. 

And Tobin had Christen first. 

But Tobin doesn’t want to cause them any problems, however, she’s a little pleased that Jenni just seems even slightly threatened by her. 

“Uh yeah, no big deal,” Tobin shrugs, scratching the back of her neck awkwardly, not really sure what to say to the couple.

“Guys! We’re up on laser tag!” Ashlyn yells from across the arcade. 

The whole group quickly stops playing their games and they all scurry away to laser tag with excitement. 

And Tobin is grateful for the save and an excuse to get away from the awkwardness. 

—-

Tobin presses her back against the wall and peaks her head around, making sure the coast is clear before she rushes over and hides behind another wall, letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn’t been hit. It’s come down to only her left on her team and she’s up against Christen, Jenni and Kelley. She knows they’re probably going to get her before she can get all of them, but she’s not going to go down without a fight. 

Her team had already won a round and she’d taken out Jenni first in the last game, which was a victory to her in itself. And she knows that she’s singling out and aiming for just Jenni, which isn’t the best thing to do but it’s the only way she can get a little bit of her aggression out where it’s okay. She can just play it off as a game. 

She’s hit Jenni twice already in this round and knows that she just needs to hit her one more time before she’s completely out of the game. 

She just has to find her. 

And not get found first. 

Even if she loses, as long as she gets Jenni out, she’ll take it as a win. 

She hears movement behind her and quickly snaps her head around to see Christen standing right behind her, her gun pointed straight at her. “Christen!” She says, with wide eyes. “Hey...” she says slowly, her eyes moving down to the gun and back up to Christen. “Let’s just talk about this...” 

Christen just smirks at her but then it turns into a glare. “I know what you are doing,” Christen accuses her. 

“What?” Tobin asks innocently. 

“You’re going out of your way just to shoot Jenni,” she tells her, knowingly. 

“I am not,” Tobin protests. “She’s just been an easy target,” she shrugs. 

Christen narrows her eyes and presses the gun up against Tobin’s chest. “You’re being mean,” she frowns. 

Tobin just sighs and rolls her eyes. “Fine,” she says, not wanting to argue with her any further when she knows that Christen is right. “I’m sorry,” she apologizes, though she’s really not sorry at all. “How’d you even sneak up behind me? You’re like a little ninja,” Tobin smiles. She knows she’s about to lose, but she can’t help but find it amusing. 

Christen giggles, “I don’t think you’d shoot me anyway,” she tells her with confidence, knowing that even if Tobin had heard her come up behind her, she wouldn’t have shot her. 

Tobin raises a brow at her, “No friends in laser tag,” she responds, quickly raising her gun up and pointing at Christen as well before Christen can pull the trigger on her own gun, putting them in a standoff.

Christen’s eyes widen and then she narrows them at Tobin, “So do it,” she challenges her. 

“You do it,” Tobin challenges back. 

“I will,” Christen tells her with confidence, though Tobin can see her waiver a bit, hesitating on the trigger, making her smirk. 

All of a sudden, Tobin’s vest starts lighting up and the lights in the room come on as well as a bunch of sirens, meaning Tobin is out and Kelley’s team has won. 

Both Tobin and Christen’s eyes widen and Christen looks over Tobin’s shoulder. Tobin follows Christen’s eyes and turns around to see Jenni standing behind her, a smirk on her face. “Gotcha,” Jenni says, before getting tackled into a hug by Kelley for winning the game for them. 

Tobin scowls and then turns back around to Christen who is looking at her apologetically. “Whatever,” Tobin grumbles, pulling her vest off and heading for the exit. 

“Tobin! We have the room for another half hour!” Kelley shouts after her. 

“I don’t want to play anymore,” she calls back, opening the door, clearly over the game. 

“Sore loser!’ Kelley shouts, but Tobin is already out of the room. 

—-

When they get back to the dorms, Tobin, Ashlyn and Ali are walking from the parking lot up to the dorms and Tobin sees Christen and Jenni standing next to Jenni’s car right in front of the dorms. Tobin just frowns as she watches Jenni smile at Christen, their hands interlaced in between them. 

She really has to resist the urge to go over and pull Jenni away from her. 

“Come on, Tobs,” Ali says softly, not missing Christen and Jenni or the way that Tobin is looking at them. 

Before Ali can guide Tobin inside, she sees Jenni lean forward and kiss Christen and Tobin almost loses it. She grits her teeth together and lets Ali practically drag her inside of the dorm rooms before she can do anything stupid. 

She knows that Christen is with Jenni and she knows that she’s moving on from her, but somehow seeing them kissing has just lit something inside of her. 

She doesn’t think she’s ever felt this angry before. Not even after losing an important game. 

But she also knows that it’s all her fault. 

But she has to do something. 

She can’t just let Christen go this easily. 

She can’t let Jenni steal her girl away.

—-

Tobin paces across her dorm room, still seething with anger and jealousy, so much so that she doesn’t even know what to do with herself. She wants to hit something, really hard but she knows that’s a bad idea. She’d been lucky the last time that she hadn’t broken her hand or done any terrible damage. 

But she has so many feelings swirling around inside of her that she almost feels like she’s going to black out. 

It only takes a few moments until she sees Christen walk by, headed into her own dorm room. 

Without even thinking, Tobin storms over and grabs Christen’s hand, turning her around to face her. 

Christen jumps, a bit startled and then relaxes when she sees Tobin, though she’s still not really sure what Tobin is doing. “Tobin what are-

She’s interrupted by Tobin pressing her lips against her own. 

Her eyes widen for a moment, shocked by the action, but then she can’t help but relax into Tobin’s arms, letting her kiss her, her body taking over her actions instead of her brain. Kissing Tobin feels nothing like kissing Jenni. Sure, it’s nice when Jenni kisses her but it feels nothing like this. 

Tobin feels like home. 

Like they’ve been doing this forever, and like they’re supposed to be doing this forever. 

But then her brain catches up with her, and she abruptly pulls away from Tobin, “Tobin what the hell?” She questions, trying to process everything, but it had all just happened so fast and it was the last thing that she had expected. 

“I’m sorry,” Tobin says with wide eyes. “I don’t-....I shouldn’t have done that,” she says, shaking her head at herself. “But, I saw you kissing Jenni and I-...I just lost it,” she admits to her. “I don’t know what came over me, but I just...I don’t like seeing you with her. I’ve been going crazy all night and then I saw you guys kiss and I-....I’m sorry,” she rambles, backing away from Christen. 

Christen just stares at Tobin, still in shock of it all and not knowing what to say to her. 

“I don’t want you kissing her,” Tobin says with a little more confidence, looking Christen in the eyes. 

Christen just lets out a bitter laugh, “Tobin I don’t have to do what you say. I’m not yours,” she reminds her. “You can’t just tell me who I can kiss and who I can’t,” she says, angrily. 

Tobin just shakes her head, taking a step towards Christen. “You are mine,” she tells her honestly. And when she starts to see Christen open her mouth, she stops her, “And I am yours,” she adds softly. 

Christen shakes her head, giving Tobin an incredulous look. “Tobin you made it very clear, that’s not what you want,” she tells her, folding her arms across her chest. “And yes, I know that you are in therapy and you’ve come to all of these realizations or whatever,” she says with a huff, “But it doesn’t change anything,” she tells her honestly. “And you can’t just grab me and kiss me without any warning,” she says, frustrated. 

“You’re right, that was terrible. I shouldn’t have done that,” Tobin agrees, looking at her apologetically. “But, I’m right,” she says with confidence. “You can date Jenni if you want. You can date whoever you want, but that doesn’t change the fact that we belong together, Christen. And I know that you know it,” she says, taking another step towards Christen, happy that the girl doesn’t back away from her. 

“It’s too late,” Christen says sadly, shaking her head. 

Tobin reaches out and grabs Christen’s hand and when she doesn’t pull away from her, Tobin pulls her into a hug, burying her face in Christen’s neck. “I’m yours, Christen,” she whispers. “Even if you don’t want me right now, that’s not going to change. I don’t want anyone else. I just want you and I’ll wait forever for you,” she says softly. 

“Tobin...” Christen says softly, her voice cracking a bit at the heaviness of that statement. And, she’s not resisting the hug, but she also isn’t putting her arms around Tobin and giving into her. Though, she’s finding it hard not to wrap her arms around Tobin and enjoy the feeling of being held by her and being so close to her. She still loves the feelings of being in Tobin’s arms. 

“I want to be with you, for real, Christen,” Tobin says, pulling away from her, just enough so that she can see her face. “I know what I want now and I’m not afraid of it anymore,” she informs her. “And even if we aren’t together, I’m going to prove it to you. I’m going to show you every day, how much you mean to me and how much I care for you. I want to show you that I can treat you the way you deserve to be treated,” she says softly. 

Christen finally finds the strength to pull away from Tobin, putting some space between them so she can try and think clearly. Being close to Tobin is making her brain all foggy. “Tobin, I can’t do this,” she tells her. “You’ve hurt me so much and I can’t go down this road again. I won’t be able to take it if you hurt me again,” she tells her honestly. 

“I won’t hurt you again,” Tobin tries to assure her. “I never want to see you hurting again. Especially not by me,” she tells her. “Just let me prove it to you,” she requests.

Christen swallows and looks down at the ground, not being able to look at Tobin right now. She wants to give in and tell Tobin she believes her and she wants to try, but she knows that’s stupid and she really has to try and protect herself this time. “Tobin, you should go,” she says quietly. “I really need to get some sleep,” she adds. 

Tobin just nods her head, “Okay. Just know that I’m not giving up on us, Christen,” she says. “I’m yours and I’m in this for the long haul. I don’t care how long it takes or how many people you try and date before you realize we are supposed to be together,” she tells her honestly. 

Christen doesn’t say anything and just keeps her head down, not wanting Tobin to see the tears in her eyes. She also doesn’t know if she can hold her ground, if she looks at Tobin right now. 

“Goodnight, Chris,” Tobin says softly, before leaving Christen’s room, leaving her alone for the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know your thoughts on the new chapter guys!! I'd love to know your opinion on the route I've taken and what is going on with the girls!
> 
> tumblr: dope1723


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! 
> 
> So, I haven't wanted to write too much Jenni/Christen is this story, however there is a little date scene in this chapter, just a warning! 
> 
> Enjoy!

Christen wakes up to her alarm ringing in her ear and she quickly reaches up, turning it off before it can wake Alex up. She makes sure to keep her phone next to her head while she sleeps and she turns it down a decent amount so that she can hear it but hopefully it doesn’t disturb Alex. Thankfully, she’s a light sleeper and so far she hasn’t had any issues, or Alex hasn’t complained yet. 

She knows that she gets up a lot earlier than most people and she just really doesn’t want to be a burden to her. But so far, Alex has been a pretty good roommate and she’s never made any comments about Christen’s quirks or things most people may be annoyed by.

Not to her face anyway. She’s not really sure what Alex has said to other people about her. 

And, she’s still not really sure where she stands with Alex. Sometimes she thinks they could become friends and other times she thinks Alex just puts up with her as a roommate but doesn’t really like her. But she’s used to people not liking her so it’s not really any different than before.

She checks the time on her phone and notices that she has a couple of texts from Tobin, which is surprising because she really didn’t think that Tobin would be awake this early. 

Tobin: Morning beautiful (:   
Tobin: Technically, it’s like 1am and I’m just now about to go to bed, but I wanted you to have a good morning text when you wake up and we both know that I won’t be up early enough to send you one in the morning.  
Tobin: I hope you have a good day (: 

Christen can’t help but smile at the sweet message, though she has some mixed feelings about it as well. 

After Tobin dropped that bomb on her, she’s had a lot to think about. 

And a lot to worry about. 

She’s still dating Jenni and she really does like the woman. Of course, she still has feelings for Tobin, but she’d convinced herself that it wasn’t going to happen and she needs to move on. And now, even with Tobin’s revelation, she still thinks that’s probably for the best.

Her and Tobin had been through so much and honestly, she’s having a hard time believing that Tobin has changed her mind so drastically so quickly. She knows that she can’t just say yes and jump back into Tobin’s arms like nothing ever happened. 

She’s got to try and be more careful with her heart this time around. 

And Jenni is really nice and funny and also beautiful. She can actually see herself really liking Jenni. Well, she already does really like Jenni, but she could see their relationship actually turning into something real. 

She just has to get Tobin out of her head. 

She gets out of bed and goes into their shared bathroom, throwing her curly hair in a messy bun and brushing her teeth, getting ready for the day. That’s also another good thing about getting up so early. She never has to worry about anyone else being in the bathroom and she can get ready in peace and without navigating around another person. 

Once she finishes up in the bathroom, she grabs her yoga mat and starts making her way down to the student gym to get her session in for the day. She’s only got one more exam left and she’s feeling pretty confident about it. Thankfully, she’s gotten the harder ones out of the way and she’s pretty sure that she’s done well on them. 

Or she doesn’t think she’s flunked them at least. 

Though, she always has that little seed of doubt in her mind that maybe she did fail. And it won’t go away until she actually sees her results. 

She plans to spend most of her day today studying and getting ready for the exam tomorrow. It’s not the most difficult one, but she still wants to be prepared and make sure that she does as well as she can. 

She’s also got to call her mom and finalize their plans for her to go home over the Christmas break. She’s excited to go home, but she’s not going to lie and say she’s dreading the day as well. She’s going to miss this place and her friends a lot more than she would have expected. Honestly, she never would have expected to even make friends, much less actually miss this place when she goes home.

When she gets into the gym she sees Ali setting her mat up in front of the mirror, just getting there herself. “Hi,” Christen greets with a smile, now used to having Ali’s presence there with her in the mornings. And it’s actually become a welcoming presence. 

“Morning,” Ali greets her with a sleepy smile. “I’m dragging a little more than usual so go easy on me,” she tells Christen with a small laugh. 

“You didn’t sleep well?” Christen asks curiously. 

“Just didn’t do much sleeping,” she says with an exaggerated wink. 

“Oh,” Christen says, her face turning beet red. “Right,” she says, looking down to fiddle with her mat, being too embarrassed to look at Ali. 

Ali just chuckles at the look on her face, finding her shyness adorable. “Yeah, I mean, we’re going to be away from each other for a little while so we’re trying to make the most of our time,” she informs her. 

“Oh right,” Christen nods, understanding. “Are you guys going to see each other at all during the break?” 

“Yeah, Ash is going to come visit for a few days and then I’ll probably go to her house for a few days, but we’ll be spending the actual holiday with our families,” she tells her. 

“That’s great that you guys will still get to see each other,” Christen nods with a sincere smile. 

“What about you? Think Jenni will come to see you?” Ali asks with a smile. 

“Oh, I doubt it,” Christen shakes her head. “We haven’t really talked about it, but we also haven’t been seeing each other for very long so I don’t think so,” she says with a small shrug. Honestly, she hadn’t even thought about asking Jenni, and Jenni hadn’t offered. But she’s really not sure she’s ready to introduce the girl to her family. She likes her, but they aren’t even really in a real relationship yet. 

And even if she did want to visit her and maybe just hang out around LA and not meet her parents, Christen isn’t sure they’re at a point in their relationship to ask her to travel that far just to visit her.

“What about Tobin?” Ali then asks, making Christen’s brows furrow. 

“Why would Tobin come visit me?” 

Ali just shrugs, “I don’t know, you guys are close or whatever,” she says, trying to make it seem a bit more casual than she knows it is between them. “And I know that Tobin doesn’t really like staying with her family for the full month,” she adds. “I’m sure she’ll end up going to see Alex or maybe even come with me and Ash,” she informs her. 

“Oh, I didn’t know that,” Christen says honestly. “Why doesn’t she like being with her family?” She asks curiously. She knows that Tobin doesn’t like to talk about her family much, but she didn’t realize she had that much of an issue with them to where she couldn’t even spend a month with them. 

“I don’t know,” Ali shrugs. “We’ve never really talked about it. She just always says a month is a long time to spend with them all.” 

“Oh,” Christen nods, figuring she shouldn’t ask much more about it. If she wants to know, she should probably just talk to Tobin about it. 

“So how about we get started?” Ali asks, realizing she probably shouldn’t have brought Tobin up in the first place. She’s not really sure where the two of them stand at the moment, but she thought things were getting a little better between them. She just hates watching the two of them suffer, when it’s clear they want to be together. 

And she’s kind of rooting for them. 

Though, she wants to make sure Tobin is truly in it and doesn’t hurt Christen again.

She also really likes Jenni and thinks that she could be good for Christen. She’s just not so sure Christen is over Tobin enough to really be with Jenni. And she knows that even if she tries to convince Christen to get over Tobin and to try and be happy with Jenni, that Christen will do what she wants. And she knows that what she wants is Tobin.

She’s just scared after everything. And she understands that.

She just hopes that Tobin has really come around and her intentions are true this time. But she also has a hard time seeing Tobin ever getting over whatever it is that makes her so against relationships in the first place. She also has a hard time seeing the girl actually admit to really wanting a relationship with Christen.

—-

After yoga, Christen stays behind and meditates for about 20 minutes and then makes her way outside of the gym. She’s surprised when she sees Tobin leaning up against the wall, twirling her skateboard around absentmindedly as she sips on a cup of coffee. 

“Tobin?” Christen asks, confused. “What are you doing?” She asks, knowing the woman was not normally up this early, unless she has class but Christen is pretty sure that she doesn’t have an exam this early today. 

Not that she memorizes her schedule or anything. 

But they’ve talked about exams and Christen has a good memory. 

“Oh, I brought you this,” Tobin says, leaning down to pick up another cup of coffee that was sitting next to her foot. 

“Thank you,” Christen says, a bit hesitantly, not really sure what Tobin is doing here or why she’s bringing her coffee. “Why?” She finally asks. 

Tobin just shrugs, giving Christen a wide grin. “I know you like to have coffee after your gym time,” she tells her. “I thought I’d bring you one so you don’t have to go to the cafe or you know, get crappy coffee from the cafeteria,” she shrugs. 

“Okay, well thank you,” she says again, still a little suspicious of Tobin's behaviour. She starts walking down the sidewalk and sees out of the corner of her eye, Tobin quickly grabs her board and starts following her, jogging a bit to catch up to her. 

“Did you get my text?” Tobin asks curiously. 

“I did,” Christen nods. 

Tobin just smiles, “Good.” 

Christen raises a brow and turns towards Tobin, stopping her from walking. “What is going on?” 

“What do you mean?” Tobin asks innocently. 

“The good morning text, the coffee?” Christen clarifies. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m just being nice,” Tobin shrugs. “I told you that I’m going to start treating you the way you deserve to be treated,” she reminds her. “Even if it’s just the little things,” she adds. “I know that we’re just friends and I’m not going to cross any lines, but I can still be nice to you, right?”

Christen wants to be annoyed with her, but she really can’t. She’s just trying not to get her hopes up at this new attentive and caring Tobin. 

Though, she can get used to this. 

“Yes, you can be nice to me,” she assures her with a small smile. “Thank you again for the coffee, but all of this is really not necessary,” she tells her. 

“Sure it is,” Tobin protests, just as they reach the dorms. She opens the door for Christen and dramatically waves her arm in front of herself, gesturing for Christen to walk inside, “After you,” she grins. 

Christen can’t help but chuckle as she rolls her eyes playfully at the girl, “Thanks,” she says, walking inside the building. “So are you excited to go home?” Christen asks curiously, turning back to glance at Tobin who is following her to the elevators. 

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugs simply. “I miss my mom and my siblings,” she tells her with a smile. 

“And your dad?” Christen asks carefully. 

“Yeah,” Tobin says simply, but Christen can tell she’s not as excited to see him as she is the rest of the family. “I bet you’re excited,” she says, the grin returning to her face. “Press pack, reunited,” she chuckles. 

Christen just giggles as they step off the elevator onto their floor. “Yeah, I’m really excited,” she agrees. “Though, I’ll actually miss this place a little,” she admits. 

“And me, of course,” Tobin says with a cheeky grin. 

“Not so sure about that one,” Christen says playfully, making Tobin gasp dramatically. 

“You know you’re going to miss me,” Tobin says with confidence, reaching out and pulling Christen into a bone crushing hug. “Just admit it,” she says, hugging Christen tighter and swaying her a little.

Christen giggles but lets out a scoff as she tries to pull herself from Tobin with no success, because she just keeps holding her tighter. Finally, Christen just gives in with a small sigh and wraps her arms around Tobin’s waist, hugging her back, her giggles subsiding. “Maybe a little,” she finally says, relaxing into Tobin’s arms. 

Tobin just chuckles at her stubbornness and gives her a little squeeze. “I’ll miss you too,” she tells her softly.

Before Christen can respond to her, they hear someone clearing their throat, making them pull away to find the source of the noise.

Christen’s face flushes red as she looks over to see Ashlyn and Ali peeking out of the dorm room, looking at them with raised brows.

Tobin, however, gives them a little glare for interrupting the two of them and their moment. Though she’s not surprised. It’s hard to get any privacy around here.

“Hey guys,” Ashlyn greets, stepping out into the hallway. “Are we interrupting something?” She asks with a smirk, looking between them.

“No,” Christen says quickly, still embarrassed. “What’s up?” 

“We heard voices out here,” Ali informs them. “We’re about to watch a movie and relax a bit. Have a bit of a lazy day, you guys want to join?” Ali asks with a hopeful smile. 

“Yes,” Tobin answers quickly, tugging on Christen’s hand and dragging her the rest of the way down the hallway. 

But, Christen stops and pulls her hand away from Tobin. “I really wanted to study today,” Christen informs them with a small frown. “I have my last exam tomorrow,” she says. 

Tobin pouts at her, and her shoulders deflate. 

“Well, it’s still early,” Ali says. “We can just watch a movie and maybe get some lunch and then you can have the rest of the afternoon to study,” she suggests with a small shrug. 

“Yes,” Tobin says, nodding eagerly. “Plus, your last exam is English and I know you’ve got that down already,” Tobin says, knowing that’s been one of the classes that has left her with the least amount of stress over the semester. 

Christen just raises an eyebrow at her, surprised that she knows which exam she has tomorrow. “Okay fine,” Christen says, not being able to turn down all the pouting faces in front of her. “One movie and a quick lunch,” she negotiates. “And then I get the afternoon to myself,” she informs them.

“Deal,” Ali says with a nod, letting her know they won’t try and force her to hang out longer than that. Though, she can’t say the same for Tobin. “Tobs, deal?” She asks with a smirk. 

“Fine,” Tobin sighs, knowing that she will take what she can get. 

—-

They all get settled in Tobin and Ashlyn’s room. Ashlyn and Ali cuddled up on Ashlyn’s bed and Christen and Tobin sitting next to each other on Tobin’s bed. Christen had made sure to put a decent amount of space between them. Or at least as much space as she could on a twin sized bed. 

Tobin however, scoots closer to Christen, giving her a mischievous grin without saying anything. Christen eyes her a bit suspiciously but doesn’t say anything to her about it. She knows that Tobin is playing with the boundaries of their relationship and she can tell by the look on Tobin’s face that she knows exactly what she’s doing. But she can’t find it in her to be mad or to put a stop to it. She likes being close to Tobin.

That is, until Tobin puts her arm around Christen’s shoulders. 

That’s a line Christen isn’t ready to cross yet and she knows it’s getting into dangerous territory. 

Christen grabs Tobin’s hand from off off her shoulder and lifts it back up, putting her hand back in Tobin’s lap, giving her a warning look. 

Tobin continues to grin at her, clearly not put off by the rejection, but she doesn’t try to touch her again. She just shrugs her shoulders and wiggles down the bed a little, making herself comfortable as the movie starts up. 

“I’m glad you’re here,” Tobin whispers softly, reaching out and squeezing Christen’s hand, before letting it go again, not wanting to push anymore boundaries. 

But she had to at least get that out. 

She knows that she deserves for Christen to hate her and not want to be around her at all. And even if she doesn’t have Christen in the way she wants her yet, she’s happy to accept just having her around at all. 

She knows that she deserves a lot less than this. 

But, Christen is just too good and too forgiving. It’s one of the things that Tobin loves about her.

—-

Sometime during the movie, Christen had slid down into the bed so that she’s laying down on her side, Tobin’s pillow clutched in her arms, cuddled up against her chest. She always ends up getting tired during movies and admittedly, she has a hard time staying awake through most of them. It also doesn’t help that she’s been so stressed out over exams and barely getting any sleep because of it. 

It also doesn’t help, being in Tobin’s bed, surrounded by her comforting scent. 

She really didn’t stand a chance. 

However, she manages to stay away, for the most part. She feels drowsy and like she could fall asleep any moment, but she’s mostly just content. So content that she doesn’t even push Tobin away when she feels the girl start to play with her hair, running her fingers through her thick curls. 

It’s even more comforting. 

Even when the movie ends, she finds herself not wanting to move or to have Tobin stop playing with her hair. But when she hears Ali and Ashlyn start to shuffle around on the bed next to them and sees one of them flipping through Netflix to find another movie, she knows that she should probably sit up. 

She also only agreed to one movie so she should probably see if they want to get some lunch, or she should go ahead and go start studying. 

“Well, that was a bore,” Tobin says with a groan, winking over at Christen who is situating herself against the headboard, next to her. 

“Oh shut up,” Ashlyn says, throwing a pillow at her. “What do you have against romance movies?” She asks, rolling her eyes. 

Tobin just shrugs her shoulders, “They’re boring and super predictable,” she tells her. 

“They’re romantic!” Ali protests. “Those two were totally soulmates,” she gushes, leaning over to wrap her arms around Ashlyn. “It was sweet,” she adds with a soft smile. 

Tobin nods her head thoughtfully, “Yeah well, you could tell within the first five minutes of the movie that they were going to end up together,” she says matter of fact. “Like it was inevitable no matter what happened in the middle of their story,” she says, sneaking a glance over at Christen. “They were meant to be,” she nods, being able to agree with Ali on that one. 

Even if it was kind of boring. 

But she also finds herself being able to relate to it.

Christen looks away from Tobin and shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know, the guy was kind of cocky and annoying. Maybe she should have ended up with the other guy,” she says, biting her lip, trying to hide a mischievous grin, as she subtly glances at Tobin. 

Tobin rolls her eyes at Christen, knowing what she’s doing. 

“No way, they were soulmates,” Ali argues. “They were opposites and they bickered some, but they were totally perfect for each other,” she gushes. “And I think she secretly loved the cockiness,” Ali says, still talking about the movie. 

But Tobin smirks, looking at Christen, knowing they’re both not really talking about the movie anymore. “I definitely think she loved the cockiness,” Tobin can’t help but agree with a smug grin. 

This time, Christen rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, totally,” Ashlyn agrees, still clueless that they’re not speaking about the movie that they just watched. “She just had to stop resisting and admit it to herself that they were inevitable,” she says with a sigh. 

Tobin just smiles sincerely at Christen, raising a brow at her. 

Christen can’t help but smile back at Tobin, though when the conversation really hits her, she starts to feel a bit overwhelmed again. 

“So are we going to get lunch? Or Brunch, I guess” She asks, really wanting to change the subject. 

“Yeah, I could eat,” Ashlyn nods, pulling away from Ali and climbing off the bed. “I just need to fix my hair,” she tells them. 

Ali smirks and starts messing with Ashlyn’s hair, messing it up even more than it already was, “Yeah you do,” she can’t help but laugh, looking at her girlfriend’s disheveled hair. 

“Shut up,” Ashlyn grumbles. “I haven’t even fixed it this morning,” she defends, escaping to the bathroom. 

—-

“I’ll get your order babe, go find us a table,” Ashlyn says, kissing Ali on the lips, before heading for the line. 

Tobin glances over at Christen and gives her a small smile, “I can grab yours too, if you want to go and sit with Ali,” she offers, sweetly. “Açaí bowl, extra raspberries, right?” She asks with a cheeky grin. 

“Don’t you dare,” Christen glares, knowing that Tobin knows she doesn’t like raspberries. 

Tobin just laughs, giving her an innocent grin. “Go, I know what you like,” she assures her. 

“Thanks,” Christen says quietly, before turning to go and join Ali at the table in the corner. 

“Hey,” Ali greets her with a smile, as she watches Christen sit down across from her, “You aren’t eating?” She questions curiously. 

“Oh, Tobin’s grabbing it,” she says, and Ali just raises a brow at her. “I mean, I suppose there’s no point in all of us standing in line and you’d be over here by yourself,” she tries to explain, not wanting it to seem as couplish as it does. Or for her to make a big deal out of it. 

“Right, of course,” Ali says with a teasing smile, making Christen blush. “You guys seemed to be having a moment when we caught you in the hallway,” she says, raising a brow at Christen. 

Christen blushes even harder and averts her eyes away from Ali. “No, not really,” she says with an uncomfortable shrug. “We were just joking around,” she informs her. 

“Hugging is your way of joking around?” Ali asks with a smirk. “It was a pretty intimate looking hug,” she adds, but then winces a bit, not knowing if she’s taking things too far. She knows how anxious Christen can get and she doesn’t want to upset her by pushing her on things with Tobin. However, sometimes she can’t stop herself from calling them out. “Sorry, I’m not trying to get into your business or anything,” she tells her softly. 

“We were just talking about going home for break and I was joking about not missing her so she forced me into a hug, trying to get me to change my mind,” she explains. “It’s not really a big deal,” she adds. 

Ali just nods her head and tries not to comment on the fact that they’d definitely been flirting with each other. “Well, I know that I’m going to miss you,” Ali says with a smile, trying to change the subject off of Tobin. 

Christen looks back over at her and gives her a smile, “I’ll miss you too,” she says honestly. 

“Here you are, my lady,” Tobin says with a grin, placing Christen’s açaí bowl down in front of her. “And your coffee,” she says, placing a cup of coffee down in front of her, made just the way she likes it. “And also a green juice,” she says, also putting down a glass of pressed juice in front of her. 

Christen smiles shyly at Tobin, not missing the way that Ali is smirking at them. “Thank you,” she says softly, before she starts eating, avoiding Ali’s gaze. “Tobin, there are still raspberries on here,” she says with a frown, thinking that Tobin was going to ask for no raspberries. 

“Those are for me,” she says with a grin, reaching over and stealing a few from Christen’s bowl. 

“You have your own,” Christen says, rolling her eyes. 

“But now I can have more,” she says as if it were obvious. “Here, I’ll let you have my kiwi,” she tells her, picking the fruit off of her bowl and placing it on Christen’s. “Aren’t you proud of me for getting this,” she then says, pointing down to the matching açaí bowl that she’d gotten for herself. 

Christen just smiles and shakes her head, “Very proud,” she tells her, with a chuckle. 

Tobin just grins widely and goes back to eating her lunch, feeling satisfied with herself.

Ashlyn clears her throat, pulling them out of their own little world, “So, Christen, how’s it going with Jenni?” Ashlyn asks, making Ali nudge her in the ribs. “What?” Ashlyn asks with a shrug. 

Ali just sends her a glare and then looks over to Christen who looks slightly uncomfortable. 

“Good,” she responds softly, nodding her head. “I mean, I like hanging out with her,” she informs them. “But, we’re kind of just taking things slow,” she adds, quietly, glancing over at Tobin, who is suddenly very interested in her lunch. “We uh, we’re going to hang out tomorrow night, before I have to leave,” she adds. 

“Yeah? What are you guys doing?” Ashlyn ass curiously. 

“We’re just going to hang out at her apartment. She’s going to make some dinner and we’re going to watch a movie. Just have a quiet night in,” she explains. 

“Quiet night in, aye?” Ashlyn asks with a smirk, wiggling her brows at Christen. 

“Ash,” Ali says in a warning tone 

“I’m just saying,” Ashlyn replies with a shrug. “Cooking dinner? Watching a movie...it normally means something else,” she explains and Ali lets out a long sigh, shaking her head at her girlfriend. 

Christen’s eyes widen and her face turns bright red. “We’re just hanging out,” she says, growing anxious. “I just wanted a quiet night in. She knows that I don’t really like going out,” she further explains, not wanting them to make a big deal about it. She definitely doesn’t expect them to have sex or anything tonight. 

And honestly, she hadn’t even thought that much about it, but now she is. 

And now she feels like she’s going to have a panic attack. 

“I’m sure you’ll have a good time,” Ali says with a smile, sensing Christen’s anxieties. 

“I need another cup of coffee,” Tobin comments, excusing herself from the table. 

Christen follows her with her eyes and feels a little guilty, because she knows why Tobin is upset. 

“Um, I’m going to go pay for that cup, since she bought my lunch,” Christen says, giving them a bit of an explanation before, standing up from the table and following Tobin. “Hey,” she says softly, walking up behind the girl who is at the counter.

Tobin jumps slightly and turns to look at Christen, giving her a small smile in return, “Hey,” she says back, giving her a curious look, not really sure why she’d followed her up to the counter. “Did you need another cup?” She asks curiously, though she knows that Christen has barely touched the first one.

Honestly, Tobin was only about half way done with her own, but she’d really needed a reason to get away from the table and their conversation. 

“No,” Christen shakes her head, “I was going to pay for your coffee,” Christen informs her. And before Tobin can protest, she’s reaching out handing the barista some money before Tobin can beat her to it. “You bought my lunch, it’s only fair,” she tells her with a shrug. 

“Right, thanks,” Tobin nods, as they move a few steps over to the side of the counter to wait for her coffee. 

“Look, I’m sorry that they brought Jenni up,” Christen says, feeling the need to apologize. She knows that if Tobin were dating another woman, she definitely wouldn’t want to hear about it or have to talk about it. 

“It’s fine,” Tobin says with a small shrug. “Doesn’t bother me,” she adds, nonchalantly. 

Christen nods her head, studying Tobin’s face, “It’s okay if it does bother you. I mean, I know that it would bother me-

“Christen it doesn’t bother me,” Tobin says a bit more firmly, looking Christen in the eyes. 

“Right, okay,” Christen nods. She gives Tobin another look, before turning away to start walking back over to their table. But then Tobin grabs her hand, and spins her back around to face her. 

“It doesn’t-...I mean, it kind of bothers me,” she says softly. “But, for the most part it doesn’t, and you know why?” She asks. 

Christen just shakes her head, looking at her a bit unsurely. 

“Because we’re just like all those stupid romance movies you guys make me watch all the time,” she says, making Christen’s brows furrow in confusion. “We are inevitable and Jenni is just a sub character brought in to stir things up and create a little drama,” she starts to explain. “She’s just here to help us realize that we’re actually supposed to be together. So yeah, I don’t like the thought of you being with someone else, but I’m not worried about her. We’re endgame here, Christen,” she says confidently. 

Christen’s eyes dart back and forth between Tobin’s as she takes in her words, not really sure how she feels about them. “Tobin, this is real life, not some stupid movie,” she tells her. 

“Sure, but I still believe it’s true,” she says with a small shrug. “I know we'll be together and that makes all of this a little bit better. I just have to deal with it until you stop being stubborn and admit what we both already know,” she tells her with a smile. 

Christen scoffs at her, “This isn’t a joke or some stupid movie, Tobin. You broke my heart,” she says, raising a tone just a bit. “I’m not being stubborn, I’m just not being stupid,” she adds a bit harshly. 

Tobin sighs, and nods her head, knowing that Christen is right. “You’re right, I’m sorry,” she says softly. 

“It’s fine,” Christen says with a small sigh, before turning away from Tobin and making her way back over to the table, not really wanting to continue this conversation. 

And Tobin grabs her coffee off the counter, before following Christen like a kicked puppy. 

When she sits at the table next to Christen, she can physically feel the tension between them and it hurts. She feels like she just keeps upsetting and disappointing Christen and all she’s trying to do is the opposite. 

Admittedly, she’s still not great at this relationship stuff. But she’s really trying. And yeah, maybe this isn’t like the movies and she just has to say some cheesy lines or make some grand romantic gesture and expect to have Christen back. 

She’s going to have to work harder than that. 

But she’s up for the challenge. She’ll do anything to prove to Christen that she’s in this and she won’t hurt her again. 

Chewing on her lip, she tries to wrack her brain on something to do or say to try and make the situation better, but she’s not really sure what she can do. Maybe she’d crossed a line by saying all of those things to Christen. But she truly believes them to be true. She just needs to think things through a bit more before speaking.

She grabs her spoon and scoops up some of the pomegranate seeds from her bowl and reaches over, plopping them down onto Christen’s bowl, knowing that they’re one of her favorites. And they’re her favorite too, but she’ll give up anything for Christen. 

And it’s not much, but she sees a little smile appear on Christen’s face when she looks down at the pomegranate. 

She’ll take it as a win. 

—-

The following day, Christen is pacing around in her dorm room nervously, talking to herself and using dramatic hand gestures, like she always does when she’s anxious or upset about something. Or even excited. Honestly, she uses her hands a lot when she’s speaking and expressing herself. 

And that is true also, even when she’s alone and talking to herself.

She’s about to get ready to go meet Jenni for their date, and she’s absolutely freaking out about it. 

It’s not like it’s their first date or anything, but normally they just go have coffee or dinner, or they go play soccer or something along those lines. She’s never been to Jenni’s apartment before and she’s never really been alone with her like she will be tonight. They’ve pretty much always been in public places, except for being in Jenni’s car, which is still not completely private.

And honestly she hadn’t thought much of tonight, until Ashlyn had made a suggestive comment about them being alone together at her apartment. And now she’s completely freaking out. 

She was just now getting used to going on dates with the woman that she didn’t know, because before now, she’s never been on a date with anyone. She can normally barely even speak to someone she doesn’t know, much less go out on a date. She’s had to step out of her comfort zone a lot and figure out what to do and what to talk about with a stranger. 

And now she knows Jenni better and she’s definitely starting to feel comfortable around her, but she’s not so sure that she’s ready to take their relationship to that next level. And before Ashlyn had made a comment on it, she hadn’t really thought that’s what was going to happen. It hadn’t even crossed her mind, but now it’s all she can think about. 

Is Jenni going to expect her to have sex with her tonight? 

She’s not really sure what to do and now she’s a nervous wreck all over again. Just when she’d gotten passed being nervous around Jenni, she’s back to square one. 

Back to panicking. 

Not really knowing what to, she steps out into the hallway, and peaks her head into Ashlyn and Tobin’s room, seeing the two of them sitting on their respective beds. Ali is also cuddled up with Ashlyn, which makes her let out a sigh of relief. 

“Hey Chris,” Tobin greets, being the first one to notice her lingering in the doorway. She also doesn’t miss how anxious Christen looks, and she’s up on her feet before anyone else can say anything. “What’s wrong?” She asks, approaching Christen, and reaching out, cupping her face, looking at her worriedly. 

“Nothing,” Christen lies, trying to give Tobin a smile. 

She just doesn’t want to worry her, but she also knows that Tobin will see right through it. 

“Do you want to take a walk or something?” She asks, gently, caressing Christen’s cheeks with thumbs.

Christen shakes her head and reaches up, grabbing Tobin’s hands, pulling them away from her face. “No,” she says softly. “I um-...” she starts to say, but then swallows, turning nervous again. She’s not used to having friends like this or asking for help. But she’s trying to learn when to ask for it. 

It’s just a little nerve wracking. 

Which she knows is dumb because Ali has always been nothing but kind to her and she’s made it very clear that she can come to her for anything. “I um...was hoping to talk to Ali,” she finally says, glancing back at the girl, who is still sitting on Ashlyn’s bed, but she’s sitting up, alert and ready to help if needed. 

Tobin’s brows furrow and she looks a little hurt for a moment, but she doesn’t comment on it. 

Christen feels a little bad, because she knows that Tobin cares about her and wants to help her when she’s anxious like this. And normally, Tobin would be the only one that could bring Christen down from a panic attack. But, Christen also knows that this isn’t something she can talk to Tobin about. 

“Yeah, of course,” Ali assures her, standing up from the bed. She leans over kissing Ashlyn on the cheek, before approaching Christen and Tobin. “Do you want to go back to your room? Or we could go for a walk or something?” She suggests, ready to do whatever Christen is more comfortable with. 

“We can just go to my room,” she tells her. “Alex is taking an exam,” she adds.

“Okay,” Ali nods, giving Christen a smile.

When Christen turns around to walk to her room, Ali turns towards Tobin and places a comforting hand on her shoulder, giving her a look, letting her know that she’ll take care of Christen and not to worry too much.

Tobin just gives her a small nod in return as she watches the two of them retreat back to her room. 

“Wonder what that’s about,” Ashlyn says, curiously. 

Tobin just turns and looks at her, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t know,” she says, feeling a little defeated that Christen hadn’t wanted her help. 

—-

“What’s up?” Ali asks, from her spot on Christen’s bed. She’s been watching Christen pace the room for a few minutes now, waiting on Christen to start talking, but so far she hasn’t. And she doesn’t want to rush her, but she also has a feeling that Christen may need a little nudge to get her to start talking. “Are you okay?” She asks softly. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods, “I just....I’m freaking out,” she says in a shaky voice. 

“About what? Didn’t you take your last exam this morning? Are you nervous that you didn’t do well?” She asks, hoping that maybe if she guesses the problem, it’ll be easier for Christen to start talking about. 

“No,” Christen shakes her head, “I mean, yes, I took the exam but that’s not why I’m freaking out,” she tells her, feeling a little frazzled and out of control.

Ali just nods her head, trying to figure out what has Christen so upset, but she’s going to need a little more information if she wants her to help. “Okay, well do you want to tell me what’s going on?” She asks gently. 

Christen just sighs, her shoulders deflating. “It’s about Jenni,” she tells her, fidgeting with her fingers nervously. “And our date tonight,” she adds, for some more clarification. 

“Okay, well you guys have been on a few dates already, right?” She asks curiously, not sure why Christen is so worked up this time around. 

“Yeah, but not...I mean...not like this,” she says unsurely. 

“Not like what?” Ali asks softly. 

Christen sighs, her face turning beat red. She’s not really sure how to say this, because she kind of has a hard time talking about this stuff with other people. “Well...do you remember what Ashlyn said yesterday?” She asks, hoping that Ali will understand what she’s talking about without her having to actually say it. 

Ali finally starts to click the pieces together and she nods her head, “yeah, I do,” she confirms. “But, Chris, don’t listen to Ashlyn. She was just being annoying,” she tries to assure her with a small eye roll. “She didn’t really mean anything by it and you shouldn’t think too much into it,” she tells her. 

Christen lets out a long sigh and sits down next to Ali, “Do you think that Jenni is going to expect that?” She asks quietly. 

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Ali tells her, which doesn’t really make Christen feel any better. “I don’t know Jenni very well and I don’t know much about your relationship,” she tells her honestly. “But, I’m pretty sure you are a good judge of character and I don’t believe you’d be with someone who would expect anything from you that you aren’t ready for,” she says. 

“I don’t know if I’m such a good judge of character,” she says honestly, with a frown. And she kind of believes that. She always tries to see the best in people and sometimes she can be oblivious to malicious acts or people who aren’t true. “But, I don’t really think Jenni is like that,” she then says, feeling herself relax a little bit. 

“Have you and Jenni done anything sexual?” Ali asks gently, knowing that Christen is probably about to get really embarrassed. 

And she’s right, because Christen’s face turns bright red. “Um...no.. I mean...” she starts stammering, before stopping herself and taking in a deep breath. She’s a grown adult, she can talk about this stuff. It shouldn’t be this embarrassing. “We’ve made out a few times and she...well she’s kind of felt me up a little,” she admits, and she can actually feel the heat radiating off of her face. “But nothing more than that,” she says, swallowing hard. 

Ali can’t help but grin, at how shy and adorable Christen is, but she tries to contain herself, for Christen’s sake. “Okay, well has she said anything to you about it?” She asks curiously. 

“Not really,” Christen says, shaking her head. “I mean, she’s made comments afterwards, about how she likes kissing me and stuff like that, but she also always makes sure that I’m okay and she always tells me to let her know if it’s too much,” she explains. “But, we’ve also never really been anywhere private together other than in her car and then at the soccer fields, but that’s still not exactly private,” she adds. “I just...I don’t think that she’s going to pressure me into anything tonight, but I also don’t want to disappoint her,” she says quietly. 

“Why do you think you’re going to disappoint her?” Ali asks, curiously. 

“I don’t know...I mean, I know she’s had sex before and she’s obviously experienced,” she tells her. “And obviously, when you are dating someone you expect it to go there at some point and I just don’t want her to think that I don’t want it or that I don’t want her,” she explains. 

“Well do you want it?” 

“I don’t know,” Christen shrugs with a sigh. “Maybe, eventually,” she admits. “But, I don’t think that I’m there yet,” she adds, looking over at Ali. 

Ali nods, giving her a soft smile, trying to bring her some sort of comfort. “Well, you just need to tell her that,” she informs Christen, even though it may not be what she wants to hear. “And if she really likes you then she will understand and she will be willing to wait until you’re ready,” she assures her. 

“And what if she isn’t willing to wait for me?” She questions in a small voice. 

“Well then she sucks and you could do better anyway,” Ali says with a smirk. 

Christen lets out a small laugh, but then frowns, shaking her head. “I really like her but...I don’t know, I’m just so confused,” she admits. 

“What are you confused about?” Ali asks. 

Christen looks back down at her hands, fiddling with them in her lap, “Tobin,” she admits quietly. 

Ali just nods, understanding. “Right,” she says, already having some sort of idea that’s what all this was about. Or at least some of it. “What are you feeling confused about? Your feelings for her?” She asks carefully. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods. “I keep telling myself to get over her and to move on, but I’m just lying to myself,” she says, shaking her head. “And honestly, I really do like Jenni but I also don’t know if it’s fair for me to be with her when I have these feelings for Tobin,” she says, frustrated. “I just want to be over Tobin,” she groans. 

“Do you, though?” Ali says bravely. “Do you really want to be over, Tobin?” She asks, to clarify. 

Christen looks over at her, a bit shocked at being called out like that. But she can’t really argue with her. “I don’t know,” she admits. “She uh...she told me that she wants to actually be with me,” she admits to Ali. “Like an actual committed relationship,” she adds, which slightly catches Ali off guard. 

“Really?” She asks, a bit surprised. She knows that Tobin obviously has feelings for Christen and she hasn’t been trying to hide it as much anymore but she also didn’t realize that Tobin had made that big of a turn around or has made such a big admission to Christen. 

She’s kind of proud of her. 

“Yeah,” Christen nods. “She apologized about everything and we talked about a lot of stuff,” she tells her, not wanting to go too much into detail because she knows that it’s Tobin’s business and she probably doesn’t want everyone knowing the intimate details. “She said she’s working on herself and she’s realized that she wants to be with me and she can’t deny that anymore and that she’s going to start treating me the way that I deserve to be treated and that she’s going to prove to me that she deserves me,” she says. 

Ali sits there, taking in all the information, feeling a bit overwhelmed. She could tell that Tobin has changed and that something was going on with her, but she didn’t realize that she’d come this far and that she was actually ready to try and be in a real relationship. 

She just wishes she could gloat about it.

But she knows she can’t say anything until Tobin does. 

“And I want to believe her. A part of me just really wants it to be true and to believe that I could be with her and be happy, but then the other part of me is terrified that she’s still not ready for it and that she’s just going to hurt me again,” Christen continues. “I don’t know if I could go through that again,” she admits, sadly. 

“I get that,” Ali nods, putting a gentle hand over one of Christen’s, giving it a little squeeze. 

“And, I really do think that I’m starting to like Jenni,” Christen then admits, looking back up at Ali. “She makes me laugh, and she’s so sweet. I actually really like being around her,” she informs her with a smile. 

“And not to mention, hot,” Ali says, winking at Christen, making her blush once again. 

“Yes, and that,” Christen admits shyly.

“I don’t want to give up on Jenni, because I think that it could lead to something really good,” she admits to her. “But, I also feel guilty because I still have these feelings for Tobin,” she sighs, shaking her head. 

“Well, I can’t really tell you what to do, or how to feel,” Ali tells her gently. “But, you’ve definitely got to decide if you want to try things with Tobin or if you just want to be with Jenni,” she tells her. “You definitely don’t need to keep stringing either of them along,” she says. 

“I know, I don’t want to do that,” Christen frowns. “And honestly, I’ve told Tobin a million times that we shouldn’t be together and that I don’t want her like that anymore, but she doesn’t really give up,” she sighs. 

“I can see that,” Ali can’t help but smirk. “She’s not really one to give up on something that she knows she wants,” she informs her. “But, I see the way you guys interact with each other and maybe you’re telling her you don’t want to be with her, but your actions aren’t saying it. You just need to be very direct and don’t give her any mixed signals or hope that you guys could possibly work it out,” she explains to her. “But, I also don’t really think that you mean it when you tell her you don’t want to be with her,” Ali says knowingly. 

“I do want to be with her,” Christen sighs, running her hands over her face. “But, I know that I shouldn’t be and it’s not a good idea so I’m trying to convince not only her but myself that I’m over her,” she says. “I guess I’m not doing a very good job,” she sighs. “Should I break up with Jenni?” She then asks, looking over at Ali with sad eyes. 

Ali chews on her lip and scoots closer to Christen, putting an arm around her. “I think you should go and hang out with her again before you leave,” she tells her honestly. “And then I think you should take advantage of this break. Take advantage of not seeing them both for a few weeks and try and figure out what it really is that you want,” she advises. 

Christen takes in a deep breath and nods her head, “Yeah, i guess you’re right,” Christen nods. “But I’m still freaking out about tonight,” she admits with another sigh. 

“Don’t worry about upsetting her,” Ali tries to tell her. “Honestly, I don’t think she’s going to be upset but if she’s upset over something like this, then you really don’t need to be with her anyway,” Ali says, hoping that Christen will agree and calm down slightly. “You said yourself that you like hanging out with her so go and hang out with her and have a good time. Enjoy yourself,” she tells her. 

“Yeah, okay,” Christen nods confidently, though she knows that’s going to be a lot easier said than done. “I should start getting ready. Thank you, Ali,” she says, smiling at the girl sincerely. 

“Yeah, no problem,” she says, standing up off the bed. “Really, you can come to me anytime, Christen,” she assures her with a sincere smile. 

“Thanks,” Christen smiles back. “And, I don’t know if there’s really anything I could ever help you with, but you can come to me anytime, as well,” she returns sincerely. 

Ali smiles at her, and pulls her into a friendly hug, giving her a little squeeze, “Thank you, Christen,” she grins. “Go get ready and remember to just relax and have fun,” she tries to tell her, giving her a grin. 

“Right,” Christen nods, letting out a shaky breath, but smiling at Ali as she watches her walk out of her dorm room. 

—-

As soon as Ali walks back into Ashlyn’s dorm room, she sees Tobin sit up on the bed looking at her expectantly. 

“Is she okay?” She asks immediately. 

“She’s fine,” Ali assures her, sitting down on Ashlyn’s bed, next to her girlfriend. “She just needed to talk about some stuff,” she informs them. “Private stuff,” she adds, when she sees them continue to look at her expectantly. 

“I’m glad that she has you. You’re a good friend,” Ashlyn tells her sweetly, reaching out to rub Ali’s back. 

Tobin just frowns, “I just don’t know why she couldn’t talk to me about it,” she says with a small sigh. “I mean, I’m glad she has you too and I don’t expect to be her only friend, but normally she comes to me,” she explains sadly. 

Ali just sighs, shaking her head at Tobin, “It was some stuff about Jenni,” she reveals, vaguely. “So you can see why she wouldn’t want to talk to you,” she tells her, hoping to make her feel a little better. 

“Oh,” Tobin says simply, her brows furrowing. 

An awkward silence falls over the group for a couple of minutes and Ashlyn and Ali just look at each other, trying to figure out what to say or how to cheer Tobin up. She also feels a little worse for Tobin now that she knows the extent of Tobin’s feelings and how she’d finally opened herself up to Christen and told her she actually wants to try a relationship with her. 

They’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time and she just doesn’t want this to make Tobin give up on relationships for good.

“Are they okay? Or...I mean...I don’t know,” Tobin sighs, struggling to find the words. “I just...is she okay? Did Jenni do something?” 

“She’s fine, Tobin,” Ali says softly. “She’s just a bit nervous for their date tonight,” she says, though that’s pretty much all that she’s going to give them. She definitely doesn’t think that Christen would want her telling them that she’s worried about sex with Jenni or how she’s nervous about it. 

“Oh okay,” Tobin nods, swallowing hard. “Um, I’m going to go for a walk,” she says, standing up from the bed. 

Ali gets up and stands in front of her, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Are you okay, Tobin?” She asks softly. 

“I’m fine,” she nods. But Ali gives her a stern look so she sighs and looks away. “I’m not fine, but I’ll be okay,” she says honestly, that being the best she can give her. “I just need to get some air,” she tells her. “Clear my mind a bit,” she adds with a small shrug. 

“Okay well when you get back, we’re going to order some food and watch some movies,” Ashlyn tells her. “So don’t take too long,” she adds with a smile. 

Tobin just gives her a small smile in return, grateful that they’re willing to be there for her and to comfort her, even when she doesn’t ask for it, and possibly when she doesn’t even deserve it. “Thanks,” she says softly, before walking out of the dorm. 

—

When Tobin gets back to the dorm rooms she sees Christen walking outside just as she’s about to enter. “Oh hi,” Tobin greets, unable to stop herself from smiling, no matter how down she’s feeling. 

Christen just does that to her. She can always put a smile on her face. 

“Hey,” Christen greets back, giving her a smile as well. “What are you doing?” Christen asks curiously. 

“Oh just went for a walk,” Tobin shrugs. She looks Christen up and down and bites her lip, “You look nice,” she compliments, noticing the dark jeans and nice top, that are very different from what she normally just wears around school. She’s dressed up like she does when they go out sometimes. She has her hair down, all curly and gorgeous just the way Tobin likes it and she’s even wearing makeup, which she rarely ever wears. 

“Thank you,” Christen says with a light blush. 

“Hey um, can we do something together, before you leave? Like just the two of us?” Tobin asks her in a small voice, not really sure if Christen will agree to it, but hoping that she does. 

And Christen looks thoughtful for a moment, before nodding her head, “Yeah sure,” she says with a smile. “My parents will be working tomorrow so they can’t come and get me until Saturday morning,” she tells her. “I don’t really have plans tomorrow though, so just let me know what you’d like to do,” she tells her. 

“Okay, awesome. I’ll figure something out tonight and I’ll get back to you,” Tobin tells her with a grin. “Think you could give me most of the day?” She asks with a mischievous grin, knowing she’s asking for a lot, but hoping that Christen will say yes. 

And Christen giggles at her, “Well, I know some of the other girls want to hang out as well, so they may be mad at you for stealing me away for most of the day,” she informs her. 

“I don’t care if they’re mad at me,” Tobin grins. “They’ll get over it,” she adds with a shrug. 

“What are you wanting to do?” She asks curiously. 

Tobin shrugs her shoulders, “I don’t know. I thought we could go on a hike or something,” she tells her. “I’ve been walking a lot of the trails lately, when I do my therapy stuff,” she tells her quietly. “I’ve found some really beautiful places that I think you’d like,” she adds. 

“Okay, that sounds perfect,” Christen says, smiling softly at her. “We start early tomorrow morning?” She asks with a cheeky grin, knowing how much Tobin hates waking up early. 

Tobin lets out a groan and throws her head back, before looking back to Christen with a smile, “I’m down,” she shrugs, surprising Christen. “I hate the morning time, but if it means that I get to spend more time with you then I’m not going to complain,” she explains. 

Christen feels a light blush appear on her cheeks and she smiles shyly at Tobin. “Okay,” she nods. “I’ll be knocking on your door, bright and early,” she says with a chuckle. 

“Okay. We’ll just have to stop for coffee first,” she says. 

“Obviously,” Christen giggles. 

A moment later, they hear a car honking, making them look over to see Jenni pulling up next to the curb in front of them. The woman waves at them with a big grin on her face and climbs out of her car, heading towards them. 

“Oh um, I should get inside,” Tobin says, wanting to escape before she gets forced to actually interact with Jenni. She turns on her heels and starts heading towards the doors, but gets stopped by Jennie’s voice. 

“Hey Tobin,” she hears, making her stop in her tracks. She winces and then puts on a fake smile before turning around to face the couple. 

“Hey, Jenni,” she greets, taking a couple of steps closer towards them, trying to be polite. But she sees Jenni cup Christen’s face and kiss her on the lips as she greets her and Tobin has to look away. “Uh, you guys have fun. Nice to see you, Jenni,” she says a bit awkwardly, trying to get herself out of the situation before they pull her into a conversation. 

“Bye Tobin,’ she hears Christen’s soft voice say as she makes her way into the dorms, not bothering to look back again. 

She can’t stomach it anymore. 

When she gets back up to her room, she sees Ashlyn and Ali there, with a crap ton of takeout boxes littering the beds as well as junk food. She eyes it with a raised brow and gives them a small smirk. “Really?” 

Ashlyn just shrugs, grinning at her, “It’s comfort food,” she explains. “Plus, we’re in off season so we have to take advantage,” she adds, wiggling her brows mischievously, because they all know they’re still not supposed to let their diet go to shit, even on off season. 

“Well thanks,” Tobin says, throwing her jacket onto her desk chair, before collapsing onto her bed, not even caring that she’s crushing some candy bars. “I saw Christen leaving for her date,” she informs them in a quiet tone. “She looked so pretty,” she says with a wistful sigh.

Ali and Ashlyn glance at one another before both getting off their bed and joining Tobin on hers, not hesitating to sandwich her in a hug. 

“I’m sad,” Tobin says pitifully. 

They just hug her tighter in response. 

—-

Christen’s leg is shaking nervously against the couch as she watches Jenni move around the kitchen, getting dinner finished up for them. She’d offered to help but Jenni had ushered her into the living room and told her just to relax and make herself at home that it wouldn’t take her long to finish up. 

She’d started it before she picked Christen up so she wasn’t spending most of their night together, cooking in the kitchen instead of hanging out with her. So basically she just has to put some finishing touches on it and make sure it’s heated properly.

“You don’t have any allergies, do you? I forgot to ask you,” Jenni says with a frown. 

“Uh, no, not that I know of,” Christen replies, shaking her head. 

“Okay, great,” Jenni grins.

Christen smiles as she watches her rush around the kitchen, looking so concentrated and focused on what she’s doing. It’s kind of sexy to be honest. Especially knowing that she’s working so hard on something for her. “What are you making?” Christen asks curiously, getting up off the couch and heading over into the kitchen again. 

“Aye, I told you to relax,” Jenni says, shaking her head at Christen. “It’s a mess in here,” she tells her, looking around at the disastrous kitchen. 

Christen just giggles at her, still finding her thick accent both adorable and sexy. “I was lonely,” she says with a shrug and a coy smile. 

Jenni grins back at her, and leans over, placing a quick kiss on Christen’s lips, before turning her focus back on their dinner. “I’m making Paella with clams and shrimp,” she informs her. 

“Yum,” Christen smiles, looking into the pan. 

“Have you had it?” Jenni asks curiously. 

Christen shakes her head with a shy smile, “No,” she admits. 

“You’ll love it,” Jenni assures her. “Okay, go sit, it’s almost done,” she says, shooing Christen out of the kitchen with her towel. 

Christen just giggles and goes into the living room, grabbing her drink and then sitting down at the small dining room table in the corner of Jenni’s apartment. “Can I get you a drink while you’re fixing the plates?” She offers. 

“I’ve got it,” Jenni assures her. She places a plate down in front of Christen and then another one in the seat next to hers, before heading back to the kitchen. “Do you like wine?” She asks curiously. 

“Um, I don’t really drink,” Christen informs her. “But, I’ve had wine with my parents a few times,” she then adds. 

“Okay, well we don’t have to drink it,” Jenni assures her with a smile. “Do you want some water? Or I have some different flavored club soda,” she offers her, opening up the fridge. 

“The wine sounds nice,” Christen decides with a smile. She doesn’t normally drink but she also knows that she can have a glass or two tonight and it won’t really affect her much and some wine does sound nice for their date night.

“Are you sure?” Jenni asks, eyeing her. 

“Yes,” Christen nods, giving her a bright smile, letting her know that she’s not just saying yes, because she thinks that she has to. 

“Okay,” Jenni nods, grabbing a bottle of Cabernet off the counter and a couple of glasses, bringing it over to the table. She sits down and pours Christen a glass and then one for herself. “Cheers,” she says, holding up her glass. “To a great night, tonight,” she then says, reaching out with her free hand, placing it over Christen’s. “I’m going to miss you over the next few weeks,” she tells her honestly, giving Christen a sincere smile. 

Christen smiles back at her, tilting her head to the side, feeling warmth spread throughout her body at the sweet statement. “I’ll miss you too,” she tells her honestly. Maybe she’s feeling confused about things with Tobin, but it doesn’t dismiss the fact that she really does like Jenni and she will actually miss her. 

They clink their glasses together and both take a sip, before starting to eat their dinner. 

“So what do you think?” Jenni asks after a few minutes, smiling over at Christen. 

“It’s really good,” Christen says, her mouth still full, making her blush a little at her initial excitement. 

But damn, Jenni really is a good cook. And she’s almost finished her plate in a record time.

She also hasn’t had a home cooked meal in what feels like forever.

“Sorry,” Christen apologizes, smiling sheepishly and covering her mouth. “It’s just really good,” she tells her again. 

Jenni chuckles at her and grabs a napkin, bringing it up to Christen’s face and wiping off a little juice than had run down her chin. “It’s okay,” she grins. “I’m glad you like it,” she adds, leaning closer to Christen as she finishes wiping off her face and places the napkin down. “You’re adorable,” she tells her with a grin, still leaning close to her and just staring at her with admiring eyes. “And so fucking beautiful,” she adds breathlessly. 

Christen’s eyes widen and she feels herself blushing at the blunt statement. “Thank you,” she manages to stammer, feeling a bit nervous under Jenni’s intense gaze. “You’re beautiful too,” she returns. 

Jenni gives her a gentle smile and places a hand behind Christen’s neck, “Just accept the compliment. You don’t always have to say something nice in response,” she tells her. “But thank you,” she then adds, sincerely. 

“I mean it,” Christen tells her, turning in her seat, to focus more on Jenni. “You’re gorgeous,” she tells her. 

Jenni grins widely at her and leans in, pressing their lips together. 

After a moment, Jenni pulls her lips away from Christen, but keeps their faces close together. “Should we move over to the couch?” She asks, against her lips. 

Christen swallows hard and feels her nerves and anxieties coming back full force because she knows exactly what that question means. Or what going to the couch would possibly lead to. And yes, she enjoys Jenni’s company and she really likes kissing her but she’s not ready for that yet. 

She’s never had sex before and she doesn’t really want her first time to be with someone that she’s not even fully in a relationship with. Or have it with someone when she also has feelings for another person. 

“I don’t want to have sex,” Christen blurts out. And as soon as she realizes what she’s said, her eyes widen and she feels her whole face go numb with embarrassment. 

Jenni pulls away from her giving her an amused look. “What?” She asks, confused by the outburst. 

“I just...I didn’t know if you were like expecting that tonight, or whatever,” Christen mumbles, looking down at her hands, not being able to look up at Jenni. “I like you a lot and I like....I like kissing you,” she says quietly, “But, I’m not ready for that,” she admits, and somehow feels even more embarrassed than she already had. 

“Christen,” Jenni says, but Christen refuses to look at her. “Hey,” she says in a softer tone, reaching out and putting a hand on Christen’s back. “That’s okay,” she assures her. “I wasn’t expecting anything,” she says, making Christen look over at her. 

“You weren’t?” 

“No,” Jenni says firmly. “I mean, if it were to have led to that, I wouldn’t have protested,” she can’t help but smirk. “But, I definitely didn’t invite you over tonight, expecting that,” she says gently. “I told you before that we can take this slow and I mean it,” she reminds her. “We will do whatever you feel comfortable with,” she adds softly. “I like you, Christen,” she says, nudging Christen’s neck gently, trying to get her to look back over at her. “I love being around you and hanging out with you. I’m not just wanting you for sex or anything like that,” she says, a little confused as to why Christen would think that. 

Christen nods her head, and swallows before finally looking at Jenni again. “I’m sorry,” she tells her. “Honestly, I knew that you wouldn’t pressure me or anything like that, but I was kind of worried about it,” she admits. 

“Why were you worried?” Jenni asks, softly rubbing the back of Christen’s neck with her fingers. 

Christen just shrugs, a bit uncomfortably. “I don’t know...I know that sex isn’t that big of a deal to a lot of people,” she starts to explain. “And I know that most people wouldn’t wait this long with someone that they’re dating,” she says quietly. “I just didn’t want you to stop being interested,” she says a bit sadly.

“I’m still very interested,” Jenni assures her with a smile. “And you’re right about sex not being a big deal,” she says. “But not in the way you’re meaning. I just mean that yeah, I enjoy it and obviously it’s a plus to dating but it’s not just something that I have to have. I can wait as long as you need,” she assures her. “I want you for you, not for sex,” she adds. 

Christen lets out a huge sigh of relief, her shoulders visibly loosening up. “I really like you too,” she says, reaching over and cupping Jenni’s face in her hand. 

Jenni grins at her and grabs her hand off of her face, placing a kiss to her palm and then lacing their fingers together. “So, sex is off the table but....we can still make out, right?” She asks with a mischievous grin. 

Christen chuckles, biting down on her lip. “Yeah,” she nods. 

Jenni smiles and leans in, pressing her lips against Christen’s.

—-

When Christen gets back to the dorms, she can’t wipe the smile off of her face. She wasn’t really sure how going over to Jenni’s apartment was going to go, but honestly none of the scenarios that she’d come up with in her head had ended up this well. 

And she was embarrassed and nervous to have the conversation with Jenni about sex, but now that they had it, she feels so much relief. And she also feels a lot closer to the woman. They’d had a pretty serious and deep conversation about their feelings and they’d really figured things out. 

Christen had already liked her before, but now she knows that she does. 

However, there’s still-

“Tobin,” she says, almost colliding with the girl as she makes her way down the hallway.

“Oh, hey, sorry,” Tobin apologizes with a grin.

Christen notices a soccer ball at her feet and looks past Tobin to see Ashlyn on the other end of the hallway in front of a makeshift goal they’ve created and Ali standing there as well, grinning. “What are you guys doing?” Christen asks, amused. 

“Knitting sweaters!” Ashlyn yells, making Christen roll her eyes. “Come on! Time’s running!” She yells, rushing Tobin to keep playing. 

Tobin just chuckles at Ashlyn and then gives Christen an exaggerated eye roll. “You want to join?” Tobin asks with a smile. 

“No, that’s okay. I’m kind of tired,” she tells her. “Besides, we have to be up early,” she reminds Tobin with a grin. “You should get to bed too,” she tells her. 

Tobin just sighs, smiling at the girl. “I know, I know,” she groans. “I’ll go to bed soon. Don’t worry, I’ll be up and ready,” she assures her. “Nothing will keep me from spending the day with you,” she adds sincerely. 

Christen just smiles at her and takes a few more steps towards her dorm, “Night, Ash, Ali,” she says, sending them a smile. 

“Hey, wait!” Ali shouts, jogging to follow Christen into her dorm room. “How’d it go with Jenni?” She asks curiously. 

Christen can’t help but smile again thinking about how great it had gone with Jenni. “It went really well, actually,” she informs her. “We uh...we talked about it and she’s definitely okay with waiting,” she explains with a nod. 

“That’s great,” Ali smiles, genuinely happy for Christen and relieved as well. “I would have hated to have had to get Ash on her,” she adds with a chuckle. 

Christen can’t help but laugh at that, feeling grateful for her friend's protectiveness, “No need,” she assures her, as she starts to take her shoes off, wanting to change and get ready for bed.

“Okay, good.” Ali nods. “Alright, I should get back out there before Ashlyn starts yelling,” she says with a chuckle. “I’ll see you at yoga in the morning?”

Christen bites her lip and considers it for a moment. She’s supposed to be going with Tobin pretty early, though she supposes she could still get a yoga session in, with Ali before they leave. But honestly, she just wants to get up and go hang out with Tobin as soon as she can. “Actually, me and Tobin are getting up pretty early to go on a hike,” she informs her. 

“Really?” Ali asks, raising a brow. 

“Yeah, she wants to hang out since tomorrow is my last day here,” she informs her. “Besides, I’ll probably convince her to do some yoga with me on the mountain,” she adds with a smirk.

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Ali says, laughing. 

Christen just chuckles at her, “You’re probably right,” she agrees. “But, I’m going to try and get a session in while we’re up there, at least,” she tells her. 

“Okay, that’s fine,” Ali nods. “But you guys are going to be back for team dinner, right?” She asks hopefully. “It’ll be the last night we’re all together until next semester,” she explains. 

“I thought that’s what that night at the arcade was for,” Christen asks, raising a brow at her. 

Ali just smiles and shrugs her shoulders, “That was just what Kelley said to convince you guys to come,” she informs her. “But tomorrow really is our last day together,” she adds. 

“Okay, well I’m sure that we will be back for dinner,” Christen assures her with a smile. 

“Okay, great. I’ll see you tomorrow, night Chris,” Ali says before walking out of her room, to continue playing with Tobin and Ashlyn. 

Christen just chuckles as she gets ready for bed, because she can hear Tobin and Ashlyn bickering in the hallway and Ali trying to mediate. 

She’s pretty sure they’re going to be at it all night. 

But she’s happy that Tobin is having fun. She could tell earlier that she’d been pretty upset when she saw her leaving with Jenni. She’s just glad that Ashlyn and Ali are such good friends to Tobin, just like they are to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading!! Please leave me some comments to let me know your thoughts! Also, if there is anything you'd like to see in this story, let me know! I love suggestions or hearing what you guys would like to see! 
> 
> tumblr: dope1723

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and review if you would like me to continue! 
> 
> I also made a new tumblr account that you can find me at and feel free to talk to me: dope1723


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